After breakfast Maggie came into the drawing-room and found Grace sitting there sewing.
She stood, timidly, in her old att.i.tude, her hands clasped in front of her, like a child saying her lesson.
"I beg your pardon, Grace."
Grace looked up. She had of course been conscious of Maggie ever since her entrance into the room. Her hands had trembled and her heart leapt furiously.
"Why, Maggie--" she said.
"I"m afraid I"m disturbing you," said Maggie, "but we haven"t really said anything to one another for the last fortnight. I don"t suppose that you want me to say anything now, but things get worse and worse if no one says anything, don"t they?" Now that she had begun she went on quickly: "I wanted to say, Grace, how sorry I am for the trouble and unhappiness that you and Paul have had during the last fortnight through me. I"ve been nothing but a trouble to you since I first came here, but it wasn"t that that I wanted to say. I couldn"t bear that you should think that I was just selfishly full of my own affairs and didn"t understand how you and Paul must feel about--about my uncle. Not that I mean," she went on rather fiercely, raising her head, "that he was to blame. No one ever understood him. He could have done great things if--if--some one had looked after him a little. But he hadn"t any one. That was my fault. I didn"t want you and Paul to think I don"t blame myself. I do all the time. I can"t promise to be better in the future because I"ve promised so often and I never am. But I am sorry."
Grace said nothing for a moment. Her hands trembled more than ever.
Then, without looking up, she murmured as though to her sewing:
"Oh no. Maggie ... no one blames you, I"m sure."
There was another pause, then Grace said:
"I think I"m not well. No, I can"t be well because I"m not sleeping, although I"ve taken aspirin more, I"m sure, than I ought to. What I mean is that they say it"s bad for your heart. Of course things have been very unfortunate, from the beginning one might say, but I"m sure it"s not been any one"s fault exactly. What I mean is that these things never are ... No, they aren"t really. I expect we all want a change."
"What are you frightened of me for, Grace," asked Maggie.
Grace started as though Maggie had indeed dropped a bomb at her feet.
She looked up at Maggie, wildly, her eyes staring about the room as though she were looking for some exit of escape.
"Frightened?" she repeated.
"Yes, you are," said Maggie. "That"s what worries me most. No one"s ever been frightened of me before--at least I don"t think any one has."
Maggie laughed. "Why, Grace, it seems so funny any one being frightened of me. I couldn"t hurt any one if I wanted to, and I"m sure I never want to unless it"s Mrs. Maxse. Be angry with me as much as you like, Grace, but don"t be frightened of me. Why, that"s ridiculous!"
It was the worst word to have chosen. Grace flushed a dull unwholesome purple.
"I"m sorry you think me ridiculous, Maggie," she said. "Perhaps I am.
I"m sure I don"t know. Yes, perhaps I am. What I mean is that what"s ridiculous to one is not ridiculous to another. You"re a strange girl, Maggie, and you and I will never get on. No, never. But all I ask is that you should make Paul happy. That is enough for me. I care for nothing else. He isn"t very happy just now. What I mean is that any one can see he isn"t eating his meals properly."
"Oh, Grace," cried Maggie. "I didn"t mean that you were ridiculous. I meant that any one being frightened of me was ridiculous. Anyway, I"m very sorry that I"ve made you and Paul unhappy. That"s all."
She turned and went.
It was the most lovely of April days, soft, primrose-coloured, the sea-breeze gently tempered by mist-veiled sun. Maggie sat at her bedroom window overlooking the drive and the blue-grey field that ran to the woods. She knew that there would be no difficulty about her escape to the Revival meeting. Paul had arranged that there should be an evening service at the Church at the same hour, an act of rather Un-Christian defiance. Maggie sat there, looking down in a condition of strange bewildering excitement on to the laurel bushes. It was wonderful to think that in another half-hour she would see Miss Avies once more, hear those wild hymns again, catch the stridency of Thurston"s voice; all these things spoke of Martin. She felt as though he were stealing towards her out of the dusk, it was as though, without any reason, she expected to find him at the service ... although she knew that he could not be there.
She heard the Church bell begin to ring, then the hall-door opened and Paul came out. He had on his soft black hat, he was carrying his Bible and prayer-book under his arm. He stood, for a moment, beside the hall-door as though he were listening or expecting something. She had a strange impulse to run down to him; so strong was it that she got up and moved to the door. Then slowly she came back to the window and stood looking down upon him. Suddenly, as though he felt her gaze, he glanced up, saw her, and waved to her. She waved back to him. He turned and walked quickly away, she heard the gate swing, screaming behind him.
She waited for a little, then put on her hat and coat and went out. She knew the Flower Street Hall, a place occasionally used by touring Companies, Wandering Lecturers, Charitable Concerts, and other casual festivals. It was at the far end of the town towards the end of the Promenade.
The town, dim in the first dusk, hummed with loiterers, girls released from the shops walking with their young men, middle-aged couples sauntering out to take a last whiff of the sea before going in to the evening meal, one or two visitors from the Hotel strolling across to the beach to watch the first evening stars and the rising moon. Pianos were playing, children shouting over the last game of the day; all hushed into a coloured mild tranquillity. In the fields beyond the houses the quiet was absolute.
Maggie found the building. The facade was blazing with electric light.
A huge poster, of the now familiar pink, declared:
GRAND RELIGIOUS FESTIVAL. All are invited. IS ALL WELL WITH YOU, BROTHER?
There was a crowd about the doors, and continually, with giggles and shamefaced laughter, couples broke away and climbed the steps into the Hall. Maggie, feeling that all eyes were upon her, entered the building. In the vestibule two grave-faced women in black bonnets handed papers with prayers and hymns to every newcomer. Maggie took hers, a door was opened in front of her, and she went in. The auditorium was a large one, semicircular in shape, with tiers of seats rising circus-fashion to a ceiling decorated with silver stars and pink naked cherubs. The stage had upon it a table, some chairs, and a reading-desk draped in crimson cloth. Below the stage was a small orchestra, consisting of two fiddles, a cornet, drum, and a piano.
There was also what seemed to Maggie a small choir, some women dressed in white and some men in black coats and white bow ties. Across the stage were suspended broad white bands of cloth with "Come to Jesus!"
"Come now!" "He is waiting for you!" in big black letters.
The hall seemed very full, and was violently illuminated with electric light. Maggie took this in as she stood very timidly just inside the door. A steward came forward and showed her a corner-seat. She saw, then, with a dramatic flash of recognition, Thurston and Mr. Crashaw sitting behind the table; then, with a still stranger emotion, Miss Avies as one of the white-robed choir. The sight of those three familiar faces seemed to close, finally and definitely, the impression that she had had during all those last weeks. They had "got" her again, and yet not they, but the power behind them. It seemed only five minutes ago that she had sat in the London Chapel and heard old Crashaw scream "Punishment! Punishment! Punishment!" She turned half in her seat as though she expected to see Aunt Anne and Aunt Elizabeth sitting one on either side of her. She looked at Thurston; he had coa.r.s.ened very much since she had seen him last. He was fatter, his cheeks stained with an unnaturally high colour, his eyes brighter and sharper and yet sensual too. He was smarter than he had been, his white bow tie stiff and shapely, his cuffs clean and shining, his hair very carefully brushed back from his high and bony forehead. His sharp eyes darted all over the building, and Maggie felt as though at any moment she would be discovered. Crashaw looked more like a decrepit monkey than ever, huddled up in his chair, his back bow-shaped. He breathed into his hands as though he wanted to warm them, and looked at n.o.body. Miss Avies Maggie could not see clearly.
Her eyes wandered over the audience. She saw many townspeople whom she knew, and she realised, for the first time, that tomorrow everywhere it would be said that the Rector"s wife had been at the Revival meeting.
And how different an audience from the old London one. Every one had come on this occasion to see a show, and it was certainly a show that they were going to see. Maggie had entered during a pause, and all the faces that were there wore that look of expectation that demands the rising of the curtain. Soon, Maggie felt, they would stamp and whistle did the play not begin.
Thurston rose and announced:
"My brothers, we will sing hymn No. 14 on the paper."
Maggie looked and discovered that it was the hymn that had once moved her so dramatically in London with the words
By all Thy sores and b.l.o.o.d.y pain Come down and heal our sins again.
and with the last refrain:
By the blood, by the blood, by the blood of the Lamb We beseech Thee.
Already, in spite of herself, in spite of her consciousness of the melodrama and meretricious glitter of the scene, her heart was beating.
She was more deeply moved, even now, than she had ever been by all the services of the Skeaton Church.
And Thurston had learnt his job by this time. Softly one of the violins played the tune. Then Thurston said:
"The first verse of this hymn will be sung by the choir alone. The congregation is asked to stand and then to join in the second verse.
The fourth verse will be sung by the soloist."
The audience rose. There was a hush of expectation throughout the building. The choir, to the accompaniment of the fiddlers alone, sang the first verse. They had been well selected and trained. Thurston obviously spared no expense. For the second verse, the whole orchestra combined, the drum booming through the refrain. At first the congregation was timid, but the tune was simple and attractive. The third verse was sung by every one, and Maggie found herself, almost against her will, joining in. At the fourth verse there was again the hush of expectation, then a soprano, thin and clear, accompanied again by one violin, broke the silence.
There was no doubt that this was very moving. Men and women sat down at the hymn"s close quite visibly affected.
Thurston got up then and read a lesson from the Bible. He read from the Revelations:
"After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will show thee things which must be hereafter."
"And immediately I was in the Spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne."
"And he that sat was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald. And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment; and they had on their heads crowns of gold."
Thurston had worked hard during these last years, he had immensely improved his accent, and his h"s were all in their right places. He read very dramatically, dropping his voice to a whisper, then pausing and staring in front of him as though he saw G.o.d only a few yards away.
The people of Skeaton had had few opportunities of any first-cla.s.s dramatic entertainment. When Thurston finished there pa.s.sed through the building a wave of excitement, a stir, a faint murmur. An old woman next to Maggie wiped her eyes. "Lovely!" Maggie heard her whisper.
"Lovely!"