"And if one conjugate them carelessly, I suppose," said d.i.c.k, "that there would be a great crack or whiz, and the whole affair would go to smash."
"Oh, don"t stop there asking such questions!" cried Lubin; "I"m heartily tired of this stupid bazaar--and if you go on so slowly, we shall never get to the end!"
"I like to understand things," said d.i.c.k; "there"s a great deal to attract one"s attention in this curious counter of Verb."
"Adverb, who keeps the next one," observed Nelly, "sells stands for her sister Verb"s figures, to display them _nicely_, _prettily_, _safely_!"
"_Badly_, _crookedly_, _awkwardly_!" cried d.i.c.k, who was in one of his funny moods. "I don"t like the look of Adverb, I think that she"s given to _lies_!"
"The three sisters who have the last stall," whispered Matty to d.i.c.k, "seem all but poor little creatures!"
"I should call them small, smaller, and smallest, like the three degrees of comparison," laughed d.i.c.k, "but I see their names at the backs of their counters,--Preposition, Conjunction, Interjection."
"Pray, Miss Preposition, what are these?" asked Nelly, as she took up some small labels from that lady"s stall, with _from_, _by_, _of_, and such names upon them.
"They are to show in what _case_ Noun"s words are to be packed," replied Preposition politely. "You may remark yonder boxes with _Nominative_, _Possessive_, and such names painted upon them; it is my business to label my sister"s goods, that they may be packed according to rule."
"It must be stupid work to deal in nothing but tickets!" exclaimed d.i.c.k; "if I were a Part of Speech, I"d be Noun rather than Preposition! And what has Conjunction to sell?"
"Only little b.a.l.l.s of string to tie bundles of words together, such as _and_, _either_, _or_; and scissors to divide the bundles, such as _neither_, _nor_, _notwithstanding_."
"Oh, come here, come here!" cried Matty eagerly; "there"s nothing amusing to look at on the counters of Conjunction or Preposition, but Interjection has something very funny! Look at these gutta-percha b.a.l.l.s shaped like faces, some showing pleasure--some horror--some surprise; just give them a little squeeze, and hear how you make them squeak!"
Lubin pressed one of the heads between his fat fingers, and _oh! ah!_ squeaked the red lips.
"I"ll try one!" cried d.i.c.k, catching up another; "it"s so like Matty"s friend, Miss Folly, that I"m sure that she sat for her likeness!" He thumped it down on the counter, and out came a shrill "_lack-a-day!_"
"I think," laughed Nelly, "that Interjection sells the funniest words of all!"
"And the ones that we could best do without," said d.i.c.k scornfully, throwing down the _lack-a-day_ ball.
The children did not leave the Grammar Bazaar empty-handed. I must just remark that Matty loaded herself most with words from the stall of Adjective, choosing most of them from the Superlative row; and that Lubin, notwithstanding the neat labels of Miss Preposition, never knew how to put one of the words which he got from Noun or p.r.o.noun into its own proper case.
CHAPTER XVII.
PRIDE AND FOLLY.
One day Mr. Learning, having finished a whole volume of travels for breakfast, made up his mind to pay a visit to his charges at the cottages of Head. He walked, as usual, at a rapid pace, with long strides, looking neither to the right hand nor to the left; his thoughts too busy with researches into the manners and peculiarities of distant lands, for him to notice how autumnal hues were already tinging the trees, or how summer roses were giving place to the convolvulus and the dahlia. Mr. Learning did not go empty-handed; he carried with him as presents to the young Desleys four small hammers of Memory, and four bags of bra.s.s nails called Dates.
This time the first cottage which he entered was that of d.i.c.k, and he would doubtless have been pleased to see the numerous articles for ornament and use with which it already was furnished, had not the first object which met his eye been the ugly figure of Pride.
Pride was engaged in making a list of all the furniture in d.i.c.k"s dwelling, very much like an auctioneer"s puff. Everything, according to him, was "first-rate," "of superior quality," or, "fit for the residence of any n.o.bleman in the land." Pride sat with his back to the door, and therefore was not aware of the entrance of Learning, till the stately gentleman in spectacles tapped him on the shoulder with one of the hammers.
Up jumped Pride in a moment. He had no time to hide himself, or to beat a retreat, so, being one of the most impudent fellows in the world, he resolved to brave out the matter with the solemn philosopher.
"I did not expect to find you here again," said Mr. Learning in his stiffest and coldest manner.
"Well, I"m surprised to hear that," replied saucy Pride, resting his hand on his hip, and trying to look quite at his ease; "as I go everywhere, and am welcomed by everybody, it"s natural enough that I should chance to meet the most potent, grave, and reverend Mr.
Learning."
"Where is your master?" asked Learning shortly.
"_My_ master, indeed!" echoed Pride; "d.i.c.k never yet mastered me. I should rather say that I am _his_ master!"
"Where has he gone?" inquired Learning, without seeming to notice the insolent remark.
"He has gone to History"s shop, to purchase a carpet for his parlour. He is sure to select a pattern of the newest and most elegant design."
"Then I leave these for him," said the grave philosopher; "a bag full of bright bra.s.s Dates, and a hammer of Memory to knock them well in."
"If you had brought a sackful instead of a bagful," observed Pride, "it would not have been too much for d.i.c.k Desley; and as for the hammer--don"t you know that he has a prodigiously fine Memory of his own?"
Without condescending to reply, Mr. Learning put down his gifts, turned round, and, quitting the cottage which harboured so impudent a guest, went to the next one, which was Lubin"s. The door, as usual, was wide open, and the place deserted and empty. Mr. Learning did not even cross the threshold, so disgusted was he at the unfurnished, untidy state of the sluggard"s home.
"I may as well leave these for him, but he"ll never know how to use them," muttered Learning, throwing in the hammer and nails.
He then crossed over to Matty"s pretty cottage. Her door was also ajar, and grave Mr. Learning stopped at it for some moments in astonishment at the sight which presented itself to his view.
Miss Folly, in her seven flounces, her beads and flowers, peac.o.c.k"s plume, rouge, ribbons, and all, was half reclining on the uncarpeted floor, engaged in blowing bubbles. As each rose from the bowl of her pipe, swelling and shining, and then mounting aloft, she watched it with a look of affected delight and admiration in her up-turned eyes. No contrast could be imagined greater than that between the stately gentleman clothed in black, with his broad intellectual brow, spectacled eyes, and grave, solemn manner; and light, fantastical, frivolous Miss Folly, clad in the most absurd of styles, but looking as though she thought herself the very pink of perfection.
"Dear, who can that funny old fogie be!" exclaimed Folly, as she caught sight of grave Mr. Learning.
"Who may _you_ be, and what are you doing?" asked Learning, with less politeness than he usually showed to ladies.
"You don"t mean to say that you"ve never heard of me!" cried Folly, her words bubbling out fast like water out of a bottle; "you must be Mr.
Ignorance, if you don"t know that I"m Mademoiselle Folly, the most particular friend of lovely Lady Fashion, and the inventress of tight-lacing, steel-hoops, hair-powder, masks, periwigs--"
"Flattened heads, blackened teeth, nose-rings, lip-rings, and tattooing," added Mr. Learning, remembering the account of a tribe of savages which he had been reading that morning.
"And as to what I am doing," continued Miss Folly, taking up her pipe, which she had laid down on the entrance of a stranger, "I"m very usefully employed: I"m furnishing the cottage of Miss Matty Desley."
"Furnishing!" exclaimed Mr. Learning in surprise, as Miss Folly, with distended cheeks, commenced blowing another bubble.
Folly was too busy at that moment to reply, even her tongue for a while was silent; but after she had succeeded in filling a big bubble, and had loosened it from the pipe with a gentle shake, she vouchsafed a little explanation.
"Yes, I"m furnishing the cottage with fancies; their poetical name is day-dreams, cheap, elegant bubble-fancies."
"You must take me for an idiot!" exclaimed Mr. Learning; "no one in his senses could ever dream of furnishing a house with bubbles!"
Miss Folly was so intently gazing after the ascending bubble that she seemed to forget even the presence of the sage. As the airy globule ascended, she began pouring forth a stream of disconnected nonsense, seeming to speak merely for her own pleasure, as her words could certainly not be intended for the information of any listener.
"A carriage and four--sleek bays with long tails; no, white horses with pretty pink rosettes, and harness all glittering with silver!
Drive through London--up and down Hyde Park--taken for the Queen--bowing--smiling--ah me, the bubble has burst!"
"This is some poor creature that has lost her wits!" thought the astonished Mr. Learning, scarcely knowing whether to regard Miss Folly with pity or with contempt. Already another bubble was swelling on the bowl of her pipe, and in a minute another bright ball was floating aloft in the air.