AUDREY. Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman"s saying.
TOUCHSTONE. A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext.
But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY. Ay, I know who "tis; he hath no interest in me in the world; here comes the man you mean.
Enter WILLIAM
TOUCHSTONE. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for: we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
WILLIAM. Good ev"n, Audrey.
AUDREY. G.o.d ye good ev"n, William.
WILLIAM. And good ev"n to you, sir.
TOUCHSTONE. Good ev"n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee be cover"d. How old are you, friend?
WILLIAM. Five and twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE. A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM. William, sir.
TOUCHSTONE. A fair name. Wast born i" th" forest here?
WILLIAM. Ay, sir, I thank G.o.d.
TOUCHSTONE. "Thank G.o.d." A good answer.
Art rich?
WILLIAM. Faith, sir, so so.
TOUCHSTONE. "So so" is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
WILLIAM. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE. Why, thou say"st well. I do now remember a saying: "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
WILLIAM. I do, sir.
TOUCHSTONE. Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM. No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE. Then learn this of me: to have is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being pour"d out of cup into a gla.s.s, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he; now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM. Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE. He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon- which is in the vulgar leave- the society- which in the boorish is company- of this female- which in the common is woman- which together is: abandon the society of this female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; will o"er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore tremble and depart.
AUDREY. Do, good William.
WILLIAM. G.o.d rest you merry, sir. Exit
Enter CORIN
CORIN. Our master and mistress seeks you; come away, away.
TOUCHSTONE. Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey. I attend, I attend.
Exeunt
SCENE II.
The forest
Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER
ORLANDO. Is"t possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that but seeing you should love her? and loving woo?
and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her?
OLIVER. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me; consent with both that we may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good; for my father"s house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland"s will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.
ORLANDO. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow.
Thither will I invite the Duke and all"s contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind.
Enter ROSALIND
ROSALIND. G.o.d save you, brother.
OLIVER. And you, fair sister. Exit ROSALIND. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf!
ORLANDO. It is my arm.
ROSALIND. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.
ORLANDO. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
ROSALIND. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he show"d me your handkercher?
ORLANDO. Ay, and greater wonders than that.
ROSALIND. O, I know where you are. Nay, "tis true. There was never any thing so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar"s thrasonical brag of "I came, saw, and overcame." For your brother and my sister no sooner met but they look"d; no sooner look"d but they lov"d; no sooner lov"d but they sigh"d; no sooner sigh"d but they ask"d one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy- and in these degrees have they made pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage. They are in the very wrath of love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.
ORLANDO. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the Duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man"s eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.
ROSALIND. Why, then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind?
ORLANDO. I can live no longer by thinking.
ROSALIND. I will weary you, then, no longer with idle talking. Know of me then- for now I speak to some purpose- that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three year old, convers"d with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not d.a.m.nable.
If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena shall you marry her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without any danger.
ORLANDO. Speak"st thou in sober meanings?
ROSALIND. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore put you in your best array, bid your friends; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will.
Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE
Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.
PHEBE. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness To show the letter that I writ to you.
ROSALIND. I care not if I have. It is my study To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
You are there follow"d by a faithful shepherd; Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
PHEBE. Good shepherd, tell this youth what "tis to love.
SILVIUS. It is to be all made of sighs and tears; And so am I for Phebe.
PHEBE. And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO. And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND. And I for no woman.
SILVIUS. It is to be all made of faith and service; And so am I for Phebe.
PHEBE. And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO. And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND. And I for no woman.
SILVIUS. It is to be all made of fantasy, All made of pa.s.sion, and all made of wishes; All adoration, duty, and observance, All humbleness, all patience, and impatience, All purity, all trial, all obedience; And so am I for Phebe.
PHEBE. And so am I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO. And so am I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND. And so am I for no woman.
PHEBE. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
SILVIUS. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ORLANDO. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ROSALIND. Why do you speak too, "Why blame you me to love you?"
ORLANDO. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
ROSALIND. Pray you, no more of this; "tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon. [To SILVIUS] I will help you if I can.
[To PHEBE] I would love you if I could.- To-morrow meet me all together. [ To PHEBE ] I will marry you if ever I marry woman, and I"ll be married to-morrow. [To ORLANDO] I will satisfy you if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow. [To Silvius] I will content you if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. [To ORLANDO] As you love Rosalind, meet. [To SILVIUS] As you love Phebe, meet;- and as I love no woman, I"ll meet. So, fare you well; I have left you commands.
SILVIUS. I"ll not fail, if I live.
PHEBE. Nor I.
ORLANDO. Nor I. Exeunt