PLAINTIFF. Yes, he must pay!
[She clings to him pa.s.sionately; after a struggle, he throws her off into arms of Counsel.
JURY. We would be fairly acting, But this is most distracting!
If, when in liquor he would kick her, That is an abatement.
RECIT -- JUDGE
The question, gentlemen--is one of liquor.
You ask for guidance--this is my reply: He says, when tipsy, he would thrash and kick her.
Let"s make him tipsy, gentlemen, and try!
COUNSEL. With all respect, I do object!
PLAINTIFF. I do object!
DEFENDANT. I don"t object!
ALL. With all respect We do object!
JUDGE (tossing his books and paper about)
All the legal furies seize you!
No proposal seems to please you, I can"t sit up here all day, I must shortly get away.
Barristers, and you, attorneys, Set out on your homeward journeys; Gentle, simple-minded Usher, Get you, if you like, to Russher; Put your briefs upon the shelf, I will marry her myself!
[He comes down from Bench to floor of Court. He embraces Angelina.
FINALE
PLAINTIFF. Oh, joy unbounded, With wealth surrounded, The knell is sounded Of grief and woe.
COUNSEL. With love devoted On you he"s doated, To castle moated Away they go.
DEFENDANT. I wonder whether They"ll live together, In marriage tether In manner true?
USHER. It seems to me, sir, Of such as she, sir, A Judge is he, sir, And a good Judge, too!
JUDGE. Yes, I am a Judge!
ALL. And a good Judge, too!
JUDGE. Yes, I am a Judge!
ALL. And a good Judge, too!
JUDGE. Though homeward as you trudge, You declare my law is fudge.
Yet of beauty I"m a judge.
ALL. And a good Judge too!
JUDGE. Though defendant is a sn.o.b,
ALL. And a great sn.o.b, too!
JUDGE. Though defendant is a sn.o.b,
ALL. And a great sn.o.b, too!
JUDGE. Though defendant is a sn.o.b, I"ll reward him from his fob.
So we"ve settled with the job,
ALL. And a good job, too!
Dance
CURTAIN
UTOPIA LIMITED
OR
THE FLOWERS OF PROGRESS
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan Libretto by William S. Gilbert
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
King Paramount, the First (King of Utopia) Scaphio and Phantis (Judges of the Utopian Supreme Court) Tarara (The Public Exploder) Calynx (The Utopian Vice-Chamberlain)
Imported Flowers of Progress:
Lord Dramaleigh (a British Lord Chamberlain) Captain Fitzbattleaxe (First Life Guards) Captain Sir Edward Corcoran, K.C.B. (of the Royal Navy) Mr. Goldbury (a company promoter; afterwards Comptroller of the Utopian Household) Sir Bailey Barre, Q.C., M.P.
Mr. Blushington (of the County Council)
The Princess Zara (eldest daughter of King Paramount) The Princesses Nekaya and Kalyba (her Younger Sisters) The Lady Sophy (their English Gouvernante)
Utopian Maidens: Salata Melene Phylla
ACT I
A Utopian Palm Grove