Then she got up and left.
You might sleep better, thought Arthur Stuart, but I won"t.
10
Mizzippy
ALVIN FOUND IT hard to hear the greensong in this place. It wasn"t just the disharmony of field after field of cotton tended by slaves, which droned a bitter, complaining monotone under the songs of life. It was also his own fears and worries, distracting him so he couldn"t listen to the life around him as he needed to.
Leaving Arthur in charge of all the makery that this exodus required was dangerous, not because there was any ill will in the young man, but because there was simply so much he didn"t know. Not just about makery, either, but about life, about what the consequences of each action were likely to be. Not that Alvin was any expert himself-nor was Margaret, for even she saw many paths and wasn"t sure which ones led to good places in the end. But he knew more than Arthur Stuart did simply by virtue of having lived years longer, with a watchful eye.
Worse, the actual authority in the camp was held by La Tia, and-to a lesser extent-by Dead Mary and her mother. La Tia he had only met the day before the crossing of the lake. She was a woman who was used to being more powerful than anyone around her-how would she deal with Arthur Stuart when Alvin wasn"t there to look after him? If only Alvin could see into people"s hearts. La Tia was fearless, but that could mean either that she had no guile or that she had no conscience.
And Dead Mary. It was obvious she was enamored of Arthur Stuart-the way she watched him, enjoyed his company, laughed at his wit. Of course the boy would never see that, he wasn"t used to the company of women, and since Dead Mary wasn"t a flirt or a tart, the signs would be hard for him to recognize, being so inexperienced. But what if, in Alvin"s absence, she did something to make it obvious after all? What would Arthur Stuart do, unsupervised, in the company of a woman who might be a great deal more experienced than he was?
He also had misgivings about bringing along the slaves from the plantations where they stopped along the way. But as La Tia said, when he suggested they might not want to swell their numbers: "This a march of freedom, man! Who you gonna leave behind? These folk need less freedom? Why we the chosen ones? They as much Israelites as us!"
Israelites. Of course everybody was comparing this to the exodus from Egypt, complete with the drowning of some of "Pharaoh"s" army when the bridge collapsed. The fog was the pillar of smoke. And what did that make Alvin? Moses? Not likely. But that"s how a lot of the people felt.
But not all. There was a lot of anger in this group. A lot of people who had come to hate all authority, and not just that of the Spanish or the slaveowners. The anger in Old Bart, the butler in the Cottoner house-there was so much fury in his heart, Alvin wondered how he had managed to contain it all these years. Old Bart was still in control of himself, and had calmed down considerable since he"d had a chance to see how big a job it was, getting all these folks safely through slave country. Didn"t hurt that he"d seen Arthur Stuart and La Tia use powers he"d never seen black folks using-and that there was plenty of white folks in the company who was doing what Arthur Stuart and La Tia told them. It was already a new world.
But then they"d come to a new plantation where slaves had suffered worse than they did on the Cottoner place, and Old Bart"s anger would rekindle, and the others from his old plantation would see the fire in him and it would stir it up in them, too. That was just human nature, and it made the situation dangerous.
How many others were there, with bits of authority like Old Bart"s? Not to mention the ones that would like to make trouble just because they liked stirring things up. It"s not like they"d get to say, at each plantation, We"re gonna free all of you what"s nice and forgiving, anybody who"s got any nastiness in them, or is too angry to act peaceful, you"re gonna stay here under the lash.
Like Moses, they"d take everybody that had been in bondage. And like Moses, they couldn"t guess if some of them might find some way of making a golden calf that would destroy the exodus before they got to the promised land.
Promised land. That was the biggest worry. Where in the world was he going to take them? Where was the land of milk and honey? It"s not as if the Lord had appeared to Alvin in a burning bush. The closest he"d ever come to seeing an angel was the dark night when Tenskwa-Tawa-then a perpetually drunken red named Lolla-Wossiky-appeared in his room and Alvin had healed his blind eye. But Lolla-Wossiky wasn"t G.o.d or even an angel like the one that wrestled with Jacob. He was a man who groaned with the pain of his people.
And yet he was the only angel Alvin had ever seen, or even heard about, unless you counted whatever it was that his sister"s husband, Armor-of-G.o.d Weaver, had seen in Reverend Thrower"s church back when Alvin was a child. Something shimmering and racing around inside the walls of the church, and it like to made Thrower crazy to see whatever it was he saw, but Armor-of-G.o.d could never make it out. And that was as close to seeing a supernatural creature as anyone of Alvin"s acquaintance had ever come.
Oh, there had been miracles enough in Alvin"s life, plenty of strange doings, and some of them wonderful. Peggy watching out for him throughout his childhood without his even knowing it. The powers he had found inside himself, the ability to see into the heart of the world and persuade it to change and become better. But not one of them had given him the knowledge of what he ought to be doing from one moment to the next. He was left to muddle through as best he could, taking what advice he could get. But n.o.body, not even Margaret, had the truth-truth so true that you knew knew it was true, and knew that what you knew was bound to be right. Alvin always had a shadow of doubt because n.o.body truly knew anything, not even their own heart. it was true, and knew that what you knew was bound to be right. Alvin always had a shadow of doubt because n.o.body truly knew anything, not even their own heart.
With all this running through his mind, over and over again, reaching no conclusion, he soon found that his legs were tired and his feet were sore-something that hadn"t happened to him while running since Ta-k.u.msaw had first taught him to hear the greensong and let it fill him with the strength of all the life around him.
This won"t do, he realized. If I run like a normal man, I"ll cover ground so slowly it will be more than one night before I reach the river. I have to shut all this out of my mind and let the song have me.
So he did the only thing he could think of that would shut all else out of his mind.
He reached out, searching for Margaret"s heartfire, which he always knew as well as a man might know his own self. There she was... and there, just under her own heartfire, was that glowing spark of the baby that they had made together. Alvin concentrated on the baby, on finding his way through its small body, feeling the heartbeat, the flow of blood, the strength coming into the baby from Margaret"s body, the way his little muscles flexed and extended as he tested them.
Exploring this new life, this manling-to-be, all other worries left Alvin and then the greensong came to him, and his son was part of it, that beating heart was part of the rhythm of the trees and small animals and gra.s.s and, yes, even the slave-grown cotton, all of it alive. The birds overhead, the insects crawling in and on the earth, the flies and skeeters, they were all part of the music. The gators in the banks of languid rivers and stagnant pools, the deer that still browsed in the stands of wood that had not yet made way for the cotton fields, the small herbs with healing and poison in them, the fish in the water, and the hum, hum, hum of sleeping people who, in the nighttime, became part of the world again instead of fighting against it the way most folks did the livelong day.
So it was that he was not tired, not sore, but alert and filled with vigor and well-being when he reached the sh.o.r.es of the Mizzippy. He had crossed many a wagon track but nothing so fine as to be called a road, for in these parts the best road was the water, and the greatest highway of all was the Mizzippy.
Though it was night, there were stars enough, and a sliver of moon. Alvin could see the broad river stretching away to the left and right, each ripple in the water catching a bit of light. Halfway across, though, there was the perpetual fog that guarded the west bank from the endless restless ambition of the Europeans.
There was no doubt that Tenskwa-Tawa knew Alvin was coming. His sister-in-law, Becca, was a weaver of the threads of life. She would have noticed Alvin"s thread and how it moved over to be at the boundary between white men and red. Tenskwa-Tawa would have been told. He would know that if Alvin came here, straight toward the river, and not traveling north or south along it, it meant he wanted to cross the water. It meant he wanted to talk.
It wasn"t something Alvin did often. He didn"t want to be a bother. It had to matter, before he"d come. And so Tenskwa-Tawa would trust his judgment and come to meet him.
Or not. After all, it"s not as if Tenskwa-Tawa came and went at Alvin"s bidding. If he was busy, then Alvin would have to wait. It hadn"t happened yet, or not much of a wait, anyway. But Alvin knew that it could could happen, and was prepared to wait if he needed to. For a while. happen, and was prepared to wait if he needed to. For a while.
But if Tenskwa-Tawa didn"t come at all, what would that mean? That his answer was no? That he would not let these five thousand children of Israel-or at least children of G.o.d, or maybe Tenskwa-Tawa saw them as nothing more than the children of their powerless parents, but human beings all the same-was it possible he would not let them pa.s.s? What would Alvin do then?
He looked toward his left, not with his eyes, but searching for the heartfires of the northbound expedition that had left Barcy that afternoon to bring these runaway slaves back home. Good-they hadn"t made much progress on the first day, and were still far off. There was a lot of anger and discomfort in the group, too, as drunks vomited and former drunks suffered from headaches and men who wished they were drunk grumbled at the tedium of the journey and the poor quality of the pleasures aboard a military boat.
Even farther was the ship that carried Calvin. Plenty of anger on that ship, too-but of a different kind, a sort of bitter sense of ent.i.tlements long delayed. Calvin had found a like-minded bunch, people who felt the world owed them something and was slow to pay up. Were they really going to Mexico? Was Calvin so foolish as to put in with that mad expedition? Wherever they went, he knew they"d cause trouble when they got there.
Mostly, though, Alvin wondered how he was going to cross the river.
Building a bridge for just himself didn"t seem to have much point to it. But it was a long swim, and a hard one to do wearing all his clothes and carrying a golden plow-which would make a pretty good anchor but a mighty poor raft.
So he began to make his way up the river. The trouble was that close to the water, all was a tangle of trees and brush, while farther back, he couldn"t see whether there was any boat tied up. This wasn"t hospitable country for farming or fishing, and it was doubtful anybody lived too close. And there were gators-he could see their heartfires, dimmed a bit by sleep, except the hungry ones. Wouldn"t they just like a piece of manflesh to digest as they lay on the riverbank through the heat of the day tomorrow.
Don"t wake up for me, me, he murmured to a nearby wakeful gator. Keep your place, I"m not for you today. he murmured to a nearby wakeful gator. Keep your place, I"m not for you today.
Finally he realized there was going to be no boat unless he made one.
So he found a dead, half-fallen tree-no shortage of those in this untended land-and got it to let go of its roots" last hold in the earth. With a great splash it fell into the water, and after a short while, Alvin had shorn it of all the branches he didn"t want it to have. The tree had been propped up there, mostly dead, for long enough that it was dry wood, and floated well. He gave it a bit more shaping, and then picked his way between bushes and stepping on roots until he was near enough to the log that he didn"t have to splash far in the water to reach it.
Mounting it was a bit of a trouble, since it was inclined to roll, and it occurred to Alvin that it probably wasn"t much different in appearance from the great tree that had been swept downstream on the Hatrack River flood the day that he was born. What killed my brother Vigor is now my vehicle to cross.
But thinking about the past reminded him of all those years of childhood, when it seemed that every bad accident that befell him was related somehow to water. His father had remarked upon it, and not as some kind of superst.i.tion about coincidence, either. Water was out to get him, that"s what Alvin Senior said.
And it wasn"t altogether false. No, the water itself had no will or wish to harm him or anything. But water naturally tore and rusted and eroded and melted and mudded up everything it pa.s.sed over or under or through. It was a natural tool of the Unmaker.
At the thought of his ancient enemy, who had so often brought him to the edge of death, he got that old feeling from his childhood. The sense that something was watching him from just out of sight, just on the edge of vision. But when he turned his head, the watcher seemed to flee to where the new edge of his vision was. Nothing was ever there. But that was the problem-the Unmaker was was nothing, or at least was a lover of nothing, and wished to make everything into nothing, and would not rest until it all was broken down and swept away and gone. nothing, or at least was a lover of nothing, and wished to make everything into nothing, and would not rest until it all was broken down and swept away and gone.
Alvin stood against him. A futile, pathetic weakling, that"s what I am, thought Alvin. I can"t build up faster than the Unmaker tears down. Yet he still hates me for trying.
Or maybe he doesn"t hate me. Maybe he"s a wild creature, hungry all the time, and I simply smell like his prey. No malice in it. Wasn"t tearing down just a part of building up? All part of the same great flow of nature. Why should he be the enemy of the Unmaker, when really they worked together, the maker and unmaker, the maker making things out of the rubble of whatever the unmaker tore down.
Alvin shuddered. What had he been about to do? What had he been thinking about?
There was a heartfire near him. A hungry one indeed. That gator that he had told to stay away. Apparently it changed its mind, what with Alvin standing there thigh-deep in the Mizzippy, resting his hands on a floating log and burdened with a heavy poke slung over his shoulder.
Alvin felt the jaws snap shut on his leg and immediately drag him downward, a sharp tug that jerked his feet out from under him and put him under the water.
He fought to keep his body"s reflexes from taking over- flailing arms all panicking to try to swim up for air wouldn"t do him much good with a gator holding onto one leg.
The gator jerked its head this way and that, and Alvin felt his thigh bone pull hard away from the hip socket. Next try and the gator would have him disjointed.
Alvin reached into the mind of the gator to persuade it to let go. A simple thing, to tell some feeble-brained animal how to see the world. Not food, not prey, danger, go away.
Only the gator had no interest in his story. What Alvin felt there in its heartfire was something old and malicious. It wasn"t hungry. It just wanted Alvin dead. He could feel it hungering to tear him apart, a frenzy building inside it.
And he could feel other heartfires coming. More gators, drawn by the thrashing in the water.
Why wouldn"t this gator respond?
Because you"re in the water, fool.
No, I"ve been in water a thousand times with no danger, and- No time to settle this now. If I can"t do it by persuasion, I"ll do it another way.
Alvin reached down with his doodlebug and stopped up the gator"s nostrils and told it that it needed air and couldn"t breathe.
Didn"t matter. The gator didn"t care.
And now Alvin knew that he was fighting something a good deal more dangerous than a gator. Animals wanted to live, and they never forgot that. So when this gator didn"t care that it couldn"t breathe...
Another jerk. Alvin felt his hip joint come apart inside. Now it was just some ligaments and muscles and his skin holding his leg onto his body. The gator would have those torn apart in no time.
The pain was terrible, but Alvin shut his mind to that. He hadn"t come all this way, through all the dangers that he"d faced, to die in a river the way the Unmaker had tried to kill him so many times before.
Alvin pulled the poke down from his shoulder and jammed the heavy end of it into the gator"s mouth.
With one end of the living plow between its teeth, the gator tried to snap at it. That meant releasing its grip on Alvin"s leg. He couldn"t just pull the leg free, though-with the bones disconnected his muscles didn"t work right and the leg wouldn"t obey him. Nor could he reach down and pull his leg free, because he needed to use both hands to hold the plow. For all he knew it was the Unmaker"s plan to get the plow away from him and lose it at the bottom of the river, and Alvin wasn"t going to do that. He"d put a good part of himself into that plow, and he was blamed if he was going to let go of it without more of a fight than this. this.
The other gators were getting close. Alvin got inside the nearest one and tried to lead it to attack the gator who was holding onto him. But while this second animal wasn"t tilled with malice, it also wasn"t responding to him. It was afraid to obey him. The Unmaker could cry fear into the animal"s heart louder than Alvin could speak hunger to it. It retreated. All the other gators waited in a semicircle, all about fifteen feet away, watching the struggle in the water.
The gator was still trying to gnaw at the plow, and each time it bit down, Alvin worked the plow deeper and deeper between its jaws. The plow was thicker than Alvin"s leg. And finally, with the teeth no longer gripping him, he was able to twist his body and his injured leg came free.
In that moment the gator made its move, to try to get away with the plow in its mouth. But Alvin was ready. He flopped onto the gator"s back and embraced its whole head in a great bear hug, clamping the jaws tightly around the plow.
That did bother the gator. The plow was too big for its jaws to close with the plow between them, and with Alvin holding on so tightly it could neither swallow nor open its mouth enough to let go of the thing. On top of that, its nostrils were still closed, and even though Alvin had caught plenty of breaths during the struggle, the gator had been going some minutes without taking in any air. How long could a gator"s lungs hold out?
A long time, Alvin learned, as he held on, squeezing tighter and tighter.
After a while, he realized that the gator was no longer thrashing.
Still he held on.
Yes, there it was. One last twitch, one feeble attempt to rise to the surface and breathe.
And in that moment, Alvin unstopped its nostrils. Because he was blamed if he was going to let the Unmaker force him to kill a perfectly innocent gator who wouldn"t have done n.o.body any harm except the Unmaker forced it to.
Alvin rose up, balancing on his one good leg, lifting the gator"s head above water. At once it began to thrash weakly, sucking air into its partly open mouth and its nostrils. Then Alvin flung it across the log. Its mouth hung open for one long moment and Alvin s.n.a.t.c.hed the poke, with the plow in it, back out of the gator"s mouth. Then he shoved the gator back into the water and this time when he told it to go away, it heard him, and feebly began to swim away.
The other gators leapt upon the weakened one and dragged it under the water.
No! shouted Alvin into their minds. Let it go. Go away. Let it go.
They obeyed.
And as they swam away, Alvin thought, for just a moment, that swimming alongside them was a reptilian creature that was not a gator at all, but rather a fiery salamander, its glow damped by the murky water of the Mizzippy.
Was that what Thrower saw in his church, when Armor-of-G.o.d saw him cower in terror at whatever was circling the walls? Or was it just a trick of my eyes because the pain is ... so ... bad.
Alvin dragged his bad leg and the poke with the plow up onto the sh.o.r.e and lay there, panting.
And then he realized that even this would be a victory for the Unmaker. He didn"t want me to cross that river. Therefore I must cross, and without delay, or he still wins.
With the water to help bear the agonizing weight of his disjointed leg, Alvin half hopped, half swam to the log and put the plow on top of it and dragged his own body on. It took more than his physical strength-he had to use his power to keep the thing from rolling with him on it. But finally he was fully atop the log, and he paddled it out into the current of the river.
Ahead of him the wall of fog waited. It was safety. If Alvin made it there, he"d be under the influence of Tenskwa-Tawa, and he had all the power of the red people behind the making of that fog. The Unmaker surely couldn"t go there.
Alvin kept going, despite the fog of pain that threatened to plunge him into unconsciousness. He couldn"t concentrate well enough to make the paddling go faster or easier. Nor could he spare the attention to tend to his disjointed hip. He just kept paddling and paddling, knowing that the current was sweeping him ever leftward, farther downstream than he wanted to go.
The fog closed around him. And with the wave of relief that swept over him, he finally slipped into unconsciousness.
He woke to find a black man bending over him.
The man spoke in a language that Alvin didn"t understand. But he had heard it before. He just couldn"t remember where.
Alvin was lying on his back. On dry land. He must have made it across.
Or maybe somebody on the river found him and brought him to the other sh.o.r.e.
It was hard to care.
The man"s voice became more urgent. And then his meaning became very clear as large, strong hands pulled on his injured leg and another pair of hands shoved at his upper thigh, sc.r.a.ping bone on bone in a blinding flash of agony. It didn"t work, the bone wouldn"t go back into the socket, and as they let his leg slide back into its out-of-joint position the pain became too great and Alvin fainted.
He woke again, perhaps only moments later, and again the man spoke and gestured and Alvin raised one feeble hand. "Wait," he said. "Wait for just a moment."
But if they understood his words or his gesture, they gave no sign. He saw now that there were several of them, and they were determined to get his hip back together, and nothing he said was going to stop him.
So, with desperate hurry, he scanned through his own body, finding the ligaments that were blocking the way, and this time when they pulled and pushed, Alvin was able to arrange things so the top of the thigh bone slid past the obstructions. For a moment it balanced on the lip of the socket, and then with a jolt slipped back where it belonged.
Alvin fainted again.
When he awoke he was in a different place, indoors, and no one was with him, though he heard voices in a strange language-not the same language-outside.
Outside what?