Pyecraft received the thing almost in tears. "To be right ways up again----" he said.
I gave him the whole secret before I saw where it would take me. "Buy sheet lead," I said, "stamp it into discs. Sew "em all over your underclothes until you have enough. Have lead-soled boots, carry a bag of solid lead, and the thing is done! Instead of being a prisoner here you may go abroad again, Pyecraft; you may travel----"
A still happier idea came to me. "You need never fear a shipwreck. All you need do is just slip off some or all of your clothes, take the necessary amount of luggage in your hand, and float up in the air----"
In his emotion he dropped the tack-hammer within an ace of my head. "By Jove!" he said, "I shall be able to come back to the club again."
"The thing pulled me up short. By Jove!" I said, faintly. "Yes. Of course--you will."
He did. He does. There he sits behind me now, stuffing--as I live!--a third go of b.u.t.tered teacake. And no one in the whole world knows--except his housekeeper and me---that he weighs practically nothing; that he is a mere boring ma.s.s of a.s.similatory matter, mere clouds in clothing, _niente, nefas_, the most inconsiderable of men. There he sits watching until I have done this writing. Then, if he can, he will waylay me. He will come billowing up to me...
He will tell me over again all about it, how it feels, how it doesn"t feel, how he sometimes hopes it is pa.s.sing off a little. And always somewhere in that fat, abundant discourse he will say, "The secret"s keeping, eh? If any one knew of it--I should be so ashamed... Makes a fellow look such a fool, you know. Crawling about on a ceiling and all that..."
And now to elude Pyecraft, occupying, as he does, an admirable strategic position between me and the door.
XXIX.
THE MAGIC SHOP.
I had seen the Magic Shop from afar several times; I had pa.s.sed it once or twice, a shop window of alluring little objects, magic b.a.l.l.s, magic hens, wonderful cones, ventriloquist dolls, the material of the basket trick, packs of cards that _looked_ all right, and all that sort of thing, but never had I thought of going in until one day, almost without warning, Gip hauled me by my finger right up to the window, and so conducted himself that there was nothing for it but to take him in. I had not thought the place was there, to tell the truth--a modest-sized frontage in Regent Street, between the picture shop and the place where the chicks run about just out of patent incubators,--but there it was sure enough. I had fancied it was down nearer the Circus, or round the corner in Oxford Street, or even in Holborn; always over the way and a little inaccessible it had been, with something of the mirage in its position; but here it was now quite indisputably, and the fat end of Gip"s pointing finger made a noise upon the gla.s.s.
"If I was rich," said Gip, dabbing a finger at the Disappearing Egg, "I"d buy myself that. And that"--which was The Crying Baby, Very Human--"and that," which was a mystery, and called, so a neat card a.s.serted, "Buy One and Astonish Your Friends."
"Anything," said Gip, "will disappear under one of those cones. I have read about it in a book.
"And there, dadda, is the Vanishing Halfpenny--only they"ve put it this way up so"s we can"t see how it"s done."
Gip, dear boy, inherits his mother"s breeding, and he did not propose to enter the shop or worry in any way; only, you know, quite unconsciously, he lugged my finger doorward, and he made his interest clear.
"That," he said, and pointed to the Magic Bottle.
"If you had that?" I said; at which promising inquiry he looked up with a sudden radiance.
"I could show it to Jessie," he said, thoughtful as ever of others.
"It"s less than a hundred days to your birthday, Gibbles," I said, and laid my hand on the door-handle.
Gip made no answer, but his grip tightened on my finger, and so we came into the shop.
It was no common shop this; it was a magic shop, and all the prancing precedence Gip would have taken in the matter of mere toys was wanting. He left the burthen of the conversation to me.
It was a little, narrow shop, not very well lit, and the door-bell pinged again with a plaintive note as we closed it behind us. For a moment or so we were alone and could glance about us. There was a tiger in _papier-mache_ on the gla.s.s case that covered, the low counter--a grave, kind-eyed tiger that waggled his head in a methodical manner; there were several crystal spheres, a china hand holding magic cards, a stock of magic fish-bowls in various sizes, and an immodest magic hat that shamelessly displayed its springs. On the floor were magic mirrors; one to draw you out long and thin, one to swell your head and vanish your legs, and one to make you short and fat like a draught; and while, we were laughing at these the shopman, as I suppose, came in.
At any rate, there he was behind the counter--a curious, sallow, dark man, with one ear larger than the other and a chin like the toe-cap of a boot.
"What can we have the pleasure?" he said, spreading his long magic fingers on the gla.s.s case; and so with a start we were aware of him.
"I want," I said, "to buy my little boy a few simple tricks."
"Legerdemain?" he asked. "Mechanical? Domestic?"
"Anything amusing?" said I.
"Um!" said the shopman, and scratched his head for a moment as if thinking. Then, quite distinctly, he drew from his head a gla.s.s ball.
"Something in this way?" he said, and held it out.
The action was unexpected. I had seen the trick done at entertainments endless times before--it"s part of the common stock of conjurers--but I had not expected it here. "That"s good," I said, with a laugh.
"Isn"t it?" said the shopman.
Gip stretched out his disengaged hand to take this object and found merely a blank palm.
"It"s in your pocket," said the shopman, and there it was!
"How much will that be?" I asked.
"We make no charge for gla.s.s b.a.l.l.s," said the shopman politely. "We get them"--he picked one out of his elbow as he spoke--"free." He produced another from the back of his neck, and laid it beside its predecessor on the counter. Gip regarded his gla.s.s ball sagely, then directed a look of inquiry at the two on the counter, and finally brought his round-eyed scrutiny to the shopman, who smiled. "You may have those two," said the shopman, "and, if you _don"t_ mind one from my mouth. _So!_"
Gip counselled me mutely for a moment, and then in a profound silence put away the four b.a.l.l.s, resumed my rea.s.suring finger, and nerved himself for the next event.
"We get all our smaller tricks in that way," the shopman remarked.
I laughed in the manner of one who subscribes to a jest. "Instead of going to the wholesale shop," I said. "Of course, it"s cheaper."
"In a way," the shopman said. "Though we pay in the end. But not so heavily--as people suppose... Our larger tricks, and our daily provisions and all the other things we want, we get out of that hat... And you know, sir, if you"ll excuse my saying it, there _isn"t_ a wholesale shop, not for Genuine Magic goods, sir. I don"t know if you noticed our inscription--the Genuine Magic Shop." He drew a business card from his cheek and handed it to me. "Genuine," he said, with his finger on the word, and added, "There is absolutely no deception, sir."
He seemed to be carrying out the joke pretty thoroughly, I thought.
He turned to Gip with a smile of remarkable affability. "You, you know, are the Right Sort of Boy."
I was surprised at his knowing that, because, in the interests of discipline, we keep it rather a secret even at home; but Gip received it in unflinching silence, keeping a steadfast eye on him.
"It"s only the Right Sort of Boy gets through that doorway."
And, as if by way of ill.u.s.tration, there came a rattling at the door, and a squeaking little voice could be faintly heard. "Nyar! I _warn_ "a go in there, dadda, I WARN "a go in there. Ny-a-a-ah!" and then the accents of a downtrodden parent, urging consolations and propitiations.
"It"s locked, Edward," he said.
"But it isn"t," said I.
"It is, sir," said the shopman, "always--for that sort of child," and as he spoke we had a glimpse of the other youngster, a little, white face, pallid from sweet-eating and over-sapid food, and distorted by evil pa.s.sions, a ruthless little egotist, pawing at the enchanted pane. "It"s no good, sir," said the shopman, as I moved, with my natural helpfulness, doorward, and presently the spoilt child was carried off howling.
"How do you manage that?" I said, breathing a little more freely.
"Magic!" said the shopman, with a careless wave of the hand, and behold!