Now, it is the next day but one after this episode, and we are at Utrecht, after having visited an old "kastel" or two more in the neighborhood of Arnhem, and then following the Rhine where it winds among fields like a wide, twisted ribbon of silver worked into a fabric of green brocade. Its high waves, roughened by huge side-wheel steamers, spilt us into the Lek; and so, past queer little ferries and a great crowded lock or two, where Alb used his Club flag, we came straight to the fine old city of which one hears and knows more, somehow, than of any other in Holland.
I planned to do a little painting here; but, after all, I don"t seem to take as much interest in composing pictures as in trying to puzzle out the meanings of several things.
I suppose a man never can hope to understand women; but even a woman sometimes fails to understand another woman. For instance, goaded by unsatisfied curiosity to know, not only my own fate, but everybody else"s fate, all round, I was tempted to take advantage of nephewhood, and put the case, as I saw it, to the L.C.P.
I ventured to tell her what I overheard between the girls on their balcony.
"Now, you must know," I said, "that I"m in love with Phyllis."
"I thought it was Nell," said she.
"So did I, for a while; but I"ve discovered that it"s Phyllis. And I shall be very much obliged to you if you can tell me something. In fact, if you _can_, your dear nephew Ronny will present his aunt with a diamond ring."
"You mean if I tell you what you want to hear."
"No. It must be what you honestly think."
"I don"t want a diamond ring," said she, which surprised me extremely.
It was the first time anything worth having has been mentioned which she did not want, and, usually, ask for.
"A pearl one, then," I suggested in my astonishment.
"I don"t want a pearl one--or any other one, so you can save yourself the trouble of working through a long list," replied the lady who is engaged to be my obliging relative. "But go on, and ask what you were going to ask. Anything I can do for you, as an aunt, I will. I am paid for it."
This grew "curioser and curioser," as Alice had occasion to remark in her adventures. But having embarked upon my narrative, I went on----
"Whom do you think Phyllis meant when she spoke of trying to learn to love a man who seemed to love her? Was it Alb, or----"
"Mr. Robert van Buren, perhaps you were going to say," cut in the L.C.P.
"No, I don"t mean him," I answered hurriedly. "Modesty forbids me to mention the name in my mind."
"But it was given to you by your sponsors in baptism. Will it make you very unhappy if I say I don"t think that _was_ the name in her mind?"
"I shall have to bear it," I said. "But, of course, I shall be unhappy."
"We all seem to be unhappy lately," remarked the L.C.P.
"Except you."
"Yes, except me, of course," she responded. "Why should I be unhappy?
Tibe loves me."
"You don"t deserve it; but so do we all," said I.
She brightened.
"You are harmful, but necessary," I went on. "We are used to you. We have even acquired a taste for you, I don"t know why, or how. But you have an uncanny, unauntlike fascination of your own, which we all feel.
At times it is even akin to pain."
"Oh well, the pain will soon be over," said she. "We"re at Utrecht now.
Soon we"ll be going to Zeeland, from Zeeland back to Rotterdam; and that"s the end of the trip--and my engagement. It will be "good-by"
then."
"I feel now as if it would be good-by to everything," I sighed. "I never nursed a fond gazelle----"
"You tried to nurse two," said she. "You"re like the dog who dropped the substance for the shadow."
"Which is which, please?--though to specify would perhaps be ungallant to both. Besides, I haven"t dropped either of them. If Phyllis is lost to me, I may still be able to fall back on Nell, whom n.o.body else seems to claim at present."
"Oh, don"t they?" murmured the L.C.P.
"Do they?"
"She may have left dozens of adorers at home, to pick up again when she goes back. She"s a beautiful girl," said her chaperon.
"Radiantly so, and I used to think also possessed of a beautiful disposition. But since she flew out at poor little Phyllis, who was asking for advice and comfort, and cried, "I hate you, Phil--" Now, you"re a woman. What had Phyllis said to put her in a rage?"
The L.C.P. laughed. "Enough to put a saint in a rage," said she. "And Nell isn"t a saint. But they"ve been more devoted to each other than ever, since, so she must have repented and apologized, and been forgiven, before the moon went down. Oh, you poor puzzled creature! I wouldn"t be a _man_ for anything!"
And that was all the satisfaction I could get from her. I remain as much in the dark as ever. But Robert van Buren, his sisters, and his fiancee are arriving immediately, and perhaps I may get enlightenment during the visit. I ought to have some reward, since it is through me that the Viking is coming with the females of his kind, at this particular time.
In a moment of quixotic generosity at Enkhuisen, I promised Phyllis, as a newly adopted, if reluctant, brother, that I would make everything right for her. Afterwards, I was inclined to repent of the plan which had sprung, Minerva-like full-grown and helmeted, from my suffering brain. But it was too late then. I had to keep my word, for I was sure that, deep down in her mind, Phyllis was expecting me to perform some miracle.
Rather than disappoint her--and lower my self-esteem--I had a talk with Robert the day he was leaving. Not an intimate talk, for we aren"t on those terms; but I managed to get out of him that he was parting from us before he had intended because of a letter from the fiancee.
"Young ladies are a little exacting when they are engaged, I suppose,"
said the poor fellow. "They feel they have more right than others to a man"s society."
Then it was that I asked why he didn"t bring Freule Menela, chaperoned by the twins, to Utrecht instead of waiting until we had got as far as Zeeland, which the fiancee might think too long a journey with such an object in view. He said that he would ask her.
"Don"t seem too anxious," said I, airily. "And don"t tell her you want her to be better acquainted with your cousin and step-cousin. Just remark that it will be a jolly excursion, eh? And you might add that Brederode and I--particularly I--are awfully keen on seeing her."
"Very well, I will give that message," said he. And I think he probably did give it, or something like it; for Nell had a telegram from him, while we were still doddering about in Friesland, asking if he might bring the ladies on a visit to Utrecht.
Now, it is "up to me" to carry out that plan made on the impulse of an unselfish moment.
Moral: do not have unselfish moments.
XXIX
I believe that, in the dark ages, I was rather a good little boy. I used often to tell the truth, and the whole truth, even when most inconvenient to my pastors and masters. I gave pennies to the poor, unless I very much wanted them myself; I said "Now--I--Lay--Me," every night, and also in the morning till advised that it was inappropriate; and I sang in a boy"s choir, so beautifully and with such a soulful expression in my eyes, that people used to pat my curls, and fear that I was destined to die young.
In those days, or even until a few weeks ago no one who looked at me would have believed me capable of plotting against young and innocent girls, annexing aunts on the hire system, or deluding uncles-in-law with misleading statements. Yet these things I have done, and worse; for I have kept my word to Phyllis Rivers.