"I know. You were afraid then."
"Yes. I was mortally afraid."
Above the lane, on the slope of the foot hills, they could see their farm, a dim grey roof in a ring of ash-trees. A dim green field opened out below it, fan-wise with a wild edge that touched the moor. It seemed to her with her altered memory that it was home they were drawing near.
"George," she said, "you know women as G.o.d knows them; why didn"t you know me? Can"t you see what I was afraid of? What we"re all afraid of?
What we"re eternally trying to escape from? The thing that hunts us down, that turns again and rends us."
"You thought you saw that in me?"
"I don"t see it now."
"Not now," he whispered.
They had come to the porch of the farmhouse. The door stood open. The lamp-light drew them in. He closed the door behind them. She stood facing him as one who waits.
"Not now," he said aloud.
He glanced round. The house and all about it was still.
"If we could always be here, Jinny----"
She turned from him, afraid.
"Why not?" he said, and followed her and took her in his arms.
He pressed back her head with one hand. His face sought hers, the face she knew, with its look of impetuous flight, of curves blown back, the face that seemed to lean forward, breasting the wind of its own speed.
It leaned now, swift to its desire. It covered her face. Its lips were pressed to her lips, lips that drank her breath, that were fierce in their drinking, after their long thirst. She pushed it from her with her two hands and cried out, "Rose, little Rose!"
She struggled from his arms and ran from him, stumbling up the steep stairs. A door opened and shut. He heard her feet go slowly on the floor of her room above him. They reached the bed. She seemed to sink there.
LXIII
That night she knew that she must leave Dartmoor, and go somewhere where George Tanqueray could not follow her and find her. She was mortally afraid of him. He had tracked and hunted her down swiftly and more inevitably than any destroyer or pursuer.
In spite of him, indeed because of him, her pa.s.sion for this solitude of the moors was strong upon her, and she planned to move on the next day into Somerset, to a place on Exmoor that she knew. She would leave very early in the morning before Tanqueray could come to her.
She lay all night staring with hot eyes at the white walls that held her. At daylight she dropped asleep and slept on into the morning. When she woke she faced her purpose wide-eyed and unflinching. Her fear was there also and she faced it.
She was down too late for any train that could take her away before noon, and Tanqueray might come now at any time.
She was so late that the day"s letters waited for her on the window-sill. In her agitation she nearly missed seeing them. One was from Gertrude, fulfilling punctually her pledge, a.s.suring her as usual that all was well. The other was from her brother-in-law, Henry. It was very brief. Henry, after expressing the hope that she continued to benefit by the air of Dartmoor, supposed that she would have heard that Hugh was suffering from a chill he had caught by motoring without an overcoat.
She had not heard it. She read Gertrude"s letter again to make sure.
Among all the things, the absolutely unnecessary things, that Gertrude had mentioned, she had not mentioned that. She had broken her pledge.
They kept things from her, then. Heaven only knew what they had kept.
She read Henry"s letter again. There were no details, but her mind supplied them as it grasped the sense of what he _had_ written. There rose before her instantly a vision of Hugh lying in his bed ill. He had a racing pulse, a flaming temperature. He was in for gastritis, at the least, if it was not pneumonia. She saw with intolerable vividness a long procession of terrors and disasters, from their cause, the chill, down to their remotest consequences. Her imagination never missed one.
And instantly there went from her the pa.s.sion of her solitude, and the splendour of the moors perished around her like an imperfect dream, and her genius that had driven her there and held her let go its hold. It was as if it owned that it was beaten. She had no more fear of it. And she had no more fear of George Tanqueray.
Nothing existed for her but the fear that hung round Brodrick in his bed. This vision of calamity was unspeakable, it was worse than all the calamities that had actually been. It was worse through its significance and premonition than the illness of her little son; it was worse than the loss of her little dead-born daughter; it brought back to her with a more unendurable pang that everlasting warning utterance of Nina"s, "With you--there"ll be no end to your paying." Her heart cried out to powers discerned as implacable, "Anything but that! Anything but that!"
She had missed the first possible train to Waterloo, but there was another from a station five miles distant which would bring her home early in the evening. She packed hurriedly and sent one of the farm people to the village for a fly. Then she paced the room, maddening over the hours that she had still to spare.
Once or twice it occurred to her that perhaps, after all, Hugh was not so very ill. If he had been Henry would have told her. He would have suggested the propriety of her return. And Henry"s brief reference to Dartmoor had suggested continuance rather than return.
But her fear remained with her. It made her forget all about George Tanqueray.
It was the sudden striking of ten o"clock that recalled to her her certainty that he would come. And he was there in the doorway before her mind had time to adjust itself to his appearance.
She fell on him with Hugh"s illness as if it were a weapon and she would have slain him with it.
He stood back and denied the fact she hurled at him. As evidence supporting his denial, he produced his recent correspondence with the editor. He had heard from him that morning, and he was all right then.
Jinny was being "had," he said.
He had not come there to talk about Brodrick, or to think about him. He was not going to let Jinny think about him either.
He had come early because he wanted to find her with all the dreams of the night about her, before her pa.s.sion (he was sure of it) could be overtaken by the mood of the cool morning.
Jinny had begun to pack her ma.n.u.script (she had forgotten it till now) in the leather case it travelled in. She had a hat with a long veil on.
Tanqueray"s gaze took in all this and other more unmistakable signs of her departure.
"What do you think you"re doing?" he said.
"I"m going back."
"Why?"
"Haven"t I told you?"
Positively he had forgotten Brodrick.
He began all over again and continued, tenderly, patiently, with all his cold, ascendant, dispa.s.sionate lucidity, till he had convinced her that her fear was folly.
She was grateful to him for that.
"All the same," she said, "I"m going. I wasn"t going to stay here in any case."
"You were going?"
"Yes."