"Why," I stammered, "are you going to warn me not to care for him, because he doesn"t care for me? How _dreadful_!"
Nell"s cousin Robert looked so pale, I was afraid he must be ill. He put up his hand and pushed his hair back from his forehead, and then began pacing about the room.
"Rudolph _must_ care--he _shall_ care, if you wish it," he said.
"Oh," I exclaimed, "I didn"t mean it was dreadful if he didn"t care; but if you thought _I_ did."
He stopped walking and took one big step that brought him to me.
"You do not?"
"Of course not," said I; "not in _that_ way."
Mr. van Buren caught both my hands, and pressed them so tightly, that I couldn"t help giving a tiny squeak.
"Ah, I have hurt you!" he cried, and a strange expression came into his eyes. At least, it was strange that it should be for me, instead of Freule Menela, for it was almost--but no, I must have been mistaken, of course, in thinking it was like that. Anyway, it was a thrilling expression, and made my heart beat as fast as if I were frightened, though I think that wasn"t exactly the feeling. I couldn"t take my eyes away from his for a minute. We looked straight at each other; then, as if he couldn"t resist, he kissed my hands one after the other--not with polite little Dutch kisses, but eager and desperate. As he did it, he gave a kind of groan, and before I could speak he muttered, "Forgive me!" as he rushed out of the room.
He must have almost run against Mr. Starr, for the next instant the "Mariner" (as Jonkheer Brederode calls him) came in, dripping wet.
There was I, all pink and trembling, and my voice did sound odd as I quavered out, "Where"s Nell?"
"Gone to her room," said Mr. Starr, looking hard at me with his brilliant, whimsical eyes. "I was to tell you----"
With that, I burst into tears.
"Good gracious, poor angel! What is the matter?" he exclaimed, coming closer.
"I don"t know," I sobbed. "But I"m not an angel. I do believe I"m a very--_wicked_ girl."
"You, wicked? Why?"
"Because--I"ve got feelings I oughtn"t to have."
"And that"s why you"re crying?"
"I"m not sure. But I just--can"t help it."
"I wish I could do something," said he, quite miserably; and I could smell the wet serge of his sopping coat, though I couldn"t see him, for my hands were over my eyes. I was ashamed of myself, but not as much ashamed as I would have been with any one else, because of the feeling I have that Mr. Starr would be so wonderfully nice and sympathetic to confide in. Not that I have anything to confide.
"Thank you, but you couldn"t. n.o.body could," I moaned.
"Not even Miss Van Buren?"
"Not now. It"s too sad. Something seems to have come between us; I don"t know what."
"Maybe that"s making you cry?"
"No, I don"t think so. Oh, I"m _so_ unhappy!"
"You poor little dove! You don"t mind my calling you that, do you?"
I shook my head. "No, it comforts me. It"s so soothing after--after----"
"After what? Has anybody been beast enough----"
"n.o.body"s been a beast," I hurried to break in, "except, perhaps, _me_."
"Do tell me what"s troubling you," he begged, and pulled my hands down from my face, not in the way Mr. van Buren had caught them, but very gently. I let him lead me to a sofa and dry my eyes with his handkerchief, because it seemed exactly like having a brother. It was just as nice to be sympathized with by him as I had often imagined it would be, and I liked it so much that I selfishly forgot he was soaked with rain, and ought to get out of his wet clothes.
"If I knew I would tell you," I said.
"You"re worried about Alb--I mean Brederode?"
"Oh, now I _know_ I"m a beast! I"d forgotten to ask about him, or the boats."
"You"d forgotten--by Jove! No, nothing heard or seen yet. I made Miss Van Buren come back at last. Had to say I was afraid of catching cold or she"d be there now. But see here, as it isn"t Alb"s fate that"s bothering you, may I make a guess?"
"Yes, because you never could guess," said I.
"Is it--anything about van Buren?"
My face felt as if it was on fire. "Why, what _should_ it be?" I asked.
"It might be, for instance, that you"re sorry for him because he"s engaged to a brute of a girl who"s sure to make him miserable. You"ve got such a tender heart."
"You"re partly right," I confessed. "Not that he"s been complaining. He wouldn"t do such a thing."
"No, of course not," said Mr. Starr.
"It"s wonderful how that should have come into your mind," I said.
"Please don"t think me stupid to cry, but suddenly it came over me--such agonizing pity for him. I can"t think he loves her."
"I"m sure he doesn"t. I always wondered how he could, but to-night I saw that his engagement was making him wretched."
"You _saw_ that?"
"Yes."
"You"re so sympathetic," I couldn"t help saying.
"Am I?"
"Yes. Do you know, I feel almost as if you were my brother?"
"Oh, that settles it! It"s all up with me."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Whichever way I look I find nothing but sisters. I"ve had to promise myself to be a brother to Miss Van Buren, too, to-night."