A few days later she burst in and said that the lawyer had got the girl paroled-to her.
Thomas rose from his Morris chair, dropping the review he had been reading. His large bland face contracted in antic.i.p.ated pain. "You are not," he said, "going to bring that girl here!"
"No, no," she said, "calm yourself, Thomas." She had managed with difficulty to get the girl a job in a pet shop in town and a place to board with a crotchety old lady of her acquaintance. People were not kind. They did not put themselves in the place of someone like Star who had everything against her.
Thomas sat down again and retrieved his review. He seemed just to have escaped some danger which he did not care to make clear to himself. "n.o.body can tell you anything," he said, "but in a few days that girl will have left town, having got what she could out of you. You"ll never hear from her again."
Two nights later he came home and opened the parlor door and was speared by a shrill depthless laugh. His mother and the girl sat close to the fireplace where the gas logs were lit. The girl gave the immediate impression of being physically crooked. Her hair was cut like a dog"s or an elf"s and she was dressed in the latest fashion. She was training on him a long familiar sparkling stare that turned after a second into an intimate grin.
"Thomas!" his mother said, her voice firm with the injunction not to bolt, "this is Star you"ve heard so much about. Star is going to have supper with us."
The girl called herself Star Drake. The lawyer had found that her real name was Sarah Ham.
Thomas neither moved nor spoke but hung in the door in what seemed a savage perplexity. Finally he said, "How do you do, Sarah," in a tone of such loathing that he was shocked at the sound of it. He reddened, feeling it beneath him to show contempt for any creature so pathetic. He advanced into the room, determined at least on a decent politeness and sat down heavily in a straight chair.
"Thomas writes history," his mother said with a threatening look at him. "He"s president of the local Historical Society this year."
The girl leaned forward and gave Thomas an even more pointed attention. "Fabulous!" she said in a throaty voice.
"Right now Thomas is writing about the first settlers in this county," his mother said.
"Fabulous!" the girl repeated.
Thomas by an effort of will managed to look as if he were alone in the room.
"Say, you know who he looks like?" Star asked, her head on one side, taking him in at an angle.
"Oh someone very distinguished!" his mother said archly.
"This cop I saw in the movie I went to last night," Star said.
"Star," his mother said, "I think you ought to be careful about the kind of movies you go to. I think you ought to see only the best ones. I don"t think crime stories would be good for you."
"Oh this was a crime-does-not-pay," Star said, "and I swear this cop looked exactly like him. They were always putting something over on the guy. He would look like he couldn"t stand it a minute longer or he would blow up. He was a riot. And not bad looking," she added with an appreciative leer at Thomas.
"Star," his mother said, "I think it would be grand if you developed a taste for music."
Thomas sighed. His mother rattled on and the girl, paying no attention to her, let her eyes play over him. The quality of her look was such that it might have been her hands, resting now on his knees, now on his neck. Her eyes had a mocking glitter and he knew that she was well aware he could not stand the sight of her. He needed nothing to tell him he was in the presence of the very stuff of corruption, but blameless corruption because there was no responsible faculty behind it. He was looking at the most unendurable form of innocence. Absently he asked himself what the att.i.tude of G.o.d was to this, meaning if possible to adopt it.His mother"s behavior throughout the meal was so idiotic that he could barely stand to look at her and since he could less stand to look at Sarah Ham, he fixed on the sideboard across the room a continuous gaze of disapproval and disgust. Every remark of the girl"s his mother met as if it deserved serious attention. She advanced several plans for the wholesome use of Star"s spare time. Sarah Ham paid no more attention to this advice than if it came from a parrot.Once when Thomas inadvertently looked in her direction, she winked. As soon as he had swallowed the last spoonful of dessert, he rose and muttered, "I have to go, I have a meeting."
"Thomas," his mother said, "I want you to take Star home on your way. I don"t want her riding in taxis by herself at night."
For a moment Thomas remained furiously silent. Then he turned and left the room. Presently he came back with a look of obscure determination on his face. The girl was ready, meekly waiting at the parlor door. She cast up at him a great look of admiration and confidence. Thomas did not offer his arm but she took it anyway and moved out of the house and down the steps, attached to what might have been a miraculously moving monument.
"Be good!" his mother called.
Sarah Ham snickered and poked him in the ribs.
While getting his coat he had decided that this would be his opportunity to tell the girl that unless she ceased to be a parasite on his mother, he would see to it, personally, that she was returned to jail. He would let her know that he understood what she was up to, that he was not an innocent and that there were certain things he would not put up with.At his desk, pen in hand, none was more articulate than Thomas. As soon as he found himself shut into the car with Sarah Ham, terror seized his tongue.
She curled her feet up under her and said, "Alone at last," and giggled.
Thomas swerved the car away from the house and drove fast toward the gate. Once on the highway, he shot forward as if he were being pursued.
"Jesusl" Sarah Ham said, swinging her feet off the seat, "where"s the fire?"
Thomas did not answer. In a fcw seconds he could feel her edging closer. She stretched, eased nearer, and finally hung her hand limply over his shoulder. "Tomsee doesn"t like me," she said, "but I think he"s fabulously cute."
Thomas covered the three and a half miles into town in a little over four minutes. The light at the first intersection was red but he ignored it. The old woman lived three blocks beyond. When the car screeched to a halt at the place, he jumped out and ran around to the girl"s door and opened it. She did not move from the car and Thomas was obliged to wait. After a moment one leg emerged, then her small white crooked face appeared and stared up at him. There was something about the look of it that suggested blindness but it was the blindness of those who don"t know that they cannot see. Thomas was curiously sickened. The empty eyes moved over him. "n.o.body likes me," she said in a sullen tone. "What if you were me and I couldn"t stand to ride you three miles?"
"My mother likes you," he muttered.
"Her!" the girl said. "She"s just about seventy-five years behind the times!"
Breathlessly Thomas said, "If I find you bothering her again, I"ll have you put back in jail." There was a dull force behind his voice though it came out barely above a whisper.
"You and who else?" she said and drew back in the car as if now she did not intend to get out at all. Thomas reached into it, blindly grasped the front of her coat, pulled her out by it and released her. Then he lunged back to the car and sped off. The other door was still hanging open and her laugh, bodiless but real, bounded up the street as if it were about to jump in the open side of the car and ride away with him. He reached over and slammed the door and then drove toward home, too angry to attend his meeting.He intended to make his mother well aware of his displeasure.He intended to leave no doubt in her mind. The voice of his father rasped in his head.
Numbskull, the old man said, put your foot down now.Show her who"s boss before she shows you.
But when Thomas reached home, his mother, wisely, had gone to bed.
The next morning he appeared at the breakfast table, his brow lowered and the thrust of his jaw indicating that he was in a dangerous humor. When he intended to be determined, Thomas began like a bull that, before charging, backs with his head lowered and paws the ground. "All right now listen," he began, yanking out his chair and sitting down, "I have something to say to you about that girl and I don"t intend to say it but once." He drew breath. "She"s nothing but a little s.l.u.t. She makes fun of you behind your back.She means to get everything she can out of you and you are nothing to her."
His mother looked as if she too had spent a restless night. She did not dress in the morning but wore her bathrobe and a grey turban around her head, which gave her face a disconcerting omniscient look. He might have been breakfasting with a sibyl.
"You"ll have to use canned cream this morning", she said, pouring his coffee. "I forgot the other."
"All right, did you hear me?" Thomas growled.
"I"m not deaf," his mother said and put the pot back on the, trivet. "I know I"m nothing but an old bag of wind to her.
"Then why do you persist in this foolhardy..."
"Thomas," she said, and put her hand to the side of her face, "it might be..."
"It is not me!" Thomas said, grasping the table leg at his knee.
She continued to hold her face, shaking her head slightly. "Think of all you have," she began. "All the comforts of home. And morals, Thomas. No bad inclinations, nothing bad you were born with."
Thomas began to breathe like some one who feels the onset of asthma. "You are not logical," he said in a limp voice. "He would have put his foot down."
The old lady stiffened. "You," she said, "are not like him."
Thomas opened his mouth silently.
"However," his mother said, in a tone of such subtle accusation that she might have been taking back the compliment, "I won"t invite her back again since you"re so dead set against her."
"I am not set against her," Thomas said. "I am set against your making a fool of yourself."
As soon as he left the table and closed the door of his study on himself, his father took up a squatting position in his mind. The old man had had the countryman"s ability to converse squatting, though he was no countryman but had been born and brought up in the city and only moved to a smaller place later to exploit his talents. With steady skill he had made them think him one of them. In the midst of a conversation on the courthouse lawn, he would squat and his two or three companions would squat with him with no break in the surface of the talk. By gesture he had lived his lie; he had never deigned to tell one.
Let her run over you, he said. You ain"t like me. Not enough to be a man.
Thomas began vigorously to read and presently the image faded. The girl had caused a disturbance in the depths of his being, somewhere out of the reach of his power of a.n.a.lysis. He felt as if he had seen a tornado pa.s.s a hundred yards away and had an intimation that it would turn again and head directly for him. He did not get his mind firmly on his work until mid-morning.
Two nights later, his mother and he were sitting in the den after their supper, each reading a section of the evening paper, when the telephone began to ring with the bra.s.sy intensity of a fire alarm. Thomas reached for it. As soon as the receiver was in his hand, a shrill female voice screamed into the room, "Come get this girl! Come get her! Drunk! Drunk in my parlor and I won"t have it! Lost her job and come back here drunk! I won"t have it!"
His mother leapt up and s.n.a.t.c.hed the receiver.
The ghost of Thomas"s father rose before him. Call the sheriff, the old man prompted. "Call the sheriff," Thomas said in a loud voice. "Call the sheriff to go there and pick her up."
"We"ll be right there," his mother was saying. "We"ll come and get her right away. Tell her to get her things together."
"She ain"t in no condition to get nothing together," the voice screamed. "You shouldn"t have put something like her off on me! My house is respectable!"
"Tell her to call the sheriff," Thomas shouted.
His mother put the receiver down and looked at him."I wouldn"t turn a dog over to that man," she said.
Thomas sat in the chair with his arms folded and looked fixedly at the wall.
"Think of the poor girl, Thomas," his mother said, "with nothing. Nothing. And we have everything."
When they arrived, Sarah Ham was slumped spraddlelegged against the banister on the boarding house front steps.Her tam was down on her forehead where the old woman had slammed it and her clothes were bulging out of her suitcase where the old woman had thrown them in.She was carrying on a drunken conversation with herself in a low personal tone. A streak of lipstick ran up one side of her face. She allowed herself to be guided by his mother to the car and put in the back seat without seeming to know who the rescuer was. "Nothing to talk to all day but a pack of G.o.dd.a.m.ned parakeets," she said in a furious whisper.
Thomas, who had not got out of the car at all, or looked at her after the first revolted glance, said, "I"m telling you, once and for all, the place to take her is the jail."
His mother, sitting on the back seat, holding the girl"s hand, did not answer.
"All right, take her to the hotel," he said.
"I cannot take a drunk girl to a hotel, Thomas," she said."You know that."
"Then take her to a hospital."
"She doesn"t need a jail or a hotel or a hospital," his mother said, "she needs a home."
"She does not need mine," Thomas said.
"Only for tonight, Thomas," the old lady sighed. "Only for tonight."
Since then eight days had pa.s.sed. The little s.l.u.t was established in the guest room. Every day his mother set out to find her a job and a place to board, and failed, for the old woman had broadcast a warning. Thomas kept to his room or the den. His home was to him home, workshop, church, as personal as the sh.e.l.l of a turtle and as necessary. He could not believe that it could be violated in this way. His flushed face had a constant look of stunned outrage.
As soon as the girl was up in the morning, her voice throbbed out in a blues song that would rise and waver, then plunge low with insinuations of pa.s.sion about to be satisfied and Thomas, at his desk, would lunge up and begin frantically stuffing his ears with Kleenex. Each time he started from one room to another, one floor to another, she would be certain to appear. Each time he was half way up or down the stairs, she would either meet him and pa.s.s, cringing coyly, or go up or down behind him, breathing small tragic spearmint-flavored sighs. She appeared to adore Thomas"s repugnance to her and to draw it out of him every chance she got as if it added delectably to her martyrdom.
The old man-small, wasp-like, in his yellowed panama hat, his seersucker suit, his pink carefully-soiled shirt, his small string tie-appeared to have taken up his station in Thomas"s mind and from there, usually squatting, he shot out the same rasping suggestion every time the boy paused from his forced studies. Put your foot down. Go to see the sheriff.
The sheriff was another edition of Thomas"s father except that he wore a checkered shirt and a Texas type hat and was ten years younger. He was as easily dishonest, and he had genuinely admired the old man. Thomas, like his mother, would have gone far out of his way to avoid his gla.s.sy pale blue gaze. He kept hoping for another solution, for a miracle.
With Sarah Ham in the house, meals were unbearable.
"Tomsee doesn"t like me," she said the third or fourth night at the supper table and cast her pouting gaze across at the large rigid figure of Thomas, whose face was set with the look of a man trapped by insufferable odors. "He doesn"t want me here. n.o.body wants me anywhere."
"Thomas"s name is Thomas," his mother interrupted."Not Tomsee."
"I made Tomsee up," she said. "I think it"s cute. He hates me."
"Thomas does not hate you," his mother said. "We are not the kind of people who hate," she added, as if this were an imperfection that had been bred out of them generations ago.
"Oh, I know when I"m not wanted," Sarah Ham continued."They didn"t even want me in jail. If I killed myself I wonder would G.o.d want me?"
"Try it and see,"Thomas muttered.
The girl screamed with laughter. Then she stopped abruptly, her face puckered and she began to shake."The best thing to do," she said, her teeth clattering, "is to kill myself. Then I"ll be out of everybody"s way. I"ll go to h.e.l.l and be out of G.o.d"s way. And even the devil won"t want me.He"ll kick me out of h.e.l.l, not even in h.e.l.l..." she wailed.
Thomas rose, picked up his plate and knife and fork and carried them to the den to finish his supper. After that, he had not eaten another meal at the table but had had his mother serve him at his desk. At these meals, the old man was intensely present to him. He appeared to be tipping backwards in his chair, his thumbs beneath his galluses, while he said such things as, She never ran me away from my own table.
A few nights later, Sarah Ham slashed her wrists with a paring knife and had hysterics. From the den where he was closeted after supper, Thomas heard a shriek, then a series of screams, then his mother"s scurrying footsteps through the house. He did not move. His first instant of hope that the girl had cut her throat faded as he realized she could not have done it and continue to scream the way she was doing.He returned to his journal and presently the screams subsided.In a moment his mother burst in with his coat and hat. "We have to take her to the hospital," she said. "She tried to do away with herself. I have a tourniquet on her arm. Oh Lord, Thomas," she said, "imagine being so low you"d do a thing like that!"
Thomas rose woodenly and put on his hat and coat. "We will take her to the hospital," he said, "and we will leave her there."
"And drive her to despair again?" the old lady cried."Thomas!"
Standing in the center of his room now, realizing that he had reached the point where action was inevitable, that he must pack, that he must leave, that he must go, Thomas remained immovable.
His fury was directed not at the little s.l.u.t but at his mother. Even though the doctor had found that she had barely damaged herself and had raised the girl"s wrath by laughing at the tourniquet and putting only a streak of iodine on the cut, his mother could not get over the incident. Some new weight of sorrow seemed to have been thrown across her shoulders, and not only Thomas, but Sarah Ham was infuriated by this, for it appeared to be a general sorrow that would have found another object no matter what good fortune came to either of them. The experience of Sarah Ham had plunged the old lady into mourning for the world.
The morning after the attempted suicide, she had gone through the house and collected all the knives and scissors and locked them in a drawer. She emptied a bottle of rat poison down the toilet and took up the roach tablets from the kitchen floor. Then she came to Thomas"s study and said in a whisper, "Where is that gun of his? I want you to lock it up."
"The gun is in my drawer," Thomas roared, "and I will not lock it up. If she shoots herself, so much the better!"
"Thomas," his mother said, "she"ll hear you!"
"Let her hear me!" Thomas yelled. "Don"t you know she has no intention of killing herself? Don"t you know her kind never kill themselves? Don"t you..."
His mother slipped out the door and closed it to silence him and Sarah Ham"s laugh, quite close in the hall, came rattling into his room. "Tomsee"ll find out. I"ll kill myself and then he"ll be sorry he wasn"t nice to me. I"ll use his own lil gun, his own lil or pearl-handled revol-Iervuh!" she shouted and let out a loud tormented-sounding laugh in imitation of a movie monster.
Thomas ground his teeth. He pulled out his desk drawer and felt for the pistol. It was an inheritance from the old man, whose opinion it had been that every house should contain a loaded gun. He had discharged two bullets one night into the side of a prowler, but Thomas had never shot anything. He had no fear that the girl would use the gun on herself and he closed the drawer. Her kind clung tenaciously to life and were able to wrest some histrionic advantage from every moment.
Several ideas for getting rid of her had entered his head but each of these had been suggestions whose moral tone indicated that they had come from a mind akin to his father"s, and Thomas had rejected them. He could not get the girl locked up again until she did something illegal. The old man would have been able with no qualms at all to get her drunk and send her out on the highway in his car, meanwhile notifying the highway patrol of her presence on the road, but Thomas considered this below his moral stature.Suggestions continued to come to him, each more outrageous than the last.
He had not the vaguest hope that the girl would get the gun and shoot herself, but that afternoon when he looked in the drawer, the gun was gone. His study locked from the inside, not the out. He cared nothing about the gun, but the thought of Sarah Ham"s hands sliding among his papers infuriated him. Now even his study was contaminated. The only place left untouched by her was his bedroom.
That night she entered it.