I doubt if even Griffinhoof[5] could (Tho" Griffin"s a comical lad) Invent any joke half so good As that precious one, "This is too bad!"
Then come again, come again Spring!
Oh haste thee, with Fun in thy train; And--of all things the funniest--bring These exalted Grimaldis again!
[1] One of the shows of London.
[2] More particularly his Grace"s celebrated amendment to the Corn Bill: for which, and the circ.u.mstances connected with it, see Annual Register for A. D. 1827.
[3] From a speech of Sir Boyle Roche"s, in the Irish House of Commons.
[4] The learning his Lordship displayed on the subject of the butcher"s "fifth quarter" of mutton will not speedily be forgotten.
[5] The _nom de guerre_ under which Colman has written some of his best farces.
THE "LIVING DOG" AND "THE DEAD LION."
1828.
Next week will be published (as "Lives" are the rage) The whole Reminiscences, wondrous and strange, Of a small puppy-dog that lived once in the cage Of the late n.o.ble Lion at Exeter "Change.
Tho" the dog is a dog of the kind they call "sad,"
"Tis a puppy that much to good breeding pretends; And few dogs have such opportunities had Of knowing how Lions behave--among friends;
How that animal eats, how he snores, how he drinks, Is all noted down by this Boswell so small; And "tis plain from each sentence, the puppy-dog thinks That the Lion was no such great things after all.
Tho" he roared pretty well--this the puppy allows-- It was all, he says, borrowed--all second-hand roar; And he vastly prefers his own little bow-wows To the loftiest war-note the Lion could pour.
"Tis indeed as good fun as a _Cynic_ could ask, To see how this c.o.c.kney-bred setter of rabbits Takes gravely the Lord of the Forest to task, And judges of lions by puppy-dog habits.
Nay, fed as he was (and this makes it a dark case) With sops every day from the Lion"s own pan, He lifts up his leg at the n.o.ble beast"s carca.s.s.
And does all a dog so diminutive can.
However, the book"s a good book, being rich in Examples and warnings to lions high-bred, How they suffer small mongrelly curs in their kitchen, Who"ll feed on them living and foul them when dead.
T. PIDc.o.c.k
_Exeter "Change_,
ODE TO DON MIGUEL.
Et tu, _Brute_!
1828.[1]
What! Miguel, _not_ patriotic! oh, fy!
After so much good teaching "tis quite a _take-in_, Sir; First schooled as you were under Metternich"s eye, And then (as young misses say) "finisht" at Windsor![2]
I ne"er in my life knew a case that was harder;-- Such feasts as you had when you made us a call!
Three courses each day from his Majesty"s larder,-- And now to turn absolute Don after all!!
Some authors, like Bayes, to the style and the matter Of each thing they _write_ suit the way that they _dine_, Roast sirloin for Epic, broiled devils for Satire, And hotchpotch and _trifle_ for rhymes such as mine.
That Rulers should feed the same way, I"ve no doubt;-- Great Despots on _bouilli_ served up _a la Russe_,[3]
Your small German Princes on frogs and sour crout, And your Viceroy of Hanover always on _goose_.
_Some_ Dons too have fancied (tho" this may be fable) A dish rather dear, if in cooking they blunder it;-- Not content with the common _hot_ meat _on_ a table, They"re partial (eh, Mig?) to a dish of _cold under_ it![4]
No wonder a Don of such appet.i.tes found Even Windsor"s collations plebeianly plain; Where the dishes most _high_ that my Lady sends round Are here _Maintenon_ cutlets and soup _a la Reine_.
Alas! that a youth with such charming beginnings, Should sink all at once to so sad a conclusion, And what is still worse, throw the losings and winnings Of worthies on "Change into so much confusion!
The Bulls, in hysterics--the Bears just as bad-- The few men who _have_, and the many who"ve _not_ tick, All shockt to find out that that promising lad, Prince Metternich"s pupil, is--_not_ patriotic!
[1] At the commencement of this year, the designs of Don Miguel and his partisans against the const.i.tution established by his brother had begun more openly to declare themselves.
[2] Don Miguel had paid a visit to the English court at the close of the year 1827.
[3] Dressed with a pint of the strongest spirits--a favorite dish of the Great Frederick of Prussia, and which he persevered in eating even on his death-bed, much to the horror of his physician Zimmerman.
[4] This quiet case of murder, with all its particulars--the hiding the body under the dinner-table, etc.--is, no doubt, well known to the reader.
THOUGHTS ON THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT OF IRELAND.
1828.
Oft have I seen, in gay, equestrian pride, Some well-rouged youth round Astley"s Circus ride Two stately steeds--standing, with graceful straddle, Like him of Rhodes, with foot on either saddle, While to soft tunes--some jigs and some _andantes_-- He steers around his light-paced Rosinantes.