TEDDIE. What is it?
ELIZABETH. I can"t come away with you, Teddie.
TEDDIE. Why not?
ELIZABETH. [_Looking away in embarra.s.sment._] I don"t love you enough.
TEDDIE. Fiddle!
ELIZABETH. [_With a flash of anger._] Don"t say "Fiddle" to me.
TEDDIE. I shall say exactly what I like to you.
ELIZABETH. I won"t be bullied.
TEDDIE. Now look here, Elizabeth, you know perfectly well that I"m in love with you, and I know perfectly well that you"re in love with me.
So what are you talking nonsense for?
ELIZABETH. [_Her voice breaking._] I can"t say it if you"re cross with me.
TEDDIE. [_Smiling very tenderly._] I"m not cross with you, silly.
ELIZABETH. It"s harder still when you"re being rather an owl.
TEDDIE. [_With a chuckle._] Am I mistaken in thinking you"re not very easy to please?
ELIZABETH. Oh, it"s monstrous. I was all wrought up and ready to do anything, and now you"ve thoroughly put me out. I feel like a great big fat balloon that some one has put a long pin into. [_With a sudden look at him._] Have you done it on purpose?
TEDDIE. Upon my soul I don"t know what you"re talking about.
ELIZABETH. I wonder if you"re really much cleverer than I think you are.
TEDDIE. [_Taking her hands and making her sit down._] Now tell me exactly what you want to say. By the way, do you want Lady Kitty and Lord Porteous to be here?
ELIZABETH. Yes.
LADY KITTY. Elizabeth asked us to stay.
TEDDIE. Oh, I don"t mind, bless you. I only thought you might feel rather in the way.
LADY KITTY. [_Frigidly._] A gentlewoman never feels in the way, Mr.
Luton.
TEDDIE. Won"t you call me Teddie? Everybody does, you know.
[_LADY KITTY tries to give him a withering look, but she finds it very difficult to prevent herself from smiling. TEDDIE strokes ELIZABETH"S hands. She draws them away._
ELIZABETH. No, don"t do that. Teddie, it wasn"t true when I said I didn"t love you. Of course I love you. But Arnold loves me, too. I didn"t know how much.
TEDDIE. What has he been saying to you?
ELIZABETH. He"s been very good to me, and so kind. I didn"t know he could be so kind. He offered to let me divorce him.
TEDDIE. That"s very decent of him.
ELIZABETH. But don"t you see, it ties my hands. How can I accept such a sacrifice? I should never forgive myself if I profited by his generosity.
TEDDIE. If another man and I were devilish hungry and there was only one mutton chop between us, and he said, "You eat it," I wouldn"t waste a lot of time arguing. I"d wolf it before he changed his mind.
ELIZABETH. Don"t talk like that. It maddens me. I"m trying to do the right thing.
TEDDIE. You"re not in love with Arnold; you"re in love with me. It"s idiotic to sacrifice your life for a slushy sentiment.
ELIZABETH. After all, I did marry him.
TEDDIE. Well, you made a mistake. A marriage without love is no marriage at all.
ELIZABETH. _I_ made the mistake. Why should he suffer for it? If anyone has to suffer it"s only right that I should.
TEDDIE. What sort of a life do you think it would be with him? When two people are married it"s very difficult for one of them to be unhappy without making the other unhappy too.
ELIZABETH. I can"t take advantage of his generosity.
TEDDIE. I daresay he"ll get a lot of satisfaction out of it.
ELIZABETH. You"re being beastly, Teddie. He was simply wonderful. I never knew he had it in him. He was really n.o.ble.
TEDDIE. You are talking rot, Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH. I wonder if you"d be capable of acting like that.
TEDDIE. Acting like what?
ELIZABETH. What would you do if I were married to you and came and told you I loved somebody else and wanted to leave you?
TEDDIE. You have very pretty blue eyes, Elizabeth. I"d black first one and then the other. And after that we"d see.
ELIZABETH. You d.a.m.ned brute!
TEDDIE. I"ve often thought I wasn"t quite a gentleman. Had it ever struck you?
[_They look at one another for a while._
ELIZABETH. You know, you are taking an unfair advantage of me. I feel as if I came to you quite unsuspectingly and when I wasn"t looking you kicked me on the shins.
TEDDIE. Don"t you think we"d get on rather well together?
PORTEOUS. Elizabeth"s a fool if she don"t stick to her husband. It"s bad enough for the man, but for the woman--it"s d.a.m.nable. I hold no brief for Arnold. He plays bridge like a foot. Saving your presence, Kitty, I think he"s a prig.