"Don"t think that you are "ruining his life,"" said the doctor kindly.
"He ruined it long ago--poor boy!"
The girl turned quickly at the note of sympathy.
"They don"t know either," her friend went on. "What could Miss Orella do, poor little saint, to protect a lively young fellow like that! All they have in their scatter-brained heads is "it"s naughty but it"s nice!" And so they rush off and ruin their whole lives--and their wives"--and their children"s. A man don"t have to be so very wicked, either, understand. Just one mis-step may be enough for infection."
"Even if it did break his heart, and yours--even if you both lived single, he because it is the only decent thing he can do now, you because of a misguided sense of devotion; that would be better than to commit this plain sin. Beware of a biological sin, my dear; for it there is no forgiveness."
She waited a moment and went on, as firmly and steadily as she would have held the walls of a wound while she placed the st.i.tches.
"If you two love each other so n.o.bly and devotedly that it is higher and truer and more lasting than the ordinary love of men and women, you might be "true" to one another for a lifetime, you see. And all that friendship can do, exalted influence, n.o.ble inspiration--that is open to you."
Vivian"s eyes were wide and shining. She saw a possible future, not wholly unbearable.
"Has he kissed you yet?" asked the doctor suddenly.
"No," she said. "That is--except----"
"Don"t let him. You might catch it. Your friendship must be distant.
Well, shall we be going back? I"m sorry, my dear. I did hate awfully to do it. But I hated worse to see you go down those awful steps from which there is no returning."
"Yes," said Vivian. "Thank you. Won"t you go on, please? I"ll come later."
An hour the girl sat there, with the clear blue sky above her, the soft steady wind rustling the leaves, the little birds that hopped and pecked and flirted their tails so near her motionless figure.
She thought and thought, and through all the tumult of ideas it grew clearer to her that the doctor was right. She might sacrifice herself.
She had no right to sacrifice her children.
A feeling of unreasoning horror at this sudden outlook into a field of unknown evil was met by her clear perception that if she was old enough to marry, to be a mother, she was surely old enough to know these things; and not only so, but ought to know them.
Shy, sensitive, delicate in feeling as the girl was, she had a fair and reasoning mind.
CHAPTER X.
DETERMINATION.
You may shut your eyes with a bandage, The while world vanishes soon; You may open your eyes at a knothole And see the sun and moon.
It must have grieved anyone who cared for Andrew d.y.k.eman, to see Mrs.
St. Cloud"s manner toward him change with his changed circ.u.mstances--she had been so much with him, had been so kind to him; kinder than Carston comment "knew for a fact," but not kinder than it surmised.
Then, though his dress remained as quietly correct, his face a.s.sumed a worn and anxious look, and he no longer offered her long auto rides or other expensive entertainment. She saw men on the piazza stop talking as he came by, and shake their heads as they looked after him; but no one would tell her anything definite till she questioned Mr. Skee.
"I am worried about Mr. d.y.k.eman," she said to this ever-willing confidant, beckoning him to a chair beside her.
A chair, to the mind of Mr. Skee, seemed to be for pictorial uses, only valuable as part of the composition. He liked one to stand beside, to put a foot on, to lean over from behind, arms on the back; to tip up in front of him as if he needed a barricade; and when he was persuaded to sit in one, it was either facing the back, cross-saddle and bent forward, or--and this was the utmost decorum he was able to approach--tipped backward against the wall.
"He does not look well," said the lady, "you are old friends--do tell me; if it is anything wherein a woman"s sympathy would be of service?"
"I"m afraid not, Ma"am," replied Mr. Skee darkly. "Andy"s hard hit in a worse place than his heart. I wouldn"t betray a friend"s confidence for any money, Ma"am; but this is all over town. It"ll go hard with Andy, I"m afraid, at his age."
"Oh, I"m so sorry!" she whispered. "So sorry! But surely with a man of his abilities it will be only a temporary reverse!--"
"Dunno "bout the abilities--not in this case. Unless he has ability enough to discover a mine bigger"n the one he"s lost! You see, Ma"am, it"s this way," and he sunk his voice to a confidential rumble. "Andy had a bang-up mine, galena ore--not gold, you understand, but often pays better. And he kept on putting the money it made back into it to make more. Then, all of a sudden, it petered out! No more eggs in that basket. "Course he can"t sell it--now. And last year he refused half a million. Andy"s sure down on his luck."
"But he will recover! You western men are so wonderful! He will find another mine!"
"O yes, he _may_! Certainly he _may_, Ma"am. Not that he found this one--he just bought it."
"Well--he can buy another, there are more, aren"t there?"
"Sure there are! There"s as good mines in the earth as ever was salted--that"s my motto! But Andy"s got no more money to buy any mines. What he had before he inherited. No, Ma"am," said Mr. Skee, with a sigh. "I"m afraid its all up with Andy d.y.k.eman financially!"
This he said more audibly; and Miss Elder and Miss Pettigrew, sitting in their parlor, could not help hearing. Miss Elder gave a little gasp and clasped her hands tightly, but Miss Pettigrew arose, and came outside.
"What"s this about Mr. d.y.k.eman?" she questioned abruptly. "Has he had losses?"
"There now," said Mr. Skee, remorsefully, "I never meant to give him away like that. Mrs. Pettigrew, Ma"am, I must beg you not to mention it further. I was only satisfyin" this lady here, in answer to sympathetic anxiety, as to what was making Andrew H. d.y.k.eman so down in the mouth.
Yes"m--he"s lost every cent he had in the world, or is likely to have.
Of course, among friends, he"ll get a job fast enough, bookkeepin", or something like that--though he"s not a brilliant man, Andy isn"t. You needn"t to feel worried, Mrs. Pettigrew; he"ll draw a salary all right, to the end of time; but he"s out of the game of Hot Finance."
Mrs. Pettigrew regarded the speaker with a scintillating eye. He returned her look with unflinching seriousness. "Have a chair, Ma"am,"
he said. "Let me bring out your rocker. Sit down and chat with us."
"No, thanks," said the old lady. "It seems to me a little--chilly, out here. I"ll go in."
She went in forthwith, to find Miss Orella furtively wiping her eyes.
"What are you crying about, Orella Elder! Just because a man"s lost his money? That happens to most of "em now and then."
"Yes, I know--but you heard what he said. Oh, I can"t believe it! To think of his having to be provided for by his friends--and having to take a small salary--after being so well off! I am so sorry for him!"
Miss Elder"s sorrow was increased to intensity by noting Mrs. St.
Cloud"s changed att.i.tude. Mr. d.y.k.eman made no complaint, uttered no protest, gave no confidences; but it soon appeared that he was working in an office; and furthermore that this position was given him by Mr.
Skee.
That gentleman, though discreetly reticent as to his own affairs, now appeared in far finer raiment than he had hitherto affected; developed a p.r.o.nounced taste in fobs and sleeve b.u.t.tons; and a striking harmony in socks and scarfs.
Men talked openly of him; no one seemed to know anything definite, but all were certain that "Old Skee must have struck it rich."
Mr. Skee kept his own counsel; but became munificent in gifts and entertainments. He produced two imposing presents for Susie; one a "betrothal gift," the other a conventional wedding present.
"This is a new one to me," he said when he offered her the first; "but I understand it"s the thing. In fact I"m sure of it--for I"ve consulted Mrs. St. Cloud and she helped me to buy "em."
He consulted Mrs. St. Cloud about a dinner he proposed giving to Mr.