She told me what a loathsome agony _2875 Is that when selfishness mocks love"s delight, Foul as in dream"s most fearful imagery, To dally with the mowing dead--that night All torture, fear, or horror made seem light Which the soul dreams or knows, and when the day _2880 Shone on her awful frenzy, from the sight Where like a Spirit in fleshly chains she lay Struggling, aghast and pale the Tyrant fled away.
7.
Her madness was a beam of light, a power Which dawned through the rent soul; and words it gave, _2885 Gestures and looks, such as in whirlwinds bore Which might not be withstood--whence none could save-- All who approached their sphere,--like some calm wave Vexed into whirlpools by the chasms beneath; And sympathy made each attendant slave _2890 Fearless and free, and they began to breathe Deep curses, like the voice of flames far underneath.
8.
The King felt pale upon his noonday throne: At night two slaves he to her chamber sent,-- One was a green and wrinkled eunuch, grown _2895 From human shape into an instrument Of all things ill--distorted, bowed and bent.
The other was a wretch from infancy Made dumb by poison; who nought knew or meant But to obey: from the fire isles came he, _2900 A diver lean and strong, of Oman"s coral sea.
9.
They bore her to a bark, and the swift stroke Of silent rowers clove the blue moonlight seas, Until upon their path the morning broke; They anch.o.r.ed then, where, be there calm or breeze, _2905 The gloomiest of the drear Symplegades Shakes with the sleepless surge;--the Ethiop there Wound his long arms around her, and with knees Like iron clasped her feet, and plunged with her Among the closing waves out of the boundless air. _2910
10.
"Swift as an eagle stooping from the plain Of morning light, into some shadowy wood, He plunged through the green silence of the main, Through many a cavern which the eternal flood Had scooped, as dark lairs for its monster brood; _2915 And among mighty shapes which fled in wonder, And among mightier shadows which pursued His heels, he wound: until the dark rocks under He touched a golden chain--a sound arose like thunder.
11.
"A stunning clang of ma.s.sive bolts redoubling _2920 Beneath the deep--a burst of waters driven As from the roots of the sea, raging and bubbling: And in that roof of crags a s.p.a.ce was riven Through which there shone the emerald beams of heaven, Shot through the lines of many waves inwoven, _2925 Like sunlight through acacia woods at even, Through which, his way the diver having cloven, Pa.s.sed like a spark sent up out of a burning oven.
12.
"And then," she said, "he laid me in a cave Above the waters, by that chasm of sea, _2930 A fountain round and vast, in which the wave Imprisoned, boiled and leaped perpetually, Down which, one moment resting, he did flee, Winning the adverse depth; that s.p.a.cious cell Like an hupaithric temple wide and high, _2935 Whose aery dome is inaccessible, Was pierced with one round cleft through which the sunbeams fell.
13.
"Below, the fountain"s brink was richly paven With the deep"s wealth, coral, and pearl, and sand Like spangling gold, and purple sh.e.l.ls engraven _2940 With mystic legends by no mortal hand, Left there, when thronging to the moon"s command, The gathering waves rent the Hesperian gate Of mountains, and on such bright floor did stand Columns, and shapes like statues, and the state _2945 Of kingless thrones, which Earth did in her heart create.
14.
"The fiend of madness which had made its prey Of my poor heart, was lulled to sleep awhile: There was an interval of many a day, And a sea-eagle brought me food the while, _2950 Whose nest was built in that untrodden isle, And who, to be the gaoler had been taught Of that strange dungeon; as a friend whose smile Like light and rest at morn and even is sought That wild bird was to me, till madness misery brought. _2955
15.
"The misery of a madness slow and creeping, Which made the earth seem fire, the sea seem air, And the white clouds of noon which oft were sleeping, In the blue heaven so beautiful and fair, Like hosts of ghastly shadows hovering there; _2960 And the sea-eagle looked a fiend, who bore Thy mangled limbs for food!--Thus all things were Transformed into the agony which I wore Even as a poisoned robe around my bosom"s core.
16.
"Again I knew the day and night fast fleeing, _2965 The eagle, and the fountain, and the air; Another frenzy came--there seemed a being Within me--a strange load my heart did bear, As if some living thing had made its lair Even in the fountains of my life:--a long _2970 And wondrous vision wrought from my despair, Then grew, like sweet reality among Dim visionary woes, an unreposing throng.
17.
"Methought I was about to be a mother-- Month after month went by, and still I dreamed _2975 That we should soon be all to one another, I and my child; and still new pulses seemed To beat beside my heart, and still I deemed There was a babe within--and, when the rain Of winter through the rifted cavern streamed, _2980 Methought, after a lapse of lingering pain, I saw that lovely shape, which near my heart had lain.
18.
"It was a babe, beautiful from its birth,-- It was like thee, dear love, its eyes were thine, Its brow, its lips, and so upon the earth _2985 It laid its fingers, as now rest on mine Thine own, beloved!--"twas a dream divine; Even to remember how it fled, how swift, How utterly, might make the heart repine,-- Though "twas a dream."--Then Cythna did uplift _2990 Her looks on mine, as if some doubt she sought to shift:
19.
A doubt which would not flee, a tenderness Of questioning grief, a source of thronging tears; Which having pa.s.sed, as one whom sobs oppress She spoke: "Yes, in the wilderness of years _2995 Her memory, aye, like a green home appears; She sucked her fill even at this breast, sweet love, For many months. I had no mortal fears; Methought I felt her lips and breath approve,-- It was a human thing which to my bosom clove. _3000
20.
"I watched the dawn of her first smiles; and soon When zenith stars were trembling on the wave, Or when the beams of the invisible moon, Or sun, from many a prism within the cave Their gem-born shadows to the water gave, _3005 Her looks would hunt them, and with outspread hand, From the swift lights which might that fountain pave, She would mark one, and laugh, when that command Slighting, it lingered there, and could not understand.
21.
"Methought her looks began to talk with me; _3010 And no articulate sounds, but something sweet Her lips would frame,--so sweet it could not be, That it was meaningless; her touch would meet Mine, and our pulses calmly flow and beat In response while we slept; and on a day _3015 When I was happiest in that strange retreat, With heaps of golden sh.e.l.ls we two did play,-- Both infants, weaving wings for time"s perpetual way.
22.
"Ere night, methought, her waning eyes were grown Weary with joy, and tired with our delight, _3020 We, on the earth, like sister twins lay down On one fair mother"s bosom:--from that night She fled,--like those illusions clear and bright, Which dwell in lakes, when the red moon on high Pause ere it wakens tempest;--and her flight, _3025 Though "twas the death of brainless fantasy, Yet smote my lonesome heart more than all misery.
23.
"It seemed that in the dreary night the diver Who brought me thither, came again, and bore My child away. I saw the waters quiver, _3030 When he so swiftly sunk, as once before: Then morning came--it shone even as of yore, But I was changed--the very life was gone Out of my heart--I wasted more and more, Day after day, and sitting there alone, _3035 Vexed the inconstant waves with my perpetual moan.
24.
"I was no longer mad, and yet methought My b.r.e.a.s.t.s were swoln and changed:--in every vein The blood stood still one moment, while that thought Was pa.s.sing--with a gush of sickening pain _3040 It ebbed even to its withered springs again: When my wan eyes in stern resolve I turned From that most strange delusion, which would fain Have waked the dream for which my spirit yearned With more than human love,--then left it unreturned. _3045
25.
"So now my reason was restored to me I struggled with that dream, which, like a beast Most fierce and beauteous, in my memory Had made its lair, and on my heart did feast; But all that cave and all its shapes, possessed _3050 By thoughts which could not fade, renewed each one Some smile, some look, some gesture which had blessed Me heretofore: I, sitting there alone, Vexed the inconstant waves with my perpetual moan.
26.
"Time pa.s.sed, I know not whether months or years; _3055 For day, nor night, nor change of seasons made Its note, but thoughts and unavailing tears: And I became at last even as a shade, A smoke, a cloud on which the winds have preyed, Till it be thin as air; until, one even, _3060 A Nautilus upon the fountain played, Spreading his azure sail where breath of Heaven Descended not, among the waves and whirlpools driven.
27.
"And, when the Eagle came, that lovely thing, Oaring with rosy feet its silver boat, _3065 Fled near me as for shelter; on slow wing, The Eagle, hovering o"er his prey did float; But when he saw that I with fear did note His purpose, proffering my own food to him, The eager plumes subsided on his throat-- _3070 He came where that bright child of sea did swim, And o"er it cast in peace his shadow broad and dim.
28.
"This wakened me, it gave me human strength; And hope, I know not whence or wherefore, rose, But I resumed my ancient powers at length; _3075 My spirit felt again like one of those Like thine, whose fate it is to make the woes Of humankind their prey--what was this cave?
Its deep foundation no firm purpose knows Immutable, resistless, strong to save, _3080 Like mind while yet it mocks the all-devouring grave.
29.
"And where was Laon? might my heart be dead, While that far dearer heart could move and be?
Or whilst over the earth the pall was spread, Which I had sworn to rend? I might be free, _3085 Could I but win that friendly bird to me, To bring me ropes; and long in vain I sought By intercourse of mutual imagery Of objects, if such aid he could be taught; But fruit, and flowers, and boughs, yet never ropes he brought. _3090
30.
"We live in our own world, and mine was made From glorious fantasies of hope departed: Aye we are darkened with their floating shade, Or cast a l.u.s.tre on them--time imparted Such power to me--I became fearless-hearted, _3095 My eye and voice grew firm, calm was my mind, And piercing, like the morn, now it has darted Its l.u.s.tre on all hidden things, behind Yon dim and fading clouds which load the weary wind.
31.
"My mind became the book through which I grew _3100 Wise in all human wisdom, and its cave, Which like a mine I rifled through and through, To me the keeping of its secrets gave-- One mind, the type of all, the moveless wave Whose calm reflects all moving things that are, _3105 Necessity, and love, and life, the grave, And sympathy, fountains of hope and fear, Justice, and truth, and time, and the world"s natural sphere.
32.
"And on the sand would I make signs to range These woofs, as they were woven, of my thought; _3110 Clear, elemental shapes, whose smallest change A subtler language within language wrought: The key of truths which once were dimly taught In old Crotona;--and sweet melodies Of love, in that lorn solitude I caught _3115 From mine own voice in dream, when thy dear eyes Shone through my sleep, and did that utterance harmonize.
33.
"Thy songs were winds whereon I fled at will, As in a winged chariot, o"er the plain Of crystal youth; and thou wert there to fill _3120 My heart with joy, and there we sate again On the gray margin of the glimmering main, Happy as then but wiser far, for we Smiled on the flowery grave in which were lain Fear, Faith and Slavery; and mankind was free, _3125 Equal, and pure, and wise, in Wisdom"s prophecy.
34.
"For to my will my fancies were as slaves To do their sweet and subtile ministries; And oft from that bright fountain"s shadowy waves They would make human throngs gather and rise _3130 To combat with my overflowing eyes, And voice made deep with pa.s.sion--thus I grew Familiar with the shock and the surprise And war of earthly minds, from which I drew The power which has been mine to frame their thoughts anew. _3135
35.
"And thus my prison was the populous earth-- Where I saw--even as misery dreams of morn Before the east has given its glory birth-- Religion"s pomp made desolate by the scorn Of Wisdom"s faintest smile, and thrones uptorn, _3140 And dwellings of mild people interspersed With undivided fields of ripening corn, And love made free,--a hope which we have nursed Even with our blood and tears,--until its glory burst.
36.
"All is not lost! There is some recompense _3145 For hope whose fountain can be thus profound, Even throned Evil"s splendid impotence, Girt by its h.e.l.l of power, the secret sound Of hymns to truth and freedom--the dread bound Of life and death pa.s.sed fearlessly and well, _3150 Dungeons wherein the high resolve is found, Racks which degraded woman"s greatness tell, And what may else be good and irresistible.
37.
"Such are the thoughts which, like the fires that flare In storm-encompa.s.sed isles, we cherish yet _3155 In this dark ruin--such were mine even there; As in its sleep some odorous violet, While yet its leaves with nightly dews are wet, Breathes in prophetic dreams of day"s uprise, Or as, ere Scythian frost in fear has met _3160 Spring"s messengers descending from the skies, The buds foreknow their life--this hope must ever rise.
38.
"So years had pa.s.sed, when sudden earthquake rent The depth of ocean, and the cavern cracked With sound, as if the world"s wide continent _3165 Had fallen in universal ruin wracked: And through the cleft streamed in one cataract The stifling waters--when I woke, the flood Whose banded waves that crystal cave had sacked Was ebbing round me, and my bright abode _3170 Before me yawned--a chasm desert, and bare, and broad.