"Everything has its season. His is past. He knows it."
"So all you need do is wait, right? He"ll die, given time." Marty was suddenly sick of the story now; of thieves, of chance. The whole sorry tale, true or untrue, repulsed him. "You don"t need me anymore," he said. He stood and crossed to the door. The sound of his feet in the gla.s.s was too loud in the small room.
"Where are you going?" the old man wanted to know.
"Away. As far as I can get."
"You promised to stay."
"I promised to listen. I have listened. And I don"t want any of this b.l.o.o.d.y place."
Marty began to open the door. Whitehead addressed his back.
"You think the European"ll let you be? You"ve seen him in the flesh, you"ve seen what he can do. He"ll have to silence you sooner or later. Have you thought of that?"
"I"ll take the risk."
"You"re safe here."
"Safe?" Marty repeated incredulously. "You can"t be serious. Safe? You really are pathetic, you know that?"
"If you go-" Whitehead warned.
"What?" Marty turned on him, spitting contempt. "What will you do, old man?"
"I"ll have them after you in two minutes flat; you"re skipping parole."
"And if they find me, I"ll tell them everything. About the heroin, about her out there in the hall. Every dirty thing I can dig up to tell them. I don"t give a monkey"s toss for your f.u.c.king threats, you hear?"
Whitehead nodded. "So. Stalemate."
"Looks like it," Marty replied, and stepped out into the corridor without looking back.
There was a morbid surprise awaiting him: the pups had found Bella. They had not been spared Mamoulian"s resurrecting hand, though they could not have served any practical purpose. Too small, too blind. They lay in the shadow of her empty belly, their mouths seeking teats that had long since gone. One of them was missing, he noted. Had it been the sixth child he"d seen move in the grave, either buried too deeply, or too profoundly degenerated, to follow where the rest went?
Bella raised her neck as he sidled past. What was left of her head swung in his general direction. Marty looked away, disgusted; but a rhythmical thumping made him glance back.
She had forgiven him his previous violence, apparently. Content now, with her adoring litter in her lap, she stared, eyeless, at him, while her wretched tail beat gently on the carpet.In the room where Marty had left him Whitehead sat slumped with exhaustion.
Though it had been difficult to tell the story at first, it had become easier with the telling, and he was glad to have unburdened it. So many times he"d wanted to tell Evangeline. But she had signaled, in her elegant, subtle way, that if there were indeed secrets he had from her, she didn"t want to know them. All those years, living with Mamoulian in the home, she had never directly asked Whitehead why, as though she"d known the answer would be no answer at all, merely another question.
Thinking about her brought many sorrows to his throat; they brimmed in him. The European had killed her, he had no doubt of that. He or his agents had been on the road with her; her death had not been chance. Had it been chance he would have known. His unfailing instinct would have sensed its rightness, however terrible his grief. But there had been no such sense, only the recognition of his oblique complicity in her death. She had been killed as revenge upon him. One of many such acts, but easily the worst.
And had the European taken her, after death? Had he slipped into the mausoleum and touched her into life, the way he had the dogs? The thought was repugnant, but Whitehead entertained it nevertheless, determined to think the worst for fear that if he didn"t Mamoulian might still find terrors to shake him with.
"You won"t," he said aloud to the room of gla.s.s. Won"t: frighten me, intimidate me, destroy me. There were ways and means. He could escape still, and hide at the ends of the earth. Find a place where he could forget the story of his life.
There was something he hadn"t told; a fraction of the Tale, scarcely pivotal but of more than pa.s.sing interest, that he"d withheld from Strauss as he would withhold it from any interrogator. Perhaps it was unspeakable. Or perhaps it touched so centrally, so profoundly, upon the ambiguities that had pursued him through the wastelands of his life that to speak it was to reveal the color of his soul.
He pondered this last secret now, and in a strange way the thought of it warmed him: He had left the game, that first and only game with the European, and scrambled through the half-choked door into Muranowski Square. No stars were burning; only the bonfire at his back.
As he"d stood in the gloom, reorienting himself, the chill creeping up through the soles of his boots, the lipless woman had appeared in front of him. She"d beckoned. He a.s.sumed she intended to lead him back the way he"d come, and so followed. She"d had other intentions, however. She"d led him away from the square to a house with barricaded windows, and-ever curious, he"d pursued her into it, certain that tonight of all nights no harm could possibly come to him.
In the entrails of the house was a tiny room whose walls were draped with pirated swaths of cloth, some rags, others dusty lengths of velvet that had once framed majestic windows. Here, in this makeshift boudoir, there was one piece of furniture only. A bed, upon which the dead Lieutenant Vasiliev-whom he had so recently seen in Mamoulian"s gaming room-was making love. And as the thief stepped through the door, and the lipless woman stood aside, Konstantin had looked up from his labors, his body continuing to press into the woman who lay beneath him on a mattress strewn with Russian and German and Polish flags.
The thief stood, disbelieving, wanting to tell Vasiliev that he was performing the act incorrectly, that he"d mistaken one hole for another, and it was no natural orifice he was using so brutally, but a wound.
The lieutenant wouldn"t have listened, of course. He grinned as he worked, the red pole rooting and dislodging, rooting and dislodging. The corpse he was pleasuring rocked beneath him, unimpressed by her paramour"s attentions.
How long had the thief watched? The act showed no sign of consummation. At last the lipless woman had murmured "Enough?" in his ear, and he had turned a little way to her while she had put her hand on the front of his trousers. She seemed not at all surprised that he was aroused, though in all the years since he had never understood how such a thing was possible. He had long ago accepted that the dead could be woken. But that he had felt heat in their presence-that was another crime altogether, more terrible to him than the first.
There is no h.e.l.l, the old man thought, putting the boudoir and its charred Casanova out of his mind. Or else h.e.l.l is a room and a bed and appet.i.te everlasting, and I"ve been there and seen its rapture and, if the worst comes to the worst, I will endure it.
Part Five
THE DELUGE
Out of a fired ship, which, by no way But drowning could be rescued from the flame, Some men leaped forth, and ever as they came Near the foes" ships, did by their shot decay; So all were lost, which in the ship were found, They in the sea being burnt, they in the burnt ship drowned.
-JOHN DONNE, "A Burnt Ship"
IX
Bad Faith
49
The Deluge descended in the driest July in living memory; but then no revisionist"s dream of Armageddon is complete without its paradox. Lightning appearing out of a clear sky; flesh turned to salt; the meek inheriting the earth: all unlikely phenomena.
That July, however, there were no spectacular transformations. No celestial lights appeared in the clouds. No rains of salamanders or children. If angels came and went that month-if the looked-for Deluge broke-then it was, like the truest Armageddons, metaphor.
There are, it"s true, some freakish occurrences to be recounted, but most of them take place in backwaters, in ill-lit corridors, in shunned wastelands among rain-sodden mattresses and the ashes of old bonfires. They are local; almost private. Their shock waves-at best-made gossip among wild dogs.
Most of these miracles, however-games, rains and salvations-were slipped with such cunning behind the facade of ordinary life that only the sharpest-sighted, or those in search of the unlikely, caught a glimpse of the Apocalypse showing its splendors to a sun-bleached city.
50
The city didn"t welcome Marty back with, open arms, but he was glad to be away from the house once and for all, his back turned on the old man and his madness. Whatever the consequences of his departure in the long term-and he would have to think very carefully about whether he now turned himself in-he at least had a breathing s.p.a.ce; time to think things through.
The tourist season was under way. London was thronged with visitors, making familiar streets unfamiliar. He spent the first couple of days just wandering around, getting used to being footloose and fancy-free again. He had precious little money left: but he could turn his hand to a laboring job if need be. With summer at its height the building trade was hungry for fit workhorses. The thought of an honest day"s work, its production of sweat paid for in cash, was attractive. If necessary he would sell the Citroen that he"d taken from the Sanctuary in one last, and probably ill-advised, gesture of rebellion.
After two days of liberty, his thoughts turned to an old theme: America. He"d had it tattooed on his arm as a keepsake of his prison dreams. Now, perhaps, was the time for him to make it a reality. In his imagination, Kansas beckoned, its grain fields running to the eye"s limit in every direction, and not a man-made thing in sight. He"d be safe there. Not just from the police and Mamoulian, but from history, from stories told again and again, round in circles, world without end. In Kansas, there would be a new story: a story that he could not know the end of. And wasn"t that a working definition of freedom, unspoiled by European hand, European certainty?
To keep himself off the streets while he planned his escape he found a room in Kilburn, a dingy one-room flat with a toilet two flights down, which was shared, the landlord informed him, with six other people. In fact there were at least fifteen occupants of the seven rooms in the house, including a family of four in one. The bawling of the youngest child kept his sleep fitful, so he"d rise early and leave the house to its own devices all day, only returning when the pubs were closed, and then only grudgingly. Still, he rea.s.sured himself, it wasn"t for long.
There were problems about the departure, of course, not the least of which was getting a pa.s.sport with a visa stamp in it. Without it he would not be allowed to step onto American soil. Securing himself these doc.u.ments would have to be a speedy operation. For all he knew his parole-jumping had been reported by Whitehead and d.a.m.n what tales Marty told. Perhaps the authorities were already combing the streets for him.
On the third day of July, a week and a half after leaving the estate, he decided to take fate by the horns and visit Toy"s place. Despite Whitehead"s insistence that Bill was dead, Marty kept hope intact. Papa had lied before, many times: why not in this instance?
The house was in an elegant backwater in Pimlico; a road of hushed facades and expensive automobiles straddling the narrow pavements. He rang the doorbell half a dozen times, but there was no sign of life. The venetian blinds were drawn on the downstairs windows; there was a fat wedge of mail-circulars mostly-thrust in the mailbox.
He was standing on the step staring dumbly at the door, knowing full well it wasn"t going to open, when a woman appeared on the next-door step. Not the owner of the house, he was sure: more likely a cleaner. Her tanned face-who wasn"t tanned this blistering summer?-bore the suppressed delight of a bad-news bringer.
"Excuse me. Can I help you?" she inquired hopefully.
He was suddenly glad he"d dressed in jacket and tie to come to the house; this woman looked the kind who"d report her slightest suspicions to the police.
"I was looking for Bill. Mr. Toy."
She clearly disapproved; if not of him, of Toy.
"He"s not here," she said.
"Do you happen to know where he"s gone?"
"n.o.body knows. He just left her. He just upped and left."
"Left who?"
"His wife. Well . . . lady friend. She was found in there a couple of weeks ago, didn"t you read about it? It was all over the papers. They interviewed me. I told them; I said he wasn"t a pretty piece of work: not at all."
"I must have missed it."
"It was all over the papers. They"re looking for him at the moment."
"Mr. Toy?"
"Murder Squad."
"Really."
"You"re not a reporter?"
"No."
"Only I"m willing, you know, to tell my story, if the price is right. The things I could tell you."
"Really."
"She was in a terrible state, apparently . . ."
"What do you mean?"
Mindful of her salability, the matron had no intention of divulging the details, even if she knew them, which Marty doubted. But she was willing to offer a tantalizing trailer. "There was mutilation," she promised, "unrecognizable, even to her nearest and dearest."
"Are you sure?"
The woman looked affronted by this smear on her authenticity.
"She either did it to herself, or else somebody did it to her and kept her in there, locked up, bleeding to death. For days and days. The smell when they opened the door-"
The sound of the slushy, lost voice that had answered the telephone came back to Marty, and he knew without doubt that Toy"s lady had already been dead when she spoke. Mutilated and dead, but resurrected as a telephonist to keep up appearances for a useful while. The syllables ran in his ear: "Who is this?" she"d asked, hadn"t she? Despite the heat and light of a brilliant July, he started to shiver. Mamoulian had been here. He"d crossed this very threshold in search of Toy. He had a score to settle with Bill, as Marty now knew; what might a man not plan, while the humiliations festered, in return for such violence?
Marty caught the woman staring at him.
"Are you all right?" she said.
"Thank you. Yes."
"You need some sleep. I have the same problems. Hot nights like these: I get restless."
He thanked her again and hurried away from the house, without looking back. Too easy to imagine the horrors; they came without warning, out of nowhere.
Nor would they go away. Not now. The memory of Mamoulian was with him-night and day and restless night-from then on. He became aware (was it just his dream life, denied its span in sleepless nights, spreading into wakefulness?) of another world, hovering beyond or behind the facade of reality.
There was no time for prevarication. He had to leave; forget Whitehead and Carys and the law. Trick his way out of the country and into America any way he could; away to a place where real was real, and dreams stayed under the eyelids, where they belonged.