Come along, Teddy, let me offer you the temporary loan of my arm."
Archie interposed.
"Hang it, Reggie, you"re not going! Put the beggar to sleep alongside Gravesend on the rug."
"I"m not going to sleep on the rug," said Teddy, "I hate the rug."
We compromised, putting him to bed on the couch in Archie"s bedroom. It seemed unlikely that he would fall off, since he was asleep before we had the whole of him laid down. While we were together in the bedroom, I said a private word to Archie.
"If you"ll hearken to the wisdom of the wise, old man, you"ll cut it.
You"re not in the vein."
He chose to misunderstand my meaning.
"Do you mean I"m drunk?"
"I think I am--at least too drunk for poker; and too sleepy, also. If you"ll allow me, I"ll get home."
Archie looked at me in the way I knew, all his Scotch temper in his eyes.
"Are you afraid, or broke? Or what the devil"s up?"
Pendarvon called from the next room.
"Are you fellows having a little game by yourselves?"
I jerked my thumb towards Pendarvon as Archie and I went in together.
"That"s just what is up--the devil."
We four went at it again. I reckoned that at that time Archie had lost about two thousand pounds--nearly the whole of it to Pendarvon in IOU"s. His heavier losses all came afterwards. Silvester also lost. He made a very nasty loser. He allowed things to escape his tongue which, under other circ.u.mstances, might have brought the sitting to a prompt and a turbulent close. Pendarvon, to whose address Silvester"s little observations were princ.i.p.ally directed, seemed to take it for granted that the fact of his being three-parts drunk covered a mult.i.tude of sins. For my part, on the whole I won. By degrees, as Silvester"s sulkiness increased, the game resolved itself into a sort of triangular duel. Archie went for Pendarvon, and Pendarvon went for me. As he found, for the most part, that his a.s.saults were unavailing, and that my mood was beatific, Pendarvon began to follow Silvester"s lead and lose his temper. Not, however, on Silvester"s lines. The more enraged he grew, the more he laughed. I knew the gentleman so well.
Archie began to play like a lunatic. Once Silvester declined to come in. I had four knaves; it was the second four hand I had had within a very few minutes. Of course, I started to back it for all I was worth.
What Archie and Pendarvon had was more than I could guess; I did not much care. I felt that, whatever they had, I was about their match. I had taken one card, wishing them to suppose that I had drawn to two pairs. Archie had had two. I took it that he had started with a triplet. Pendarvon had had three; apparently he had opened with a pair.
It seemed from the betting that they had both improved their hands, for neither seemed disposed to tire. The pool crept up to a thousand. Then Archie found fault with the rate of progression.
"Confound this limit! It"s child"s play; we shall be at it all night.
Will either of you see me for 500?"
Pendarvon hesitated, or appeared to.
"Having fixed a limit, isn"t it rather against the rules to travel outside? But, so far as I am personally concerned, I don"t mind seeing your five hundred, and raising you another five. What do you say, Townsend?"
"I object. At this point of the game to change the points in such a fashion would simply be to plunder you. I hold the winning hand."
Archie became excited, and not quite civil.
"That"s rot. I say ditto to Pendarvon, Reggie. Will you pay a thousand to see our hands?"
"I will do this. I will agree to each man tabling a thousand, and showing his hand."
"Done!" Archie scribbled an IOU. "Now, Pen, down with your thousand."
Pendarvon counted out a heap of Archie"s IOU"s, laughing as he did so.
"I hope that"s good enough."
I drew a cheque on a sheet of paper.
"Now, Archie, if you please, let us see your hand."
He faced his cards.
"A straight flush!" he cried.
For a moment he took my breath away. That he could have drawn two cards for a straight flush had not entered into my philosophy. My next feeling was that the thing looked ugly. For a man with a straight flush in his hand to propose to increase the stakes was--well, not the thing.
While words were coming near my lips, Pendarvon leaned towards him.
"Where is your straight flush? Show it us?" Then, with a laugh, "That"s not a straight flush."
Archie stared at his cards.
"What do you mean?" Then, with a shout, "I"m d.a.m.ned if it is!"
As he recognised the fact, he seemed to me to turn quite green, and he swore. In his haste, giving only a single glance at his cards, he had let himself in. It was all but a straight flush--a case of the miss which is as good as a mile. His hand was four, five, seven, eight, and nine of hearts. It was a flush, but not a straight flush--he had overlooked the absence of the six. The curious part of the thing was that he should have drawn to such a hand.
Pendarvon faced his cards.
"I fancy, Archie, that I am better than you."
He was. He had a full. Three aces and a pair of kings. No wonder he had been willing to back his luck. I don"t know what his feelings were when he found that I could show still more.
"Fours. I think that takes it."
It did.
As I scooped the plunder, Silvester rose.
"Show four whenever you like--eh, Townsend?"
His tone was disagreeable, and meant to be.
"I wish I could."
"I should say that your wish was gratified. It occurs to me that this is distinctly a game at which the soberest wins."
We looked at him. He looked back at us. He was evidently in a state of mind in which he was disposed to pick a quarrel with us, either separately or altogether. The thing to do was not to gratify his whim.
He treated Archie to a peculiarly impertinent stare. "That was an odd mistake of yours. I"m drunk, but I"m not drunk enough for that, and I never could be." He gave Pendarvon a turn--"You didn"t choose your cards badly. But it"s only a question of courage. Take my tip, next time you make it fours." He lurched away from the table. "I"m off.
You"re welcome to what you"ve got--cut it up between you."