On her way to Martin that morning the figure of Aunt Anne haunted her.
She felt for a brief moment that she would do anything, yes, even surrender Martin, to ease her aunt"s pain. And then she knew that she would not, and she called herself cruel and selfish and felt for an instant a dark shadow threatening her because she was so. But when she saw Martin outside Hatchard"s she forgot it all. It was a strange thing that during those weeks they neither of them asked any questions about their home affairs. It was as though they both inwardly realised that there was trouble for them of every kind waiting outside and that they could only definitely realise their happiness by building a wall around themselves. They knew perhaps in their secret hearts, or at any rate Martin knew, that they could not hold their castle for long. But is not the gift of three perfect weeks a great thing for any human being to be given--and who has the temerity, the challenging audacity, to ask with confidence for even so much?
On this particular morning Martin said to her:
"Before we get into the "bus, Maggie, you"ve got to come into a shop with me." He was especially boyish and happy and natural that morning.
It was strange how his face altered when he was happy. His brow was clear, his eyes were bright, and he had a kind of crooked confident smile that must have won anybody"s heart. His whole carriage was that of a boy who was entering life for the first time with undaunted expectation that it could give him nothing but the best and jolliest things. Maggie as she looked at him this morning caught her breath with the astonishing force of her love for him. "Oh, how I"ll look after him," was her thought. "He shall never be unhappy again."
They crossed the street together, and stood for a moment close together on the kerb in the middle way as though they were quite alone in the world. She caught his arm and they ran before a charging motor-"bus, laughing. People turned back and looked at them, so happy they seemed.
They walked up Bond Street and Martin drew her into a jeweller"s. She had never possessed any ornament except her coral necklace in all her life and she knew now for the first time how terribly she liked beautiful things. It was useless of her to pretend that she did not know that he was going to give her something. She did not pretend. A very thin old man, who looked like one of the prophets, drawn out of the wilderness and clothed by the most fashionable of London tailors, looking over their shoulders as he talked to them because he saw at once that they were not customers who were likely to add very much to his shop"s exchequer, produced a large tray, full of rings that glittered and sparkled and danced as though they"d been told to show themselves off to the best possible advantage. But for Maggie at once there was only one possible ring. It was a thin hoop of gold with three small pearls set in the middle of it; nothing very especial about it, it was in fact less striking than almost any other ring in the tray.
Maggie looked at the ring and the ring looked at Maggie. It was as though the ring said, "I shall belong to you whether you take me or no."
"Now," said Martin with a little catch in his throat, "you make your choice, Maggie." He was not a millionaire, but he did honestly intend that whatever ring she chose she should have.
"Oh," said Maggie, whispering because the shop was so large and the prophet so indifferent, "don"t you think you"d better choose?"
At the same time she felt the anxious gaze of the three little pearls upon her.
"No," said Martin, "I want to give you what you"d like."
"I"d like what you"d like," said Maggie, still whispering.
At this ba.n.a.lity the prophet made a little impatient movement as though he really could not be expected to stand waiting there for ever. Also a magnificent lady, in furs so rich that you could see nothing of her but her powdered nose, was waving ropes of pearls about in a blase manner very close to them, and Maggie had a strange, entirely unreasonable fear that this splendour would suddenly turn round and s.n.a.t.c.h the little pearl ring and go off with it.
"I"d like that one," said Maggie, pointing. She heard the prophet sniff his contempt, but she did not care.
Martin, although he would willingly have given her the most gorgeous ring in the shop, was delighted to find that her taste was so good, and like herself. He had great ideas about taste, some of his secret fears had been lest her strange uncouth upbringing should have caused her to like gaudy things. He could have hugged her before them all when she chose that particular ring, which he had himself noticed as the prettiest and neatest there.
"Just see whether it fits, darling," he said. At the word "darling" the prophet cast another despairing look about the shop, as though he knew well the length of time that lovers could take over these things if they once put their hearts into it. Maggie was ashamed of her stubby finger as she put her hand forward--but the ring fitted exactly.
"That"s right," said Martin, "Now we"ll have this put into a case."
"How wonderful he is," thought Maggie. Not as other women might have thought, "I wonder how many times he"s done this before." Maggie thought then that it would be more proper to retire a little so that she should not know the price--and she stood in the doorway of the shop, looking upon the wind and weather in Bond Street and the magnificent motor car that belonged to the lady with the pearls and a magnificent chauffeur, who was so superior that it was probable that the lady with the pearls belonged to him--and she saw none of these things, but was conscious of herself and Martin wrapt together in a mist of happiness that no outside force could penetrate.
As they walked away from the shop she said: "Of course I won"t be able to wear it."
He put the little square box, wrapped in tissue paper, into her hand, and answered: "You can wear it on a ribbon under your dress."
"Oh yes," she whispered, pressing his hand for a moment.
They did not climb on to a "bus that morning, but walked ahead blindly, blissfully, they did not know whither. They were now in wild days at the end of November and the weather was tempestuous, the wind blowing with a screaming fury and black clouds scudding across the sky like portents. Little heavy drops of rain fell with a sudden urgency as though they were emphasising some secret; figures were swept through the streets and the roar of the wind was so vehement that the traffic seemed to make no sound. And yet nothing happened--no great storm of rain, no devastating flood. It was a day of warning.
They noticed nothing of the weather. It might have been a world of burning sunshine for all they saw of it.
"You know," said Martin, "I"ve never liked giving any one anything so much as I liked giving you that ring."
"I wish I could give you something too," she said.
"Well, you can," he said. "Some little thing that I"ll carry about with me always ... Oh, Maggie!" he went on. "Isn"t it strange how easy it is to be good when no one worries you. These last ten days with you I couldn"t have done anything wrong if I tried. It isn"t fair to say we can help ourselves. We can"t. Something just comes along and seizes you and makes you do wrong."
"Oh, I don"t know," said Maggie. "Don"t let"s talk about those things.
It"s like Mr. Magnus, who says we"re treasure hunters or pools of water, or old men in asylums. I don"t understand all that. I"m just Maggie Cardinal.--All the same I believe one can do what one wants to.
I don"t believe people can make one do things."
"Do you think any one could make me not love you if they tried? I shall love you always, whatever happens. I know I shall never change. I"m not one to change. I"m obstinate. Father used to say "obstinate as a pig.""
That made her think of the old days at St. Dreot"s, just then, as they seemed, so remote. She began to tell him of those old days, of the Vicarage, of the holes in the floor and the ceiling, of her loneliness and the way the villagers used to talk, of her solitary walks and looking down on to Polchester from the hill-top, of her father"s sudden death, of Uncle Mathew ...
"He"s a funny old codger," said Martin. "What does he do?"
"I don"t know," said Maggie. "I really don"t know how he lives I"m afraid it"s something rather bad."
"I"ve known men like that," said Martin, "plenty, but it"s funny that one of them should be connected with you. It doesn"t seem as though you could have anything to do with a man like that."
"Oh, but I like him!" said Maggie. "He"s been very kind to me often.
When I was all alone after father died he was very good--" She stopped abruptly remembering how he"d come into her bedroom. "Drink"s been his trouble, and never having any money. He told me once if he had money he"d never do a thing he shouldn"t." "Yes," said Martin. "That"s what they always say when they haven"t any money, and then when they have any it"s worse than ever."
He was thinking, perhaps, of himself. At any rate to stop remorseful thoughts he began to tell her about his own childhood.
"Mine was very different from yours, Maggie," he said. "I wasn"t lonely. You don"t know what a fuss people made of me. I was conceited, too. I thought I was chosen, by G.o.d, out of all the world, that I was different from every one else, and better too. When I was only about nine, at home one Sunday they asked me if I"d say a prayer, and I did, before them all, made it up and went on for quarter of an hour. Lord! I must have been an awful child. And outside the religious time I was as wicked as I could be. I used to go down into the kitchen and steal the food and I"d dress up as a ghost to frighten Amy and I"d break mother"s china. I remember once, after we"d had a service in the drawing-room and two girls had gone into hysterics, I stole down into the kitchen in my nightdress to get some jam and I found one of the Elders making love to the cook. They were both so fat and he had his coat and waistcoat off and he was kissing her neck. My word, they were frightened when they saw me standing there! After that I could do what I liked with the cook ... We used to have prayer meetings in the drawing-room, and sometimes father would pray so hard that the gla.s.s chandelier would shake and rattle till I used to think it would come down."
"And the funny thing was that one minute I"d be pinching Amy who was kneeling next to me and the next I"d be shaking with religion and seeing G.o.d standing right in front of me by the coal-scuttle. Such a mix-up! ... it was then and so it is now. Amy always hated me. She was really religious and she thought I was a hypocrite. But I wasn"t altogether. There was something real in it and there still is."
"Didn"t you go to school?" asked Maggie.
"No, that was the mistake. They never sent me. Father loved me too much and he wanted to keep me always with him. He tried to teach me himself but I never learnt anything. I always knew I could turn them round my little finger. I always knew he"d rather do anything than make me unhappy. Sometimes we had lovely times together, sitting in the dusk in the front of the fire. Do you know, Maggie, I"ve never changed in my love for father? I"ve changed in everything else, but in that never.
Yet I"ve hurt him over and over and over again. I"ve done things ..."
Here he broke off. To-day was to be happy; they must build up their walls faster, faster, faster to keep the world out. He would think of nothing, nothing but the present. The wind blew and the heavy drops of rain fell, one and one and one, slowly between the gusts. Ho drew her close to him.
"Are you cold?"
"No, Martin dear."
"I suppose we should turn back."
"Yes, it"s getting late."
"It will seem hours until to-morrow."
"And to me too."
They were at the end of the Green Park. There was no one there. They kissed and clung together and Maggie"s hand was warm inside his coat.
Then they turned back and entered the real world once more ...
"Now we must have our matinee," Martin said. Maggie could not refuse and besides she herself wanted it so badly. Also the three weeks were drawing to a close, and although she did not know what was in store for them, she felt, in some mysterious way, that trouble was coming.
"Yes, we"ll have our matinee," she said.
It was a terrific excitement for her, apart altogether from her love for Martin. She had, of course, never been to a theatre. She could not imagine in the least what it was like. It so happened, by a wonderful chance, that a note came from Katherine Mark asking her to tea. She showed this to the aunts and said that she would accept it. She wrote to Katherine Mark and refused and told Martin that for that Wednesday afternoon she was quite free until at least seven o"clock. She wove these deceits with strong disgust. She hated the lies, and there were many, many times when she was on the edge of confessing everything to the aunts. But the thought of what would follow that confession held her back. She could not make things harder for Martin.