"Just find Toy for me. Is it so much to ask for all my favors to you?"
She found herself rocking with the rhythm of his cradling.
"Toy never loved you," he was saying, "n.o.body has ever loved you."
That was a lie: and a tactical error. The words were cold water on her sleepy face. She was loved! Marty loved her. The runner; her runner.
Mamoulian sensed his miscalculation.
"Don"t defy me," he said; the cooing had gone from his voice.
"Go to h.e.l.l," she replied.
"As you wish . . ."
There was a falling note in his words, as though the issue was closed and done with. He didn"t leave his station by the door, however. She felt him close. Was he waiting for her to tire, and come out? she wondered. Persuasion by physical violence wasn"t his style, surely; unless he was going to use Breer. She hardened herself against the possibility. She"d claw his watery eyes out.
Minutes pa.s.sed, and she was sure the European was still outside though she could hear neither movement or breath.
And then, the pipes began to rumble. Somewhere in the system, a tide was moving. The sink made a sucking sound, the water in the toilet bowl splashed, the toilet lid flapped open and slammed closed again as a gust of fetid air was discharged from below. This was his doing somehow, though it seemed a vacuous exercise. The toilet farted again: the smell was noxious.
"What"s happening?" she asked under her breath.
A gruel of filth had started to seep over the lip of the toilet and dribble onto the floor. Wormy shapes moved in it. She shut her eyes. This was a fabrication, conjured up by the European to subdue her mutiny: she would ignore it. But even with canceled sight the illusion persisted. The water splashed more loudly as the flood rose, and in the stream she heard wet heavy things flopping onto the bathroom floor.
"Well?" said Mamoulian.
She cursed the illusions and their charmer in one vitriolic breath.
Something skittered across her bare foot. She was d.a.m.ned if she was going to open her eyes and give him another sense to a.s.sault, but curiosity forced them open.
The dribbles from the toilet had become a stream, as if the sewers had backed up and were discharging their contents at her feet. Not simply excrement and water; the soup of hot dirt had bred monsters. Creatures that could be found in no sane zoology: things that had been fish once, crabs once; fetuses flushed down clinic drains before their mothers could wake to scream; beasts that fed on excrement whose bodies were a pun on what they devoured. Everywhere in the silt forsaken stuff, offal and dregs, raised itself on queasy limbs and flapped and paddled toward her.
"Make them go away," she said.
They had no intention of retreat. The sc.u.mmy tide still edged forward: the fauna the toilet was vomiting up were getting larger.
"Find Toy," the voice on the other side of the door bargained. Her sweaty hands slid on the handle, but the door refused to open. There was no hint of a reprieve.
"Let me out."
"Just say yes."
She flattened herself against the door. The toilet lid flew open in the strongest gust yet, and this time stayed open. The flood thickened and the pipes creaked as something that was almost too large for them began to force its way toward the light. She heard its claws rake the sides of the pipes, she heard the chatter of its teeth.
"Say yes."
"No."
A glistening arm was thrown up from the belching bowl, and flailed around until its digits fixed on the sink. Then it began to haul itself up, its water-rotted bones rubbery.
"Please!" she screamed.
"Just say yes."
"Yes! Yes! Anything! Yes!"
As she spat out the words the handle of the door moved. She turned her back on the emerging horror and put her weight down on the handle at the same time as her other hand fumbled with the key. Behind her, she heard the sound of a body contorting itself to fetch itself free. She turned the key the wrong way, and then the right. Muck splashed on her shin. It was almost at her heels. As she opened the door sodden fingers s.n.a.t.c.hed at her ankle, but she threw herself out of the bathroom before it could catch her, and onto the landing, slamming the door behind her.
Mamoulian, his victory won, had gone.
After that, she couldn"t bring herself to go back into the bathroom. At her request the Razor-Eater supplied a bucket for her to use, which he brought and took away again with reverence.
The European never spoke of the incident again. There was no need. That night she did as he had asked her. She opened up her head and went to look for Bill Toy and, within a matter of minutes, she found him. So, soon after, did the Last European.
43
Not since the halcyon days of his big wins at the casinos had Marty possessed so much money as he did now. Two thousand pounds was no fortune to Whitehead, but it raised Marty to blind heights. Perhaps the old man"s story about Carys had been a lie. If so, he"d wheedle the truth out of him in time. Slowee, slowee, catchee monkey, as Feaver used to say. What would Feaver say to see Marty now, with money lapping at his feet?
He left the car near Euston, and caught a cab to the Strand to cash the check. Then he went in search of a good evening suit. Whitehead had suggested an outfitter off Regent Street. The fitters treated him with some brusqueness at first, but once he showed them the color of his money the tune changed to sycophancy. Curbing his smiles, Marty played the fastidious buyer; they fawned and fussed; he let them. Only after three-quarters of an hour of their fey attentions did he alight on something he liked: a conservative choice, but immaculately styled. The suit, and the accompanying wardrobe-shoes, shirts, a selection of ties-bit more deeply into the cash than he"d antic.i.p.ated, but he let it go, like water, through his fingers. The suit, and one set of accoutrements, he took with him. The rest he had sent to the Sanctuary.
It was lunchtime when he emerged, and he wandered around looking for somewhere to eat. There"d been a Chinese restaurant on Gerard Street that he and Charmaine had frequented whenever funds allowed: he returned there now. Though its facade had been modernized to accommodate a large neon sign, the interior was much the same; the food as good as he remembered. He sat in splendid isolation and ate and drank his way through the menu, happy to play the rich man to the hilt. He ordered half a dozen cigars after the meal, downed several brandies and tipped like a millionaire. Papa would be proud of me, he thought. When he was full, drunk and satisfied, he headed out into the balmy afternoon. It was time he followed the rest of Whitehead"s instructions.
He made his way through Soho, wandering for a few minutes until he found a betting office. As he entered the smoky interior, guilt a.s.sailed him, but he told his spoilsport conscience to go hang. He was obeying orders in coming here.
There were races at Newmarket, Kempton Park and Doncaster-each name evoked some bittersweet a.s.sociation-and he bet freely on every one on the board. Soon the old enthusiasm had killed the last smidgen of guilt. It was like living, this game, but it tasted stronger. It dramatized, with its promised gains, its too-easy losses, the sense he had had as a child of what adult life must be like. Of how, once one grew out of boredom and into the secret, bearded, erectile world of manhood, every word would be loaded with risk and promise, every breath taken won in the face of extraordinary odds.
At first, the money dribbled away from him; he didn"t bet heavily, but the frequency of the losses began to dwindle his reserves. Then, three-quarters of an hour into the session things took a turn for the better; horses he plucked from thin air romped home at ridiculous odds, one after the other. In one race he made back what he"d lost in the previous two, and more. The enthusiasm turned to euphoria. This was the very feeling he"d tried so hard to describe to Whitehead-of being in charge of chance.
Finally, the wins began to bore him. Pocketing his winnings without taking any proper account of them, he left. The money in his jacket was a thick wedge; it ached to be spent. On instinct, he sauntered through the crowds to Oxford Street, selected an expensive shop, and bought a nine-hundred-pound fur coat for Charmaine, then hailed a cab to take it to her. It was a slow journey; the wage-slaves were beginning to make their escape, and the roads were snarled. But his mood forbade irritation.
He had the taxi drop him off at the corner of the street, because he wanted to walk the length of it. Things had changed since he"d last been here, two and a half months before. Early spring was now early summer. Now, at almost six in the evening, the warmth of the day hadn"t dissipated; there was growing time in it still. Nor, he thought, was it just the season that had advanced, become riper; he had too.
He felt real. G.o.d in Heaven, that was it. At last he was able to operate in the world again, affect it, shape it.
Charmaine came to the door looking fl.u.s.tered. She looked more fl.u.s.tered still when Marty stepped in, kissed her, and put the coat box in her arms.
"Here. I bought you something."
She frowned. "What is it, Marty?"
"Take a look. It"s for you."
"No," she said. "I can"t."
The front door was still open. She was ushering him back toward it, or at least attempting to. But he wouldn"t go. There was something beneath the look of embarra.s.sment on her face: anger, panic even. She pressed the box back at him, unopened.
"Please go," she said.
"It"s a surprise," he told her, determined not to be repelled.
"I don"t want any surprises. Just go. Ring me tomorrow."
He wouldn"t take the proffered box, and it fell between them, breaking open. The sumptuous gleam of the coat spilled out; she couldn"t help but stoop to pick it up.
"Oh, Marty . . ." she whispered.
As he looked down at her gleaming hair someone appeared at the top of the stairs.
"What"s the problem?"
Marty looked up. Flynn was standing on the half-landing, dressed only in underwear and socks. He was unshaven. For a few seconds he said nothing, juggling the options. Then the smile, his panacea, swarmed across his face.
"Marty," he exclaimed, "what"s buzzing?"
Marty looked at Charmaine, who was looking at the floor. She- had the coat in her arms, bundled up like a dead animal.
"I see," Marty said.
Flynn descended a few stairs. His eyes were bloodshot.
"It"s not what you think. Really it isn"t," he said, stopping halfway down, waiting to see which way Marty would jump.
"It"s exactly what you think, Marty," Charmaine said quietly. "I"m sorry you had to find out like this, but you never rang. I said ring before you come round."
"How long?" Marty murmured.
"Two years, more or less."
Marty glanced up at Flynn. They"d played together with that black girl-Ursula, was it?-only a few weeks past, and when the milk was spilt Flynn had slid away. He"d come back here, to Charmaine. Had he washed, Marty wondered, before he"d joined Charmaine in their double bed? Probably not.
"Why him?" he found himself asking. "Why him, for Christ"s sake? Couldn"t you have improved on that?"
Flynn said nothing in his own defense.
"I think you should leave, Marty," Charmaine said, clumsily attempting to rebox the coat.
"He"s such a s.h.i.t," Marty said. "Can"t you see what a s.h.i.t he is?"
"He was there," she retorted bitterly. "You weren"t."
"He"s a f.u.c.king pimp, for Christ"s sake!"
"Yes," she said, letting the box lie, and standing up at last, eyes furious, to spit all the truth out. "Yes, that"s right. Why do you think I took up with him?"
"No, Char-"
"Hard times, Marty. Nothing to live on but fresh air and love letters."
She"d wh.o.r.ed for him; the f.u.c.ker had made her wh.o.r.e. On the stairs, Flynn had gone a sickly color. "Hold up, Marty," he said. "No way did I make her do a d.a.m.n thing she didn"t want to do."
Marty moved to the bottom of the stairs.
"Isn"t that right?" Flynn appealed to Charmaine. "Tell him, woman! Did I make you do a thing you didn"t want to do?"
"Don"t," Charmaine said, but Marty was already starting up the stairs. Flynn stood his ground for two steps only, then retreated backward. "Hey, come on . . ." Palms up, to keep the blows at bay.
"You made my wife a wh.o.r.e?"
"Would I do that?"
"You made my wife a f.u.c.king wh.o.r.e?"
Flynn turned and made a bid for the landing. Marty stumbled up the stairs after him.
"b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"
The escape ploy worked: Flynn was safely behind the door and wedging a chair against it before Marty could get to the landing. All he could do was beat on the panels, demanding, uselessly, that Flynn let him in. But it took only a small interruption to spoil his anger. By the time Charmaine got to the top of the stairs he"d left off haranguing the door, and was leaning back on the wall, eyes stinging. She said nothing; she had neither the means nor the desire to cross the chasm between them.
"Him," was all he could say. "Of all people."
"He"s been very good to me," she replied. She had no intention of pleading their case; Marty was the intruder here. She owed him no apology.
"It wasn"t as if I walked out."
"It was your doing, Marty. You lost for both of us. I never got a say in the matter." She was trembling, he saw, with fury, not with sorrow. "You gambled everything we had. Every d.a.m.n thing. And lost it for us both."
"We"re not dead."
"I"m thirty-two. I feel twice that."
"He makes you tired."
"You"re so stupid," she said, without feeling; her cool contempt withered him. "You never saw how fragile everything was: you just went on being the way it suited you to be. Stupid and selfish."
Marty bit at his upper lip, watching her mouth as it spoke the truth at him. He wanted to hit her, but that wouldn"t make her any less right; just bruised and right. Shaking his head, he stepped past her and thundered down the stairs. She was silent above.
He pa.s.sed the box, the discarded fur. They could f.u.c.k on it, he thought: Flynn would like that. He picked up the bag containing his suit, and left. The gla.s.s in the window rattled he slammed the door so hard.
"You can come out now," Charmaine said to the closed bedroom door. "The shooting"s over."