Sence I begun to scribble rhyme, I tell ye wut, I hain"t ben foolin"; The parson"s books, life, death, an" time Hev took some trouble with my schoolin"; 20 Nor th" airth don"t git put out with me, Thet love her "z though she wuz a woman; Why, th" ain"t a bird upon the tree But half forgives my bein" human.
An" yit I love th" unhighschooled way Ol" farmers hed when I wuz younger; Their talk wuz meatier, an" "ould stay, While book-froth seems to whet your hunger; For puttin" in a downright lick "twixt Humbug"s eyes, ther" "s few can metch it, 30 An" then it helves my thoughts ez slick Ez stret-grained hickory does a hetchet.
But when I can"t, I can"t, thet"s all, For Natur" won"t put up with gullin"; Idees you hev to shove an" haul Like a druv pig ain"t wuth a mullein: Live thoughts ain"t sent for; thru all rifts O" sense they pour an" resh ye onwards, Like rivers when south-lyin" drifts Feel thet th" old arth"s a-wheelin" sunwards. 40
Time wuz, the rhymes come crowdin" thick Ez office-seekers arter "lection, An" into ary place "ould stick Without no bother nor objection; But sence the war my thoughts hang back Ez though I wanted to enlist "em, An" subs"tutes,--_they_ don"t never lack, But then they"ll slope afore you"ve mist "em.
Nothin" don"t seem like wut it wuz; I can"t see wut there is to hender, 50 An" yit my brains jes" go buzz, buzz, Like b.u.mblebees agin a winder; "fore these times come, in all airth"s row, Ther" wuz one quiet place, my head in, Where I could hide an" think,--but now It"s all one teeter, hopin", dreadin".
Where"s Peace? I start, some clear-blown night, When gaunt stone walls grow numb an" number, An" creakin" "cross the snow-crus" white, Walk the col" starlight into summer; 60 Up grows the moon, an" swell by swell Thru the pale pasturs silvers dimmer Than the last smile thet strives to tell O" love gone heavenward in its shimmer.
I hev been gladder o" sech things Than c.o.c.ks o" spring or bees o" clover, They filled my heart with livin" springs, But now they seem to freeze "em over; Sights innercent ez babes on knee, Peaceful ez eyes o" pastur"d cattle, 70 Jes" coz they be so, seem to me To rile me more with thoughts o" battle.
Indoors an" out by spells I try; Ma"am Natur" keeps her spin-wheel goin", But leaves my natur" stiff and dry Ez fiel"s o" clover arter mowin"; An" her jes" keepin" on the same, Calmer "n a clock, an" never carin"
An" findin" nary thing to blame, Is wus than ef she took to swearin". 80
Snow-flakes come whisperin" on the pane The charm makes blazin" logs so pleasant, But I can"t hark to wut they"re say"n", With Grant or Sherman ollers present; The chimbleys shudder in the gale, Thet lulls, then suddin takes to flappin"
Like a shot hawk, but all"s ez stale To me ez so much sperit-rappin".
Under the yaller-pines I house, When sunshine makes "em all sweet-scented, 90 An" hear among their furry boughs The baskin" west-wind purr contented, While "way o"erhead, ez sweet an" low Ez distant bells thet ring for meetin", The wedged wil" geese their bugles blow, Further an" further South retreatin".
Or up the slippery k.n.o.b I strain An" see a hundred hills like islan"s Lift their blue woods in broken chain Out o" the sea o" snowy silence; 100 The farm-smokes, sweetes" sight on airth, Slow thru the winter air a-shrinkin"
Seem kin" o" sad, an" roun" the hearth Of empty places set me thinkin".
Beaver roars hoa.r.s.e with meltin" snows, An" rattles di"mon"s from his granite; Time wuz, he s.n.a.t.c.hed away my prose, An" into psalms or satires ran it; But he, nor all the rest thet once Started my blood to country-dances, 110 Can"t set me goin" more "n a dunce Thet hain"t no use for dreams an" fancies.
Rat-tat-tat-tattle thru the street I hear the drummers makin" riot, An" I set thinkin" o" the feet Thet follered once an" now are quiet,-- White feet ez snowdrops innercent, Thet never knowed the paths o" Satan, Whose comin" step ther" "s ears thet won"t, No, not lifelong, leave off awaitin", 120
Why, hain"t I held "em on my knee?
Didn"t I love to see "em growin", Three likely lads ez wal could be, Hahnsome an" brave an" not tu knowin"?
I set an" look into the blaze Whose natur", jes" like theirn, keeps climbin", Ez long "z it lives, in shinin" ways, An" half despise myself for rhymin".
Wut"s words to them whose faith an" truth On War"s red techstone rang true metal, 130 Who ventered life an" love an" youth For the gret prize o" death in battle?
To him who, deadly hurt, agen Flashed on afore the charge"s thunder, Tippin" with fire the bolt of men Thet rived the Rebel line asunder?
"Tain"t right to hev the young go fust, All throbbin" full o" gifts an" graces, Leavin" life"s paupers dry ez dust To try an" make b"lieve fill their places: 140 Nothin" but tells us wut we miss, Ther" "s gaps our lives can"t never fay in, An" _thet_ world seems so fur from this Lef" for us loafers to grow gray in!
My eyes cloud up for rain; my mouth Will take to twitchin" roun" the corners; I pity mothers, tu, down South, For all they sot among the scorners: I"d sooner take my chance to stan"
At Jedgment where your meanest slave is, 150 Than at G.o.d"s bar hol" up a han"
Ez drippin" red ez yourn, Jeff Davis!
Come, Peace! not like a mourner bowed For honor lost an" dear ones wasted, But proud, to meet a people proud, With eyes thet tell o" triumph tasted!
Come, with han" grippin" on the hilt, An" step thet proves ye Victory"s daughter!
Longin" for you, our sperits wilt Like shipwrecked men"s on raf"s for water. 160
Come, while our country feels the lift Of a gret instinct shoutin" "Forwards!"
An" knows thet freedom ain"t a gift Thet tarries long in han"s o" cowards!
Come, sech ez mothers prayed for, when They kissed their cross with lips thet quivered, An" bring fair wages for brave men, A nation saved, a race delivered!
No. XI
MR. HOSEA BIGLOW"S SPEECH IN MARCH MEETING
TO THE EDITOR OF THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY
JAALAM, April 5, 1866.
MY DEAR SIR,--
(an" noticin" by your kiver thet you"re some dearer than wut you wuz, I enclose the deffrence) I dunno ez I know Jest how to interdoose this las" perduction of my mews, ez Parson Wilber allus called "em, which is goin" to _be_ the last an" _stay_ the last onless sunthin" pertikler sh"d interfear which I don"t expec" ner I wun"t yield tu ef it wuz ez pressin" ez a deppity Shiriff. Sence Mr. Wilbur"s disease I hevn"t hed no one thet could dror out my talons. He ust to kind o" wine me up an"
set the penderlum agoin" an" then somehow I seemed to go on tick as it wear tell I run down, but the noo minister ain"t of the same brewin" nor I can"t seem to git ahold of no kine of huming nater in him but sort of slide rite off as you du on the eedge of a mow. Minnysteeril natur is wal enough an" a site better"n most other kines I know on, but the other sort sech as Welbor hed wuz of the Lord"s makin" an" naterally more wonderfle an" sweet tastin" leastways to me so fur as heerd from. He used to interdooce "em smooth ez ile athout sayin" nothin" in pertickler an" I mis...o...b.. he didn"t set so much by the sec"nd Ceres as wut he done by the Fust, fact, he let on onct thet his mine misgive him of a sort of fallin" off in spots. He wuz as outspoken as a norwester _he_ wuz, but I tole him I hoped the fall wuz from so high up thet a feller could ketch a good many times fust afore comin" bunt onto the ground as I see Jethro C. Swett from the meetin" house steeple up to th" old perrish, an" took up for dead but he"s alive now an" spry as wut you be. Turnin" of it over I recelected how they ust to put wut they called Argymunce onto the frunts of poymns, like poorches afore housen whare you could rest ye a spell whilst you wuz concludin" whether you"d go in or nut espeshully ware tha wuz darters, though I most allus found it the best plen to go in fust an" think afterwards an" the gals likes it best tu. I dno as speechis ever hez any argimunts to "em, I never see none thet hed an" I guess they never du but tha must allus be a B"ginnin" to everythin"
athout it is Etarnity so I"ll begin rite away an" anybody may put it afore any of his speeches ef it soots an" welcome. I don"t claim no paytent.
THE ARGYMUNT
Interducshin, w"ich may be skipt. Begins by talkin" about himself: thet"s jest natur an" most gin"ally allus pleasin", I b"leeve I"ve notist, to _one_ of the c.u.mpany, an" thet"s more than wut you can say of most speshes of talkin". Nex" comes the gittin" the goodwill of the orjunce by lettin" "em gether from wut you kind of ex"dentally let drop thet they air about East, A one, an" no mistaik, skare "em up an" take "em as they rise. Spring interdooced with a fiew approput flours. Speach finally begins witch n.o.buddy needn"t feel obolygated to read as I never read "em an" never sh.e.l.l this one ag"in. Subjick staited; expanded; delayted; extended. Pump lively. Subjick staited ag"in so"s to avide all mistaiks. Ginnle remarks; continooed; kerried on; pushed furder; kind o"
gin out. Subjick _re_staited; dielooted; stirred up permiscoous. Pump ag"in. Gits back to where he sot out. Can"t seem to stay thair. Ketches into Mr. Seaward"s hair. Breaks loose ag"in an" staits his subjick; stretches it; turns it; folds it; onfolds it; folds it ag"in so"s"t, no one can"t find it. Argoos with an imedginary bean thet ain"t aloud to say nothin" in replye. Gives him a real good dressin" an" is settysfide he"s rite. Gits into Johnson"s hair. No use tryin" to git into his head.
Gives it up. Hez to stait his subjick ag"in; doos it back"ards, sideways, eendways, criss-cross, bevellin", noways. Gits finally red on it. Concloods. Concloods more. Reads some xtrax. Sees his subjick a-nosin" round arter him ag"in. Tries to avide it. Wun"t du. _Mis_states it. Can"t conjectur" no other plawsable way of staytin" on it. Tries pump. No fx. Finely concloods to conclood. Yeels the flore.
You kin spall an" punctooate thet as you please. I allus do, it kind of puts a noo soot of close onto a word, thisere funattick spellin" doos an" takes "em out of the prissen dress they wair in the Dixonary. Ef I squeeze the cents out of "em it"s the main thing, an" wut they wuz made for: wut"s left"s jest pummis.
Mistur Wilbur sez he to me onct, sez he, "Hosee," sez he, "in litterytoor the only good thing is Natur. It"s amazin" hard to come at,"
sez he, "but onct git it an" you"ve gut everythin". Wut"s the sweetest small on airth?" sez he. "Noomone hay," sez I, pooty bresk, for he wuz allus hankerin" round in hayin". "Nawthin" of the kine," sez he. "My leetle Huldy"s breath," sez I ag"in. "You"re a good lad," sez he, his eyes sort of ripplin" like, for he lost a babe onct nigh about her age,--"you"re a good lad; but "tain"t thet nuther," sez he. "Ef you want to know," sez he, "open your winder of a mornin" et ary season, and you"ll larn thet the best of perfooms is jest fresh air, _fresh air_,"
sez he, emphysizin", "athout no mixtur. Thet"s wut _I_ call natur in writin", and it bathes my lungs and washes "em sweet whenever I git a whiff on "t." sez he. I often think o" thet when I set down to write but the winders air so ept to git stuck, an" breakin" a pane costs sunthin".
Yourn for the last time,
_Nut_ to be continooed,
HOSEA BIGLOW.
I don"t much s"pose, hows"ever I should plen it, I could git boosted into th" House or Sennit,-- Nut while the twolegged gab-machine"s so plenty, "nablin" one man to du the talk o" twenty; I"m one o" them thet finds it ruther hard To mannyfactur" wisdom by the yard, An" maysure off, accordin" to demand, The piece-goods el"kence that I keep on hand, The same ole pattern runnin" thru an" thru, An" nothin" but the customer thet"s new. 10 I sometimes think, the furder on I go, Thet it gits harder to feel sure I know, An" when I"ve settled my idees, I find "twarn"t I sheered most in makin" up my mind; "twuz this an" thet an" t"other thing thet done it, Sunthin" in th" air, I couldn" seek nor shun it.
Mos" folks go off so quick now in discussion, All th" ole flint-locks seems altered to percussion, Whilst I in agin" sometimes git a hint, Thet I"m percussion changin" back to flint; 20 Wal, ef it"s so, I ain"t agoin" to werrit, For th" ole Queen"s-arm hez this pertickler merit,-- It gives the mind a hahnsome wedth o" margin To kin" o make its will afore dischargin": I can"t make out but jest one ginnle rule,-- No man need go an" _make_ himself a fool, Nor jedgment ain"t like mutton, thet can"t bear Cookin" tu long, nor be took up tu rare.
Ez I wuz say"n", I hain"t no chance to speak So"s"t all the country dreads me onct a week, 30 But I"ve consid"ble o" thet sort o" head Thet sets to home an" thinks wut _might_ be said, The sense thet grows an" werrits underneath, Comin" belated like your wisdom-teeth, An" git so el"kent, sometimes, to my gardin Thet I don" vally public life a fardin".
Our Parson Wilbur (blessin"s on his head!) "mongst other stories of ole times he hed, Talked of a feller thet rehea.r.s.ed his spreads Beforehan" to his rows o" kebbige-heads, 40 (Ef "twarn"t Demossenes, I guess "twuz Sisro,) Appealin" fust to thet an" then to this row, Accordin" ez he thought thet his idees Their diff"runt ev"riges o" brains "ould please; "An"," sez the Parson, "to hit right, you must Git used to maysurin" your hearers fust; For, take my word for "t, when all"s come an" past, The kebbige-heads"ll cair the day et last; Th" ain"t ben a meetin" sence the worl" begun But they made (raw or biled ones) ten to one." 50
I"ve allus foun" "em, I allow, sence then About ez good for talkin" tu ez men; They"ll take edvice, like other folks, to keep, (To use it "ould be holdin" on "t tu cheap,) They listen wal, don" kick up when you scold "em, An" ef they"ve tongues, hev sense enough to hold "em; Though th" ain"t no denger we shall lose the breed, I gin"lly keep a score or so for seed, An" when my sappiness gits spry in spring, So"s"t my tongue itches to run on full swing, 60 I fin" "em ready-planted in March-meetin", Warm ez a lyceum-audience in their greetin", An" pleased to hear my spoutin" frum the fence,-- Comin", ez "t doos, entirely free "f expense.
This year I made the follerin" observations Extrump"ry, like most other tri"ls o" patience, An", no reporters bein" sent express To work their abstrac"s up into a mess Ez like th" oridg"nal ez a woodcut pictur"
Thet chokes the life out like a boy-constrictor, 70 I"ve writ "em out, an" so avide all jeal"sies "twixt nonsense o" my own an" some one"s else"s.
(N.B. Reporters gin"lly git a hint To make dull orjunces seem "live in print, An", ez I hev t" report myself, I vum, I"ll put th" applauses where they"d _ough" to_ come!)