[1] These verses, as well as some others that follow, were extorted from me by that lamentable measure of the Whig ministry, the Irish Coercion Act.
[2] This eminent artist, in the second edition of the work wherein he propounds this mode of purifying his eels, professes himself much concerned at the charge of inhumanity brought against his practice, but still begs leave respectfully to repeat that it _is_ the only proper mode of preparing eels for the table.
TO THE REV. CHARLES OVERTON,
CURATE OF ROMALDKIRK.
AUTHOR OF THE POETICAL PORTRAITURE OF THE CHURCH.
1833.
Sweet singer of Romaldkirk, thou who art reckoned, By critics Episcopal, David the Second,[1]
If thus, as a Curate, so lofty your flight, Only think, in a Rectory, how you _would_ write!
Once fairly inspired by the "t.i.the-crowned Apollo,"
(Who beats, I confess it, our lay Phoebus hollow, Having gotten, besides the old _Nine"s_ inspiration, The _Tenth_ of all eatable things in creation.) There"s nothing in fact that a poet like you, So be-_nined_ and be-_tenthed_, couldn"t easily do.
Round the lips of the sweet-tongued Athenian[2] they say, While yet but a babe in his cradle he lay, Wild honey-bees swarmed as presage to tell Of the sweet-flowing words that thence afterwards fell.
Just so round our Overton"s cradle, no doubt, Tenth ducklings and chicks were seen flitting about; Goose embryos, waiting their doomed decimation, Came, shadowing forth his adult destination, And small, sucking t.i.the-pigs, in musical droves, Announced the Church poet whom Chester approves.
O Horace! when thou, in thy vision of yore, Didst dream that a snowy-white plumage came o"er Thy etherealized limbs, stealing downily on, Till, by Fancy"s strong spell, thou wert turned to a swan, Little thought"st thou such fate could a poet befall, Without any effort of fancy, at all; Little thought"st thou the world would in Overton find A bird, ready-made, somewhat different in kind, But as perfect as Michaelmas" self could produce, By G.o.ds yclept _anser_, by mortals a _goose_.
[1] "Your Lordship," says Mr. Overton, in the Dedication of his Poem to the Bishop of Chester," has kindly expressed your persuasion that my Muse will always be a "Muse of sacred song and that it will be tuned as David"s was.""
[2] Sophocles.
SCENE FROM A PLAY, ACTED AT OXFORD, CALLED "MATRICULATION."[1]
[Boy discovered at a table, with the Thirty-Nine Articles before him.-- Enter the Rt. Rev. Doctor Phillpots.]
_Doctor P_.--There, my lad, lie the Articles--(_Boy begins to count them_) just thirty nine-- No occasion to count--you"ve now only to sign.
At Cambridge where folks are less High-church than we, The whole Nine-and-Thirty are lumped into Three.
Let"s run o"er the items;--there "a Justification, Predestination, and Supererogation-- Not forgetting Salvation and Creed Athanasian, Till we reach, at last, Queen Bess"s Ratification.
That is sufficient--now, sign--having read quite enough, You "believe in the full and true meaning thereof?"
(_Boy stares_.)
Oh! a mere form of words, to make things smooth and brief,-- A commodious and short make-believe of belief, Which our Church has drawn up in a form thus articular To keep out in general all who"re particular.
But what"s the boy doing? what! reading all thro", And my luncheon fast cooling!--this never will do.
_Boy_ (_poring over the Articles_).-- Here are points which--pray, Doctor, what"s "Grace of Congruity?"
_Doctor P._ (_sharply_).--You"ll find out, young sir, when you"ve more ingenuity.
At present, by signing, you pledge yourself merely.
Whate"er it may be, to believe it sincerely, Both in _dining_ and _signing_ we take the same plan,-- First, swallow all down, then digest--as we can.
_Boy_ (_still reading_).--I"ve to gulp, I see, St. Athanasius"s Creed, Which. I"m told, is a very tough morsel indeed; As he d.a.m.ns--
_Doctor P. (aside)_.--Ay, and so would _I_, willingly, too, All confounded particular young b.o.o.bies, like you.
This comes of Reforming!--all"s o"er with our land, When people won?t stand what they can"t _under_-stand; Nor perceive that our ever-revered Thirty-Nine Were made not for men to _believe_ but to _sign_.
_Exit Dr. P. in a pa.s.sion_.
[1] It appears that when a youth of fifteen went to be matriculated at Oxford, he was required first to subscribe the Thirty-Nine Articles of Religious Belief.
LATE t.i.tHE CASE.
_"sic vos non vobis."_
1833.
"The Vicar of Birmingham desires me to state that, in consequence of the pa.s.sing of a recent Act of Parliament, he is compelled to adopt measures which may by some be considered harsh or precipitate; but, _in duty to what he owes to his successors_, he feels bound to preserve the rights of the vicarage."
--_Letter from Mr. S. Powell_, August 6.
No, _not_ for yourselves, ye reverend men, Do you take one pig in every ten, But for Holy Church"s future heirs, Who"ve an abstract right to that pig, as theirs; The law supposing that such heirs male Are already seized of the pig, in tail.
No, _not_ for himself hath Birmingham"s priest His "well-beloved" of their pennies fleeced: But it is that, before his prescient eyes, All future Vicars of Birmingham rise, With their embryo daughters, nephews, nieces, And "tis for _them_ the poor he fleeces.
He heareth their voices, ages hence Saying, "Take the pig"--"oh take the pence;"
The cries of little Vicarial dears, The unborn Birminghamites, reach his ears; And, did he resist that soft appeal, He would _not_ like a true-born Vicar feel.
Thou, too, Lundy of Lackington!
A rector true, if e"er there was one, Who, for sake of the Lundies of coming ages, Gripest the tenths of laborer"s wages.[1]
"Tis true, in the pockets of _thy_ small-clothes The claimed "obvention"[2]of four-pence goes; But its abstract spirit, unconfined, Spreads to all future Rector-kind, Warning them all to their rights to wake, And rather to face the block, the stake, Than give up their darling right _to take_.
One grain of musk, it is said, perfumes (So subtle its spirit) a thousand rooms, And a single four-pence, pocketed well, Thro" a thousand rectors" lives will tell.
Then still continue, ye reverend souls, And still as your rich Pactolus rolls, Grasp every penny on every side, From every wretch, to swell its tide: Remembering still what the Law lays down, In that pure poetic style of its own.
"If the parson _in esse_ submits to loss, he "Inflicts the same on the parson _in posse_."
[1] Fourteen agricultural laborers (one of whom received so little as six guineas for yearly wages, one eight, one nine, another ten guineas, and the best paid of the whole not more than 18_l_. annually) were all, in the course of the autumn of 1832, served with demands of t.i.the at the rate of 4_d_. in the 1_l_. sterling, on behalf of the Rev. F. Lundy, Rector of Lackington, etc.--_The Times_, August, 1833.
[2] One of the various general terms under which oblations, t.i.thes, etc., are comprised.