[_ARNOLD comes in with a large book in his hand._
ARNOLD. I say, I"ve found the book I was hunting for. Oh! isn"t Lord Porteous here?
LADY KITTY. One moment, Arnold. Your father and I are busy.
ARNOLD. I"m so sorry.
[_He goes out into the garden._
LADY KITTY. Explain yourself, Clive.
C.-C. When you ran away from me, Kitty, I was sore and angry and miserable. But above all I felt a fool.
LADY KITTY. Men are so vain.
C.-C. But I was a student of history, and presently I reflected that I shared my misfortune with very nearly all the greatest men.
LADY KITTY. I"m a great reader myself. It has always struck me as peculiar.
C.-C. The explanation is very simple. Women dislike intelligence, and when they find it in their husbands they revenge themselves on them in the only way they can, by making them--well, what you made me.
LADY KITTY. It"s ingenious. It may be true.
C.-C. I felt I had done my duty by society and I determined to devote the rest of my life to my own entertainment. The House of Commons had always bored me excessively and the scandal of our divorce gave me an opportunity to resign my seat. I have been relieved to find that the country got on perfectly well without me.
LADY KITTY. But has love never entered your life?
C.-C. Tell me frankly, Kitty, don"t you think people make a lot of unnecessary fuss about love?
LADY KITTY. It"s the most wonderful thing in the world.
C.-C. You"re incorrigible. Do you really think it was worth sacrificing so much for?
LADY KITTY. My dear Clive, I don"t mind telling you that if I had my time over again I should be unfaithful to you, but I should not leave you.
C.-C. For some years I was notoriously the prey of a secret sorrow.
But I found so many charming creatures who were anxious to console that in the end it grew rather fatiguing. Out of regard to my health I ceased to frequent the drawing-rooms of Mayfair.
LADY KITTY. And since then?
C.-C. Since then I have allowed myself the luxury of a.s.sisting financially a succession of dear little things, in a somewhat humble sphere, between the ages of twenty and twenty-five.
LADY KITTY. I cannot understand the infatuation of men for young girls. I think they"re so dull.
C.-C. It"s a matter of taste. I love old wine, old friends and old books, but I like young women. On their twenty-fifth birthday I give them a diamond ring and tell them they must no longer waste their youth and beauty on an old fogey like me. We have a most affecting scene, my technique on these occasions is perfect, and then I start all over again.
LADY KITTY. You"re a wicked old man, Clive.
C.-C. That"s what I told you. But, by George! I"m a happy one.
LADY KITTY. There"s only one course open to me now.
C.-C. What is that?
LADY KITTY. [_With a flashing smile._] To go and dress for dinner.
C.-C. Capital. I will follow your example.
[_As LADY KITTY goes out ELIZABETH comes in._
ELIZABETH. Where is Arnold?
C.-C. He"s on the terrace. I"ll call him.
ELIZABETH. Don"t bother.
C.-C. I was just strolling along to my cottage to put on a dinner jacket. [_As he goes out._] Arnold.
[_Exit C.-C._
ARNOLD. Hulloa! [_He comes in._] Oh, Elizabeth, I"ve found an ill.u.s.tration here of a chair which is almost identical with mine. It"s dated 1750. Look!
ELIZABETH. That"s very interesting.
ARNOLD. I want to show it to Porteous. [_Moving a chair which has been misplaced._] You know, it does exasperate me the way people will not leave things alone. I no sooner put a thing in its place than somebody moves it.
ELIZABETH. It must be maddening for you.
ARNOLD. It is. You are the worst offender. I can"t think why you don"t take the pride that I do in the house. After all, it"s one of the show places in the county.
ELIZABETH. I"m afraid you find me very unsatisfactory.
ARNOLD. [_Good-humouredly._] I don"t know about that. But my two subjects are politics and decoration. I should be a perfect fool if I didn"t see that you don"t care two straws about either.
ELIZABETH. We haven"t very much in common, Arnold, have we?
ARNOLD. I don"t think you can blame me for that.
ELIZABETH. I don"t. I blame you for nothing. I have no fault to find with you.
ARNOLD. [_Surprised at her significant tone._] Good gracious me!
what"s the meaning of all this?
ELIZABETH. Well, I don"t think there"s any object in beating about the bush. I want you to let me go.
ARNOLD. Go where?
ELIZABETH. Away. For always.