"Been overdoing it in any way?
"Gone in much for athletics?"
Ranny replied with regret that it was more than three years since he had last run in the Wandsworth Hurdle Race.
He was then told that he must avoid all shock, worry, or excitement. He mustn"t overdo it. He must drop his hurdle-racing. He mustn"t bicycle uphill, or against the wind; he mustn"t jump; he mustn"t run--
"Not even to catch a train?"
"Not to catch anything."
And the doctor gave him a prescription that ran:
/P Sodae Bicarb., one dram.
Tinct. Strophanthi, two drams-- P/
He remembered. That was the stuff he"d measured for old Mr. Beasley"s heart mixture. It was the stuff that Ponting said his father was taking now.
If any one had told him three years ago that his heart was rocky he"d have told them where to go to. It had been as sound as a bell when he entered for the Poly. Gym.
Well, he supposed that was about the finishing touch--if they wanted to do the thing in style.
He went slowly over Wandsworth Bridge and up the High Street, dejected, under the autumn moon that had once watched his glad sprinting.
CHAPTER XXVII
And in all this time he had not heard again from Violet, nor had he written to her.
Then--it was in the first week of November--Violet wrote.
She wrote imploring him to set her free. It was rooted in her, the fear that he would compel her to come back, that he had the power to make her. She wanted (he seemed to see it) to feel safe from him forever.
Leonard had promised to marry her if she were free. She intimated that Leonard was everything that was generous and honorable. She wanted (she who had abused him so for having married her), she wanted to marry Mercier, to have a hold on him and be safe. Marriage was her idea of safety now.
She went on to say that if he would consent to divorce her, it would be made easy for him, she would not defend the suit.
That meant--he puzzled it out--that meant that it would lie between the two of them. n.o.body else would be dragged into it. Winny"s name would not by any possibility be dragged in. Violet would have no use for Winny, since she was not going to defend the suit. She might--at the worst--have to appear as witness, if the evidence of Violet"s letters (her own admission) was not sufficient. It looked as if it would be simple enough. Why should he not release her? He had no business not to give her the chance to marry Mercier, to regulate the relation, if that was what she wanted.
It was his own chance, too, his one chance. He would be a fool not to take it.
And as it came over him in its fullness, all that it meant and would yet mean, Ranny felt his heart thumping and bounding, dangerously, in its weakened state.
On a Wednesday evening in November, he presented himself once more at the Regent Street Polytechnic and at the door of an office where, on Wednesday evenings, an experienced legal adviser held himself in readiness to give advice, that legal adviser who had been the jest of his adolescence, whose services he had not conceived it possible that he should require.
He had a curiously uplifting sense of the gravity and impressiveness of the business upon which at last, inconceivably, he came. But this odd elation was controlled and finally overpowered by disgust and shame, as one by one, under the kind but acute examination of the legal man, he brought out for his inspection the atrocious details. And he had to show Violet"s letter of September, the doc.u.ment, supremely valuable, supremely infamous, supported by the further communication of November.
The keen man asked him, as his uncle and his father-in-law had asked, if he had given any provocation, any cause for jealousy, misunderstanding, or the like? Had his own conduct been irreproachable? When all this part of it was over, settled to the keen man"s satisfaction, Ranny was told that there was little doubt that he could get his divorce if--that was the question--he could afford to pay. Divorce was, yes, it was a costly matter, almost, you might say, the luxury of the rich. A matter, for him, probably of forty or fifty pounds--well, say, thirty, when you"d cut expenses down to the very lowest limit. Could he, the keen but kindly man inquired, afford thirty?
No, he couldn"t. He couldn"t afford twenty even. With all his existing debts upon him he couldn"t now raise ten.
He asked whether he could get his divorce if he put it off a bit until he could afford it?
The legal man looked grave.
"Well--yes. If you can show poverty--"
Ranny thought he could undertake to show _that_ all right.
At the legal man"s suggestion he wrote a letter to his wife a.s.suring her that it was impossible for her to desire a divorce more than he did; that he meant to bring an action at the very moment when he could afford it, pointing out to her that her debts which he had paid had not made this any easier for him; that in the meanwhile she need not be anxious; that he would not follow her or molest her in any way; and that in no circ.u.mstances would he take her back.
And now Ranny"s soul and all his energy were set upon the one aim of raising money for his divorce. It was impossible to lay his hands upon that money all at once. He could not do it this year, nor yet the next, for his expenses and his debts together exceeded the amount of his income; but gradually, by pinching and sc.r.a.ping, it might be done perhaps in two or three years" time.
His chief trouble was that in all these weeks he had seen nothing of Winny. He had called twice at the side door of Johnson"s, but they had told him that she was not in; and, hampered as he was with the children, he had not had time to call again. Besides, he knew he had to be careful, and Winny knew it too. That, of course, would always help him, her perception of the necessity for care. There were ways of managing these things, but they required his mother"s or his friends"
co-operation; and so far Mrs. Ransome had shown no disposition to co-operate. Winny was not likely to present herself at Wandsworth without encouragement, and she had apparently declined to lend herself to any scheme of Maudie"s or of Fred Booty"s. With Winny lying low there was nothing left for him but the way he shrank from, of persistent and unsolicited pursuit.
November pa.s.sed and they were in December, and he had not seen her.
After having recovered somewhat under the influence of the drug strophanthus, he now became depressed, listless, easily fatigued.
Up till now there had been something not altogether disagreeable to Mrs.
Ransome in the misfortunes of her son. They had brought him back to her.
But he had not wanted to come back; and now she wondered whether she had done well to make him come, whether (after all he had gone through) it was not too much for him, realizing as he did his father"s awful state.
It had gone so far, Mr. Ransome"s state, that there was no way in which it could be taken lightly.
And she was depressed herself, perceiving it. Mr. Ransome"s state made him unfit for business now, unfit to appear in the shop, above all unfit for the dispensary. Fit only to crawl from room to room and trouble them with the sad state of his peaked and peevish face. He required watching. He himself recognized that in his handling of tricky drugs there was a danger. The business was getting out of hand. It was small and growing smaller every month, yet it was too much for Mr.
Ponting to cope with una.s.sisted. They were living, all three of them, in a state of tension most fretting to the nerves.
The whole house fairly vibrated with it. It was as if the fearful instability of Mr. Ransome"s nervous system communicated itself to everybody around him. At the cry or the sudden patter of Ranny"s children overhead, Mr. Ransome would be set quivering and shaking, and this disturbance of his reverberated. Ranny set his teeth and sat tight and "stuck it"; but he felt the shattering effect of it all the same.
And the children felt it too, subtly, insidiously. Dossie became peevish, easily frightened; she was neither so good nor so happy with her Granny and the little girl as she had been with Winny. Baby cried oftener. Ranny sometimes would be up half the night with him.
All this Mrs. Ransome saw and grieved over and was powerless to help.
In Christmas week the state of Mr. Ransome became terrible, not to be borne. Ranny was working hard at the counting-house; he was worn out, and he looked it.
The sight of him, so changed, broke Mrs. Ransome down.
"Ranny," she said, "I wish you"d get away somewhere for Christmas. Me and Mabel"ll look after the children. You go."
He said there wasn"t anywhere he cared to go to.
"Well--is there anything you"d like to do?"
"To do?"
"For Christmas, dear. To make it not so sad like. Is there anybody," she said, "you"d like to ask?"
No, there wasn"t. At any rate, if there was he wouldn"t ask them. It wouldn"t be exactly what you"d call fun for them, with the poor old Humming-bird making faces at them all the time.