Then she had another idea.
"Hugh! It"s just occurred to me. Talk of saving! I"ve been saving all the time like fury. I save you Gertrude"s salary."
At this Brodrick became angry, as Jane might have seen, only she was too entirely taken up with her discovery to look at him.
"Here I have been working for months, trying how not to be extravagant, and thinking how incompetent I am and how much more advantageous it would have been for you to have married Gertrude. And I come lots cheaper. I really do. Wasn"t it funny of us never to have thought of it before?"
He was very angry, but he had to smile. Then by way of correction he reminded her that the servants were getting rather slack. Didn"t she think it was about time to haul them up?
She didn"t. She didn"t like the poor things to feel that they were driven. She liked to see happy faces all around her.
"But they"re so unpunctual--those faces," Brodrick said. And while they _were_ on the subject there was the clock. The clock that Gertrude always used to wind, that Brodrick sometimes forgot to wind, but that Jinny never by any chance wound at all.
"I"m happier," said Jane, "when it"s not wound."
"But why----" His face was one vast amazement.
"Because," she said, "it chimes. And it strikes the quarters."
He had thought that was the great merit of his incomparable clock.
She seemed incorrigible. Then, miraculously, for two months all went well, really well.
It was not for nothing that Hambleby sold and was selling. The weekly deficit continued, appalling, palpable even to Jane; but she made it up secretly. Secretly, she seemed to save.
But Brodrick found that out and stopped it. Jane was not allowed, and she knew it, to use her own income for the house or for anything else but herself and her people. It wasn"t for that he had married her.
Besides, he objected to her method. It was too expensive.
Jane was disposed to argue the matter.
"Don"t you see, dear, that it"s the price of peace? Peace is the most expensive thing on this earth--any stupid politician will tell you that.
If you won"t pay for peace, what will you pay for?"
"My dear child, there used to be more peace and considerable less pay when Miss Collett did things."
"Yes. But she was wonderful."
(Her lips lifted at the corners. There was a flash of irony in her tone, this time.)
"Not half so wonderful as you," he said.
"But--Hugh--angel--as long as it"s _me_ who pays----"
"That"s what I won"t have--your paying."
"It"s for _my_ peace," she said.
"It certainly isn"t for mine," said Brodrick.
She considered him pensively. She knew that he didn"t care a rap about the little squat G.o.d, but he abhorred untidiness--in other people.
"Poor darling--how uncomfy he is, with all his little rose-leaves crumpled under him. Irritating him."
She came and hung over him and stroked his hair till he smiled.
"I told you at the time you ought to have married Gertrude. What on earth possessed you to go and marry me?"
He kissed her, just to show what possessed him.
The question of finance was settled by his going into it again and finding out her awful average and making her an allowance large enough to cover it. And at the end of another two months she came to him in triumph.
"Look there," she said. "I"ve saved a halfpenny. It isn"t much, but it shows that I _can_ save when I give my mind to it."
He said he would hang it on his watch-chain and cherish it for ever.
As before, he kissed her. He loved her, as men love a disastrous thing, desperately, because of her divine folly.
In all these things her genius had no part. It was as if they had agreed to ignore it. But people were beginning to talk now of the Event of nineteen-five, the appearance of Hambleby"s successor, said to be greater than Hambleby.
She was conscious then of a misgiving, almost a dread. Still, it hardly concerned her. This book was the work of some one unfamiliar, unrecognizable, forgotten by the happy woman that she was. So immense was the separation between Jane Holland and Jane Brodrick.
She was aware of the imminence of her loss without deploring it. She spoke of it to Brodrick.
They were sitting together, one night in June, under the lime-tree on the lawn, only half visible to each other in the falling darkness.
"Would you mind very much," she said, "if I never wrote anything again?"
He turned to her. "What makes you think you can"t write? (He too had a misgiving.) You"ve plenty of time. You"ve all day, in fact."
"Yes, all day long."
"It"s not as if I bothered you--I say, _they_ don"t bother you, do they?"
She understood him as referring to the frequent, the very frequent incursions of his family.
"You mustn"t let them. You must harden your heart."
"It isn"t they. It isn"t anybody."
"What is it then?"
"Only that everything"s different. I"m different."
He regarded her for a long time. She _was_ different. It was part of her queerness, this capacity she had for being different. He could see nothing now but her wild fawn look, the softness and the flush of life.
It was his miracle on her.
He remained silent, brooding over it. In the stillness she could hear his deep breathing; she could just discern his face, heavy but tender.
"It doesn"t mean that you"re not well, Jinny?" He remembered that once or twice since he had known her it had meant that.