"Do as you think best--but now I must go. Good-night!"
He took her hand and kissed it--his lips were burning. Then he watched her as she went up the stairs, never looking back. And a sudden anguish came over him. How hopeless the whole thing was! He had better not have relied upon his self-command, and have stayed away.
He did not go to church on the Sunday. Katherine rather wondered at this, as she walked back alone across the park. In the country, Lady Garribardine expected the inmates of her house to be very orthodox.
The fine spring wind had blown two faint pink roses into her cheeks, by the time she reached the schoolroom, and there found Mr. Strobridge seated in her favourite armchair reading a book!
He rose eagerly as she entered, but he did not shake hands.
"I thought possession would be nine points of the law, so I ensconced myself here, and awaited you, and I am going to stay until you turn me out."
"Very well--that will be at ten minutes to one--at five minutes to, Thomas comes to lay the table for my lunch."
"That gives us just under half an hour--Katherine, you beautiful thing, let me look at you!"
And now he took both her hands and pulled her to the light.
"You have grown much prettier, you know--and are more attractive than ever, alas!"
"If you are going to talk like that, although you may stay, I shall leave you alone."
"No, I am going to be reasonable. Tell me everything, what you have been doing, and reading, and thinking, since I went away?"
"I have been doing my work--and reading all the books you gave me--and many others--and thinking about life."
"Never once of me, I suppose?"
"Yes--you are part of my life--my one friend."
He started forward.
"Darl----" but he checked himself before the word came quite out, and said instead:
"Ah! that is joy to hear! And now I want to know what you thought of Symonds and Pater and the rest?--You will have quant.i.ties of things to discuss with me, I am sure."
Katherine began taking off her hat and coat, and then put them neatly on the long, hard sofa; she never glanced in the gla.s.s or patted her hair--She was boyish in her unconsciousness.
Gerard Strobridge watched her, and then suddenly looked away; the insane desire was rising in him again to take her in his arms. So he exerted extra control over himself, and spent the rest of the time in truly friendly converse, in which he a.s.sumed the character of stern tutor, examining a promising pupil upon a holiday task performed in his absence.
Katherine was enchanted, and when ten minutes to one came, she wished he had not to go.
"It has given me so much pleasure to talk to you--I am so glad you have come back." But she held her hands behind her when he would have taken them again, in gladness at her words.
"So much touching is undesirable if we are going to remain friends," she told him.
"When may I come again?"
"You must arrange that."
"After tea, just until it is getting dark enough for Martha to be coming to draw the curtains?"
"Yes, perhaps."
And with this he left comforted.
But when he had gone, Katherine Bush went and looked out of the window, and very slowly shook her head in perplexity.
"It will certainly hurt him--and what will Her Ladyship say? She may think I am not playing the game."
And then she remembered Lord Chesterfield"s advice in one of his maxims:
When a man of sense happens to be in that disagreeable situation in which he is obliged to ask himself more than once, "What shall I do?"--he will answer himself--"Nothing." When his reason points out to him no good way, or at least no one way less bad than another, he will stop short and wait for light.
CHAPTER XX
Katherine Bush always looked back upon that Easter party as being the third milestone in her career.
It happened that a certain guest wished to try some new songs she was going to sing on Sunday night, and instead of the agreeable gloaming Gerard Strobridge had been looking forward to enjoying with Katherine alone, he was forced by his aunt to take this lady up to the schoolroom after tea and request Miss Bush"s services as accompanist.
Katherine had been practising her old gift of reading music almost every evening when alone and was now very proficient. Lady Garribardine knew this, because she had sent for her secretary to play to her several times in her sitting-room when she was there without visitors and was suffering from rheumatism.
Mr. Strobridge introduced Katherine to the visitor, who turned out to be the beautiful lady he had walked with in the rose garden; and they got on extremely well. It was the first time Katherine had ever chatted, as practically an equal, alone with a member of society except her employer.
The stranger was charming, and insisted that she should come down to play again in the drawing-room after dinner.
Another occasion for the black frock to be worn! And a chance not to be wasted for observation as to behaviour! Katherine, when evening came, made herself look her very best, and was waiting demurely by the piano as the ladies entered the room. From this position she attracted no attention until some of them wanted to play. The guest she had accompanied was again graciously sweet to her, and some of the others joined in the conversation while they strummed and pulled about the songs.
There was something arresting in Katherine"s type which called for notice when people were near enough to observe details of her mousy fair hair that had no touch of gold in it, but always glistened grey, and her wonderfully pale skin and dark brows, giving her strange eyes that intense shadowed mystery which aroused interest.
Gerard, who joined the party by the piano when the men came in, watched her silently. She had studied to obtain an air of distinction, and Gerard, whose love did not blind his fastidious critical faculties, remarked that there was a real advance in this direction since the Christmas night when he had last seen her in evening dress. She did not look so sullen either and answered with fluency and ease when she was addressed, and not in the monosyllabic fashion of former days.
An elderly politician spoke to her. He seemed delighted with her conversation, and indicated by a gesture that she should sit down beside him when the songs were over and she was about to slip away out of the room.
Katherine was not at all certain whether she ought to stay or not, but Lady Garribardine at that moment came up and said casually, "You must not go to bed yet, Miss Bush, perhaps they will sing again; wait here and talk to Sir John."
And so bidden, Katherine was delighted to obey and used her intelligence to be agreeable and sympathetic. Gerard continued to watch her and felt pride in her.
"Your secretary is having a great success to-night, isn"t she, Seraphim?" he said to his aunt.
"Yes--and it is deserved; the girl is one in a thousand. I think I shall encourage Sir John for her; he is longing for a wife, and has a tidy seven thousand a year, and only rare attacks of gout. She could manage him capitally and be of real use to the party. She will never let her heart interfere with her ambitions!"
"He would make an ideal husband!" Mr. Strobridge"s tone was sardonic. "A lover in that case would be an immediate necessity--by all means, Seraphim, press the match!"
Her Ladyship gave him one of her shrewd glances and then she said: