"Jayne, help me!" Becky screamed in sheer panic.
I had to do something, but apparently swimming after her was a no-go, thanks to my ropey green friends. I tried in that moment not to question their loyalty a they"d never done anything but help me, so I had to believe they were doing that now.
I let them know that I wasn"t going to go in the lake, turning to head back to sh.o.r.e. They loosened their hold on me and I ran back to where Finn had fallen, finding his bow and arrows lying next to him on the ground. I picked them up and tried to hold the bow and at the same time, load an arrow. It was much harder to do than it looked.
I looked down at him and considered freeing him from the vines, but his eyes were still glazed over. I couldn"t trust that he would help me and not go drown himself.
I sent a mayday message out to The Green, not expecting there to be a plant out there that knew how to shoot bows and arrows, but I didn"t know what else to do. I stood on the sh.o.r.e of the lake, tears streaming down my cheeks as I watched Becky"s face begin to disappear below the surface of the water, her eyes confirming the fear she felt as she approached her watery death.
"Becky! I"m sorry!" I screamed. I hated myself at that moment for being so powerless.
The bow and arrow were jerked from my hand. I started to fight, thinking one of my other friends had escaped and was going to follow Becky in, but it wasn"t one of them. It was a small person, not much bigger than Becky herself, dressed in clothes that can only be described as camouflage, even though it wasn"t a military variety. His shoes were more like moccasins and made no sound as he stepped one pace away from me. He lifted the weapon and, in one swift motion, notched the shaft in place, drew back the string, and let the arrow fly.
It sang through the air, hitting its intended target, piercing the heart of the Lady of the Lake. She let out a harrowing screech a it sounded like the cry of a thousand desperate, tortured souls. It was horrible. I covered my ears, trying to keep the sound away. I knew without question and without being told that too much of it could drive a person mad a I was already thinking that this world really had started to suck just hearing her screech one time. That was some powerful negativity coming at me. The Lady sunk beneath the surface, her deep crimson blood pouring down her gown and coloring the water around her. She kept her eyes locked on mine, even as the water rose up and covered her head. I saw anger in her eyes, and a silent promise of vengeance.
I anxiously watched the water for signs of Becky. My vines, sensing perhaps that I was again considering a water rescue, slithered up my legs. I absently brushed at them, knowing they were wasting their time because I"d never make it. The Lady was down, but I hadn"t actually seen her die. The look on her face had said that she"d like nothing better than to get her clammy hands on me.
The place where Becky had disappeared was calm. A few bubbles rose to the surface, which instantly got my hopes up, but then nothing followed. No waves, no ripples, no more bubbles. No Becky.
"Is she gone?" I asked.
The man next to me didn"t answer, so I looked at him. He nodded at me in silence.
I dropped my face into my hands and began sobbing. The man pulled me away from the edge, pushing down on my shoulder when I drew near my vine-entangled friends. I lowered myself to the ground, not thinking, just grieving.
Becky was gone and it was my fault. I had chosen to help the guys, but left her unprotected and vulnerable. The sobs racked my body. She was only a kid. She was tiny and unable to fend for herself. I should have taken care of her. I should have known better than to leave her out there. I knew if Becky hadn"t come out of the lake by now, she was never going to come out.
My heart was breaking. I didn"t know Becky that well, but I did know that she was a good person. She was always happy, always positive. She was like a girl version of my Tony. That realization made me cry even harder. When had our lives become so f.u.c.ked up? One day I"m worried about a trip to the princ.i.p.al"s office, and next I"m watching a really great kid getting drowned in a lake and my friends being hypnotized into nearly committing suicide.
I felt a movement nearby as one of the guys started b.u.mping up against me.
"Jayne, what the h.e.l.l"s going on?" asked Tony, struggling against his bonds. "Why am I all tied up?"
Spike spoke next. "Yo, not so sure I"m okay with the S&M a can someone untie me please?"
Finn was still just lying there, I a.s.sumed too weak from his recently healed injury to protest too much.
Chase struggled in silence, not managing to get very far but not due to lack of effort. He grunted with the strain he was putting into breaking the vines.
"Just stop, Chase, I"ll let you go."
I sent a request out to The Green to let my friends go, and they were released within seconds. I thanked the vines for their help, because without it, I"d no doubt be mourning the loss of five friends and not just one. But one was more than enough. I started crying again.
The guys sat up, rubbing the circulation back into their arms and legs. Tony scooted over to sit next to me, laying his arm across my shoulders. Spike came to my other side, putting his arm around my waist. Chase stood, gazing out at the water.
I looked up and saw what he was doing through my tears. "Chase, turn around!" I yelled, panic in my voice.
Chase turned to look at me with a questioning expression.
"There"s a f.u.c.king siren b.i.t.c.h in there who already hypnotized you once. Don"t look out there because I"m not f.u.c.king coming after you again." I was furious, but not at him. I was more angry with myself than anyone or anything else.
Chase came back to stand in front of me. "Where"s Becky?" he asked softly.
I dropped my head down, unable to look at them. "She went into the lake. She"s not coming back. I couldn"t save her." I threw my head up, disgusted with myself and yelling in frustration through my tears. "Correction! I could have saved her, but I didn"t. She"s dead because of me!"
The pain overwhelmed me, crushed me. I couldn"t think straight. I needed to get back into the forest and far, far away from this lake a this place of death. "Get me away from here," I begged.
Tony and Spike helped me stand.
Chase stopped for a minute, opening Becky"s bag. He pulled out her flare and her flint. He sparked the flint until it caught and lit the end of the flare. He held it up above his head and aimed it out above the lake. I watched it fire off its bright red light and send it soaring up into the sky. It was too late ... I knew that. The thought had me crying all over again. Chase threw the spent cartridge down on the sh.o.r.e of the lake.
The guys bent down, collecting our weapons, including Becky"s knife that had been dropped near the water"s edge. Seeing it brought even more tears to my eyes. I had so many of them rushing out I could hardly see anymore. Even so, I ran to the edge of the lake and picked up the cartridge. I don"t know why, but I just wanted to keep it.
"Leave it. So they can find her," said Chase, softly.
I stopped walking and just dropped the cartridge where I was standing. So they could find her dead body. A horrific thought. I doubted they"d even bother. It was their fault it had happened. Theirs and mine.
They guided me into the forest, away from the lake and towards the waypoint, setting me down under a stand of trees. Within seconds, the leaves began falling. I paid no attention, only barely registering their soft caresses, sliding across my arms or brushing my head gently to fall down my back to the ground around me. Soon I was nearly buried in the sympathies and condolences of The Green.
My sobs quieted down bit by bit. I was aware of the guys standing nearby, talking in low tones. The only thing I cared about right then was making sure none of them was walking back to that f.u.c.king lake. I didn"t have any more tears left to cry for them.
Tony noticed that I had stopped crying and came over, crouching down beside me in the pile of leaves. "I know you"re not better; but are you good enough to walk? We think it"s best if we get out of this area before nightfall."
I wiped my nose and eyes off with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, nodding. I hated to leave Becky"s final resting place, but the farther away from that witch in the water we were, the better off we were all going to be. I wished that I had the luxury of giving in to my feelings of revenge, because that b.i.t.c.h had it coming to her. The world was now short one awesome kid because of her and that just wasn"t right.
I stood to join the guys and, suddenly remembering my short-statured savior, looked around to see where he was.
"What are you looking for, Jayne?" asked Spike.
"The guy who shot that b.i.t.c.h in her evil, rotten, slimy heart."
"Uh, what guy?"
"There was a guy here. He took Finn"s bow and arrow and shot her. I couldn"t do it a I couldn"t work the d.a.m.n thing." I tried not to feel shame about that fact a it"s not like I"d ever held one before. Maybe I should have had Finn teach me.
Tony nudged me. "Stop torturing yourself. You had no way of knowing."
He was in my head again, but this time I wasn"t mad about it. It was lonely in there right now; I could use the company.
"Well, whoever he is, he"s not here now. It"s just us guys," said Spike.
Minus Becky, was all I could think. My depression settled over me like a heavy, dark cloak.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE.
I trudged on, walking behind Chase and Spike and in front of Finn. Tony walked next to me whenever the terrain would allow it. They were boxing me in, protecting me as best they could. I knew if something attacked us right now, I"d be of no help at all. All I wanted to do was lay down and sleep for the next ten years. Maybe by then I"d be able to forget all this madness.
I alternated between feeling helpless and sorry for myself, and being p.i.s.sed and ready to kill any one of the people of One Eleven Group with my bare hands. In those moments I was feeling pretty confident that I could even take Ivar down. Rage has a way of bringing on the adrenaline and superhuman powers.
Superpowers. That reminded me of the interview and the meeting we went to two days ago. Was it just two days ago? The beginning of the lies. My superpowers sure would have come in handy here in the forest. I hesitated in my thoughts. I kind of was using superpowers a at least in my interactions with The Green. I wasn"t doing anything myself, but I was involved. Something was bothering me, something my subconscious was seeing that I wasn"t. I think I was just too exhausted from the emotional pain and fatigue to focus. I had to get my mind off it for a little while. Maybe it would come to me later when I wasn"t trying to think about it so hard.
I started humming one of the tunes Spike had played in the warehouse the night before.
He looked back at me and smiled, reaching out his hand to touch my shoulder. It felt nice, the contact. These kids were nice people; they didn"t deserve this s.h.i.t any more than I did.
My thoughts were interrupted when Chase stopped and pulled out his map. Tony, Finn, and Spike joined him, looking over his shoulders.
I sank to the ground, staring off into s.p.a.ce. I could feel the hum of The Green below me, reaching up through the earth to connect. I think it could feel my sorrow. I suppose it was trying to heal my heart a but there was no way to do that. I cut off the link so I could be alone.
Tony came back and sat down next to me, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Hey," he said, searching my face.
"Hey."
"How"re you doing?"
"Not good."
He reached out and stroked my arm. "I know. Do you want to stop?"
"I really don"t care anymore," I said. And I really didn"t. Go, stop, sleep ... it didn"t make any difference.
Tony got up and went back to the others. They conferred for a little while and then started moving around, gathering bits of wood.
After a few minutes, Tony came back and explained. "We"re going to stay here for the night and then head out really early in the morning to reach the fourth and final waypoint. That okay with you?"
I shrugged. I could care less.
"Do you think you can get the trees to protect us tonight so we can all sleep? I think Finn especially needs it."
"Probably."
"If you can"t do it, no one will mind. We understand, just tell us if you can"t."
I got angry. "Fine! I can do it! Just leave me the h.e.l.l alone!"
"Uh, that"ll be a no on that," said Tony, sitting down next to me again.
"I"m serious, Tony. Get the f.u.c.k away from me." I wasn"t in the mood for his niceness or for his forgiveness.
"So you can sit here all alone and feel sorry for yourself? Nope, I don"t think so."
I caught Spike and Chase stealing glances over at us, which only made me madder. I felt angry tears well up in my eyes. "Screw you, Tony. I"m not feeling sorry for myself."
"What do you call it then?"
I shoved him away.
He tipped over on his side but then sat back up. "You"re gonna have to do better than that," he said matter of factly.
I started to boil up inside and a message of bad intent starting forming in my mind. I could picture The Green tying Tony up and hanging him upside down from a tree branch.
"Ah, ah, ahhhh," Tony scolded me, wagging his finger back and forth like a mother to a child. "No fair using your powers for evil. Superheroes can only use their powers for good; you know that. It"s Good Guy Rule Number One."
The evil image dissipated out of my mind as quickly as it had appeared. "I"m not a f.u.c.king superhero, you a-hole."
"I beg to differ," said Tony quietly. "Without you, we would all be dead right now."
The tears started coming down my cheeks then; my throat closed up making it hard to talk or even breathe. "What about Becky?" I said hoa.r.s.ely. "I didn"t save her, and I could have. I could have, Tony, but I didn"t!"
Tony threw his arms around me, pulling me close.
I let him do it because I just didn"t have the strength to fight him off anymore. The leaves started raining down again.
"Shhhh, shhhhh ... I know you"re upset a devastated; but you have to know this was not your fault. You did not put Becky in that water, and you did not make her walk in too deep. That was the Lady in the Lake and no one else. You may have a connection to the green things in this forest, but you cannot read minds, and you cannot tell the future. Stop blaming yourself ... it"s actually kind of arrogant, if you think about it."
I pulled back away from him, looking him fiercely in the face. "Arrogant? Are you f.u.c.king kidding me?"
"No, I"m serious. Do you really think you"re so amazing that you can save everyone from everything? Please. None of us can do that. We have to work together as a team. We knew that on day one. It was your dumb idea in the first place, remember?"
I huffed out a p.i.s.sed-off breath of air, but he did have a point. I am awesome, but on the other hand, I do suck at lots of things a shooting a bow and arrow for one. That brought my mind around to the guy who could shoot a bow and arrow, Robin Hood or whoever that guy was who materialized out of nowhere and sank that soggy b.i.t.c.h in the lake; and Finn a also a good shot.
I wiped my face off with my sleeve for the umpteenth time and tried to clear my gooey throat. "A-hem ... so, what? ... Is this your tough love speech?"
"Yeah. How am I doing?"
"Too f.u.c.king good," I said, letting out a half laugh, half sob.
Tony put his arms around me again, squeezing really hard. "We"re gonna get through this, you"ll see. Just hold it together for a little while longer."
I nodded my head into his shoulder. I was going to hold it together for just a while longer, alright a until I saw Dardennes again. Then I was going to unleash on his sorry a.s.s. He was never going to know what hit him.
We went to sleep that night with a powerful, and I hoped, very clear request for protection sent out to The Green. My dreams were filled with Becky looking at me, her face full of desperation as the water rose up over her head. I know I called out to her in my sleep because at some point in the night I remember Tony shushing me and then lying down to sleep right next to me.
I woke up the next morning once again covered in leaves. I was super warm because I had not only Tony next to me, but also at some point Spike had come and joined the party; I was sandwiched between the two of them. On another day in another place, this might have been very, very interesting, but not today.
Once I realized where I was, I sat up quickly. I couldn"t help but let a tiny piece of me wish Becky would be there in a pile of wet clothes sleeping at my feet. But she wasn"t. I didn"t even want to think of her spending the rest of eternity in the depths of that miserable lake.
I stood up and started doing jumping jacks to clear my mind of those horrible images. Then I searched around desperately for a semi-private spot to do my business.