She sighed; then settled back into the pillow with a little shudder.
"This town," she said; "the things they do. Oh! to get away from it, to get away!"
"And we will!" he cried eagerly. "That"s what we need, both of us--a holiday. I"ve been thinking it over. We"re both tired. When this Jubilee is over we"ll go abroad--Italy, Greece. We"ll have a second honeymoon. Oh, Amy, we"ll begin life again. I"ve been much to blame--much to blame. Give me that letter. I"ll destroy it. I know my enemy, but I"ll not think of him or of any one but our two selves. I"ll be good to you now if you"ll let me."
She gave him the letter.
"Look at it before you tear it up," she said, staring at him as though she would not miss any change in his features. "You"re sure that it is a forgery?"
"Why, of course."
"It"s nothing like my handwriting?"
"Nothing at all."
"You know that I am devoted to you, that I would never be untrue to you in thought, word or deed?"
"Why, of course, of course. As though I didn"t know----"
"And that I"ll love to come abroad with you?"
"Yes, yes."
"And that we"ll have a second honeymoon?"
"Yes, yes. Indeed, Amy, we will."
"Look well at that letter. You are wrong. It is not a forgery. I did write it."
He did not answer her, but stayed staring at the letter like a boy detected in a theft. She repeated:
"The woman was quite right. I did write that letter."
Brandon said, staring at her, "Don"t laugh at me. This is too serious."
"I"m not laughing. I wrote it. I sent it down by Gladys. If you recall the day to her she"ll remember."
She watched his face. It had turned suddenly grey, as though some one had slipped a grey mask over the original features.
She thought, "Now perhaps he"ll kill me. I"m not sorry."
He whispered, leaning quite close to her as though he were afraid she would not hear.
"You wrote that letter to Morris?"
"I did." Then suddenly springing up, half out of bed, she cried, "You"re not to touch him. Do you hear? You"re not to touch him! It"s not his fault. He"s had nothing to do with this. He"s only my friend. I love him, but he doesn"t love me. Do you hear? He"s had nothing to do with this!"
"You love him!" whispered Brandon.
"I"ve loved him since the first moment I saw him. I"ve wanted some one to love for years--years and years and years. You didn"t love me, so then I hoped Falk would, and Falk didn"t, so then I found the first person--any one who would be kind to me. And he was kind--he _is_ kind--the kindest man in the world. And he saw that I was lonely, so he let me talk to him and go to him--but none of this is his doing. He"s only been kind.
He--"
"Your letter says "Dearest"," said Brandon. "If you wrote that letter it says "Dearest"."
"That was my foolishness. It was wrong of me. He told me that I mustn"t say anything affectionate. He"s good and I"m bad. And I"m bad because you"ve made me."
Brandon took the letter and tore it into little pieces; they scattered upon the counterpane.
"You"ve been unfaithful to me?" he said, bending over her.
She did not shrink back, although that strange, unknown, grey face was very close to her. "Yes. At first he wouldn"t. He refused anything. But I would.... I wanted to be. I hate you. I"ve hated you for years."
"Why?" His hand closed on her shoulder.
"Because of your conceit and pride. Because you"ve never thought of me.
Because I"ve always been a piece of furniture to you--less than that.
Because you"ve been so pleased with yourself and well-satisfied and stupid. Yes. Yes. Most because you"re so stupid. So stupid. Never seeing anything, never knowing anything and always--so satisfied. And when the town was pleased with you and said you were so fine I"ve laughed, knowing what you were, and I thought to myself, "There"ll come a time when they"ll find him out"--and now they have. They know what you are at last. And I"m glad! I"m glad! I"m glad!" She stopped, her breast rising and falling beneath her nightdress, her voice shrill, almost a scream.
He put his hands on her thin bony shoulders and pushed her back into the bed. His hands moved to her throat. His whole weight, he now kneeling on the bed, was on top of her.
"Kill me! Kill me!" she whispered. "I"ll be glad."
All the while their eyes stared at one another inquisitively, as though they were strangers meeting for the first time.
His hands met round her throat. His knees were over her. He felt her thin throat between his hands and a voice in his ear whispered, "That"s right, squeeze tighter. Splendid! Splendid!"
Suddenly his eyes recognised hers. His hands dropped. He crawled from the bed. Then he felt his way, blindly, out of the room.
Chapter V
Tuesday, June 22: I. The Cathedral
The Great Day arrived, escorted sumptuously with skies of burning blue.
How many heads looked out of how many windows, the country over, that morning! In Polchester it was considered as only another proof of the esteem in which that city was held by the Almighty. The Old Lady might deserve and did unquestionably obtain divinely condescending weather for her various excursions, but it was nothing to that which the Old Town got and deserved.
Deserved or no, the town rose to the occasion. The High Street was swimming in flags and bunting; even in Seatown most of the grimy windows showed those little cheap flags that during the past week hawkers had been so industriously selling. From quite early in the morning the squeak and scream of the roundabouts in the Fair could be heard dimly penetrating the sanct.i.ties and privacies of the Precincts. But it was the Cathedral bells, pealing, crashing, echoing, rocking, as early as nine o"clock in the morning, that first awoke the consciousness of most of the Polcastrians to the glories of the day.
I suppose that nearly all souls that morning subconsciously divided the order of the festival into three periods; in the morning the Cathedral and its service, in the afternoon the social, friendly, man-to-man celebration, and in the evening, torch-light, bonfire, skies ablaze, drink and love.
Certain it is that many eyes turned towards the Cathedral accustomed for many years to look in quite other directions. There was to be a grand service, they said, with "trumpets and shawms" and the big drum, and the old Bishop preaching, making, in all probability, his very last public appearance. Up from the dark mysteries of Seatown, down from the chaste proprieties of the villas above Orange Street, from the purlieus of the market, from the shops of the High Street, sailors and merchantmen, traders and sea-captains and, from the wild fastness of the Fair, gipsies with silver rings in their ears and, perhaps, who can tell? bells on their dusky toes.
Very early were Lawrence and Cobbett about their duties. This was, in all probability, Lawrence"s last Great Day before the final and all-judging one, and well both he and Cobbett were aware of it. Cobbett could see himself that morning almost stepping into the old man"s shoes, and the old man himself was not well this morning--not well at all. Rheumatism, gout, what hadn"t he got?--and, above all, that strange, mysterious pain somewhere in his very vitals, a pain that was not precisely a pain, too dull and homely for that, but a warning, a foreboding.
On an ordinary day, in spite of his dislike of allowing Cobbett any of those duties that were so properly his own, he would have stayed in bed, but to-day?--no, thank you! On such a day as this he would defy the Devil himself and all his red-hot pincers! So there he was in his long purple gown, with his lovely snow-white beard, and his gold-topped staff, patronising Mrs. m.u.f.fit (who superintended the cleaning) and her ancient servitors, seeing that the places for the Band (just under the choir- screen) and for the extra members of the choir were all in order, and, above all, that the Bishop"s Throne up by the altar was guiltless of a speck of dust, of a shadow of a shadow of disorder. Cobbett saw, beyond any question or doubt, death in the old man"s face, and suddenly, to his own amazement, was sorry. For years now he had been waiting for the day when he should succeed the tiresome old fool, for years he had cursed him for a thousand pomposities, blunders, tedious garrulities, and now, suddenly, he was sorry. What had come over him? But he wasn"t a bad old man; plucky, too; you could see how he was suffering. They had, after all, been companions together for so many years....