What on earth was a poor, distracted loafer to say? I could not deal with Jesus, for I saw that Teddy did not understand goodness. He knew that I was kind, and he liked to kiss my hand slily, and rub his cheek on my knee; but abstract goodness and gentle words like those of Jesus did not appeal to him. I was satisfied to have a queer creature that followed me like a dog, and I am afraid that if he had lived I should have made him a kind of heathen; but the luck was against me. Teddy"s father came on a Sunday morning, and said, "If you don"t mind, his mother"d like to "ave him along to dinner to-morrow. We got a bit o"
pork and a horrange spesshal for him." So Teddy went home when the ditch was in worse order than usual. He had been kept amid good air, and he was clean--I washed him myself--and I fancy that the stenches poisoned him simply because he could not become acclimatised to the alley again.
Anyway, he was heavy and listless when he came back, and in two days I had to send for his father and mother. I am not going into any pathetic details, for that is not my line. Night after night I walked the floor with the youngster, and when the doctor said I should catch diphtheria if I kissed him, I said I didn"t care a d.a.m.n, for I was wild. Then my boy went away.
One night I was walking about the park in mad fashion while a hoa.r.s.e gale roused a deep chorus among the trees. I could have sworn that my lad called to me. Then I went back and dropped into The Chequers. The Ramper said, "Wot cher, yer old bugaboo?" The Wanderer shouted, "Now let the trumpet to the kettle speak; the kettle to the cannoneer without. He comes! He comes!"
And I went home and stayed till dawn with the Wanderer. That is the way we live.
THE WANDERER AGAIN.
Several racing men have warned me against the Wanderer, in their peculiarly friendly way. They want me to bet with _them_. But I like the Bohemian, the blackleg, better than I do better men. Moreover, though I am carefully informed that he is a blackleg, I find him honest. His story has long been hanging in my mind, and we may as well take it at once.
Devine"s runaway match turned out well for a time. When old Mr. Billiter came home and heard what had happened he fell in a fit, and, on his recovery, he went about for a long time moaning, "We"ll never hold up our heads no more." His friends thought he would lose his reason, for he would stop people in the street, and say, "Have you a daughter? Kill her, if you care for her. Mine"s gone off with a hactor." But the young couple were happy enough in reality, and Devine took the fancy of the New Yorkers to such a degree that his engagement was extended over three years. Letty Devine led a gay, careless life; her husband had plenty of money, and she was introduced to pleasures that made the frowsy life of home seem very repulsive. Devine was kind to her, and continued to play the lover in his pompous style. She was proud of her man, too. He played Claude Melnotte for his benefit once, and she longed to say to the ladies in the theatre, "He belongs to me. How could she help being fascinated with him? Where could you find such another princely being?"
She felt a lump in her throat when the great house rose at her William, and the more so since she knew that her praise was more to him than all the clamour of the theatre. Devine had begun by fortune-hunting, and ended by loving his wife, though she did not bring him a penny.
Those were merry days in New York. Champagne was plentiful as water, and William Devine often came home in a very lively condition, but his wife did not mind, for she thought that a man must have his gla.s.s. Women of the lower and middle cla.s.ses have a great deal to do with supplying customers to the public-house. Some of them drive their men there by nagging, but more of them lead a man on to drink by sheer indulgence.
They encourage him to enjoy himself without thinking of the day when enjoyment will be impossible, and when they and their children will reach the lowermost rung of the ladder of shame and penury. The Wanderer went merrily on his way, but his vice was steadily gaining on him, and his nerve was going. He took a long engagement for an Australian tour, and carried on very loosely all the while; but Letty saw no change.
Women never do until the very worst has happened. When Devine came to England he was eagerly looked after, and he should have fared well. For a time he had engagements and money in plenty, but a subtle change was taking place in him, and managers and audiences saw it, though they could not say precisely where the deterioration had taken place.
There is a certain sporting set of theatrical men who are very dangerous companions. Their daily work is exciting, and when they want change they often gamble, because that is the only form of excitement which is keener than the stir and tumult of the theatre. When Devine won three hundred pounds on one Derby he was a lost man. He pitted his wits against the bookmakers"; he took to loafing about with those flash, cunning fellows who appear to spend their mornings in bars and their evenings in music-halls; he lost his ambition, and he began to lead a double life. In the end he took to presenting himself at the theatre in various stages of drunkenness, and on one unlucky night he practically settled his own fate by falling down on the stage after he had blundered over his lines a dozen times. The public saw little of him after that, for he had not the power of Kean, or Cooke, or Brooke.
They all go the same way when they slip as Devine did. You can meet them on the roads, in common lodging-houses, in the workhouse. The residuum is constantly recruited from the "comfortable" cla.s.ses, and, out of thousands of cases, I never knew half-a-dozen in which the cause was not drink. I blame n.o.body. A drunkard is always selfish--the most selfish of created beings--and his flashes of generosity are symptoms of disease.
If he lives to be cured of his vice his selfishness disappears, and he is another man; but so long as he is mastered by the craving, all things on earth are blotted out for him saving his own miserable personality.
So far does the disease of egotism go, that it is impossible to find a drunkard who can so much as listen to another person; he is inexorably impelled to utter forth _his_ views with more or less incoherence.
Devine, the tender husband, the kind father, became a mere slinker, a haunter of tap-rooms, a weed. Sometimes he was lucky enough to win a pound or two on a race, and that was his only means of support. The children were ragged; Letty tried to live on tea and bread, but the lack of food soon brought her low, and from sheer weakness she became a pitiful slattern.
Mr. Billiter was informed that a woman "like a beggar" wanted to see him particularly. He was about to order her off at first, but he finished by going to the door, and the beggar-woman went on her knees to him. He trembled; then he fairly lifted the poor soul up in his arms and sobbed hard. "My gal, my pooty as was. My little gal. To think as you never come before you was like this. I"ve bin dead since you was away. My "art was dead, my little gal. And you"re goin" away no more, never no more, with no hactors. Sit down. Give me that shawl. Lord bless me, it"s a dish clout! And your neck"s like a chicken"s, and your b.r.e.a.s.t.s is all flat, as was round as could be. O me!"
But the good fellow"s moanings soon fell on deaf ears, for Letty fainted. When she came round, the servants fed her, and she began to cry for the children. "Children if you like, but never him," said Billiter; and he at once drove off to bring his darling"s ragged little ones home.
Devine was snoring on the floor when the old tradesman entered the lodging. There was no fire, no furniture, no food, and the half-naked children were huddled together for warmth. The youngest two screamed when a rough man came in, for they thought it was the brokers once more.
Billiter sent the eldest out for a candle, which he stuck in an empty gin-bottle. He looked at the snoring drunkard, and gave him a contemptuous push with his foot; but the one little boy screamed, "You not touch my dada, you bad man!" and the old fellow was instantly ashamed. He said, "Now, my little dears, I want you to come to your mamma. She sent me for you. We"ll all go away in a warm carriage, and you"ll have something warm and nice to eat. Put the youngsters" clothes on, my gal."
"We"ve none of us got any clothes, sir."
"My G.o.d! Here, you sir--wake up. Sit against the wall. Do you see me?
I"ve got your wife at home, and I"m going to take these kids. You"ll hear from me to-morrow."
"Devine finally woke just before the public-houses closed. He staggered out, and, after his first drink, the memory of what had pa.s.sed flashed back on him. He felt in his pockets. Yes! He had some money--a good deal as it happened, for he had put five shillings on a horse at 33 to 1.
"Pull yourself together, Billy," he muttered. "You must have a warm bed to-night, and face it out to-morrow. One more drink, and I"ll have my bed here."
In the morning he felt wretched, but when he had regained his nerve by the usual method he acted like a man. First he wrote a letter to his wife. (I saw the yellow old copy of it.)
"Dearest,--I had a bit of luck yesterday, and took too much on the strength of it. I was carried home from this house, and I could not speak to Lily or any of them. I deserve to lose you, and I will never ask you to come back unless there is no fear of more misery. But this I will do. I intend to maintain my own children, if I go and sell matches.
I won eight pounds odd yesterday. I squandered one pound, I keep two to make a fresh start, and you have the rest. While this heart shall beat--yes, while memory holds her seat, as the poet says, you are dear to me. Once more, in the poet"s words, I grapple you to my soul with hoops of steel. What has come over me I do not know, and when I wake to the fact of my degradation I go madly to the drink again. But I will try, and I implore your forgiveness. I cannot hope to see you often, and it is better that I should not, for I am worthless. But think of me, and, if I fall again and again, believe me that I shall go on striving to do better.--Until death, I am your loving, W. DEVINE."
"We don"t want none of his "oss-racin" money. Send it back, my gal,"
growled old Billiter when he saw this letter. But the poor woman would not hurt her husband.
Devine found all respectable employments closed to him, and he was often in desperate straits; but he would always contrive to send something, if it were only a half-crown, toward the support of his children. When he reached the Nadir of shabbiness, he touted in Piccadilly among the cabs, and picked up a few coppers in that way. For days he could abstain from drink, but that curse never left him, and he broke down again and again, only to repent and strive more fervently than ever. Alas! how weak we are. Surely we should help each other. I am often tempted to forget there is evil in the world. There are moments when I can almost pardon myself, but that is too hard. Devine said he could not see Letty often.
He only saw her once more. She was ailing and weakly, and one day she put her arms round her father"s neck, and whispered to him. He started, and growled, "All right, my gal; I deny you nothin". Only I"ll go out of the "ouse before he comes."
So William Devine was summoned, and he found his wife propped up in bed.
Her hands were frail, and the bones of her arms stood out sharply. The man was choking, Letty made an effort, lifted her arms, and drew him down to her with an ineffable gesture of tenderness. "Oh, Will, I"m glad you"ve come. How happy we were--how happy! I forget everything but that." Devine could not speak for a while. Letty said:
"You"ll always be near the children, won"t you?"
"So help me G.o.d! I"ll give up my life to them."
Then the doctor came, and the Wanderer saw his stricken wife no more.
Devine bore many hardships before he was able to claim his children, and even when he had rigged up a house fit to shelter them he was vigorously opposed by old Billiter. But he got his own way, and Letty"s children joined their father.
And now I must speak of a strange thing. The room which the Wanderer occupies is bare of every comfort. When we sit together we rest our gla.s.ses on the mantelpiece (for there is no table), and our feet are on the boards. But one night Devine said, "Come up and see my pets in bed." The young people were disposed in two absolutely comfortable rooms. Everything was neat and clean, and there were signs even of luxury. "How is this? Squalor below, comfort here," I thought. A little girl who was awake said, "Kiss me, papa, dear." Her nightgown was white and pretty. All the clothes that lay around were good. "Now, see the children"s room," said my seedy host. "They live _there_." And, behold!
a perfectly comfortable place, fitted up with strong, good furniture.
When we went down, the Wanderer helped himself from my flask. Then, with majesty, he observed, "You marvel to see me so shabby? Sir, you must know that I wear my clothes till they are falling to pieces. I deny myself everything but the booze, and I never start on that till I"ve handed my daughter--bless her!--the best part of the money. I made a promise to a saint, sir. I couldn"t drop the liquor. It"s my master, so I fight as long as I can and get better as soon as possible after it"s over. I"m wrong to give way and spend money on it. I can"t help myself.
But I give all but my drink-money to them. Sir, I am content to meet the scoffs of respectability; I think only of my children in my sober moments. On the racecourse I"m a gambler, I"m a blackleg (if you believe all you hear); but when the horses are pa.s.sing the post and all the people are mad, I am quite quiet. I pray sir, to win; but I only pray because my children"s faces are before me. Yes, sir, take away the drink and give me a chance of honest work and I might nearly be a good man."
The fellow"s face grew almost youthful as he spouted, and I thought, "That little girl upstairs is very young. Her father is not an old man after all." Old he looks--battered, scared, frail; but he has a young heart. What a compound! The more I meditate, the more I am convinced that we shall have to invent a new morality. The standards whereby we judge men are far too rigid. Who shall say that Devine is bad? He is a victim to the disease of alcoholism, and his disease brings with it fits of selfishness. But there is another Devine--the real man--who is neither diseased nor selfish; and both are labelled as disreputable.
When next I see poor Billy on the floor after his yelling fit I shall think of him in a friendly way. More than ever I am convinced by his fate that all the high-flying legislation, all the preaching of morality, all pulpit abstractions count for nothing. The best men must try by strenuous individual exertions to combat the subtle curse which has converted the good, generous Billy Devine into a mean debauche. I am out of it. I smoke with Billy, I clink gla.s.ses with Billy, I laugh at Billy"s declamations, and I am often muddled when I leave Billy in the morning. He ill.u.s.trates sordidly a chapter of England"s history. I wish he didn"t.
THE ROBBERY.
I was robbed last night, and it served me right for being a fool. A seedy, down-looking man hangs about The Chequers all day, and he never does any work except stick up the pins in the skittle alley. He has a sly, secret look, and I fancy he is one of the stupid cla.s.s of criminals. We often talk together, but there is not much to be got out of him; he usually keeps his eye on someone else"s pewter, and he is catholic in his taste for drinks. Of late he has been accompanied by three other persons--a stout, slatternly woman, whom he named as his wife; a rather pretty, snub-nosed girl, who dresses in tawdry prints; and a red-faced, thick-set, dark fellow, who grins perpetually and shows a nice set of teeth. The elder man confidentially informed me that the stout young man was his son-in-law.
We had been a long time acquainted before I learned anything definite about these four. The girl usually arrives about half-past ten; she spends money freely, and the four always take home a huge can of beer.
Some while ago the young man--Blackey he is nicknamed--went out, and I followed him quietly. He had been affable with me all the evening, and went so far as to offer me a drink. It struck me that he was indirectly trying to pump me, for he said, "You don"t talk like none of us. I reckon you"ve been on the road." Moreover, when we met he had saluted me thus, "Sarishan Pala. Kushto Bak," and this salutation happens to be Rommany. As we pursued our talk, he inquired, "You rakker Rommanis?"
(You speak the gipsy tongue?) and I answered, "Avo." I could see that he wanted to establish some bond of communication between us, and that was why I followed him. As I quietly came up behind him he said, "That"s tacho like my dad. I d.i.c.ked a bar and a pash-crooner." (That"s as true as can be. I saw a sovereign and a half-crown.) He was not comfortable when he saw me, and I knew I had been a fool to let him know that I spoke Rommany. However, I pa.s.sed on as if I had not heard a word. The fellow had no doubt been told that I was a tramp, and he put a feeler to find out whether I knew the language of the road. Next day we met very early. I had stayed out all night with some poachers, and I was in The Chequers by half-past seven in the morning. Master Blackey was there also, and we exchanged greetings. He was blotchy and his eyes seemed heavy; moreover, he was without a drink, and I correctly guessed that he had no money. My evil genius prompted me to ask for brandy-and-soda, which was the last thing I should have done, and Blackey said, "Us blokes can"t go for sixpenny drinks. Let me "ave a drappie levinor." The gipsy word for ale was quietly dropped in, and I ordered the right stuff as if nothing unusual had been said. Then it flashed on me. "This beauty has heard of me from the Suffolk gipsies; he knows that I carry money sometimes, and he wants to find out if I am really the laulo Rye." (The Surrey Roms call me the Boro Rye; the Suffolk Roms call me laulo Rye.)
For a good while after this the times seemed to be rather bad for the four companions. Several times I saw Blackey mutter savagely when the girl came in, and it was easy to see that he was not a full-blood gipsy, or he would never have threatened to strike her in a public bar. Then it happened that I heard a yell one night as I was stealing around the by-streets after most of the drunken people had gone home. A man"s voice growled harshly--it was like the snarl of a wild beast,--"Three nights you done no good. Blarst yer s...o...b..rin"! you ain"t got no more savvey than a blank blank cow. I"d put a new head on yer for tuppence."
A woman answered, "You"ve struck me, you swine; and if I"ve got a black eye I"ll quod you, sure as I"m yere. Ain"t I lushed you, and fed you, and found your clobber long enough?"
"Garn, you farthin" face! Shet your neck."
"All very fine, Mister Blackey, but how would you like a smack in the bloomin" eye? I done the best as I knew for you, and there ain"t a bloke round as has a judy wot"ll go where I goes and hand over the wongur."
"Never mind, I was waxy when I done it. Maybe we"ll "ave some luck to morrow"."