The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal a.s.sistant
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine
"11，,1,11^…" Su Yuyang muttered as he typed on the keyboard.
Ling Miao scooted over to listen. Oh, Su Yuyang was complaining. If Ling Miao hadn"t already known the reason for Su Yuyang"s grievance, he might have thought Su Yuyang had a grudge against the number 11.
Last night, when Ling Miao had grabbed Su Yuyang"s phone and posted the blog post Su Yuyang had drafted, he had also used Su Yuyang"s account to reblog it with the addition, "Tomorrow, I"ll upload 11 chapters to celebrate." Su Yuyang looked at his saved drafts, then looked at his hands, then at the sly expression on Ling Miao"s face. He momentarily felt that the whole world had gone dark.
Fangroup Tofu: Wait for the Great Shu"s 11 chapters today.
Tofu posted this good news in the group.
Fangroup Little Apple: 11 chapters? What 11 chapters?
Fangroup Tofu: The Great Shu made a blog post yesterday saying he will upload 11 chapters today.
Fangroup Gourd Doll:¹ 11 chapters? It"s not Singles" Day.
Fangroup Tofu: [Image]
Tofu sent a screenshot of Su Yuyang"s microblog to the group chat, which exploded at once. Countless lurkers now surfaced.
Fangroup Unseen: And here we see a ripe display of PDA. I"m crushed. [Crying]
Ling Miao leisurely watched the conversation in the group chat, occasionally telling Su Yuyang what was going on in the chat. Even though Su Yuyang had his earbuds in and was listening to music, he could still hear Ling Miao"s words. As he was constantly being interrupted, he couldn"t get his writing speed up.
"Ah, Great Shu, Yi-mei is crying in the chat. She said your blogpost yesterday agitated her."
Su Yuyang didn"t reply to Ling Miao. He typed faster and faster, sparks flying from between his fingers and the keyboard.
Su Yuyang was now truly experiencing what "getting into trouble with one"s mouth" meant. Ling Miao"s "11 updates" was intended to be a lesson for him!
Su Yuyang had spoken too quickly without thinking, and now his hands were suffering the consequences. Su Yuyang wasn"t resentful; in fact, he even found it to be sweet. Didn"t Ling Miao"s anger indicate that his heart contained only Su Yuyang? At this thought, Su Yuyang had a burst of energy. So what if it was 11 updates? Even if it was 21 updates, Su Yuyang wasn"t worried!
Of course, Su Yuyang wouldn"t tell Ling Miao what he was thinking. If Ling Miao really made a "21 updates" blog post for him, he wouldn"t have anywhere to cry.
"Xiao Miao, you"re not writing?" Su Yuyang finished a chapter and took a break in preparation to continue writing again. Seeing Ling Miao doing nothing, he almost forgot what he himself had to do, and couldn"t help reminding Ling Miao.
Ling Miao said with indifference, "I"ve already broken my update streak, so I won"t get this month"s effort bonus. I"ll update again next month." Seeing Su Yuyang start a new chapter, Ling Miao stretched lazily and said, "However much you"ve written, send it to me. I"ll edit it."
"You b.a.s.t.a.r.d." Su Yuyang smiled in satisfaction before sending the drafts to Ling Miao.
"f.u.c.k, you"ve only written three chapters in two hours. You"re letting down your 8000wph speed!" Ling Miao said in surprise.
Su Yuyang blinked, forcing out a couple of tears which he wiped away, and said, "A certain someone keeps interrupting my thought process. Ten thousand words in two hours is not bad."
Ling Miao said h.e.l.lo in the group then went invisible. Su Yuyang opened the group chat.
After reading the day"s chat logs, he smiled helplessly: Ling Miao is pretty cute.
After lunch, Su Yuyang continued writing. Ling Miao didn"t interrupt him, as if worried that continuing to vex Su Yuyang would leave Su Yuyang unable to finish the day"s updates.
Without Ling Miao"s interference, Su Yuyang"s writing speed significantly increased, but he still wasn"t satisfied. He asked the word sprint group if anyone wanted to word sprint, but no one dared rise to the challenge because they knew they would suffer at his hands.
"Word sprint with me," Ling Miao pulled off his headphones and said.
"Sure."
The companions.h.i.+p of his lover was like being infused with 3 pounds of chicken blood.² In minutes, Su Yuyang had produced a chapter.
"Finally done." Su Yuyang looked at his shaking hands and let out a long sigh.
Ling Miao went up and took Su Yuyang"s hand. He fussed, "If I"d known, I"d have put down 10 updates."
Su Yuyang almost spat blood. He forced a laugh: "11 updates, I can still handle. Besides, doesn"t 11 mean "for a lifetime"?"³
"11 is also Little Singles" Day."⁴ Ling Miao let go of Su Yuyang"s hand, but Su Yuyang grabbed his hand instead. Su Yuyang held Ling Miao"s hand and looked up at Ling Miao, his gaze gentle: "11 is actually your promise to me, right? To be by my side for a lifetime."
Ling Miao"s cheeks went red. He lowered his head, not daring to meet Su Yuyang"s eyes, ashamed of having been seen through. But Ling Miao would never admit it. He said stubbornly, "What "for a lifetime?" I still have several decades to live. I might find someone better than you…"
"Mhm?" Su Yuyang let the noise out through his nose, a threatening air about it. Ling Miao stopped himself in time and smiled ingratiatingly: "It"s difficult to find someone better than you. Having you is enough. Right, you should rest for a while. I"ll edit."
Su Yuyang got up from the seat and Ling Miao took Su Yuyang"s place in front of the laptop to edit the drafts.
As Ling Miao edited, the black lines on his forehead grew so long and heavy they pressed him into the table. He turned, about to complain to Su Yuyang, but saw Su Yuyang lying on the bed, seemingly asleep.
Ling Miao sighed and bemoaned the tragedy of life, editing the inexplicable typos as he did so. What gave Ling Miao the biggest headache was that Su Yuyang used the Five Stroke typing method, so he could only try to fix some of the typos going by context.⁵
Su Yuyang really was exhausted. The moment his head touched the bed, his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes again, it was already dark.
"Xiao Miao."
Su Yuyang"s m.u.f.fled voice came. Ling Miao turned and asked, "You"re hungry, aren"t you. What do you want? I"ll make it."
"Fried rice. Noodles are fine, too."
"You wait." Ling Miao turned and went to the kitchen. Su Yuyang glanced at the screen and found that Ling Miao was writing.
"You have a large pile of things to be doing, but you"re still editing for me." Su Yuyang"s lips lifted slightly. His faint smile completely showcased the joy in his heart.
Several minutes later, Ling Miao came back carrying a fragrant plate of egg fried rice.
Su Yuyang smelled the fragrance of the food and reflexively swallowed, the look in his eyes like that of a hungry wolf that had spotted a flock of sheep. Ling Miao laughed, "Look at you. Someone who didn"t know the situation might think I starved you for a few days."
"I really am hungry." Su Yuyang rubbed his stomach aggrievedly.
Su Yuyang took the plate of fried rice from Ling Miao and immediately began wolfing it down.
Ling Miao gazed at Su Yuyang, a heartfelt smile on his face, but the smile was also sorrowful as he gradually sank into his memories.
Several minutes later Su Yuyang had demolished the fried rice on the plate. Not a single grain of rice was left.
Su Yuyang met Ling Miao"s eyes which were full of sorrow and his heart sank too.
At some point, Ling Miao recovered. He reminisced, "My mom didn"t cook well, but she liked to cook for my dad. My dad didn"t like the food mom cooked for him, so he ate quickly and went back to the bedroom, but my mom would be very happy…" Ling Miao didn"t finish his sentence. He didn"t have the courage.
"Tomorrow, take me to see your mom?" Su Yuyang put an arm around Ling Miao and said gently.
Translation notes:
[1] "Gourd Doll": also a h.o.m.ophone for a well known lewd song. Singles" Day: 11/11.
[2] Chicken blood: a home remedy that is said to increase energy.
[3]The CN expression for "for a lifetime" is "one life, one world" and so can be represented by 11
[4]Little Singles" Day: 1/1, a redux of Singles" Day on 11/11.
[5]with Five Strokes entry method, it"s more difficult to tell from the typo what the author had intended to write.