[2] "It had always appeared to him that _between the Catholic and Protestant a great gulf_ intervened, with rendered it impossible," etc.
[3] The Baptist might acceptably extend the offices of religion to the Presbyterian and the Independent, or the member of the Church of England to any of the other three; but the Catholic," etc.
[4] "Could he then, holding as he did a spiritual office in the Church of Scotland, (cries of hear, and laughter,) with any consistency give his consent to a grant of money?" etc.
MORAL POSITIONS.
A DREAM.
"His Lordship said that it took a long time for a moral position to find its way across the Atlantic. He was very sorry that its voyage had been so long," etc.--Speech of Lord Dudley and Ward on Colonial Slavery, March 8.
T"other night, after hearing Lord Dudley"s oration (A treat that comes once a year as May-day does), I dreamt that I saw--what a strange operation!
A "moral position" shipt off for Barbadoes.
The whole Bench of Bishops stood by in grave att.i.tudes, Packing the article tidy and neat;-- As their Reverences know that in southerly lat.i.tudes "Moral positions" don"t keep very sweet.
There was Bathurst arranging the custom-house pa.s.s; And to guard the frail package from tousing and routing, There stood my Lord Eldon, endorsing it "Gla.s.s,"
Tho" as to which side should lie uppermost, doubting.
The freight was however stowed safe in the hold; The winds were polite and the moon lookt romantic, While off in the good ship "The Truth" we were rolled, With our ethical cargo, across the Atlantic.
Long, dolefully long, seemed the voyage we made; For "The Truth," at all times but a very slow sailer, By friends, near as much as by foes, is delayed, And few come aboard her tho" so many hail her.
At length, safe arrived, I went thro" "tare and tret,"
Delivered my goods in the primest condition.
And next morning read in the _Bridge-town Gazette_, "Just arrived by "The Truth," a new moral position.
"The Captain"--here, startled to find myself named As "the Captain"--(a thing which, I own it with pain, I thro" life have avoided,) I woke--lookt ashamed, Found I _wasn"t_ a captain and dozed off again.
THE MAD TORY AND THE COMET.
FOUNDED ON A LATE DISTRESSING INCIDENT.
1832-3.
_"mutantem regna cometem."_ LUCAN.[1]
"Tho" all the pet mischiefs we count upon fail, "Tho" Cholera, hurricanes, Wellington leave us, "We"ve still in reserve, mighty Comet, thy tail;-- "Last hope" of the Tories, wilt thou too deceive us?
"No--"tis coming, "tis coming, the avenger is nigh; "Heed, heed not, ye placemen, how Herapath flatters; "One whisk from that tail as it pa.s.ses us by "Will settle at once all political matters;--
"The East-India Question, the Bank, the Five Powers, "(Now turned into two) with their rigmarole Protocols;-- "Ha! ha! ye G.o.ds, how this new friend of ours "Will knock, right and left, all diplomacy"s what-d"ye-calls!
"Yes, rather than Whigs at our downfall should mock, "Meet planets and suns in one general hustle!
"While happy in vengeance we welcome the shock "That shall jerk from their places, Grey, Althorp and Russell."
Thus spoke a mad Lord, as, with telescope raised, His wild Tory eye on the heavens he set: And tho" nothing destructive appeared as he gazed, Much hoped that there _would_ before Parliament met.
And still, as odd shapes seemed to flit thro" his gla.s.s, "Ha! there it is now," the poor maniac cries; While his fancy with forms but too monstrous, alas!
From his own Tory zodiac peoples the skies:--
"Now I spy a big body, good heavens, how big!
"Whether Bucky[2] or Taurus I cannot well say:-- "And yonder there"s Eldon"s old Chancery wig, "In its dusty aphelion fast fading away.
"I see, "mong those fatuous meteors behind, "Londonderry, _in vacuo_, flaring about;-- "While that dim double star, of the nebulous kind, "Is the Gemini, Roden and Lorton, no doubt.
"Ah, Ellenborough! "faith, I first thought "twas the Comet; "So like that in Milton, it made me quite pale; "The head with the same "horrid hair" coming from it, "And plenty of vapor, but--where is the tail?"
Just then, up aloft jumpt the gazer elated-- For lo! his bright gla.s.s a phenomenon showed, Which he took to be c.u.mberland, _upwards_ translated, Instead of his natural course, _t"other_ road!
But too awful that sight for a spirit so shaken,-- Down dropt the poor Tory in fits and grimaces, Then off to the Bedlam in Charles Street was taken, And is now one of Halford"s most favorite cases.
[1] Eclipses and comets have been always looked to as great changers of administrations.
[2] The Duke of Buckingham.
FROM THE HON. HENRY ----, TO LADY EMMA ----.
_Paris, March 30,1833_.
You bid me explain, my dear angry Ma"amselle, How I came thus to bolt without saying farewell; And the truth is,--as truth you _will_ have, my sweet railer,-- There are two worthy persons I always feel loath To take leave of at starting,--my mistress and tailor,-- As somehow one always has _scenes_ with them both; The Snip in ill-humor, the Syren in tears, She calling on Heaven, and he on the attorney,-- Till sometimes, in short, "twixt his duns and his dears, A young gentleman risks being stopt in his journey.
But to come to the point, tho" you think, I dare say.
That "tis debt or the Cholera drives me away, "Pon honor you"re wrong;--such a mere bagatelle As a pestilence, n.o.body now-a-days fears; And the fact is, my love, I"m thus bolting, pell-mell, To get out of the way of these horrid new Peers;[1]
This deluge of coronets frightful to think of; Which England is now for her sins on the brink of; This coinage of _n.o.bles_,--coined all of "em, badly, And sure to bring Counts to a _dis_-count most sadly.
Only think! to have Lords over running the nation, As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation; No shelter from Barons, from Earls no protection, And tadpole young Lords too in every direction,-- Things created in haste just to make a Court list of, Two legs and a coronet all they consist of!
The prospect"s quite frightful, and what Sir George Rose (My particular friend) says is perfectly true, That, so dire the alternative, n.o.body knows, "Twixt the Peers and the Pestilence, what he"s to do; And Sir George even doubts,--could he choose his disorder,-- "Twixt coffin and coronet, _which_ he would order.