So you see your experience has not been by any means unique; and I really don"t think that you have any ethical ground for complaint. The lady considered you, quite erroneously of course, to be too inexperienced, and having told you so in a letter that is by no means ungraceful, has called in another pract.i.tioner. He may be, as you say, an ignorant old rotter. But that is irrelevant. And the fact that you are a loc.u.m tenens doesn"t, I think, alter the situation.
After all, we are merely the servants of the public, in spite of our M.D."s and our hospital appointments. And we must face the fact with as much philosophy as we can gather about us. If they don"t want us, well, they won"t have us, and there"s the bitter end of it. Coming fresh from the hospital, where one has been, perhaps, a house-surgeon or house-physician, into the entirely different atmosphere of private practice, it is sometimes a bit hard to realise this, and the process is always a painful one. For between the house-surgeon, clad in white, backed up by the acc.u.mulated authority and tradition of his hospital, surrounded by satellite nurses, and perhaps (dare I breathe it?) a wee bit lordly, and the very young man, in a new frock-coat, who will be ushered next week by a curious parlour-maid into a private drawing-room, there is all the difference in the world.
Moreover you seem to have got yourself into the sort of practice that for a young man is perhaps the most difficult to manage--a practice consisting almost entirely of prosperous and middle-cla.s.s patients. I am not using the term middle-cla.s.s--it is one that I particularly hate--in any derogatory sense, but _faute de mieux_ as describing the very large stratum of society that pivots upon the shop-counter or the offices behind it. It is a stratum, as you will be sure to find out pretty soon, as kindly, honest, and really considerate as any other, and no less lacking in heroism and endurance. But it is one that has not yet fully acquired perhaps the habit of emotional suppression--the latest to be developed in social evolution--and is consequently a little addicted to superlatives, and still somewhat over-respectful, no doubt, to such mere externals as eloquence and millinery in other people. On the other hand it possesses an extremely accurate appreciation of the cash value of services rendered, and its consideration for a gentleman is by no means going to interfere with this when he comes before them as a salesman of physic and incidentally of advice. Moreover--and it"s no good being hypersensitive about it--we mustn"t forget that we too, as a profession, have but lately differentiated ourselves from the ranks of retail commerce--so lately, in fact, that the barber tradition is far from being entirely defunct.
I can remember very well, for instance, in my first loc.u.m, a fortnight after I had qualified, standing behind the counter of a little surgery in Shadwell in response to a patient who had tapped upon it loudly with the edge of his shilling, and summoned me with a call of "Shop." Would I take out his tooth for sixpence? No, I wouldn"t. A shilling was the recognised fee for this operation. Well, what about ninepence? No, not even for ninepence.
"Orl right, guv"nor, "eave away then," and the shilling went into the till, while the tooth, neatly wrapped in paper, was borne homewards for domestic inspection. Nor are such incidents by any means uncommon even to-day, and they add excellent lessons to those of Winchester and New.
Then, too, you mustn"t overlook the fact that mere youth itself is under a greater disadvantage in medicine than in almost any other profession.
The idea of a young advocate may fire the imagination. The idea of a young doctor only suggests distrust. A young lawyer, having the keener wit of youth, may be a safe adviser in our legal dilemmas. The young officer is the marrow of our army and navy. We may even venture to entrust our souls for spiritual guidance to some earnest young priest.
But when it comes to our bodies, to the actual tenements that contain us, to such intimate events as percussion, palpation, the administration of tonics, or the insertion of knife and forceps--why then, you know, we must really insist upon maturity.
Your mere boys may administer our properties, or defend our countries, or even dally gently with our souls. But when it comes to our actual flesh and blood--well, we prefer the a.s.sistant or the loc.u.m to confine his attentions to the servants, the children, or the very poor. There are exceptions to the rule, no doubt. But I"m afraid that you will find it a very general one. I know that I did. And about the only comfort to be extracted from it is the fact that it may be regarded as an excellent medium for the acquirement of humility. And that"s why, if your brothers in the Church or the Army become more lowly in spirit than yourself, it must be taken to argue in them a greater endowment of natural grace.
For their teaching, in this respect, is not likely, I think, to be more thorough than yours. At the same time, there are, as you have just been finding out, some rather bitter moments for the newly fledged medico. I remember once, when I was about twenty-four, I think, and doing a loc.u.m in Portsmouth, being called up for the third night in succession to attend a confinement. It was three o"clock in the morning, and the night-bell stirred me out of the profoundest depths of slumber. Very weary, and very bleary, I remember cursing myself by all my G.o.ds for having set my hand to so laborious a plough as the pursuit of healing.
But later, walking grimly down the empty streets in a pallid drizzle of rain, a certain sense of heroism came to my rescue. After all, it _was_ rather a n.o.ble thing to be doing; and no doubt my patient would be proportionately grateful. As a matter of solemn fact, on setting eyes upon me, she lifted up her voice, and wept incontinently.
It was a perfectly natural thing to do, of course, in the light of after reflection. She had expected to see the genial, middle-aged physician who had so often attended her; and behold, in his stead, a pale-faced boy who might very nearly have been her son! It was no wonder that she burst into tears. But it was rather a blow for the poor hero.
Afterwards, I think, having both made the best of a bad job, and observed an all-wise Nature introduce to us an entirely normal baby, we became quite friendly. And you will generally find, if you know your work, and refrain from dogma, that a little patience will heal most of these differences, while the cause of them, alas, will depart readily enough. It is good, no doubt, to be considered a wise old codger. But the pearl that pays for it is of great price. So don"t be in too much of a hurry to part with it.
Your affect. uncle, PETER HARDING.
IX
_To Harry Carthew, Trenant Hotel, Leeds._
91B HARLEY STREET, W., _April_ 15, 1910.
MY DEAR CARTHEW,
I am very glad. But let me put it to you, sir--that _is_ the phrase, isn"t it?--that you really cured yourself.
Yrs. very sincerely, PETER HARDING.
X
_To the Rev. Bruce Harding, S. Peter"s College, Morecambe Bay._
91B HARLEY STREET, W., _April_ 20, 1910.
MY DEAR BRUCE,
The whole subject is so difficult, and one"s opinions upon it, in cold ink as it were, are so liable to be misread, that I wish we could have had a quiet talk about it instead. But of course, since you cannot leave the school until the May holiday begins, and will have, if you decide to take so radical a step, to write to the boys" parents in India and Egypt, this is quite impossible. From your letter I seem to gather that this was your intention at the time of writing, and it is a decision in which I can sympathise with you very deeply.
For the whole ten years during which the school has been in your charge it has, to your almost certain knowledge, and according also to the testimony of many of your old pupils, been absolutely free from this "moral canker," as you describe it, that you have just discovered in it now. And even for a preparatory school, like yours, this is a record for which you are right to be profoundly thankful. It is one also that naturally throws up into a blacker relief the present condition of affairs. Moreover, having discovered its sphere to be at present fairly circ.u.mscribed--confined apparently to a single coterie of some half a dozen boys--the obvious course, as you say, would seem to be a prompt and thorough excision, _pro bono publico_.
And yet I believe that there"s a better way--so much better that I am sure, before receiving this, you will have already found it, and abandoned your first decision. You won"t expel the youngsters. You"ll create instead a public feeling that will cure them. And you"ll distribute them in such a way that each will be surrounded by it to his best advantage. I feel so certain that you"ll have already made up your mind to do this that I won"t put in any special pleading on behalf of these particular nippers or their parents abroad, although I sincerely believe that in taking so drastic a step as you suggest in your letter you would not only be magnifying their offence out of all proportion, but that the result all round would be more than harmful.
Instead, the point that I would most urgently put before you--in spite of many an old drawn battle upon the subject--is that the present little crisis would be an excellent excuse for reconsidering your position as regards giving to your scholars some definite physiological instruction.
Because I am quite convinced that at least three-quarters of your moral canker would more properly be defined as physiological curiosity and that the whole problem is only secondarily one of actual perversity. Now your custom up to the present has had, I"ll admit, a great deal to recommend it. For your boys come to you very young, usually at the age of nine or ten, shy and imaginative enough perhaps, but for the most part mentally s.e.xless, and with an almost entirely objective outlook upon life. In other words, their inquisitiveness is eccentric rather than concentric. It"s a happy condition, and one, as you say, that must be dealt with exceedingly carefully. When they leave you, somewhere about fourteen or fifteen years old, you usually take the opportunity of the good-bye interview to give them some warnings as to confronting moral dangers. But purposely, for fear of prematurely dissipating a desirable innocence, or awakening what you call an illegitimate curiosity, you keep your advice to generalities in all but the rarest instances. The possible stimulus to dangerous self-exploration in some unsuspecting youngster has always outweighed for you the advantages of a too direct explanation.
And this is where, in spite of your ten years" immunity, I feel sure that your methods have fallen short of the best. Self-exploration is only dangerous when it"s blind, and if self-curiosity is ever illegitimate--and I don"t see why it should be--we both know that some day or another it is going to become inevitable. We know more, because we are fully aware that some day or another it is going to be satisfied.
And for the life of me I cannot see why mere physiological ignorance shouldn"t be dispelled in the same routine that is employed for dispelling any other sort of ignorance, mathematical, historical, or what you will. It can be done, I am quite certain, without rubbing a particle off the sweet bloom of childhood, and it will go a very long way in preserving from a much ruder handling that of adolescence and early manhood. For it seems to me that the very fact of refraining from any definite instruction upon what, after all, from the purely physical point of view, is the bed-rock of our _raison d"etre_, lends the subject in advance precisely that air of unnecessary and even shameful mystery which is responsible for about nine-tenths of our prudery on the one hand, and our obscenity on the other.
There"s so little original in these reflections, they represent the att.i.tude of so large a number of ordinarily thoughtful persons, that they may probably bore you. But, on the other hand, although there"s a good deal of educational spade-work still before us, the day will certainly come, I think, when we shall treat and teach s.e.xual phenomena in the same sane and self-consciousless way as we treat and teach the principles of personal cleanliness and physical hygiene. It will be a great day--may it come soon--and with its dawning will disappear not only the entire stock-in-trade of a not uncommon type of smoking-room raconteur, but a very considerable portion of actual and imaginative immorality. For if you cover up anything long enough, and refer to it slyly enough, you can be certain in the end of making its exposure indecent. If gloves became _de rigueur_ for a couple of centuries we should raise prurient t.i.tters at the mention of a knuckle. No; it"s air and sunlight and the salt of a bracing sanity in these matters that is our crying need.
"The sea," says Mr. Stacpoole in his clever romance "The Blue Lagoon,"
"is a great purifier," and proceeds, in a little piece of delicate and absolutely true psychology, to describe how d.i.c.k, the derelict boy on the coral island, instinctively ran naked with his sister in the presence of winds and waves, although some impulse, born probably of memory, bade him cover himself inland. But his decency was the same in either place.
And it"s the sea air of a healthy knowledge and acceptance of these matters that we ought to be pumping through our schoolrooms, our dormitories, and our heart-to-heart talks with our children. Approach them frankly enough, and with no semblance of shamefacedness, and we needn"t be afraid, I think, of any evil consequences. The guilty smile, the illicit joke, become disarmed in advance when their subject is treated in the same matter-of-fact and unmysterious fashion as those of geography or astronomy. And that is why, on the whole, I am opposed to the average "purity" volumes that are published for purposes of s.e.xual instruction. For though they acknowledge this to be the solution of a large portion of the problem, they are so written, circulated, and advertised as to suggest rather an initiation into the unspeakable than a straightforward piece of natural history. And I suspect, as a consequence, that their sales are considerably larger among the prurient than the pious. An older generation was brought up on "Reading without tears." The next should have a companion volume "Biology without shame."
Forgive this sermon, but I have been confronted just lately with such a lot of human mental wreckage, the direct result, in my opinion, of the half-religious, half-fearful shrouds with which we always swaddle up these questions, that I rejoice in an opportunity for their wholesale condemnation. It was Mrs. Craigie, I think, who said that every girl of eighteen should read "Tom Jones." And one can see why, for it is a clean and wholesome history, if a little unspiritual. But her education, like her brother"s, should not be left haphazard to the chance reading of a novel, or to the unnecessary blushes with which she ponders certain pa.s.sages of Scripture.
Well, good-bye, old man, and G.o.d bless you. Chat it all over with the young sinners, and then work out a little course of lectures upon the reproduction of species. If you have never talked collectively to a roomful of boys upon the subject before, you will be surprised at the rapt interest and genuine solemnity with which they will attend to what you have to tell them. And the purity of your school won"t suffer, I think, by its change of foundations.
Your affect. cousin, PETER HARDING.
XI
_To Miss Josephine Summers, The Cottage, Potham, Beds._
91B HARLEY STREET, W., _April_ 22, 1910.
MY DEAR AUNT JOSEPHINE,
I am glad to hear that the ring has been so completely successful in driving away the pains from your joints. I haven"t actually heard of the wearing of a ring round the waist for pains elsewhere. But, as you say, it sounds a distinctly hopeful idea. With regard to the pills, so much depends, of course, on what you mean by being worth a guinea. If you are to measure these benefits in actual cash, I believe this amounts to about three farthings. But perhaps that is an unfair standard. No, I don"t think that there is the least risk in taking four. I am sorry to hear of your gardener"s troubles. But I should hardly have thought that it would be necessary to send him to Torquay. Has it ever occurred to you to suggest that he should sign the pledge?
Your affect. nephew, PETER HARDING.
XII
_To Tom Harding, c/o the Rev. Arthur Jake Rugby._