"But the strange thing is that people go on believing them," said his companion.
"That"s not strange at all. This big, idiotic, amphorous London has no sense of humour. See how industriously it has been engaged for the last month in the n.o.ble art of making a fool of itself!" And then he looked around at John Storm, as if proud of his tall language.
John did not listen. He knew that everybody was talking about him, yet the matter did not seem to concern him now, but to belong to some other existence which his soul had had.
At length an idea came to him and he thought he knew what he ought to do. He ought to go to the Brotherhood and ask to be taken back. But not as a son this time, only as a servant, to scour and scrub to the end of his life. There used to be a man to sweep out the church and ring the church bell--he might be allowed to do menial work like that. He had proved false to his ideal, he had not been able to resist the lures of earthly love, but G.o.d was merciful. He would not utterly reject him.
His self-abas.e.m.e.nt was abject, yet several hours had pa.s.sed before he attempted to carry out this design. It was the time of Evensong when he reached the church, and the brothers were singing their last hymn:
Jesus, lover of my soul, Let me to thy bosom fly.
He stood by the porch and listened. The street was very quiet; hardly anybody was pa.s.sing.
Hide me, O my Saviour hide, Till the storms of life be past.
His heart surged up to his throat, and he could scarcely bear the pain of it. Yes, yes, yes! Other refuge had he none!
Suddenly a new thought smote him, and he felt like a man roused from a deep sleep. Glory! He had been thinking only of his own soul and his soul"s salvation, and had forgotten his duty to others. He had his duty to Glory above all others and lie could not and must not escape from it.
He must take his place by her side, and if that included the abandonment of his ideals, so be it! He had been proved unworthy of a life of holiness; he must lower his flag, he must be content to live the life of a man.
But he could not think what he ought to do next, and when night fell he was still wandering aimlessly through the streets. He had turned eastward again, and even in the tumultuous thoroughfares of the Mile End he could not help seeing that something unusual was going on. People in drink were rolling about the streets, and shouting and singing as if it had been a public holiday. "Glad you ain"t in kingdom-come to-night, old gal!" "Well, what do _you_ think?"
At twelve o"clock he went into a lodging-house and asked if he could have a bed. The keeper was in the kitchen talking with two men who were cooking a herring for their supper, and he looked up at his visitor in astonishment.
"Can I sleep you, sir? We ain"t got no accommodation for gentlemen----"
and then he stopped, looked more attentively, and said:
"Are you from the Settlement, sir?"
John Storm made some inarticulate reply.
"Thort ye might be, sir. We often "as "em "ere sempling the cawfee, but blessed if they ever wanted to semple a bed afore. Still, if _you_ down"t mind----"
"It will be better than I deserve, my man. Can you give me a cup of coffee before I turn in?"
"With pleasure, sir! Set down, sir! Myke yourself at "ome. Me and my friends were just talkin" of a gentleman of your cloth, sir--the pore feller as "as got into trouble acrost Westminster way."
"Oh, you were talking of him, were you?"
"Sem "ere says the biziness pize."
"It _must_ py, or people wouldn"t do it," said the man leaning over the fire.
"Down"t you believe it. That little gime down"t py. Cause why? Look at the bloomin" stoo the feller"s in now. If they ketch "im "e"ll get six months "ard."
"Then what"s "e been doin" it for? I down"t see nothink in it if it down"t py.".
"Cause he believes in it, thet"s why!--What do you think, sir?"
"I think the man has come by a just fall," said John. "G.o.d will never use him again, having brought him to shame."
"Must hev been a wrong un certingly," said the man over the fire.
When John Storm awoke in his cubicle next morning he saw his way clearer. He would deliver himself up to the warrant that was issued for his arrest, and go through with it to the end. Then he would return to Glory a free man, and G.o.d would find work for him even yet, after this awful lesson to his presumption and pride.
"That feller as was took ter the awspital is dead," said somebody in the kitchen, and then there was the crinkling of a newspaper.
"Is "e?" said another. "The best thing the Father can do is to "ook it then. Cause why? Whether "e done it or not they"ll fix it on ter "im, doncher know!"
John"s head spun round and round. He remembered what Brother Andrew had said of Charlie Wilkes, and his heart, so warm a moment ago, felt benumbed as by frost. Nevertheless, at nine o"clock he was going westward in the Underground. People looked at him when he stepped into the carriage. He thought everybody knew him, and that the world was only playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse. The compartment was full of young clerks smoking pipes and reading newspapers.
"Most extraordinary!" said one of them. "The fellow has disappeared as absolutely as if he had been carried up into a cloud."
"Why extraordinary?" said another in a thin voice. This one was not smoking, and he had the startled eyes of the enthusiast. "Elijah was taken up to heaven in the body, wasn"t he? And why not Father Storm?"
"What?" cried the first, taking his pipe out of his mouth.
"Some people believe that," said the thin voice timidly.
"Oh, you want a dose of medicine, you do," said the first speaker, shaking out his ash and looking round with a knowing air. The young men got out in the City; John went on to Westminster Bridge.
It was terrible. Why could he not take advantage of the popular superst.i.tion and disappear indeed, taking Glory with him! But no, no, no!
Through all the torment of his soul his religion had remained the same, and now it rose up before him like a pillar of cloud and fire. He would do as he had intended, whatever the consequences, and if he was charged with crimes he had not committed, if he was accused of the offences of his followers, he would make no defence; if need be he would allow himself to be convicted, and being innocent in this instance G.o.d would accept his punishment as an atonement for his other sins! Glorious sacrifice! He would make it! He would make it! And Glory herself would be proud of it some day.
With the glow of this resolution upon him he turned into Scotland Yard and stepped boldly up to the office. The officer in charge received him with a deferential bow, but went on talking in a low voice to an inspector of police who was also standing at the other side of a counter.
"Strange?" he was saying. "I thought he was seen getting into the train at Euston."
"Don"t know that he wasn"t either, in spite of all he says."
"Thinking of the dog."
"Well, the dog, too," said the inspector, and then seeing John, "h.e.l.lo!
Who"s here?"
The officer stepped up to the counter. "What can I do for you, sir?" he asked.
John knew that the supreme moment had come, and he felt proud of himself that his resolution did not waver. Lifting his head, he said in a low and rapid voice, "I understand that you have a warrant for the arrest of Father Storm."
"We _had_, sir," the officer answered.
John looked embarra.s.sed. "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that Father Storm is now in custody."
John stared at the man with a feeling of stupefaction. "In custody! Did you say in custody?"
"Precisely! He has just given himself up."