"Well, he"s not here, so that"s a good sign," I said. Dead people didn"t get up and walk away, even in the forest a or at least I hoped so. I ignored Becky"s tears a we didn"t have time to wallow in her emotional pain right now. I was very nervous about being here at the scene of the crime. Whatever they had done to set that creature off might be something we were doing right now. I didn"t want to face that thing, whatever it was, if we could help it. I like my face the way it is.
"They"re not here," I said, stating the obvious. "What next?"
Becky looked around, a forlorn expression on her face.
"Let"s go to waypoint three," said Tony, the voice of reason. "I"m sure that"s where they"re headed. We"ll meet up with them there or on our way to the last waypoint."
"Fine. Let"s go."
I started walking off with Tony, the way we had come.
Becky stayed put.
I turned and went back to her, taking her by the hand. "Buck up, little camper, we"ll find "em."
"But what about Finn?" she said, staring down at the stained forest floor.
"I haven"t given up on him yet, so you shouldn"t either."
Becky looked up at me, tears in her eyes again. "Did the trees tell you something?"
"No, it"s just a feeling I have."
I was glad she didn"t ask for any explanation because I really didn"t have one. It"s not that I was totally bulls.h.i.tting her, but whatever it was that was bothering me, giving me these feelings of doubt, was too deep in my subconscious to come to my thinking, rational brain right now. Something, something, something, was just not right about this whole thing a and I wasn"t talking about the fact that we were in a totally bizarre forest with supernatural creatures trying to kill us. Something bigger than all of this was going on a I just didn"t know exactly what it was. Yet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE.
We reached the lake around midday. It was gorgeous. Sunbeams. .h.i.t the surface of the water, intersecting with its still surface to create random patterns of diamond-like sparkles, flashing and twinkling in the light. The water"s edge was ringed with a narrow sh.o.r.e and trees. On the far side stood the waypoint obelisk a this one topped with a silver point that shone brightly, reflecting the rays of sun. We stood at the edge of the trees on the opposite side of the lake.
"Thar she blows," I said. "And when I say she blows, I mean, she blows. This whole thing blows. It blows the big honkis."
"What exactly is a honkis?" asked Becky, sounding a little more chipper now that we"d actually succeeded in reaching our nearest goal.
"A honkis, my little friend, Beckster of the Land of Tampa, is a p.e.n.i.s a a d.i.c.k ... a p.r.i.c.k ... a s.c.h.l.o.n.g, a dong, a w.a.n.ker ... a johnson, a trouser trout, a ... "
"Um, excuse me? Jayne?"
"Yes, Tony?" I asked innocently.
All I got was expectant bug-eyes in response.
"What? Does my p.e.n.i.s talk bother you?"
Becky giggled and said, "Dong."
I couldn"t help but laugh. "Dong? That"s all you got is dong?"
Becky stuck her chin out. "No, I got more. How "bout ... wiener."
I shook my head. "Pitiful. You and Tony are perfect for each other."
Becky looked over at Tony shyly, her face going red.
Tony pretended not to hear us, walking out of the trees towards the lake sh.o.r.e; but I saw the back of his neck going red too.
Hmmmm. Maybe when we were done fighting for our lives and getting our a.s.ses kicked by supernaturals, they could go to the movies or something. My matchmaking was interrupted by a howling coming from the trees on the other side of the lake.
We all stopped walking towards the obelisk, and instead, carefully and slowly regrouped back at the edge of the woods.
I shook my head angrily. "Motherf.u.c.ker! If it"s not one thing, it"s another. Did that sound like a wolf howl to you guys? Because it sounded like one to me." I was p.i.s.sed. We just couldn"t catch a break.
"Yeah," said Tony, quietly and intensely, "that definitely sounded like a wolf howl."
Becky just nodded her head up and down quickly, her eyes big and round and looking particularly gruesome with remnants of bruising around the outsides. She looked like she had done a particularly bad job applying some goth makeup.
"And what are the chances that this wolf is a garden variety wolf? Anyone?" I looked at Becky and Tony for feedback.
"Not good," said Tony.
At least I could count on him to be honest, even if it"s not really what I wanted to hear.
"Can the trees help us?" asked Becky, looking up.
"I don"t see how," I said. They could communicate feelings to me and respond to my requests doing plant stuff with their branches and leaves a but as far as I knew that was the extent of their capabilities.
"We need to get to that waypoint," said Tony, frustrated.
"Let"s just go then. We"ll keep our weapons out and our eyes open. Stick close to the trees.
"Shouldn"t we stick close to the water?" asked Becky.
"Yeah, that way we have more room to maneuver and we can see anything coming out at us from the trees," said Tony.
Any other time I would have agreed with them, but based on my newfound relationship with the green stuff in the forest, I was feeling much more secure being with them.
"I feel more comfortable with the trees; I can communicate with them." I looked out over the water. It seemed so beautiful and peaceful a just like this forest had looked on our first day in it. I continued, "Not to mention the fact that the Loch Ness f.u.c.king Monster could be swimming around in that lake looking for its next meal."
Becky and Tony looked at the lake with new eyes. They both turned back to me, nodding reluctantly in agreement. If nothing else, this forest had made us a lot more open minded about what could be. Never say never in the Green Forest.
"Let"s go."
We took our weapons out and began circling the lake, staying just inside the edge of the trees. We got halfway around before we encountered problems.
"Jaaayyyyne," said Becky nervously, her eyes on the lake to our right.
"What?"
Becky grabbed my arm. "There"s something moving in the water."
I looked at the lake but saw nothing. "Where?"
"There," she said, pointing to the center, directly across from where we were standing.
A wolf howl split the silence around us. It came from inside the forest, just to our left, and it wasn"t far away. We weren"t quite surrounded yet, but we had only two directions left to choose from a forward and back.
"Jayne, it"s close," said Tony.
A second howl pierced the air, this one of a different timbre.
"There"s more than one!" said Becky, panic in her voice.
Then a chorus of howls split the air.
"There"s a whole f.u.c.king pack! Get up in the trees," I urged.
I glanced towards the lake, second-guessing myself, wondering if we should go in that direction; but then I saw something just barely cutting through the surface of the water a a long trail of something, coming towards the sh.o.r.e, just next to where we were.
Trees, I need you. Help me and my friends get up in your branches. We need to go very high in one of The Ancients.
I decided that the old trees, the ones that had super big trunks, were going to be called The Ancients from now on. It just felt right. I didn"t have much time to think about it, though. I was too busy trying not to get mauled by wolves or eaten by Loch Ness monsters.
The branches of a huge nearby tree leaned down.
"Grab onto the branch!" I yelled.
Becky and Tony obeyed at once, first tucking their weapons into their clothes. We could hear something crashing through the trees, coming towards us. I shoved Blackie into my waistband.
Once we had grabbed hold, the tree lifted us to the next branch up. "Get on!" I yelled, panic in my voice. At this distance above the ground, which was still too low, I could see gray and black shapes darting between trees deeper in the woods, coming in our direction. "Faster!"
Another branch lowered to meet us and we all grabbed on desperately. We were lifted up again, now about twenty feet off the ground. I didn"t know if it was going to be high enough.
More.
Another branch came down and we all climbed aboard. Becky didn"t get a good grip though and started to slip. She screamed. "I"m falling!"
Tony grabbed her wrist and pulled her hard. She used the leverage to get a better grasp on the branch. "Thanks," she said breathlessly, lifting herself up, once again secure.
Now that we were higher up, but still not so high that the view below was obscured by other branches and leaves, we could see what we were dealing with. A pack of wolves reached our tree and circled below.
But of course these weren"t your normal wolves. They were wolf-people. Wolves in as much as they had fur everywhere, wolfish looking heads, tails and big f.u.c.king teeth; people in that they stood on two legs and had hands a but with sharp claws on them. Werewolves. They were snarling and jumping up on the side of the tree, trying to grasp the lowest branch.
I had moved to the inside part of the branch so I was against the tree"s trunk. I hugged it for all I was worth. Don"t let the wolves in the trees, don"t let the wolves in the trees; protect us, protect us, protect us.
"Jayne, what are you doing?!" Tony shouted in full freak-out mode.
"She"s talking to the tree, dummy!" retorted Becky. "Give her some s.p.a.ce!"
I opened my eyes in time to see Tony looking sheepish.
"I"m just asking it to keep the wolves out of the trees and to protect us," I explained. I didn"t want Tony to feel bad a this was a lot to process, so I was totally cool with any one of us losing our minds.
"How"s it going to keep the wolves out of the trees?" Tony asked, looking down.
One particularly persistent wolf was jumping up, over and over, trying to reach the lower branch. He was coming disturbingly close.
"I"m not sure; hopefully we won"t have to find out."
No sooner had I said that than the wolf succeeded in grabbing that friggin" branch, to the absolute jubilation of his pack mates who started snarling and howling all at once. The wolf on the branch fixed us with a hungry look, saliva dripping out of the corners of his mouth as he flexed his biceps, slowly lifting himself up and hooking his arms over the branch.
"Jayyynnne!" moaned Becky, near hysteria.
I could tell that the wolf thought he had it in the bag, a savage smile curling up the edges of his mouth a when all of a sudden the tree next to ours swung one of its branches over and whacked the ever-loving s.h.i.t out of that wolf, right on its stupid wolf head. The blow momentarily stunned him; he looked around not realizing where the a.s.sault had come from, naturally a.s.suming it was from us. He roared his displeasure and doubled his efforts to re-establish his hold on the branch and continue his upward movement.
But my lovely trees had other ideas. Now two large branches from neighboring trees swung over, their wood protesting with groans and cracks that rang out through the forest. They began beating him about the head and shoulders, causing him to yelp and snarl in frustration. Then our tree started shaking its branch up and down, making it impossible for the carnivorous beast to hold on, especially when combined with the beat-down from the other trees. The wolfman fell to the ground, landing on his back, stunned.
The other wolves stopped their snarling and growling for a minute, gathering around their fallen pack mate, sniffing the air above him. He sat up and shook his head, trying to get rid of what I hoped was one h.e.l.l of a headache. Then he looked up at us with the most malevolent stare I"ve ever seen. He was even madder than that hag had been when I stole her boyfriend away.
He growled at the group and they renewed their efforts to get us down from the tree; only this time, they were more subtle. They just circled the tree, growling. The look their bruised leader gave us said it all: they were going to wait us out. We had to come down eventually.
It was then that I realized how bad I had to pee. This was going to be a long f.u.c.king day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO.
"What time is it, Tony?" I asked. I knew he didn"t have a watch, but that didn"t stop me from expecting him to know the answer.
He looked out over the calm water of the lake, gauging the sun"s position by the reflections he was seeing. "About five o"clock a give or take."
"I have to pee like a friggin" racehorse," I said to no one in particular.
"Me too," said Becky.
"Me three," said Tony.