[_Holding DIMPLE._
DIMPLE. Hold him, hold him,--I can command my pa.s.sion.
_Enter JONATHAN._
JONATHAN. What the rattle ails you? Is the old one in you? let the Colonel alone, can"t you? I feel chock full of fight,--do you want to kill the Colonel?--
MANLY. Be still, Jonathan; the gentleman does not want to hurt me.
JONATHAN. Gor! I--I wish he did; I"d shew him yankee boys play, pretty quick.--Don"t you see you have frightened the young woman into the _hystrikes_?
VAN ROUGH. Pray, some of you explain this; what has been the occasion of all this racket?
MANLY. That gentleman can explain it to you; it will be a very diverting story for an intended father-in-law to hear.
VAN ROUGH. How was this matter, Mr. Van Dumpling?
DIMPLE. Sir,--upon my honour,--all I know is, that I was talking to this young lady, and this gentleman broke in on us in a very extraordinary manner.
VAN ROUGH. Why, all this is nothing to the purpose; can you explain it, Miss? [_To CHARLOTTE._]
_Enter LEt.i.tIA_ [_through the back scene_].
LEt.i.tIA. I can explain it to that gentleman"s confusion. Though long betrothed to your daughter [_To VAN ROUGH._], yet, allured by my fortune, it seems (with shame do I speak it) he has privately paid his addresses to me. I was drawn in to listen to him by his a.s.suring me that the match was made by his father without his consent, and that he proposed to break with Maria, whether he married me or not. But, whatever were his intentions respecting your daughter, sir, even to me he was false; for he has repeated the same story, with some cruel reflections upon my person, to Miss Manly.
JONATHAN. What a tarnal curse!
LEt.i.tIA. Nor is this all, Miss Manly. When he was with me this very morning, he made the same ungenerous reflections upon the weakness of your mind as he has so recently done upon the defects of my person.
JONATHAN. What a tarnal curse and d.a.m.n, too!
DIMPLE. Ha! since I have lost Let.i.tia, I believe I had as good make it up with Maria. Mr. Van Rough, at present I cannot enter into particulars; but, I believe, I can explain everything to your satisfaction in private.
VAN ROUGH. There is another matter, Mr. Van Dumpling, which I would have you explain:--pray, sir, have Messrs. Van Cash & Co. presented you those bills for acceptance?
DIMPLE. The deuce! Has he heard of those bills! Nay, then, all"s up with Maria, too; but an affair of this sort can never prejudice me among the ladies; they will rather long to know what the dear creature possesses to make him so agreeable. [_Aside._] Sir, you"ll hear from me. [_To MANLY._]
MANLY. And you from me, sir.--
DIMPLE. Sir, you wear a sword.--
MANLY. Yes, sir. This sword was presented to me by that brave Gallic hero, the Marquis DE LA FAYETTE. I have drawn it in the service of my country, and in private life, on the only occasion where a man is justified in drawing his sword, in defence of a lady"s honour. I have fought too many battles in the service of my country to dread the imputation of cowardice. Death from a man of honour would be a glory you do not merit; you shall live to bear the insult of man and the contempt of that s.e.x whose general smiles afforded you all your happiness.
DIMPLE. You won"t meet me, sir? Then I"ll post you for a coward.
MANLY. I"ll venture that, sir. The reputation of my life does not depend upon the breath of a Mr. Dimple. I would have you to know, however, sir, that I have a cane to chastise the insolence of a scoundrel, and a sword and the good laws of my country to protect me from the attempts of an a.s.sa.s.sin.--
DIMPLE. Mighty well! Very fine, indeed! Ladies and gentlemen, I take my leave; and you will please to observe, in the case of my deportment, the contrast between a gentleman who has read Chesterfield and received the polish of Europe, and an unpolished, untravelled American.
[_Exit._
_Enter MARIA._
MARIA. Is he indeed gone?--
LEt.i.tIA. I hope, never to return.
VAN ROUGH. I am glad I heard of those bills; though it"s plaguy unlucky; I hoped to see Mary married before I died.
MANLY. Will you permit a gentleman, sir, to offer himself as a suitor to your daughter? Though a stranger to you, he is not altogether so to her, or unknown in the city. You may find a son-in-law of more fortune, but you can never meet with one who is richer in love for her, or respect for you.
VAN ROUGH. Why, Mary, you have not let this gentleman make love to you without my leave?
MANLY. I did not say, sir--
MARIA. Say, sir!--I--the gentleman, to be sure, met me accidentally.
VAN ROUGH. Ha, ha, ha! Mark me, Mary; young folks think old folks to be fools; but old folks know young folks to be fools. Why, I knew all about this affair:--This was only a cunning way I had to bring it about. Hark ye! I was in the closet when you and he were at our house. [_Turns to the company._] I heard that little baggage say she loved her old father, and would die to make him happy! Oh! how I loved the little baggage!--And you talked very prudently, young man. I have inquired into your character, and find you to be a man of punctuality and mind the main chance. And so, as you love Mary, and Mary loves you, shall have my consent immediately to be married. I"ll settle my fortune on you, and go and live with you the remainder of my life.
MANLY. Sir, I hope--
VAN ROUGH. Come, come, no fine speeches; mind the main chance, young man, and you and I shall always agree.
LEt.i.tIA. I sincerely wish you joy [_Advancing to MARIA._]; and hope your pardon for my conduct.
MARIA. I thank you for your congratulations, and hope we shall at once forget the wretch who has given us so much disquiet, and the trouble that he has occasioned.
CHARLOTTE. And I, my dear Maria,--how shall I look up to you for forgiveness? I, who, in the practice of the meanest arts, have violated the most sacred rights of friendship? I can never forgive myself, or hope charity from the world; but, I confess, I have much to hope from such a brother; and I am happy that I may soon say, such a sister.
MARIA. My dear, you distress me; you have all my love.
MANLY. And mine.
CHARLOTTE. If repentance can ent.i.tle me to forgiveness, I have already much merit; for I despise the littleness of my past conduct. I now find that the heart of any worthy man cannot be gained by invidious attacks upon the rights and characters of others;--by countenancing the addresses of a thousand;--or that the finest a.s.semblage of features, the greatest taste in dress, the genteelest address, or the most brilliant wit, cannot eventually secure a coquette from contempt and ridicule.
MANLY. And I have learned that probity, virtue, honour, though they should not have received the polish of Europe, will secure to an honest American the good graces of his fair countrywomen, and, I hope, the applause of THE PUBLIC.
_The End._
FOOTNOTES:
[4] The omitted pa.s.sages in the First Edition, indicated by inverted commas, are here enclosed in heavy brackets.
[5] A page reproduction of the original music is given in the Dunlap reprint of this play.