Chapter 960: Rowena"s Tears
Rowena realized she truly liked having his presence around her. Several times she stole glances at the man who was enjoying his food and their surrounding, not aware of her looking at him in interest.
"Is the meal to your tastes?" Raphael asked. "Or do you find it lacking? We could request something—"
When the man suddenly turned to her and asked her about the food, Rowena batted her eyes and froze. She nearly embarra.s.sed herself when he found out she was looking at him.
"N-no, it"s not l-lacking..." she replied in a stammer. "All good."
She blushed when she realized that Raphael must have noticed her stare and simply a.s.sumed that something was wrong. It wasn"t the case.
Quite the opposite, really.
"Thank you for treating me to my birthday, I appreciate it a lot," Rowena said as she plucked up her wine cup and took a large sip.
"You don"t have to thank me, but are you alright?" Raphael raised a brow as he looked at her and consumed the wine in one sip. "Or do you really like wine?"
When she was younger, Rowena didn"t have much alcohol at all—even though she was a royal who needed to interact with guests often in royal events.
She remembered her father tried to get her used to drinking so she could hold her liquor. He said it was a skill needed by a woman but never really told her what for. So she tried to drink, but it was not really for her.
"A-ah, I just like the taste." Rowena lied. The wine in this restaurant was so so, far from what she used to drink in the palace, but she pretended that it was the best wine in the world and she liked it so much.
She only drank it to soothe her nerves. A part of her still felt like she was betraying Julian by being happy, she needed to be sad and upset, and yet here she was—feeling much better.
"Then drink as much as you like, but try not to over-drink okay?" Raphael told her and she agreed to it.
However, even before the two of them finished their dinner—Rowena"s head was already drooping and her eyelids closed. Such quality of wine didn"t suit her and now she was tipsy.
"Ehm... Rowena? Are you okay?"
She just looked up to Raphael and mumbled something about she needed to sleep. Raphael prevented her head from landing among the bowl of soup and immediately stood up to carry her.
"You are not that good of a drinker, are you?" he chuckled.
Raphael placed one gold coin on the table and took Rowena home. He didn"t know why, taking care of this woman already felt like second nature to him at this point.
***
When Rowena finally opened her eyes, she looked up in alarm but she quickly realized that she was back at her house. She fluttered her lashes and then looked at her surroundings. She was back in her bed.
Hmm... wasn"t she eating dinner with Raphael to celebrate her 18th birthday? Why was she here? Her head throbbed with headache and she realized she must have drunk too much during dinner.
Gosh... it must be so embarra.s.sing, she thought.
Did she embarra.s.s Raphael back in the restaurant? Rowena winced at that thought.
She pulled the blankets over h
er body. She halted her movements when she glanced to the side and saw Raphael. His head was resting on the bedside while he sat on the chair. He was sleeping.
Rowena was surprised to see him and slowly stepped down from her bed to observe the man while he slept. Raphael"s expression was peaceful. His lips curled into a small smile despite the uncomfortable position he was in.
Rowena"s fingers reached out to him, close to his face—if only to grab his shoulders and shake him to wake up, but then she withdrew her arm and bit back a smile.
"What am I supposed to do with someone like you?" she silently asked.
Raphael did not move or even twitch at her words. Rowena heard his deep breathing and saw the rhythmic beating of his chest, and knew he was truly asleep.
She pushed back some of her hair behind an ear and then realized that the hairpin was nowhere to be seen—she stood up in alarm, a frantic sensation preoccupied her chest and seized her mind.
"Where is it—oh, he must have removed it so it wouldn"t be uncomfortable when I slept."
After looking around, Rowena found it at the bedside table. She slowly picked up the red hairpin and held it in her hand, weighing it as she looked at him.
Rowena pursed her lips "You... you just gave me this today and I was already panicking at the idea of having it been lost... What did you do to me?"
No answer.
It encouraged Rowena to speak a little more honestly, at least he wouldn"t be able to hear and yet she could finally get it off her chest.
"You... you"ve been here for quite some time despite my own urge for you to leave," she softly said. "I"m not saying it because I hate you or anything like that—I"m grateful for your presence. I know I don"t deserve your kindness."
Rowena stared down at the hairpin and closed her hand around it.
"I"m going to be lonely when you leave, do you know that? You have no obligation to take care of me. I do not wish to burden you—but the longer you stay here, the more I"m afraid that when you finally leave—it"ll hurt me more." She bit her lip, fighting back tears.
"So, please let me push you out of my life now, so I won"t be hurt. You"re not always going to be by my side after all—so it"s unfair, completely unfair that you"re still here constantly and making me rely on you."
After what happened to Julian, Rowena didn"t think she could handle another loss.
Someday, this man would leave her too, just like Julian. And when that happened, she would be broken and crushed beyond repair.
Why couldn"t he see that? Why did he insist to stay?
.
.
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From Missrealitybites:
Poor Rowena. Her fear is reasonable because she had always been alone and the only people who did love her had all died, leaving her all alone again
It doesn"t help that Raphael also didn"t understand what he was feeling for her. I am sure, being young and never in love before, he didn"t know that he wanted her to be his wife. He does have feelings for her, but probably at this point, marriage is not in his books.<
/p>
What do you think?
PS: I really really want to end this book as soon as possible so I can publish a new book to join WSA (ReadNovelFull"s Spirity Award). So, expect more chapters churned this month. I just hope I won"t die of exhaustion XD.
PPS: As usual, I would like to thank you all for your kind support of this book in coins, comments, reviews, power stones, and golden tickets. Shoutout to the Top 3 golden ticket contributors in April. You are so kind and I feel grateful for your support.
Kelly Goodwin, Jess R 7437, and Bean Dip. THANK YOU!
I hope all of you will support my new book once Harlow"s story ends. Love you!