T/N: This chapter is dedicated to my cookie donors Maricarmen, Stephania, and Josie, and also to my dog, m.u.f.fin. My sweetest, bravest, most adorable girl in the world pa.s.sed away this week, which was why this chapter was so late in coming. I really have to give a special thanks to you guys for the sweets this time. I was having a hard time and goodness knows sometimes eating your feelings is the only thing that can even try to help. So thank you. And, on that depressing note, here is your chapter ❤ (Which was thankfully not depressing.)
My Servant Explains His Preferred Type
Ashley continued to ask me about what had been written in the letter, but I was spared from having to answer him by a man suddenly stampeding into the room.
“Cecile! I"m sorry I wasn"t there to welcome you home,” cries Father as he scoops me up into a hug so tight that it squeezes the breath right out of me. He is dressed in the casual clothes he typically wears when he is walking around the town, and is breathing so hard that I"m sure he must have run all the way here.
“It"s good to see you, Father.”
We kiss each other"s cheeks and then he pulls back to look at me, smiling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his chest.
“As soon as I heard you were home I wanted to drop everything and rush over here, but I couldn"t since I"d been working with Duke Randolph this time. Oh, that"s right, I seem to have heard somewhere that you have gotten quite close with his son.”
Ashley springs up from his chair after hearing this, sending it clattering to the ground behind him. He"s been doing this so often recently that the crash this time sounded like the chair was ready fall apart at any moment.
“Welcome back, Master.”
He says, looking over at Father sharply. He walks over to help him off with his coat, but then turns that piercing stare on me, looking as if he has something he really wants to say. Father just had to say that right after I finished telling Ashley that we aren"t particularly close. I guess this means the rumors about me and Senpai have spread even to Duke Randolph now.
“Father, Duke Randolph"s son is merely an uppercla.s.sman. It seems that he called my name once during a conversation and now everyone is just imagining there is something between us.”
I wonder why he mentioned me to Father? I can"t imagine what circ.u.mstances could have prompted him to talk about me.
“There"s got to be more to it than that, since the Duke told me that his son wrote you a love letter just recently.”
As he says this, his eyes glance meaningfully down at the letter that I still have clutched in my hand. Don"t tell me that guy just nonchalantly wrote the letter right in front of his father! No, even he"s not that careless….. Most likely, his father saw it after Senpai had already pa.s.sed the letter along to his steward. His father must have just noticed that the address was to his “Beloved Cecile” and took note of it.
“You"re clutching that letter so tightly, like you never want to let it go…..”
Am not. It seems like Father"s eyesight is going bad.
“I guess even you are planning to leave me some day.”
While that is probably true, I will certainly not be leaving Father just to stay by Senpai"s side.
At this point, Ashley"s gaze on me has turned painful. Even though I have been denying any sort of relationship this forcefully, these two just won"t seem to accept it. Ever since Father joined in on our conversation, I feel like Ashley"s suspicions have just gotten worse and worse. And I haven"t even lied about anything! (Well, maybe just a little, tiny bit…)
“This letter……”
Even though Senpai did such a fine job writing this letter in j.a.panese, and although he had some decent information to report….. it"s caused Ashley to start doubting me and Father to misunderstand! It"s not worth this.
Since there are three sheets to go through, the sound comes out quite low. rip rip rip
I tear up the letter right then and there. Father and Ashley are both staring at me dumbfounded, but I just ignore them as I shred the darn thing to pieces and then fling them in trash.
“….was about nothing interesting.”
Father"s face turns disinterested in the whole subject after hearing this, but Ashley continues to look at me unconvinced.
＊＊＊
A while later, Ashley invited me out to see the garden, so for the first time in a while we are now walking around and admiring the flowers together. It seems that while I wasn"t here, Ashley had continued to carefully tend to all of the plants and now that Spring is officially here, the garden is in full bloom.
Father once mentioned to us that all of the watering and weeding could be done much more easily if we simply used a low-level levitation spell, but even as children we rejected that idea. We told him that there would be no meaning behind us doing the work ourselves unless we did it by hand, so we didn"t use magic.
In actual fact though, I just was not talented enough in magic to be able to perform such a spell without exhausting all of my energy, so I stubbornly continued to weed and water only with my own two hands. I"m sure that Ashley also realized that fact, and merely went along with my stubbornness out of concern for me.
Even though I have since developed my abilities enough to properly use such magic without too much strain, I still refuse to use it. Blame it on the traces of obstinacy from all these years of enjoying the manual labor. And though Ashley could have easily switched over to magical care while I was gone, I figured he understood how I felt on the matter, and thus decided to continue doing all the tasks himself out of courtesy to me. Even now, as we are walking through the garden, he is still getting his hands dirty to pull any weeds he sees as we pa.s.s by them.
“Was it…. important?” asks Ashley, nearly imperceptibly. His voice cracked in the middle and then became very quiet at the end, but somehow I was still able to make out what he said.
“Was what important?”
“The letter…”
He no longer seems displeased but rather distracted, like his heart is somewhere else.
“You should carefully store such precious things, so that you don"t lose them. That was, after all, the first letter that Ojousama received from her beloved. If you just throw it away like that, in the future you"ll regret not having held onto it.”
“First of all, he"s not my beloved. Second of all, I"ve already shredded it.”
“It"s still possible for us to put the pieces back together again.”
I"ve already grasped the gist of the message…. Or rather, how could I forget such important information? There"s really no need for me to keep the letter at this point. Besides, even if Ashley and Father hadn"t seen me reading the letter, forcing me to dispose of it right then and there, it"s the type of thing that I would have gotten rid of anyway so that it couldn"t fall into the wrong hands.
“It"s really not important enough to hold onto. If we"re talking about yours or Father"s letters, those of course I have to keep and cherish, but I have no such desire to do so with this letter.”
I tell him that sometimes I like to go back and reread the ones that Ashley sent to me, and his eyes widen just a little bit.
“Master also makes sure to carefully store all of the letters that you send to him.”
“I figured as much. He"s that sort of overly doting parent after all.”
Ashley also tells me that Father keeps them all in a vault, but I pretend not to hear that part. I think it"s rude to Father to hear just how excessive his affections are for me… So, let"s just say I heard nothing!
“I also…. haven"t carelessly thrown any of Ojousama"s letters away.”
“Thank you.”
“From my perspective, it was the natural thing to do.”
“Nevertheless, that makes me happy,” I say, and though I know he"s no longer a child, I can"t help but ruffle his hair out of habit.
Ashley"s eyebrow"s wrinkle a bit at this as he seizes my hand and removes it from his head. I guess he"s finally going through the rebellious stage of p.u.b.erty now.
“I"m not a child anymore.”
“I suppose that"s true,” I say, trying to apologize, but instead of being placated by it, Ashley"s whole body stiffens and he holds in his breath for a moment. Since he was still holding my arm, his sudden movement nearly threw me off balance, jerking me toward him and reminding me that just with his sheer strength alone, I can"t really treat him like a child anymore. I can"t help but admire how strong he really is, despite being so thin still.
“If you keep touching me so carelessly, I"ll be very troubled. I"m already strong enough to be able to pin you down. I could sully you. I"m not some powerless child anymore, Ojousama.”
Pin me down? Sully me? Is he really that mad? If he did pin me down in the garden, I guess I would get quite dirty.
“Even at the best of times, during this year that I"ve been unable to see you my thoughts were becoming worse. I really had no idea when I might lose control of myself.”
Is he seriously that mad that I didn"t come back home during my last break? Even Father has gotten over it by now. He did flick me on the forehead and scold that I should have come back home for a visit, but that put an end to it.
But Ashley seems livid right now, like he might snap at any moment. His face looks almost pained from having to hold himself back.
“Ashley, please don"t be mad. Cheer up!”
“When you find someone precious, if you don"t lock them away, you"ll end up regretting it. But for some reason, no matter what, I just couldn"t do it. And even after a year went by, they finally returned to my side, but I still managed to keep my control and endure. Though if I had it my way, then I wouldn"t allow them to leave my sight for even a second. But can I do? I don"t have anywhere to put them…. I have no place that I can shut them away in, so all I can do is continue to endure….”
The conversation seems to be getting more and more off topic. I have no idea what he"s even talking about anymore.
“Did I make some sort of mistake though? If I take my eyes away from them for even a moment, they might get s.n.a.t.c.hed away from me,” he says in an agonized voice, as if the words are being forced out of his lips against his will. At the same time, Ashley"s grip tightens on my arm and he steps in to me and buries his face into my hair.
“But I have not the means nor ability to lock them away. So before they are stolen from me, shouldn"t I break them? Destroy them? Stop their and my time while they"re are still mine?”
“Ashley? What"s wrong? You"re shaking.”
“Don"t abandon me.”
With his lips near my ear, I was able to clearly hear his words.
“Please, don"t throw me away.”
“Why are you saying such a thing? There"s no way I would ever throw you away. I"ll be together with you for as long as you want me to be.”
Ashley slowly draws a little away, his eyes narrowing as he stares at me. His face bears a very complicated looking expression.
“At some point, just staying by my side is no longer going to be enough for me.”
He says in the same tiny voice as before, but this time his mouth is not right next to my ear, so I can"t make out what he says at all. He said it so quietly that I don"t think he actually meant for me to be able to hear it anyway, though. It must not have been very important.
“Please don"t be sad, Ashley. Those sorts of expressions spoil your pretty face.”
“….. I"ve already told you that I don"t like being called cute. Being called pretty is not much better.”
I once again start bringing my hand up to stroke his hair but he s.n.a.t.c.hes it out of the air so fast, his hand makes a clapping sound as it hits my skin. That actually hurt quite a bit, Ashley.
“And what about Duke Randolph"s son…..”
“We"re still talking about him? We will say ‘hi" if we pa.s.s each other in the halls, but that"s about it. That"s the extent of our relationship. If you can"t take my word for it, you should confirm it with your own eyes, since you"ll be coming to school with me once the break is over.”
Ashley tosses an earthworm that had wriggled up from the gra.s.s into the flowerbeds. His face has gone back to its usual expressionless mask, and he continues the conversation as if he"s disinterested in it now.
“Weren"t you planning to get rid of me once I"m there by pushing me onto some other girl? That girl you wrote about in that letter to me.”
“……?”
The letters I wrote to Ashley were always about the seasons changing or food or how my studying was going…. I never wrote one about a girl…. I don"t even have any female friends to begin with, and I don"t remember ever discussing romance with Ashley.
“Black hair, short stature, like a baby animal….”
“Oh…… Ohhh!”
Leila Morton!!
“I can"t believe you remembered that so well. I was the one who wrote it, but even I forgot about it.”
“I remember every single word you wrote to me. It is a letter from my own master after all.”
I feel like Ashley is the only servant who would ever feel the need to memorize their master"s letters word for word like that. I doubt any other servants would even try to go through the trouble of it.
“That didn"t have any sort of deep meaning to it….”
“Then what was your intention when you wrote it?”
That"s not something I can really say. How could I tell you that I"m worried that once you finally lay eyes on that lovely girl that you"ll turn into a love-crazed lunatic?
Definitely can"t say that…. So how should I answer him….?
“I was curious about what type of girl you liked.”
That"s not a lie. I was indeed a bit curious to know that. As an elder sister caring for her adorable little brother, it is also my duty to make sure he"s not going to be hurt by some tragic unrequited love.
“!”
“Ashley?”
Did his face just slacken a bit? I can"t really see a difference, but somehow it looked that way to me…
“So… does that mean you were interested in me, Ojousama?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
Or perhaps, rather than saying that I cared for him out of interest, it would be more accurate to say it was out of my affection for him. I guess I must have never told him that before.
Even though Ashley is still expressionless, the atmosphere around him is quickly brightening up. He seems like he"s finally not in a bad mood anymore.
“I…. see…. So, that girl you mentioned was merely an example, nothing more, and you mentioned her because you wanted to know about my romantic preferences? Because you wanted to know more about me?”
His voice is a tiny bit higher than normal. When I nod, his aura changes from just being bright into something soft and gentle.
“Well then….. I prefer brown hair and someone a bit taller than average. I like dense girls who aren"t afraid to speak their mind and take matters into their own hands.”
You already told me all that in your letter, Ashley. But it"s fine. He"s talking about all this so seriously, there"s no way I can stop him. Besides, it"s so rare to see him talking so animatedly.
“Also, instead of big, round eyes, it would be nice if they are thinner and more angular. I think having white skin is beautiful. And girls who are always doing their best at any task are captivating. If she really cares for her family, I also find that charming. I"m attracted to girls who are very sensitive. I would like it if they are willing to cry for someone else"s sake. So, all in all, I like girls who have a beautiful heart.”
“O…kay…”
Unexpectedly, he has quite a lot of expectations. But it"s fine. Unlike the other guys I know, he at least didn"t mention anything about b.r.e.a.s.t.s. How refreshing and lovely.
“And….. let"s see…..”
“I think that"s enough, Ashley. I reeeally got it.”
With so many expectations, I"m starting to wonder if his ideal woman actually exists in this world….
“In other words, your perfect girl is not someone who will be easy to find, right?”
“And she should have great legs.”
So he didn"t mention the chest, but he does want her to have nice legs…. That makes me a bit sad, Ashley. But, well, he is a man after all.
“Her chest should–“
“You don"t need to tell me that!”
Where has my adorable little Ashley gone? If I hear anymore, he"s going to end up on the same level as that rude cla.s.smate and indelicate uppercla.s.sman of mine.
“I don"t think that"s very good, Ashley. You shouldn"t judge people just based off of their appearances.”
“…….? To say that I"m judging based off of appearances is pretty funny…. Because I am basing all of these off a specific model…. If Ojousama had huge eyes, then I would have said that was my preference…..”
“What are you muttering about, Ashley?”
“Nothing!” he says, clapping a hand over his mouth. He lowers his head looking extremely worried, the wrinkle in his brow so deep that it looked engraved into his forehead.
“Did you understand what I was saying, Cecile-Ojousama?”
“……?”
“I"ll take that as a no….”
T/N: Well, we are finally seeing the slightly scary yandere side to Ashley. Reading through that kind of gave me chills XD And poor Cecile has no idea that she"s practically poking a sleeping bear basically this whole chapter haha. Since Gray-Senpai was able to pick up on dangerous vibes from Oswell, I am super excited to see his insights when he sees how Ashley is acting ❤
On another note, the results of the poll are in! Most people think the hidden character is Oswell. We shall see if you guys are right! (Me included hahaha) But there were also some pretty funny answers as well! Cecile"s dad would be a fearsome hidden character indeed! Or Cecile herself! Giving her a route to living a happy-ever-after in the game ? Or, “They are all the hidden characters because p.u.b.erty has driven all the natives mad” LOL. Not sure what to make of this, but it brought me joy haha.
Lastly, please don"t be sad, but here"s some pictures of my baby girl. She had a long and good life of good food and barking at stuff and running around. And now, up in doggy heaven, I"m sure she is still enjoying all of that. I put these here only because I need a part of her to still be with me. You can think of Leila Morton as a black version of this adorable girly if you want to tie it in to the story!