It was the boy I watched closely as we walked, a st.u.r.dy three-year-old trudging along holding tight to the girl"s hand. I couldn"t have told you the quality nor shade of his skin, nor his hair nor his eyes; I cared only that his head appeared to be a certain shape, that his little body appeared to fit a certain profile, that his limbs appeared to be a certain length in relation to one another. I couldn"t be certain yet, of course: that was why I had maneuvered his father into the generous impulse of inviting me into his home.
They lived down a long dark corridor toward the back of the building, its walls damp with sweat, its air heavy with the odors of cooking, of washing, of mortal life. The door opened a crack as we neared it and then, slowly, opened wide to reveal O"Neil standing there in a blaze of light. The blaze was purely by contrast to our darkness, however; once we"d crossed the threshold, I saw that two kerosene lamps were all the illumination they had.
"There now, didn"t I tell you she"d spot him?" O"Neil cried triumphantly. "Welcome to this house, Jimmy Kelly."
"G.o.d save all here." I removed my hat. "Good evening, Mrs. O"Neil."
"Good evening to you, Mr. Kelly." Mary O"Neil turned from the stove, bouncing a fretful infant against one shoulder. "Would you care for a cup of tea, now?" She was like Ella, if years could be granted Ella to grow tall and slender and wear her hair up like a soft thundercloud. But there was no welcoming smile for me in the gray eyes, for on the previous occasion we"d met I"d been disgracefully intoxicated-at least, doing my best to appear so. I looked down as if abashed.
"I"d bless you for a cup of tea, my dear, I would," I replied. "And won"t you allow me to apologize for the condition I was in last Tuesday week? I"d no excuse at all."
"Least said, soonest mended." She softened somewhat at my obvious sobriety. Setting the baby down to whimper in its apple-box cradle, she poured and served my tea. "Pray seat yourself."
"Here." Ella pulled out a chair for me. I thanked her and sat down to scan the room they lived in. Only one room, with one window that probably looked out on an alley wall but was presently frosted opaque from the steam of the saucepan wherein their supper cooked. Indeed, there was a fine layer of condensation on everything: it trickled down the walls, it lay in a damp film on the oilcloth cover of the table and the blankets on the bed against the far wall. The unhappy infant"s hair was moist and curling with it.
Had there been any ventilation it had been a pleasant enough room. The table was set with good china, someone"s treasured inheritance, no doubt. The tiny potbellied stove must have been awkward to cook upon, but O"Neil had built a cabinet of slatwood and sheet tin next to it to serve as the rest of a kitchen. The children"s trundle was stored tidily under the parents" bed. Next to the painted washbasin on the trunk, a decorous screen gave privacy to one corner. Slatwood shelves displayed the family"s few valuables: a sewing basket, a music box with a painted scene on its lid, a cheap mirror whose frame was decorated with glued-on seash.e.l.ls, a china dog. On the wall was a painted crucifix with a palm frond stuck behind it.
O"Neil came and sat down across from me.
"You look grand, Jimmy." He thumped his fist on the table approvingly. "Combed your hair, too, didn"t you? That"s the boy. You"ll make a gentleman yet."
"Daddy?" Ella climbed into his lap. "There was a soldier came and gave us this in the street. Will you ever read me what it says? There"s more words than I know, see." She thrust the handbill at him. He took it and held it out before him, blinking at it through the steamy air.
Here I present the printed text he read aloud, without his many pauses as he attempted to decipher it (for he was an intelligent man, but of little education):
CHILDREN!.
Come see the Grand Fairy Extravaganza BABES IN TOYLAND Music by Victor Herbert-Book by Glen MacDonough- Staged by Julian Mitch.e.l.l Ignacio Martinetti and 100 Others! Coming by Special Train of Eight Cars!
Biggest Musical Production San Francisco Has Seen in Years!
AN INVITATION FROM MOTHER GOOSE HERSELF:.
MY dear little Boys and Girls, I DO hope you will behave nicely so that your Mammas and Papas will treat you to a performance of Mr. Herbert"s lovely play Babes in Toyland at the Columbia Theater, opening Monday, the 16th of April. Why, my dears, it"s one of the biggest successes of the season and has already played for ever so many nights in such far-away cities as New York, Chicago, and Boston. Yes, you really must be good little children, and then your dear parents will see that you deserve an outing to visit me. For, make no mistake, I myself, the only true and original MOTHER GOOSE, shall be there upon the stage of the Columbia Theater. And so shall so many of your other friends from my delightful rhymes such as Tom, Tom the Piper"s Son, Bo Peep, Contrary Mary, and Red Riding Hood. The curtain will rise upon Mr. Mitch.e.l.l"s splendid production, with its many novel effects, at eight o"clock sharp.
OF course, if you are very little folks you are apt to be sleepyheads if kept up so late, but that need not concern your careful parents, for there will be a matinee on Sat.u.r.day at two o"clock in the afternoon.
WON"T you please come to see me?
Your affectionate friend, Mother Goose.
"O, dear," sighed Mary.
"Daddy, can we go?" Ella"s eyes were alight with antic.i.p.ation. Donal chimed in: "See Mother Goose, Daddy!"
"We can"t afford it, children," Mary said firmly. She took the saucepan off the stove and began to ladle a savory dish of sausage, onions, potatoes, and bacon onto the plates. "We"ve got a roof over our heads and food for the table. Let"s be thankful for that."
Ella closed her little mouth tight like her mother"s, but Donal burst into tears. "I wanna go see Mother Goose!" he howled.
O"Neil groaned. "Your mother is right, Donal. Daddy and Mummy don"t have the money for the tickets, can you understand that?"
"You oughtn"t to have read out that bill," said Mary in a quiet voice.
"I want go see the soldier!"
"Donal, hush now!"
"Donal"s the boy for me," I said, leaning forward and reaching out to him. "Look, Donal Og, what"s this you"ve got in your ear?"
I pretended to pull forth a bar of Ghirardelli"s. Ella clapped her hands to her mouth. Donal stopped crying and stared at me with perfectly round eyes.
"Look at that! Would you ever have thought such a little fellow"d have such big things in his ears? Come sit with your uncle Jimmy, Donal." I drew him onto my lap. "And if you hush your noise, perhaps Mummy and Daddyll let you have sweeties, eh?" I set the candy in the midst of the oilcloth, well out of his reach.
"Bless you, Jimmy," said O"Neil.
"Well, and isn"t it the least I can do? Didn"t know I could work magic, did you, Ella?"
"Settle down, now." Mary set out the dishes. "Frank, it"s time to say grace."
O"Neil made the sign of the Cross and intoned, with the little ones mumbling along, "Bless-us-O-Lord-and-these-Thy-gifts-which-we-are-about-to-receive-from-Thy-bounty-through-Christ-Our-Lord-Amen."
Mary sat down with us, unfolding her threadbare napkin. "Donal, come sit with Mummy."
"Be easy, Mrs. O"Neil, I don"t mind him." I smiled at her. "I"ve a little brother at home he"s the very image of. Where"s his spoon? Here, Donal Og, you eat with me."
"I don"t doubt they look alike." O"Neil held out his tumbler as Mary poured from a pitcher of milk. "Look at you and me. Do you know, Mary, that was the first acquaintance we had-? Got our hats mixed up when the wind blew "em both off. We wear just the same size."
"Fancy that."
So we dined, and an affable mortal man helped little Donal make a mess of his potatoes whilst chatting with Mr. and Mrs. O"Neil about such subjects as the dreadful expense of living in San Francisco and their plans to remove to a cheaper, less crowded place as soon as they"d saved enough money. The immortal machine that sat at their table was making a thorough examination of Donal, most subtly: an idle caress of his close-cropped little head measured his skull size, concealed devices gauged bone length and density and measured his weight to the pound; data was a.n.a.lyzed and preliminary judgment made: optimal morphology. Augmentation process possible. Cla.s.sification pending blood a.n.a.lysis and spektral diagnosis.
"That"s the best meal I"ve had in this country, Mrs. O"Neil," I told her as we rose from the table.
"How kind of you to say so, Mr. Kelly," she replied, collecting the dishes.
"Chocolate, Daddy?" Donal stretched out his arm for it. O"Neil tore open the waxed paper and broke off a square. He divided it into two and gave one to Donal and one to Ella.
"Now, you must thank your uncle Jimmy, for this is good chocolate and cost him dear."
"Thank you, Uncle Jimmy," they chorused, and Ella added, "But he got it by magic. It came out of Donal"s ear. I saw it."
O"Neil rubbed his face wearily. "No, Ella, it was only a conjuring trick. Remember the talk we had about such things? It was just a trick. Wasn"t it, Jimmy?"
"That"s all it was, sure," I agreed. She looked from her father to me and back.
"Frank, dear, will you help me with these?" Mary had stacked the dishes in a washpan and sprinkled soap flakes in.
"Right. Jimmy, will you mind the kids? We"re just taking these down to the tap."
"I will indeed," I said, and thought: Thank you very much, mortal man, for this opportunity. The moment the door closed behind them I had the device out of my pocket. It looked rather like a big old-fashioned watch. I held it out to the boy.
"Here you go, Donal, here"s a grand timepiece for you to play with."
He took it gladly. "There"s a train on it!" he cried. I turned to Ella.
"And what can I do for you, darling?"
She looked at me with considering eyes. "You can read me the funny papers." She pointed to a neatly stacked bundle by the stove.
"With pleasure." I seized them up and we settled back in my chair, pulling a lamp close. The baby slept fitfully, I read to Ella about Sambo and Tommy Pip and Herr Spiegleburger, and all the while Donal pressed b.u.t.tons and thumbed levers on the diagnostic toy. It flashed pretty lights for him, it played little tunes his sister was incapable of hearing; and then, as I had known it would, it bit him.
"Ow!" He dropped it and began to cry, holding out his tiny bleeding finger.
"O, dear, now, what"s that? Did it stick you?" I put his sister down and got up to take the device back. "Tsk! Look at that, the stem"s broken." It vanished into my pocket. "What a shame. O, I"m sorry, Donal Og, here"s the old hankie. Let"s bandage it up, shall we? There. There. Doesn"t hurt now, does it?"
"No," he sniffled. "I want another chocolate."
"And so you"ll have one, for being a brave boy." I snapped off another square and gave it to him. "Ella, let"s give you another as well, shall we? What have you found there?"
"It"s a picture about Mother Goose." She had spread out the Children"s Page on the oilcloth. "Isn"t it? That says Mother Goose right there."
I looked over her shoulder. ""Pictures from Mother Goose,"" I read out, ""Hot Cross Buns. Paint the Seller of Hot Cross Buns." Looks like it"s a contest, darling. They"re asking the kiddies to paint in the picture and send it off to the paper, to judge who"s done the best one."
"Is there prize money?" She had an idea.
"Two dollars for the best one," I read, pulling at my lower lip uneasily. "And paintboxes for everyone else who enters."
She thought that over. Dismay came into her face. "But I haven"t got a paintbox to color it with at all! O, that"s stupid! Giving paintboxes out to kids that"s got them already. O, that"s not fair!" She shook with stifled anger.
"What"s not fair?" Her mother backed through the door, holding it open for O"Neil with the washpan.
"Only this Mother Goose thing here," I said.
"You"re never on about going to that show again, are you?" said Mary sharply, coming and taking her daughter by the shoulders. "Are you? Have you been wheedling at Mr. Kelly?"
"I have not!" the little girl said in a trembling voice.
"She hasn"t, Mrs. O"Neil, only it"s this contest in the kids" paper," I hastened to explain. "You have to have a set of paints to enter it, see."
Mary looked down at the paper. Ella began to cry quietly. Her mother gathered her up and sat with her on the edge of the bed, rocking her back and forth.
"O, I"m so sorry, Ella dear, Mummy"s so sorry. But you see, now, don"t you, the harm in wanting such things? You see how unhappy it"s made you? Look how hard Mummy and Daddy work to feed you and clothe you. Do you know how unhappy it makes us when you want shows and paintboxes and who knows what, and we can"t give them to you? It makes us despair. That"s a Mortal Sin, despair is."
"I want to see the fairies," wept the little girl.
"Dearest dear, there aren"t any fairies! But surely it was the devil himself you met out in the street, that gave you that wicked piece of paper and made you long after vain things. Do you understand me? Do you see why it"s wicked, wanting things? It kills the soul, Ella."
After a long, gasping moment the child responded, "I see, Mummy." She kept her face hidden in her mother"s shoulder. Donal watched them uncertainly, twisting the big knot of handkerchief on his finger. O"Neil sat at the table and put his head in his hands. After a moment he swept up the newspaper and put it in the stove. He reached into the slatwood cabinet and pulled a bottle of Wilson"s Whiskey up on the table, and got a couple of clean tumblers out of the washpan.
"Will you have a dram, Kelly?" he offered.
"Just the one." I sat down beside him.
"Just the one," he agreed.
You must not empathize with them.
When I let myself into my rooms on Bush Street, I checked my messages. A long green column of them pulsed on the credenza screen. Most of it was the promised list from Averill and his fellows; I"d have to pa.s.s that on to our masters as soon as I"d reviewed it. I didn"t feel much like reviewing it just now, however.
There was also a response to my request for another transport for Madame D"Arraignee: DENIED. NO ADDITIONAL VEHICLES AVAILABLE. FIND ALTERNATIVE.
I sighed and sank into my chair. My honor was at stake. From a drawer at the side of the credenza I took another Ghirardelli bar and, scarcely taking the time to tear off the paper, consumed it in a few greedy bites. Waiting for its soothing properties to act, I paged through a copy of the Examiner. There were automobile agencies along Golden Gate Avenue. Perhaps I could afford to purchase one out of my personal operation"s expense account?
But they were shockingly expensive in this city. I couldn"t find one for sale, new or used, for less than a thousand dollars. Why couldn"t her case officer delve into his own pocket to deliver the goods? I verified the balance of my account. No, there certainly wasn"t enough for an automobile in there. However, there was enough to purchase four tickets to Babes in Toyland.
I accessed the proper party and typed in my transaction request.
TIX UNAVAILABLE FOR 041606 EVENT, came the reply. 041706 AVAILABLE OK?
OK, I typed. PLS DEBIT & DELIVER.
DEBITED. TIX INYR BOX AT S MKT ST HQ 600 HRS 041606.
TIBI GRATIAS! I replied, with all sincerity.
DIE DULCE FRUERE. OUT.
Having solved one problem, an easy solution to the other suggested itself to me. It involved a slight inconvenience, it was true: but any gentleman would readily endure worse for a lady"s sake.
My two rooms on Bush Street did not include the luxury of a bath, but the late Mr. Adolph Sutro had provided an alternative pleasure for his fellow citizens.
Just north of Cliff House Mr. Sutro had purchased a rocky little purgatory of a cove, cleaned the shipwrecks out of it and proceeded to sh.o.r.e it up against the more treacherous waves with several thousand barrels of cement. Having constructed not one but six salt.w.a.ter pools of a magnificence to rival old Rome, he had proceeded to enclose it in a crystal palace affair of no less than four acres of gla.s.s.