"Be mindful that this "no rules" policy applies across the entire forest. Anyone in the forest will be aware of this rule and will also be following it. Your goal is to survive to the end."
I couldn"t keep quiet any longer. "Survive? What is this, some kind of tacky reality TV show?"
Tony squeezed my hand. I was taking that as his approval.
Celine answered me. "This is all about survival, but it"s not a TV show and nothing is being filmed. What happens in the forest, stays in the forest."
That never meant anything good when it was used in Las Vegas, so it gave me a bad feeling to hear it said in relation to a forest I was about to spend the next couple of days in. And I wasn"t fooling myself anymore a into this forest I was going ... if not to complete this test, then to find another way out of here. These guys were f.u.c.king nutb.a.l.l.s.
"Does anyone have any questions?" Dardennes looked out over our group, waiting for a response.
Finn raised his hand. "How long do we have to complete the course?"
"As long as you need."
Finn looked as confused as I felt. "Well, what if it takes us a whole week?"
"It won"t," was the mysterious and very unhelpful answer.
Not surprisingly, no one had any more questions. If the answers were going to be this ridiculous, there really wasn"t any point.
"Okay, I will now turn you over to Niles. The sun will be going down soon, and he needs to have you outfitted before sunset."
Dardennes and Celine went back to the lodge, stepping inside and closing the door behind them. Ivar stood next to our commando mini-man who began speaking to us.
"Follow me to get your provisions and further directions." He turned and disappeared between the trees, Ivar closely behind him.
Jared went first. Tony let go of my hand so we could go single-file. Behind us were Finn, Becky, and Chase. I found myself wishing Samantha were with us. Her take-no-s.h.i.t, bada.s.s att.i.tude would have made me feel a little bit better being out here with these crazy f.u.c.ks in no man"s land. I"d bet she would have spoken up. They probably would have had to stick her with the tranquilizer needle too. It was a sad thing, really, this nostalgia I was having for a girl who probably considered me her enemy.
A couple of minutes later, we ended up in a clearing. In the center were a few tables made of huge slabs of sliced tree trunk propped up by thick stumps. The trees around us were so thick they nearly blocked out the remaining daylight. Our feet made no sound on the carpet of needles and long-dead leaves. My feet sprung up with every step, telling me the layers of decomposing forest went very deep. I turned around, realizing that I had already lost my bearings. I had no idea which way the lodge was from here.
Tony stayed close, not saying anything. The others stayed quiet as well, their heads swiveling in all directions, taking in the incredible majesty of the forest around us. I wasn"t so angry that I couldn"t appreciate this kind of beauty. It was truly breathtaking.
"Everyone please take one pack from the far table."
I looked over and saw that one of the tables was covered in small camouflage backpacks. Tony went and got two, one for each of us. I stayed where I was, keeping my eye on Niles, commando dwarf. He didn"t waste a second looking back at me; he was all business. He was a little bit scary. I"d bet he knew how to use that knife strapped to his leg.
"Inside each of these sacks you will find waypoint flags, a map of the forest with waypoints indicated, food, water, flint, a small flashlight, and a rescue flare. If you don"t know how to use a flint, please raise your hand."
I was glad Becky raised hers. Even though I didn"t know how to use one, I didn"t want to admit it for some reason. As the seriousness of this situation started to sink in, the less I wanted to expose any weaknesses I had.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as Ivar demonstrated the flint for her. It seemed easy enough. I noticed I wasn"t the only one watching. The only ones who didn"t seem to care much were Chase and Jared. Maybe Chase was in on whatever Jared had going on too. I was going to keep an eye on both of them.
"Step over to the middle table."
I followed Tony to the table in front of Niles. I hadn"t paid much attention to it before, but now I sure was a now that I realized it was covered in weapons. Weapons?
"What the h.e.l.l do we need weapons for?" I asked angrily.
Niles just looked at me, not answering. He had no expression on his face a just like Ivar. Two, cold, heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.ds they were. I had a mind to use one of those weapons on them.
"The biggest will pick first. You ... ," he gestured towards Chase, " ... pick first."
We studied the table. Laid out in nice even rows were a gun, a bowie knife, a compound bow with arrows, a double bladed axe, a spear, a slingshot with pellets, and a sharpened stick. A sharp stick? What the h.e.l.l good is a sharp stick?
Chase walked over to the table and picked up the gun, shoving it in his bag.
"You ... next."
Jared walked up to the table and took the spear.
"You ... your turn."
Spike walked up to the table and stood there for a few seconds. He selected the slingshot. He turned away and stretched the rubber bands out, pretending to play them like a guitar.
I had to smile at that. At least someone was having some fun out here.
Spike caught me and smiled back, but even his s.e.xy self couldn"t make me happy right now.
"You, freckles ... "
Finn looked p.i.s.sed, but walked up to the table quickly. He picked up the compound bow and arrows without hesitating. I hoped he knew how to use that thing a I"m afraid I"d shoot my own foot if I had to try to work it.
"You ... "
Now it was Tony"s turn. "What do you think?" he asked me quietly.
"I don"t know ... axe?"
"Yeah, that"s what I was thinking, too." He walked up and took the weapon off the table.
"Little girl ... you ... " He was gesturing to Becky.
"Hey, wait a minute! I"m bigger than her!" I was p.i.s.sed. I knew what was going on here. I was being punished for giving Ivar a hard time. The big oaf looked at me and I swear he smiled. It might not have reached his mouth, but it was definitely in his eyes.
b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
"You can go ahead, Jayne, I don"t mind."
d.a.m.n her for being so nice. "No, Becky, go ahead. I don"t give a s.h.i.t which weapon I have."
Becky"s no dummy; she walked up to the table and took the knife.
That left me with the sharp stick. Yay, me. Now I"d be able to use my mom"s favorite saying a That"s better than a sharp stick in the eye! a and have a prop too. I walked up to the table and took the stick. I tapped it in the air in Ivar"s direction; then I kissed the tip of it, keeping my eyes on him. a.s.shole. A little piece of me wished I were going to see him in the forest later. Of course, I"d have to sneak up on him since he was three times my size. And I"d have to borrow Tony"s axe and whack Ivar with the flat side of it on his head, since I really couldn"t see myself stabbing him with my stick or actually chopping any of his body parts off ... but still ...
"Your instructions are simple. You are to leave this clearing and head to waypoint number one. Once there, you tie your flag to the waypoint itself. Then you head to waypoint two and repeat the process. Continue until you reach the fourth and last waypoint. Once you have tied your flag to the fourth waypoint, follow the instructions there to proceed to the debriefing. Are there any questions?"
It didn"t matter if we had any, because he didn"t wait. "If, at any point in the test you decide to surrender, light your flare. Someone will come and take you back to the lodge. For each waypoint you have reached and tied a flag to, you will receive one hundred and twenty-five dollars. If you have not yet reached any waypoints when you surrender, you will receive only fifty dollars. Any questions?"
He continued on once again, "There is no way to cheat during this test. In fact, there is no such thing as cheating in this test. Anything goes. Do whatever it takes to get to the waypoints. There are no rules here ... there are no laws. Not even the laws you remember from home. Do you understand?"
I looked around at everyone"s faces in the clearing. It was getting darker and it was harder to see them. I saw some nodding coming from Finn and Becky. Nothing from Chase or Jared.
Tony raised his hand.
"What?!" asked the impatient dwarf.
"Um, I just want to be sure I understand ... when you say "no laws" do you mean, like no laws, like, at all?"
Niles sighed loudly, obviously frustrated with the apparently incapable idiots in front of him. "No laws. I can"t be any clearer than that."
"Okay, so if Jared wants to throw his spear through Chase"s head, that"s okay with you guys?" I asked, flippantly. This was totally stupid. They had to specify what they meant by "no laws". They couldn"t just leave it out there for us to figure out.
"That"s exactly what I mean. Thank you, Jayne, for that excellent clarification."
I started choking, having swallowed some drool down the wrong tube. Tony had to whack me on the back a few times to get me breathing again.
I heard Becky squeak in alarm.
Finn let out a, "What in the sam hill?!"
Chase just shook his head slowly from side to side.
Jared looked down at the ground.
Tony grabbed my upper arm and squeezed like h.e.l.l.
"Ouch, Tones, lemme go!"
"Oh, shoot, sorry. But holy c.r.a.p, Jayne! I think they expect us to kill people out here!"
"Don"t worry about it," I muttered. It"s not every day you"re let loose in a forest of homicidal maniacs. Something was going to fix this. Something had to happen. This was too f.u.c.ked up to be real. I refused to panic over something this outer-limits messed up. In fact, it was highly possible I was just having a really bad trip from the drug they injected me with. Of course, I had just felt Tony pinching my arm. Dammit.
"It"s seven o"clock. I suggest you get started. Nightfall comes quick here and the forest is very dark. You have enough food in your packs for two nights if you"re careful. Good luck. I"ll see you at the flare or waypoint four, whichever comes first." He grinned then, and it was very disturbing. He looked almost happy about setting us loose in this lawless land a me with a stupid sharpened stick to protect myself.
Niles and Ivar started walking away, leaving us alone in the clearing.
"Hey! Wait a minute! You can"t just leave us out here!"
They ignored me and kept going.
"Should we go after them?" asked Tony.
I didn"t know what to say. I had a feeling they"d be zero help if we did. And I had this sharp stick in my hand and was itching to use it on Ivar, so it was probably better if we didn"t.
"No, let"s just try to figure out where the h.e.l.l we are and where we"re going."
Tony put his sack on the ground and bent down to open it up. "Well, the good news is, we"re not lost."
I laughed bitterly. "Of course we"re lost. What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?"
"Nope. We"re not." He looked up at me and grinned, pulling a map out of his bag. "See? We have a map."
I bent down and gathered Tony in the biggest, strongest bear hug I could muster. No matter what happened in these f.u.c.ked up woods, I had my map-toting best friend Tony Green with me.
CHAPTER TWELVE.
We all moved to the center of the clearing, gathering around the weapons table that was now bare. I emptied out my backpack to see what was inside. My flags were purple. Cool ... my favorite color. Everyone else dumped their bags out too. Tony"s flags were green, which was both hilarious and spooky since there was no way Tony Green could have known which bag had those flags in it. This forest situation just got creepier and creepier every minute. Chase had blue flags, Jared yellow, Finn red, Spike black, and Becky orange. We also had the supplies Niles had mentioned: flint, map, army-style food packets, two bottles of water each, a mini-mag flashlight, and a big candle. I guessed that was the flare.
"How are we supposed to light these d.a.m.n flares, anyway?"
"The flint," answered Jared.
"Yeah ... the flint ... now why didn"t I know that?" I looked at Jared suspiciously. I guess I wasn"t hiding my feelings very well, because I felt Tony nudge me in the back.
Jared brushed my comment off. "So, we have an obstacle course to get through," he looked over at me but I refused to be flattered, "and I suggest we stick together, like we discussed."
I turned, pulling Tony a little off to the side. "Are we going to do this with them or are we going it alone?"
"This is a pretty big forest, Jayne a maybe we"d be better off if we stuck together."
I sighed. He was right. Still, I wasn"t all that excited about hanging out with Jared and now maybe Chase either. I just wasn"t sure that I trusted them. They seemed pretty unaffected by all of this. Anyone who wasn"t freaking out right now, in my opinion, was either a stone cold bada.s.s or in on this scheme somehow; and I didn"t think Jared was all that bada.s.s a maybe Chase, but not him.
Tony and I went back to the table and I said, "We"re in for now. We"ll take it as it comes; I can"t guarantee we"ll stay with the group for the entire test, though."
"Fair enough," said Jared. "What about the rest of you guys?"
Everyone nodded, so Jared pulled out his map and laid it on the table. Niles had been nice enough to mark a red spot on it, a type of "you are here" marker. The first waypoint was to the northeast. There was no scale or legend, so it was impossible to know how far away our first stop was. I was no map expert, but even I knew that this one sucked.
"We"re here, at this red dot. We need to get here, to the first waypoint. That means we have to go that way." Jared pointed off in the distance.
Tony and I quickly agreed. The final rays of the setting sun gave us a good reference for the compa.s.s points. "Man, do I wish I had a compa.s.s right now," I said to no one in particular.
Spike happened to be walking by me at the time. "Well, you kind of have one ... "
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"On the trees; rumor has it that moss grows more on the north side of the tree than the south side." He smiled as he walked ahead of Tony and me.
"Is that true, Tony?"