It is indeed a lamentable peculiarity of our fallen nature that the moment of relief from the smart of anxiety is seldom marked by so complete a mental calmness and moderation as could be wished.
Ruth rose slowly, with the book still in her hand, and Charles got off his knees as best he could, and stood with one hand on the railing of the balcony, as if to steady himself. His usually pale face was crimson.
Ruth closed the book in silence, and with a dreadful precision put it back in its accustomed place. Then she turned and faced him, with the western light full upon her stern face, and another light of contempt and indignation burning in her direct eyes.
"Poor little girl," she said, in a low distinct voice. "What a triumph to have succeeded in making her unhappy. She is very young, and she did not understand the rules of the game. Poor, foolish little girl!"
If he had been red before, he was pale enough now. He drew himself up, and met her direct gaze without flinching. He did not speak, and she left him standing in the window, and went slowly along the balcony and down the little staircase into the room below.
As she was about to leave the room he moved forward suddenly, and said, "Miss Deyncourt!"
Involuntarily she stopped short, in obedience to the stern authority of the tone.
"You are unjust."
She did not answer and left the room.
CHAPTER XVIII.
"Uncle John," said Ruth next morning, taking Mr. Alwynn aside after breakfast, "we are leaving by the early train, are we not?"
"No, my love, it is quite impossible. I have several papers to identify and rearrange."
"We have stayed a day longer than we intended as it is. Most of the others go early. Do let us go too."
"It is most natural, I am sure, my dear, that you should wish to get home," said Mr. Alwynn, looking with sympathetic concern at his niece; "and why your aunt has not forwarded your letters I can"t imagine. But still, if we return by the mid-day train, Ruth, you will have plenty of time to answer any letters that--ahem!--seem to require immediate attention, before the post goes; and I don"t see my way to being ready earlier."
Ruth had not even been thinking of Dare and his letters; but she saw that by the early train she was not destined to depart, and watched the other guests take leave with an envious sigh. She was anxious to be gone. The last evening, after the episode in the library, had been interminably long. Already the morning, though breakfast was hardly over, seemed to have dragged itself out to days in length. A sense of constraint between two people who understand and amuse each other is very galling. Ruth had felt it so. All the previous evening Charles had hardly spoken to her, and had talked mainly to Lady Hope-Acton, who was somewhat depressed, and another elder lady. A good-night and a flat candlestick can be presented in a very distant manner, and as Ruth received hers from Charles that evening, and met the grave, steady glance that was directed at her, she perceived that he had not forgiven her for what she had said.
She felt angry again at the idea that he should venture to treat her with a coldness which seemed to imply that she had been in the wrong.
The worst of it was that she felt she was to blame; that she had no right whatever to criticise Charles and his actions. What concern were they of hers? How much more suitable, how much more eloquent a dignified silence would have been. She could not imagine now, as she thought it over, why she had been so unreasonably annoyed at the moment as to say what she had done. Yet the reason was not far to seek, if she had only known where to lay her hand on it. She was uneasy, impatient; she longed to get out of the house. And it was still early; only eleven. Eleven till twelve. Twelve till one. One till half-past. Two whole hours and a half to be got through before the Stoke Moreton omnibus would bear her away. She looked round for a refuge during that weary age, and found it nearer than many poor souls do in time of need, namely, at her elbow, in the shape, the welcome shape of the shy man--almost the only remnant of the large party whose dispersion she had just been watching. Whenever Ruth thought of that shy man afterwards, which was not often, it was with a sincere hope that he had forgotten the forwardness of her behavior on that particular morning. She wished to see the picture-gallery. She would of all things like a walk afterwards. No, she had not been as far as the beech-avenue; but she would like to go.
Should they look at the pictures first--now--no time like the present?
How pleased he was! How proud! He felt that his shyness had gone forever; that Miss Deyncourt would, no doubt, like to hear a few anecdotes of his college life; that a quiet man, who does not make himself cheap to start with, often wins in the end; that Miss Deyncourt had unusual appreciation, not only for pictures, but for reserved and intricate characters that yet (here he ventured on a little joke, and laughed at it himself) had their lighter side. And in the long picture-gallery Ruth and he studied the old masters, as they had seldom been studied before, with an intense and ignorant interest on the one hand, and an entire absence of mind on the other.
Charles, who had done a good deal of pacing up and down his room the night before, and had arrived at certain conclusions, pa.s.sed through the gallery once, but did not stop. He looked grave and preoccupied, and hardly answered a question of Mr. Conway"s about one of the pictures.
Half-past eleven at last. A tall inlaid clock in the gallery mentioned the hour by one sedate stroke; the church clock told the village the time of day a second later. They had nearly finished the pictures. Never mind. She could take half an hour to put on her hat, and surely any beech-avenue, even on a dull day like this might serve to while away the remaining hour before luncheon.
They had come to the last picture of the Danvers collection, and Ruth was dwelling fondly on a very well-developed cow by Cuyp, as if she could hardly tear herself away from it, when she heard a step coming up the staircase from the hall, and presently Charles pushed open the carved folding-doors which shut off the gallery from the rest of the house, and looked in. She was conscious that he was standing in the door-way, but new beauties in the cow, which had hitherto escaped her, engaged her whole attention at the moment, and no one can attend to two things at once.
Charles did not come any farther; but, standing in the door-way, he called to the shy man who went to him, and the two talked together for a few moments. Ruth gazed upon the cow until it became so fixed upon the retina of her eye that, when she tried to admire an old Florentine cabinet near it, she still saw its portrait; and when, in desperation, she turned away to look out of the window across the sky and sloping park, the shadow of the cow hung like a portent.
A moment later Mr. Conway came hurrying back to her much perturbed, to say he had quite forgotten till this moment, had not in the least understood, in fact, etc. Danvers" gray cob, that he had thoughts of buying, was waiting at the door for him to try--in fact, had been waiting some time. No idea, upon his soul--
Ruth cut his apology short before he had done more than flounder well into it.
"You must go and try it at once," she said with decision; and then she added, as Charles drew near: "I have changed my mind about going out. It looks as if it might turn to rain. I shall get through some arrears of letter-writing instead."
Mr. Conway stammered, and repeated himself, and finally rushed out of the gallery. Ruth expected that Charles would accompany him, but he remained standing near the window, apparently engaged like herself in admiring the view.
"It struck me," he said, slowly, with his eyes half shut, "that Conway proved rather a broken reed just now."
"He did," said Ruth. She suddenly felt that she could understand what it was in Charles that exasperated Lady Mary so much.
He came a step nearer, and his manner altered.
"I sent him away," he said, looking gravely at her, "because I wished to speak to you."
Ruth did not answer or turn her head, though she felt he was watching her. Her eyes absently followed two young fallow-deer in the park, cantering away in a series of hops on their long stiff legs.
"I cannot speak to you here," said Charles, after a pause.
Ruth turned round.
"Silence is golden sometimes. I think quite enough has been said already."
"Not by me. You expressed yourself with considerable frankness. I wish to follow your example."
"You said I was unjust at the time. Surely that was sufficient."
"So insufficient that I am going to repeat it. I tell you again that you are unjust in not being willing to hear what I have to say. I have seen a good deal of harm done by misunderstandings, Miss Deyncourt. Pride is generally at the bottom of them. We are both suffering from a slight attack of that malady now; but I value your good opinion too much to hesitate, if, by any little sacrifice of my own pride, I can still retain it. If, after your remarks yesterday, I can make the effort (and it _is_ an effort) to ask you to hear something I wish to say, you, on your side, ought not to refuse to listen. It is not a question of liking; you _ought_ not to refuse."
He spoke in an authoritative tone, which gave weight to his words, and in spite of herself she saw the truth of what he said. She was one of those rare women who, being convinced against their will, are _not_ of the same opinion still. It was ignominious to have to give way; but, after a moment"s struggle with herself, she surmounted her dislike to being overruled, together with a certain unreasoning tenacity of opinion natural to her s.e.x, and said, quietly:
"What do you wish me to do?"
Charles saw the momentary struggle, and honored her for a quality which women seldom give men occasion to honor them for.
"Do you dislike walking?"
"No."
"Then, if you will come out-of-doors, where there is less likelihood of interruption than in the house, I will wait for you here."
She went silently down the picture-gallery, half astonished to find herself doing his bidding. She put on her walking things mechanically, and came back in a few minutes to find him standing where she had left him. In silence they went down-stairs, and through the piazza with its flowering orange-trees, out into the gardens, where, on the stone bal.u.s.trade, the peac.o.c.ks were att.i.tudinizing and conversing in the high key in which they always proclaim a change of weather and their innate vulgarity to the world. Charles led the way towards a little rushing brook which divided the gardens from the park.
"I think you must have had a very low opinion of me beforehand to say what you did yesterday," he remarked, suddenly.
"I was angry," said Ruth. "However true what I said may have been, I had no right to say it to--a comparative stranger. That is why I repeat that it would be better not to make matters worse by mentioning the subject again. It is sure to annoy us both. Let it rest."
"Not yet," said Charles, dryly. "As a comparative stranger, I want to know,"--stopping and facing her--"exactly what you mean by saying that she, Lady Grace, did not understand the rules of the game."
"I cannot put it in other words," said Ruth, her courage rising as she felt that a battle was imminent.
"Perhaps I can for you. Perhaps you meant to say that you believed I was in the habit of amusing myself at other people"s expense; that--I see your difficulty in finding the right words--that it was my evil sport and pastime to--shall we say--raise expectations which it was not my intention to fulfil?"