SYRUS. No! you"re slow.
CHREM. Perhaps so.
SYRUS. Menedemus instantly Will furnish him with money for the wedding, To buy----d"ye take me?
CHREM. Clothes and jewels.
SYRUS. Aye.
CHREM. But I will neither marry, nor betroth My daughter to him.
SYRUS. No? Why?
CHREM. Why!--is that A question? to a wretch!----
SYRUS. Well, as you please.
I never meant that he should marry her, But only to pretend----
CHREM. I hate pretense.
Plot as you please, but do not render me An engine in your rogueries. Shall I Contract my daughter, where I never can Consent to marry her?
SYRUS. I fancied so.
CHREM. Not I.
SYRUS. It might be done most dextrously: And, in obedience to your strict commands, I undertook this business.
CHREM. I believe it.
SYRUS. However, Sir, I meant it well.
CHREM. Nay, nay, Do"t by all means, and spare no trouble in"t; But bring your scheme to bear some other way.
SYRUS. It shall be done: I"ll think upon some other.
--But then the money which I mention"d to you, Owing to Bacchis by Antiphila, Must be repaid her: and you will not now Attempt to shift the matter off; or say, "--What is"t to me? was I the borrower?
Did I command it? Could she pledge my daughter Against my will?"----You can say none of this; For "tis a common saying, and a true, That strictest law is oft the highest wrong.
CHREM. I mean not to evade it.
SYRUS. No, I"ll warrant.
Nay you, though others did, could never think on"t; For all the world imagines you"ve acquir"d A fair and handsome fortune.
CHREM. I will carry The money to her instantly myself.
SYRUS. No; rather send it by your son.
CHREM. Why so!
SYRUS. Because he acts the part of her gallant.
CHREM. What then?
SYRUS. Why then "twill seem more probable, If he presents it: I too shall effect My scheme more easily.--And here he is.---- In, Sir, and fetch the money out.
CHREM. I will. (_Exit CHREMES._
[Changes:
_Harper_ _After which, enter CHREMES._ _Colman 1768_ _Enter CHREMES._
_Harper_ CHREM. You seem to"ve been at work with the old man.
_Colman 1768_ CHREM. You seem to"ve been at work with Menedemus.
_Harper_ He brought her with him hither, to prevent Your smoking it.
CHREM. Incomparable!
SYRUS. Really?
CHREM. O, admirable!
SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
But only hear the rest of our advice.
_Colman 1768_ He brought her over with him to their house, To hinder your detecting it.
CHREM. Good! good!
SYRUS. D"ye think so?
CHREM. Charming!
SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
But only hear the rest of our device.
_Harper_ Against my will?"----You can say none of this; _Colman 1768_ Against my will?"----These pleas you cannot urge;]
SCENE VI.
_Enter c.l.i.tIPHO._
c.l.i.t. (_to himself_). Nothing so easy in itself, but when Perform"d against one"s will, grows difficult.
This little walk how easy! yet how faint And weary it has made me!--and I fear Lest I be still excluded, and forbid To come near Bacchis. (_Seeing SYRUS._)--Now all powers above.
Confound you, Syrus, for the trick you play"d me!
That brain of yours is evermore contriving Some villainy to torture me withal.
SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness Had well-nigh ruin"d me.
c.l.i.t. I would it had, As you deserv"d!
SYRUS. As I deserv"d!--How"s that?---- Before you touch"d the cash, that I was just About to give you.
c.l.i.t. Why, what can I say?
You went away; came back, beyond my hopes, And brought my mistress with you; then again Forbade my touching her.
SYRUS. Well, well, I can"t Be peevish with you now--But do you know Where Bacchis is?