She put her hand to the flowers again.
"It seems a pity to pick them, even in a good cause," she said.
She was so near me that I could have touched her. A weakness seized me, and speech was farther away than ever. She moved, she sat down and looked at me, and the kind of mocking smile came into her eyes that I knew was the forerunner of raillery.
"There is a statue in the gardens of Versailles which seems always about to speak, and then to think better of it. You remind me of that statue, Mr. Ritchie. It is the statue of Wisdom."
What did she mean?
"Wisdom knows the limitations of its own worth, Madame," I replied.
"It is the one particular in which I should have thought wisdom was lacking," she said. "You have a tongue, if you will deign to use it. Or shall I read to you?" she added quickly, picking up a book. "I have read to the Queen, when Madame Campan was tired. Her Majesty poor dear lady, did me the honor to say she liked my English."
"You have done everything, Madame," I said.
"I have read to a Queen, to a King"s sister, but never yet--to a King,"
she said, opening the book and giving me the briefest of glances. "You are all kings in America are you not? What shall I read?"
"I would rather have you talk to me."
"Very well, I will tell you how the Queen spoke English. No, I will not do that," she said, a swift expression of sadness pa.s.sing over her face.
"I will never mock her again. She was a good sovereign and a brave woman and I loved her." She was silent a moment, and I thought there was a great weariness in her voice when she spoke again. "I have every reason to thank G.o.d when I think of the terrors I escaped, of the friends I have found. And yet I am an unhappy woman, Mr. Ritchie."
"You are unhappy when you are not doing things for others, Madame," I suggested.
"I am a discontented woman," she said; "I always have been. And I am unhappy when I think of all those who were dear to me and whom I loved.
Many are dead, and many are scattered and homeless."
"I have often thought of your sorrows, Madame," I said.
"Which reminds me that I should not burden you with them, my good friend, when you are recovering. Do you know that you have been very near to death?"
"I know, Madame," I faltered. "I know that had it not been for you I should not be alive to-day. I know that you risked your life to save my own."
She did not answer at once, and when I looked at her she was gazing out over the flowers on the lawn.
"My life did not matter," she said. "Let us not talk of that."
I might have answered, but I dared not speak for fear of saying what was in my heart. And while I trembled with the repression of it, she was changed. She turned her face towards me and smiled a little.
"If you had obeyed me you would not have been so ill," she said.
"Then I am glad that I did not obey you."
"Your cousin, the irrepressible Mr. Temple, says I am a tyrant. Come now, do you think me a tyrant?"
"He has also said other things of you."
"What other things?"
I blushed at my own boldness.
"He said that if he were not in love with Antoinette, he would be in love with you."
"A very safe compliment," said the Vicomtesse. "Indeed, it sounds too cautious for Mr. Temple. You must have tampered with it, Mr. Ritchie,"
she flashed. "Mr. Temple is a boy. He needs discipline. He will have too easy a time with Antoinette."
"He is not the sort of man you should marry," I said, and sat amazed at it.
She looked at me strangely.
"No, he is not," she answered. "He is more or less the sort of man I have been thrown with all my life. They toil not, neither do they spin.
I know you will not misunderstand me, for I am very fond of him. Mr.
Temple is honest, fearless, lovable, and of good instincts. One cannot say as much for the rest of his type. They go through life fighting, gaming, horse-racing, riding to hounds,--I have often thought that it was no wonder our privileges came to an end. So many of us were steeped in selfishness and vice, were a burden on the world. The early n.o.bles, with all their crimes, were men who carved their way. Of such were the lords of the Marches. We toyed with politics, with simplicity, we wasted the land, we played cards as our coaches pa.s.sed through famine-stricken villages. The reckoning came. Our punishment was not given into the hands of the bourgeois, who would have dealt justly, but to the sc.u.m, the canaille, the demons of the earth. Had our King, had our n.o.bility, been men with the old fire, they would not have stood it. They were worn out with centuries of catering to themselves. Give me a man who will shape his life and live it with all his strength. I am tired of sham and pretence, of cynical wit, of mocking at the real things of life, of pride, vain-glory, and hypocrisy. Give me a man whose existence means something."
Was she thinking of the Englishman of whom she had spoken? Delicacy forbade my asking the question. He had been a man, according to her own testimony. Where was he now? Her voice had a ring of earnestness in it I had never heard before, and this arraignment of her own life and of her old friends surprised me. Now she seemed lost in a revery, from which I forebore to arouse her.
"I have often tried to picture your life," I said at last.
"You?" she answered, turning her head quickly.
"Ever since I first saw the miniature," I said. "Monsieur de St. Gre told me some things, and afterwards I read "Le Mariage de Figaro,"
and some novels, and some memoirs of the old courts which I got in Philadelphia last winter. I used to think of you as I rode over the mountains, as I sat reading in my room of an evening. I used to picture you in the palaces amusing the Queen and making the Cardinals laugh. And then I used to wonder--what became of you--and whether--" I hesitated, overwhelmed by a sudden confusion, for she was gazing at me fixedly with a look I did not understand.
"You used to think of that?" she said.
"I never thought to see you," I answered.
Laughter came into her eyes, and I knew that I had not vexed her. But I had spoken stupidly, and I reddened.
"I had a quick tongue," she said, as though to cover my confusion.
"I have it yet. In those days misfortune had not curbed it. I had not learned to be charitable. When I was a child I used to ride with my father to the hunts at St. Gre, and I was too ready to pick out the weaknesses of his guests. If one of the company had a trick or a mannerism, I never failed to catch it. People used to ask me what I thought of such and such a person, and that was bad for me. I saw their failings and pretensions, but I ignored my own. It was the same at Abbaye aux Bois, the convent where I was taught. When I was presented to her Majesty I saw why people hated her. They did not understand her. She was a woman with a large heart, with charity. Some did not suspect this, others forgot it because they beheld a brilliant personage with keen perceptions who would not submit to being bored. Her Majesty made many enemies at court of persons who believed she was making fun of them.
There was a dress-maker at the French court called Mademoiselle Bertin, who became ridiculously pretentious because the Queen allowed the woman to dress her hair in private. Bertin used to put on airs with the n.o.bility when they came to order gowns, and she was very rude to me when I went for my court dress. There was a ball at Versailles the day I was presented, and my father told me that her Majesty wished to speak with me. I was very much frightened. The Queen was standing with her back to the mirror, the d.u.c.h.esse de Polignac and some other ladies beside her, when my father brought me up, and her Majesty was smiling.
""What did you say to Bertin, Mademoiselle?" she asked.
"I was more frightened than ever, but the remembrance of the woman"s impudence got the better of me.
""I told her that in dressing your Majesty"s hair she had acquired all the court accomplishments but one."
""I"ll warrant that Bertin was curious," said the Queen.
""She was, your Majesty."
""What is the accomplishment she lacks?" the Queen demanded; "I should like to know it myself."
"It is discrimination, your Majesty. I told the woman there were some people she could be rude to with impunity. I was not one of them."
""She"ll never be rude to you again, Mademoiselle," said the Queen.