She was quiet and composed again. "I don"t hate it," she answered very calmly. "Only they shan"t tie me--no one shall. And in the house it"s as though some one were watching behind every door. It used to be just the same at home. When people think a lot about religion something seems to get into a place. Why, truly, Mr. Magnus, I"ve wondered once or twice lately, in spite of myself, whether they mayn"t be right after all and G.o.d"s going to come in a chariot and set the world on fire."
"It sounds silly, but when you see the way Aunt Anne and Mr. Warlock believe things it almost makes them true."
Maggie finally added: "You mustn"t think me selfish. I"m very very grateful for all their kindness. I"m very happy. It"s all splendid compared with what life used to be at home--but I fancy sometimes that the aunts think I"m just going to settle down here for ever and be like them--and I"m not--I"m afraid of Aunt Anne."
"Afraid of her?" said Mr. Magnus. "Ah, you mustn"t be that."
"She has some plan in her head. I know she has--"
"No plan is set except for your good," said Mr. Magnus.
"I don"t want any one to bother about my good," answered Maggie. "I can look after that for myself."
This little conversation revealed Maggie to Mr. Magnus in an entirely new light. He had thought her, until now, a good simple girl, entirely ignorant of life and eager to be taught. The sudden discovery of her independence distressed him. He left the house that afternoon with many new points to consider.
Meanwhile Maggie had kept from him the true root of the matter. She had said nothing of Martin Warlock. She had said nothing, even to herself, about him, and yet the consciousness of her meeting with him was always with her as a fire smoulders in the hold of a ship, burning stealthily through the thick heart of the place, dim and concealed, to burst suddenly, with a touch of the wind, into shining flame.
It was after her talk to Mr. Magnus that she suddenly saw that Martin Warlock was always in her thoughts, and then, because she was Maggie and had never been deceitful to herself or to any one else, she faced the fact and considered it. She knew that she was ignorant of the world and of life, that she knew nothing about men and, although she had many times fancied to herself what love must be like, she did not tell herself now that it was love that had come to her.
She saw him as a desirable companion; she thought that he would make a most interesting friend; she would like to make her experiences of life with him at her side. She would be free and he would be free, but they would exchange confidences.
And then because she was very simple and had learnt nothing of the difference between the things that decent girls might do and the things they might not she began to consider the easiest way of meeting him.
She intended to go to him simply as one human being to another and tell him that she liked him and hoped that they would often see one another.
There were no confused issues nor questions of propriety before Maggie.
Certainly she was aware that men took advantage of girls" weakness--but that was, as in the case of Uncle Mathew, when they had drunk too much--and it was the fault of the girls, too, for not looking after themselves. Maggie felt that she could look after herself anywhere. She was more afraid, by far, of her Aunt Anne than of any man.
It happened on the very day after that conversation with Mr. Magnus that Aunt Anne said at luncheon:
"I think, Maggie dear, if you don"t mind, that you and I will pay a call on Mrs. Warlock this afternoon. You have not been there yet.
To-day will be a very good opportunity."
Maggie"s mind flew at once to her clothes. She had been with Caroline Smith to that young lady"s dressmaker, a thin and sharp-faced woman whose black dress gleamed with innumerable pins. Maggie had been pinched and measured, pulled in here and pulled out there. Then there had been afternoons when she had been "fitted" under Caroline"s humorous and critical eye. Finally the dress had been delivered, only two days ago, in a long card-board box; it waited now for the great occasion.
The great occasion had, in the guise of the Warlock family, surely arrived. Maggie"s heart beat as she went up to her room. When at last she was wearing the dress, standing before her mirror, her cheeks were red and her hands shook a little.
The dress was very fine--simple of course and quite plain, but elegant as no dress of Maggie"s had ever been elegant. There surely could not anywhere be a more perfect black dress, and yet, as Maggie gazed, she was aware that there was something not quite right. She was always straightforward with herself; yes, the thing that was not quite right was her own stupid shape. Her figure was too square, her back was too short, her hands too large. She had a moment of acute disgust with herself so that she could have torn the dress from her and rushed into her old obscure and dingy black again. Of what use to dress her up? She would always look wrong, always be awkward and ungainly ... tears of disappointment gathered slowly in her eyes. Then her pride rea.s.serted itself; she raised her head proudly and laughed at her anxious gaze.
There was still her new hat. She took it from the bed and put it on, sticking big pins into it, moving back from the mirror, then forward again, turning her back, standing on her toes, suddenly bowing to herself and waving her hand.
She was caught thus, laughing into the mirror, by old Martha, who pushed her sour face through the door and said: "They"ve been waiting this long time for you, Miss."
"All right, Martha," Maggie answered sharply, annoyed that she should be found, posturing and bowing, by the woman. "Why didn"t you knock?"
"I did knock, Miss. You were that occupied you didn"t hear me." The old woman was grinning.
Maggie went downstairs, her heart still beating, her cheeks still flushed. She did hope that Aunt Anne would be pleased. Aunt Anne, although she never said anything about clothes, must, of course, notice such things, and if she loved Maggie as Mr. Magnus said she did, then she would "show her approval." The girl stood for a moment on the bottom step of the staircase looking at her aunt who was waiting for her in the little dark hall.
"Well, dear--I"m waiting," she said.
The burning eyes of Thomas the cat watched from the deep shadows.
"I"m so sorry. I was dressing," said Maggie.
Her aunt said nothing more and they left the house.
Maggie, as always when she walked with Aunt Anne, was aware that they made a strange couple, she so short and the other so tall, she with her st.u.r.dy masculine walk, her aunt with her awkward halting movement. They went in silence.
Maggie longed for a word of approval; a short sentence such as "How nice you"re looking, Maggie," or "I like your dress, Maggie," or "That"s a new dress, dear--I like it," would be enough. After that Maggie felt that she could face a mult.i.tude of wild and savage Warlocks, that she could walk into the Warlock drawing-room with a fine brave carriage, above all, that she would feel a sudden warm affection for her aunt that would make all their future life together easy.
But Aunt Anne said nothing. She looked exactly as she had looked upon her first appearance at St. Dreots, so thin and tall, with her pale tapering face and her eyes staring before her as though they saw nothing.
Maggie, as they turned up into Garrick Street, said:
"I hope you like my new dress, aunt."
Aunt Anne turned to her for a moment, smiled gently and then vaguely, as though her mind were elsewhere, answered:
"I liked your old dress better, dear."
Maggie"s face flamed; her temper flared into her eyes. For a moment she had wild thoughts of breaking into open rebellion. She hated her dress, she hated London, above all, she hated Aunt Anne. That lady"s happy unconsciousness that anything had occurred drove the girl into furious irritation. Well, it was hopeless then, Mr. Magnus could say what he pleased, her aunt did not care for her--she would not mind did she fall dead in the street before her. The words in Maggie"s mind were: "You don"t look at me. I"m not a human being to you at all. But I won"t live with you. I"ll go my own way. You can"t keep me if you never speak to me nor think of me." But in some dark fashion that strange impa.s.sivity held her. Aunt Anne had her power ...
They climbed the dim crooked staircase behind the antiquary"s wall.
They rang the Warlock bell and were admitted. Maggie did not know what it was that she had expected, but it was certainly not the pink, warm room of Mrs. Warlock.
The heavy softly closing door hemmed them in, the silent carpet folded about their steps; the canary twittered, the fire spurted and crackled.
But at once the girl"s heart went out to old Mrs. Warlock; she looked so charming in her white cap and blue bow, her eyes were raised so gently to Maggie"s face and her little hand was so soft and warm.
The meeting between Anne Cardinal and Mrs. Warlock was very gracious.
Aunt Anne gravely pressed the old lady"s hand, looked at her with her grave distant eyes, then very carefully and delicately sat down.
Amy Warlock came in; Maggie had met her before and disliked her.
Conversation dealt decently and carefully with the weather, the canary and Maggie"s discovery of London. Maggie was compelled to confess that she was afraid that she had not discovered London at all. She felt Amy Warlock"s sharp eyes upon them all and, as always when she was in company that was, she thought, suspicious of her, she became hot and uncomfortable, she frowned and spoke in short, almost hostile, sentences.
"They"re laughing at my new clothes," she thought, "I wish I"d worn my old ones ... and anyway these hurt me." She sat up very stiffly, her hands on her lap, her eyes staring at the little bright water-colour on the wall opposite. Mrs. Warlock, like a trickling, dancing brook, continued her talk:
"Of course there"s the country. I was brought up as a girl just outside Salisbury ... So many, many years ago--I always tell my boy that I"m such an old woman now that I don"t belong to his world at all. Just to sit here and see the younger generation go past. Don"t regret your youth, Miss Cardinal. You"ll want it back again one day. I said to Martin only yesterday ..."
Neither Aunt Anne nor Amy Warlock had anything to say, so that quite suddenly on the entrance of tea, conversation dropped. They all sat there and looked at one another. There was a large silver tray with silver tea-things upon it and a fat swelling china dish that held hot b.u.t.tered toast. There was a standing wicker pyramid containing bread and b.u.t.ter, plates of little yellow and red cakes, shortbread and very heavy plum cake black with currants.
Mrs. Warlock had ceased all conversation, her eyes were fixed upon the preparations for tea. The door opened and John Warlock and his son came in.
Maggie"s eyes lighted when she saw Martin Warlock. She behaved as she might have done had she been in her own room at St. Dreots. She sprang up from her chair and stood there, smiling, waiting for him. First his father shook hands with her, then Martin came and stood beside her, laughing.
His face was flushed and he seemed excited about something, but she felt nothing save her pleasure at meeting him, and it was only when he had moved on to her aunt that she was conscious once more of Amy Warlock"s eyes, and wondered whether she had behaved badly in jumping up to meet him.
As she considered this her anger and her confusion at her anger increased. She saw that Martin was talking to her aunt and did not look at her. Perhaps he also had thought her forward; of course that horrid sister of his would think everything that she did wrong. But did he?
Surely he understood. She wanted to ask him and then wanted to go home and leave them all. She saw that her teacup was trembling in her hand.
She steadied it upon her knee and then her knee began to quiver, and all the time Amy Warlock watched her. She thought then that she must a.s.sert herself and show that she was not confused nor timid, so she began in a high-strained voice to talk to Mrs. Warlock. She told Mrs.
Warlock that she found Harrods" a confusing place, that she had not yet visited Westminster Abbey, that her health was quite good, that she had no brothers and no sisters, that she could not play the piano, and that she was afraid that she never read books.