h.e.l.lo young daoists, today we are going to be talking about a topic near and dear to every Xianxia author. Random descriptions! They are simple and effective, and if used masterly, they can look like they are useful to the plot!Really, they are simple. But actually using them in a good way is quite hard. Let me show you a bad example:
"Zhen Yimu tapped his foot on the floor. It was very noisy and made a clear ringing noise throughout the hallway. Zhen Yimu"s body was as straight as a javelin. The walls were painted aqua and had a tinge of sea green to it. Wavy patterns on the walls made it seem like the room was moving. Zhen Yimu was waiting for his boss, Tian Chen, to show up. It had been over a month since they made any contact! Zhen Yimu was very annoyed and suddenly.."
The filler here is really bland and doesn"t tell you much. It talks about the walls and his boss, but doesn"t make itself seem like actual plot. Here"s an improvised version:
"Zhen Yimu tapped his foot angrily, the sound echoing throughout the hallway and room. Zhen Yimu"s back was as straight as a javelin. The walls looked very weird and were very mesmerizing. It almost put Zhen Yimu in a trance! Zhen Yimu quickly looked at the floor, trying to hide his shocked expression. Zhen Yimu was waiting for his lousy boss, Tian Chen to show up and officially fire him. Technically, he was still supposed to work at Tian Chen"s office, but the work he did was so revolting he couldn"t bring himself to come. It was all that Tian Chen"s fault! Tian Chen has convinced Zhen Yimu to invest a good portion of his savings. It turns out Tian Chen didn"t even bother to call him! Even just a text would be fine, after all, they were still brothers back then. But now he never wanted to be a.s.sociated with Tian Chen. The sound of a door opening made Zhen Yimu lift his head, and what he saw shocked him..."
I think that"s one of my better examples! Very long, increases the word count by a lot, and gives focus on key points of what to do.
It really helps when a line like "Technically he was still supposed to work at Tian Chen"s office, but the work he did was so revolting he couldn"t bring himself to come." Is used because it will always intrigue the reader! What work was Zhen Yimu supposed to do? What did he do/see that made him so disgusted? Things like this set up good points to branch out and explore new realms of possibility. Another thing that sentence does is give a way for Tian Chen to explain himself and they reunite.
Goodbye young daoists! I will (sadly) not be releasing on the weekend and there may be a few b.u.mps here and there with my release date. I am going on a vacation so I"m sorry if I can"t upload a chapter. Anyway, I am really interested in what YOU, the viewers, want in terms of advice. Am I doing my job well? Welp, that ends the chapter for today. See ya in the next one!
Remember kids, every word counts.