Chapter 899: Julian"s Confession
Rowena looked up at Julian in shock. Out of all the things that she expected out of him… this was the last thing that she thought she"d hear from him.
She did see the signs and actually thought that her conversation with Prince Liam was something that finalized it, but now she realized that the real Julian was in front of her and he was serious.
More than how Prince Liam acted yesterday night, Julian"s words had a far deeper weight to them because of how the two of them both knew each other.
Rowena didn"t know when it all started, but now Julian harbored feelings for her and she didn"t know how to respond to it.
Julian on the other hand wanted to smack his head against a pillar or throw himself out of the window. Perhaps his jealousy got the better of him and finally made him blurt out the words he had kept deep within him.
He honestly thought that as long as he and Rowena stayed together, it didn"t matter if he confessed or not… Julian was just happy to be with her and stay at her side.
"I"m sorry for just saying that so suddenly, Rowena," Julian said as he tried to laugh to lighten up the mood, but then he shook his head. He couldn"t joke about this, nor try to make the situation less serious than it was.
His feelings had started for her somewhere along their time together and now he couldn"t hold it back anymore. Maybe Prince Liam was the trigger, but now that he had confessed his true feelings, it was finally time for him to speak.
Julian clasped his hands together and glanced up at Rowena with a weak smile.
"I know this sounds like it"s out of nowhere, and you"re wondering why I"m saying all of this… but let me rea.s.sure you that it"s not sudden. I don"t know when my feelings started for you, maybe I was ignoring it since it seems unfair for you—especially when you just freed yourself from your father and you didn"t need me to be an additional burden on your shoulders."
"Julian…"
The man held his hand up and smiled awkwardly.
"I thought of you like a sister at first, someone who needed me to be responsible for them and teach them what it"s like to survive in the world. And I liked that, you were like my sister and I was your bossy older brother. You think that way of me, right?"
Rowena slowly nodded. "Yes… but—"
"Yes, there"s a lot of buts," Julian said as his gaze fell on her. "But somewhere along the line, you became more like my partner in crime, my friend… and then it wasn"t you needing me, Rowena."
Julian couldn"t look her in the eye, as his face suddenly heated up.&nbs
p;
"It was me who started needing you. Not just needing—but also wanting you. I wanted you to look at me as if I was a man, but I think I did a very good job at being like an older brother. I made sure to be like one and treat you the same way I did as before because why complicate things for you? And it was easy at first."
"Julian…"
"I know, I know—I"m saying a lot of things. Far more than I do in one sitting." Julian chuckled and finally looked back at her. "But can you listen to me all the way before you say your answer?"
"Of course, Julian." Rowena weakly smiled and slowly nodded. "I"ll listen to you."
"Thank you." Julian took a deep breath. "Easy—well, it wasn"t easy to pretend that I didn"t have any feelings for you. I bet it kind of showed sometimes, but as long as I didn"t confess my love for you… then we are fine. Everything was fine, more than fine because I was with you."
His gaze was intense as it fell on Rowena and she couldn"t breathe at all.
The more Julian talked and spoke about his feelings, the more that Rowena didn"t know what to say. She didn"t think that his feelings for her were this deep.
She knew that he sometimes looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes, but she thought it was just like a young man who admired her beauty. It was a typical kind of reaction for any man, and especially made more prominent because it was just the two of them mostly together for the past year.
However, Rowena was proven wrong. Julian even used the word love when he talked about her and that stunned her.
Love was…
What was love for Rowena?
Julian finally looked at Rowena again and his words faltered when he saw that she had looked away from him and was fiddling with her hands.
Oh... he was stupid. Very stupid.
He might have repressed his feelings for all these years but why did he have to stun her?
If only Prince Liam didn"t show up, then maybe Julian might have been able to gather his thoughts and be more coherent and precise—but he just rambled and it left Rowena overwhelmed.
"I-I"m sorry, Rowena. I shouldn"t have said all of that." Julian rubbed his face and looked away. "I think I made you very uncomfortable. That was really aggravating, huh? I"m sure that you"re disgusted with me for being like this."
"No!" Rowena quickly shook her head and looked at him seriously. "I"m not disgusted with you or your feelings. It"s just that… this is all very new for me and when you speak about seeing you as a man?" &nbs
p;
"You don"t see me that way?" Julian guessed with a pained smile.
"If I"m going to marry someone…" Rowena returned his smile with her own.
"You don"t want to?"
Rowena shook her head. "You know my life seemed very planned before, down to the fact that I was going to marry someone that my father chose, I believe a man who could bring him a lot of advantages. It made me detest the idea of marriage, but you know, if I am going to do it… I want to marry someone I love."
"And you don"t love me."
"Julian!"
"At least, not the one meant for marriage… I mean."