T/N: Thanks to some helpful readers, I have decided to change Athley and Ludolf to their most likely intended names, Ashley and Rudolph. Sorry for any confusion. I am planning to go back and update chapter 1 to reflect these changes after posting this chapter.
Becoming Closer After Crying Together
On our way back to my room after finishing off the food, I noticed that Ashley was looking through the windows at the garden that Father and I have been taking care of for Mother. We figured that while she was sick in bed, if she can at least look at the garden through the window, her heart might feel more at ease.
“Interested?”
“……”
Ashley slowly turned to look at me, and then merely inclined his head.
“I was just thinking that you might like the flowers…”
“…..I don"t, particularly, hate them….”
Ah, come to think of it… The scene where Ashley and the heroine first met was in the Academy garden. I think Ashley had been absentmindedly staring at the flowers at that time as well.
“Then, would you like to help us take care of them?”
“Is that an order….?”
“It"s not… Just a suggestion. Feel free to decide if you want to or not.”
Without saying anything else, Ashley just gave a big nod of his head.
“Good. Mother will definitely be happy too!”
When I told him that we have been tending to the garden for Mother"s sake, Ashley asked me if she liked flowers.
“Women typically do, right? Didn"t your mother like flowers?”
“Oh….. Well…..”
At Ashley"s loss for words, I finally came back to my senses. How could I have forgotten? He just lost both of his parents! Thinking this, my cheeks flamed.
“Oh…… I"m sorr…..”
“No, don"t worry about it…”
How could I be so inconsiderate? This child is still only 6 years old!
“I"m so sorry……! Truly……. hic”
“No, really, it"s fine……Umm…. Are you…. crying….?”
As the tears rolled down my cheeks, Ashley became startled. Ah, this is probably the first time he"s seen anyone express their feelings so openly like this. Ugh, my face has got to be a complete mess right now.
“Sniff….. hic……”
“Umm, it really isn"t…. Something to cry ove–“
“I"M SORRRRRYYYY…… hic”
Completely flabbergasted, Ashley rushed around the area, looking for someone that could help. Ah! Jeez! What am I doing right now? If you add on my age from my past life, I"m already 24 years old for Pete"s sake! And yet, my reasoning ability must still be at the level of a 7-year-old, since I can"t even seem to hold back my own tears. I shouldn"t be inconveniencing a 6-year-old boy like this! Bad tears…. Stop that!
“Why is Young Mistress crying….?”
“Because…… I made you remember…. something painful….. hic”
“…..I"ve… already cried though so….”
Ashley was still wandering back and forth, wondering what to do, when he suddenly stopped and awkwardly tried wiping my tears away. Afterwards, very troubled, his eyebrows scrunched up and he stood on tiptoe so that he could stroke my head.
“Wahhhhhhhh!!” I started crying even harder.
“Woah!?”
“Why are you the one consoling meeee!? I"m sorrrrryyyy…..!”
“I–…. hic!!”
Unable to bear it any longer, Ashley put his arms around me and started bawling. After hearing our increasingly loud cries, Father, who was working nearby, as well as a few servants, came running, trying to figure out what was wrong.
Ashley, realizing what he had done, grew wide-eyed and apologetic, but my emotions would not calm down.
“I"m really really fine, so….!”
He finally managed to blurt out. In surprise, I momentarily succeeded in holding back my own tears. But when I glanced down at Ashley"s face, he didn"t look fine at all. He still looked very much like he was about to cry.
“Sooo…. we…. should– hic! Wahhh!”
Ashley started crying again, and so I started crying again, and the adults in the room who couldn"t figure out what on earth was happening were forced to just stand there, utterly bewildered and useless.
＊＊＊
Father was eventually able to breathe again once we had returned to the kitchen for some of water. He was relieved, seeing us finally stop crying, and thus he was able to return to his work. The servants were also able to return to their posts, leaving the two of us once again alone together.
“Young Mistress…..”
“Yes…..?”
“He he…..”
“!?”
He laughed…..!
Ashley actually laughed…..! The Ashley who didn"t even have any pictures in the game where he was smiling, actually had a quiet laugh escape from his lips. His smiling face was so angelic and bright that I almost couldn"t look directly at it.
“You"re such a nice person.”
Even though his eyes were red and puffy from the crying, he wore a grin on his face. His smile was so natural and lovely that it was hard to believe that this was the same kid who had only showed me such serious expressions up until now.
His a.s.sessment was quite surprising as well, considering I had unthinkingly poured salt in his wounds and then arbitrarily started crying.
“Not really….”
“It"s true,” said Ashley, with an embarra.s.sed smile. He looked quite bashful with his hands tightly gripping the hem of his shirt and his eyes glued to the ground. He couldn"t seem to stop squirming either.
“You are nice! You cried for my sake and even allowed me to cry too, so of course you are. Even though Mom and Dad died, there had been no one there to cry with me, so that…. really meant a lot to me.”
Ashley"s father had resigned from working for the Alldington family after he got married so that he could take over his wife"s family"s farm. Unfortunately, Ashley"s Mother"s family had been carrying a huge debt so their neighbors and the other townspeople had refused to get involved with them.
It was for that reason that, when his parents had pa.s.sed away, he didn"t have even one friend who would cry with him. Even worse, without shedding a tear after losing their child, his Grandfather and Grandmother had left Ashley behind and fled that night, running away from their debts.
So, completely alone on the night of his parent"s pa.s.sing, overwhelmed with the grief of not only seeing the landslide that had stolen them away, but also their lifeless bodies lying on the ground, Ashley was forced to cry all alone.
After Ashley told me all this, I couldn"t help but start crying again.
With a bitter smile, he once again wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.
“That"s why, I can tell. You are crying even now for me, and in your tears I can see the kindness in your heart.”
And then he took my hand in his, and drew his lips to the back of it in a light kiss. Even if he was still a child, he had given me look into his cruel past, and so before I knew it, I was completely charmed.
“I"m happy that I was able to become your servant. Even if given the choice, I would still freely choose to serve you. I want to become your right hand man, and take care of everything for you. I will be wholly devoted to you and even lay down my life to protect you.”
So he says, but I wonder if he really will end up protecting me or not. I"m sure that the Ashley Carlyle standing in front of me wholeheartedly believes that but…. And since he"s so serious about it, I wonder if it"s really okay for me to doubt him. He is pledging his loyalty to me with such sincere eyes, it"s hard to believe that he might kill me… But is it really safe to believe in him?
I don"t plan to become like the Cecile Alldington from the game. I am just me. And I am different from that Cecile. And if it"s this child, he probably will protect me. He clearly has a heart, unlike in the game…. But, then again, in this world, it"s very likely that the characters that deviate from the set scenario will be few and far between.
There is also the possibility that the script will be followed completely until the bitter end, regardless of character deviations. But to me, and to the rest of the people living here, this world isn"t something man-made… It"s not something fixed, but rather something uncertain. And to completely disregard this child who is looking straight at me; to ignore his personality and just rely on my memory of the game"s plot would be unbearably rude to him.
“I"m also happy that you have agreed to become my servant. To have such a pure person serve me, I really need to polish myself until I can be someone that you won"t have to be ashamed to call your Mistress. Right? Ashley?”
Completely embarra.s.sed, he looked down and shook his head furiously as he said, “To me, you are already a very charming Mistress. But I"m not really pure or anything…”
Well, he is definitely more pure than me at the very least. Seriously, seeing this, it"s really hard to believe that he would ever be able to kill me. At most, he"s just a little kid who is grieving over the death of his parents. The whole emotionless facade was entirely due to that tragedy.
“You don"t have to be so humble. But then again, I guess your modesty is just another of your charms.”
“Young Mistress, you"re so smooth with your words,” said Ashley, his face going red.
Awww, cute. He"s soo cute.
“Wou…..”
“Wou?”
“Would it be okay if I hug you?”
“Huh?”
I didn"t feel like this as much before, but now I could only think about hugging him. His cuteness really healed my heart! But each time I inched closer to him, he continued to retreat away from me. Is it really necessary for him to act that scared? It"s not like I"m going to hurt him or anything.
“But why?”
“Hmm, call it human instinct?”
Or, more likely, a woman"s instinct. Isn"t it completely natural for women to want to hug cute things?
“I…. don"t want to…”
“Why?”
“Your eyes…. look kind of… scary….”
Oh my……
“Hearing Ashley say that really hurts my feelings~…..”
“Even if you blame me, I still don"t want to…..”
“No matter what?”
“My mind is my own so, don"t I have the right to refuse?”
Hey, isn"t that cheating? If you put it that way, what can I say?
“What about some other time then?”
“If I"m in the mood….”
With a bittersweet smile on his face, Ashley took another step back. He didn"t have to be THAT scared……
The setting sun streamed through the windows, dyeing Ashley"s face a deep red. And then I remembered.
“Oh no! I still haven"t watered the flowers yet. Ashley, do you want to water them with me?”
“Yes. With pleasure.”
As a gentleman, he gave me his hand to escort me to the garden. I figured a young boy"s hand would be smooth and soft, but when we clasped fingers I realized that his palm was actually quite rugged. I guess this is natural though, for someone who worked on a farm. He must have been using all his might to help his parents, wanting them to be happy.
“Ashley, this isn"t a promise or anything, more like a wish.”
Facing the garden, with my eyes down on the flowerbeds, I continued to speak.
“Even so, I hope you will try to grant it for me.”
In way of an answer, Ashley gave my hand, still clutched in his, a little squeeze.
“In order to find happiness, don"t disregard your own desires. Because everyone has the right to be happy.”
Even if I say something like this, he won"t think it"s okay to do things like kill people for his own happiness though, right? I mean, he"s such a good little kid….. Nevertheless, just in case there is a sliver of doubt left in a tiny little recess of my heart, I just need make sure not to hurt him or give him reasons to be sad. As long as I protect his heart, I should be fine.
“I understand.”
“Good. Thank you.”
I stroked his head, and for a moment Ashley stiffened, but then he relaxed and quietly closed his eyes.
Just like a cat…..
“…..Won"t you let me hug you after all?”
“I refuse.”
“Why?”
“If we don"t hurry and water the flowers, it"ll be dark before we know it.”
Oh yeah…..
“I wonder what we are having for dinner tonight? Ashley, what sort of foods do you like?”
“I like….. stew, I guess?”
It"s probably pretty rare for n.o.bles to have a meal in their house with people other than their own families, but I wonder if they"d even care about something like this. As long as I just ask Father, I"m sure he would let me eat with him without a word of protest since Ashley is so young. If I were to make him eat by himself, I would feel so bad for him.
The cooks are probably already preparing something else for tonight"s dinner so….
“Shall we ask to have stew tomorrow? And what else? Is there anything else you want to eat?”
“What do you like, Young Mistress?”
“Me? Hmm…. Roast bee–….Nope, not that…..”
Roast beef…. seriously? Can"t I think of something a little more ladylike?
“Then, I want to have roast beef.”
Ahh! He heard me!
But, at any rate, the fact that he wants to eat what I want to eat….
“Ashley, you are the perfect gentleman.”
“……”
Super embarra.s.sed, Ashley looked down. Even his ears had turned red this time.
T/N: For those of you who want to know, Ashley uses 僕（ぼく: Boku) to address himself. Also, when he was addressing Cecile, he used a mixture of お嬢様（おじょうさま: Ojou-sama) and 貴女（あなた: Anata) seemingly at random. It feels like he"s still trying to get used to the idea of being a servant….. so cute!
And, probably n.o.body thought to wonder, but Ashley had been coming back after selling his family"s crops when he saw his parents. I was having a really hard time wording that pa.s.sage, and I ended up thinking it sounded better without it, but I didn"t want to not include the information. I"m very sorry for being a writer that is not quite good enough to include every detail naturally. I hope that over time, my writing skills and translation skills will improve so that you can have an even better experience!