The Dao Of Getting The Author Badge

"Okay, well, thanks for the Tums." I tried to sound brave. "And save a place for me. This really can"t take that long. I should be able to get done here and join you guys for dinner."

"Don"t rush. Really. You might meet someone you like and want to hang out. Don"t worry about it if you do. I won"t be mad and I"ll just tell Damien and the Twins that you"re reconnoitering."

"I"m not going to become one of them, Stevie Rae."

"I believe you," she said, but her eyes looked suspiciously big and round.

"So I"ll see you soon."

""Kay. See you soon," she said, and started to follow the sidewalk back to the main building.

I didn"t want to watch her walk away—she looked all forlorn and spanked puppy-like. Instead I climbed up the steps and told myself that this was going to be no big deal—nothing worse than the time my Barbie sister talked me into going to cheer-leading camp with her (I don"t know what the h.e.l.l I"d been thinking). At least this fiasco wouldn"t last a week. They"ll probably cast another circle, which was actually very cool, do some unusual praying like Neferet did, and then break for dinner. That would be my cue to smile nicely and slip out. Easy-peasy.

The torches on either side of the thick wooden door were lit by gas and not the raw flame sconces used in Nyx"s Temple. I reached my hand toward the heavy iron knocker, but, with a sound that was disturbingly like a sigh, it opened away from my touch.

"Merry meet, Zoey."

Oh. My. G.o.d. It was Erik. He was wearing all black, and his dark, curly hair and his insanely blue eyes reminded me of Clark Kent—well, okay, without the dorky gla.s.ses and the nerdy slicked- back hair...so...I supposed that would mean he actually reminded me (again) of Superman—well, without the cape or tights or the big S.

Then the babble in my mind totally shut itself up when his oil- dampened finger slid over my forehead, tracing the five points of the pentagram.

"Blessed be," he said.

"Blessed be," I replied, and would be eternally grateful that my voice didn"t croak or crack or squeak. Ah, man, he smelled good, but I couldn"t place what he smelled like. It wasn"t any of the tired, overused colognes guys apply by the gallon. He smelled like...he smelled like...the forest at night just after it"s rained.. .something earthy and clean and.

"You can come on in," he was saying.

"Oh, uh, thanks," I said brilliantly. I stepped inside. And then I stopped. The interior was all one big room. The circular-shaped walls were draped in black velvet, totally blocking the windows and the silver moonlight. I could see that under the heavy curtains there were weird shapes, which started to freak me out until I realized that—h.e.l.lo—it"s a rec room. They must have shoved the TVs and game stuff to the sides of the room and covered them so everything would look, well, creepier. Then my attention was captured by the circle itself. It was situated in the middle of the room and made up entirely of candles in tall red gla.s.s containers, like the prayer candles you can buy in the Mexican foods section of the grocery store that smell like roses and old ladies. There must have been more than a hundred of them and they lit up the kids who were standing in a loose circle behind them talking and laughing with a ghostly light that was tinted red. The kids were all wearing black and I noticed right away that none of them were wearing any embroidered rank insignia, but each had a thick silver chain that glittered around their necks from which an odd symbol dangled. It looked like two crescent moons positioned back to back against a full moon.

"There you are, Zoey!"

Aphrodite"s voice slid across the room just ahead of her body. She was wearing a long black dress that flashed with onyx beading, reminding me weirdly of a dark version of Neferet"s beautiful gown. She had on the same necklace as the others, but hers was bigger and outlined in red jewels that might have been garnets. Her blond hair was loose and draped around her like a gold veil. She was entirely too pretty.

"Erik, thanks for making Zoey welcome. I can take it from here." She sounded normal, and she even rested her manicured fingertips on Erik"s arm for a second in what the uninformed might think of as just a friendly gesture, but her face told a different story. It was set and cold, and her eyes seemed to blaze into his. Erik barely gave her a look, and he definitely moved his arm away from her touch. Then he gave me a quick smile and, without glancing at Aphrodite again, walked away.

Great. Exactly what I didn"t need was to get in the middle of a nasty breakup. But I couldn"t seem to help the fact that my eyes followed him across then room.

Stupid me. Again. Sigh.

Aphrodite cleared her throat, and I tried (unsuccessfully) not to look like I"d been caught doing something I shouldn"t have been doing. Her slick, mean smile said there was absolutely no doubt that she"d noticed my interest in Erik (and his interest in me). And, again, I wondered if she knew it had been me in the hall the day before.

Well, it wasn"t like I could ask her.

"You need to hurry, but I brought something for you to change into." Aphrodite was talking quickly as she motioned for me to follow her to the girls" restroom. She threw me a disgusted look over her shoulder. "It"s not like you can come to a Dark Daughters" ritual dressed like that." Once we were in the bathroom she brusquely handed me a dress that had been hanging from one of the part.i.tions and kinda pushed me into the stall. "You can put your clothes on the hanger and carry them back to the dorm like that."

There didn"t seem to be any arguing with her and, anyway, I felt like an outsider enough as it was. Being dressed differently made me feel like I"d shown up at a party dressed like a duck, but no one had told me it wasn"t a costume party so everyone else was wearing jeans.

I quickly got out of my clothes and slid the black dress over my head, sighing with relief when it fit. It was simple but flattering. The material was the soft clingy stuff that never wrinkles. It had long sleeves and a round neckline that showed most of my shoulders (good thing I"d worn my black bra). All around the neckline, the edge of the long sleeves, and the hem, which was right above my knee, were sewn little red sparkly beads. It really was pretty. I slipped my shoes back on thinking, happily, that a nice pair of ballet flats can go with just about any outfit, and stepped out of the stall.

"Well, at least it fits." I said.

But I noticed Aphrodite wasn"t looking at the dress. She was looking at my Mark, which bugged the c.r.a.p out of me. Okay, my Mark is colored in—get over it already! I didn"t say anything, though. I mean, this was her "party" and I was a guest. Translation: I was totally outnumbered, so I better be good.

"I"ll be leading the ritual, of course, so I"m gonna be too busy to hold your hand through it."

Okay, I should"ve just kept my mouth shut, but she was wearing on my last nerve. "Look, Aphrodite, I don"t need to you hold my hand."

Her eyes narrowed and I braced myself for another psycho girl scene. Instead she smiled a totally non-nice smile that made her look like a snarling dog. Not that I was calling her a b.i.t.c.h, but the a.n.a.logy seemed scarily accurate.

"Of course you don"t need your hand held. You"ll just breeze right through this little ritual like you"ve breezed through everything else here. I mean, after all, you are Neferet"s new favorite."

Wonderful. On top of the Erik issue and the weirdness over my Mark issue, she was jealous that Neferet was my mentor.

"Aphrodite, I don"t think I"m Neferet"s new favorite. I"m just new." I tried to sound reasonable, and I even smiled.

"Whatever. So, are you ready?"

I gave up trying to reason with her and nodded, wishing this whole ritual thing would hurry up and be over.

"Fine. Let"s go." She led me out of the rest room and over to the circle. I recognized the two girls we walked up to as two of the "hags from h.e.l.l" who had followed her around in the cafeteria. Only instead of wearing pursed-face, I-just- ate-lemon expressions, they were smiling warmly at me.

No. I wasn"t fooled. But I made my face smile, too. When in enemy territory it"s best to blend in and look inconspicuous and/or stupid.

"Hi, I"m Enyo," said the taller of the two. She was, of course, blonde, but her long, flowing locks were more the color of waving wheat than gold. Although in the candlelight it was hard to be sure which cliche was a more appropriate description. And I still didn"t believe she was a natural blonde.

"Hi," I said.

"I"m Deino," said the other girl. She was obviously mixed and had a gorgeous combination of really pretty, coffee-with-lots-of-cream skin and excellent thick, curly hair, which probably had never had the nerve to nap up on her for an instant, no matter the humidity.

The two of them were freakishly perfect.

"Hi," I said again. Feeling more than a little claustrophobic, I moved into the s.p.a.ce they"d created between them.

"You three enjoy the ritual," Aphrodite said.

"Oh, we will!" Enyo and Deino said together. The three of them shared a look that made my skin crawl. I turned my attention away from them before my better judgment won out over my pride and I bolted from the room.

I had a good view of the inner area of the circle now, and again it was similar to the one in Nyx"s Temple, except this one had a chair pulled up beside the table and there was someone sitting in it. Well, kinda sitting. Actually, the whoever was slumped down with the hood of a cloak covering his or her head.

Well.. .hmmm...

Anyway, the table was draped with the same black velvet as the walls, and there was a G.o.ddess statue on it, a bowl of fruit and bread, several goblets, and a pitcher. And a knife. I squinted to be sure I was seeing right. Yep. It was a knife— it had a bone handle and a long, wicked curving blade that looked entirely too sharp to be used for cutting fruit or bread safely. A girl I thought I recognized from the dorm was lighting several fat sticks of incense that sat in ornately carved incense holders on the table, and totally ignoring whoever was slumped in the chair. Jeesh, was the kid asleep?

Immediately the air began to fill with smoke that I swear was green-tinged and curled, ghost-like, around the room. I expected it to smell sweet, like the incense at Nyx"s Temple, but when a feathery wisp of smoke reached me and I breathed it in I was surprised by its bitterness. It was kinda familiar and I frowned, trying to figure out what it reminded me of...c.r.a.p, what was it? It was almost like bay leaf, with a clove-y middle. (I had to remember to thank Grandma Redbird later for teaching me about spices and their smells.) I sniffed again, intrigued, and my head felt a little woozy. Weird. Okay, the incense was odd. It seemed to change as it filled the room, like expensive perfume that changes with each person who wears it. I breathed in again. Yep. Clove and bay, but there was something at the end of it; something that made the scent finish tangy and bitter. dark and mystic and alluring in its.. .naughtiness.

Naughtiness? Then I knew.

Well, h.e.l.l! They were filling the room with pot smoke mixed with spices. Unbelievable. I"d stood up to peer pressure and for years said no to even the most polite offers to try one of those gross-looking homemade joints that get pa.s.sed around at parties and whatnot. (I mean, please. Is that even sanitary? And just exactly why would I want to do a drug that made me want to obsessively eat fattening snack foods?) And now here I stood, immersed in pot smoke. Sigh. Kayla would never believe it.

Then, feeling paranoid (probably another side effect of the pot invasion) I looked around the circle, sure I"d see a professor who was ready to leap in and haul us all away to...to...I dunno, something unspeakably horrid, like the boot camp Maury sends all of his troubled teen guests to.

But, thankfully, unlike the circle in Nyx"s Temple, there were no adult vamps here, and only about twenty kids. They were talking quietly and acting like the totally illegal marijuana incense was no big deal. (Pot heads.) Trying to breathe shallowly, I turned to the girl to my right. When in doubt (or panic), make small talk.

"So.Deino is a, well, different name. Does it mean something special?"

"Deino means terrible;" she said, smiling sweetly.

From my other side the tall blonde chimed in perkily, "And Enyo means warlike."

"Huh," I said, trying hard to be polite.

"Yeah, Pemphredo, which means wasp, is the one lighting the incense," explained Enyo. "We got the names from Greek mythology. They were the three sisters of the Gorgon and Scylla. Myth says they were born as hags who shared an eye, but we decided that was probably just bulls.h.i.t male-dominant propaganda written by human men who wanted to keep strong women down."

"Really?" I didn"t know what else to say. Really.

"Yeah," Deino said. "Human men suck."

"They should all die," Enyo said.

On that lovely thought the music suddenly started, making it impossible (thankfully) to talk.

Okay, the music was disturbing. It had a deep, pulsing beat that was ancient as well as modern. Like someone had mixed one of those nasty bootie-humping songs with a tribal mating dance. And then, much to my shock, Aphrodite began to dance her way around the circle. Yes, I suppose you could say she was hot. I mean, she had a good body and she moved like Catherine Zet Jones in Chicago. But somehow it didn"t work for me. And I don"t mean because I"m not gay (even though I"m not gay). It didn"t work because it seemed like a crude imitation of Neferet"s dance to "She Walks in Beauty." If this music was a poem it would be more like "Some Ho Grinds Her Bootie."

During Aphrodite"s crotch-flailing display everyone was, naturally, staring at her, so I looked around the circle, pretending that I wasn"t really looking for Erik, until...oh, c.r.a.p...I found him almost directly opposite me. And he was the one kid in the room not watching Aphrodite. He was watching me. Before I could figure out whether I should look away, smile at him or wave or whatever (Damien had said to smile at the kid, and Damien was a self-proclaimed expert on guys), the music stopped and I looked from Erik to Aphrodite. She was standing in the middle of the circle in front of the table. Purposefully, she picked up a big purple pillar candle in one hand, and the knife in another. The candle was lit, and she carried it, holding it in front of her like a beacon, to the side of the circle where I now noticed one yellow candle nestled amongst the red ones. I didn"t need any prodding from Warlike or Terrible (yeesh) to turn to the east. As wind ruffled my hair, from the corner of my vision I could see that she had lit the yellow candle and now she raised the knife, slashing a pentagram in the air as she spoke:

O winds of storm, in Nyx"s name I do call thee forth...

cast thy blessing, I do ask, upon the magic which shall be worked here!

I will admit that she was good. Though not as powerful as Neferet, it was obvious that she"d practiced voice control and the silky sound of her words carried easily. We turned to the south and she approached the large red pillar candle among the other red ones, and I could feel what I was already recognizing as the power of the fire and the magic circle wash over my skin.

O fire of lightning, in Nyx"s name I do call thee forth...

bringer of storms and power of magic, I ask your aid in the spell I do here work!

We turned again and, along with Aphrodite, I felt flushed and unexpectedly drawn to the blue candle that nestled within the red ones. Even though it thoroughly freaked me out, I had to keep myself from stepping from circle and joining her in the invocation of water.

O torrents of rain, in Nyx"s name I do call thee forth...
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Join me with your drowning strength, in performing this most powerful of rituals!

What in the h.e.l.l was wrong with me? I was sweating and instead of feeling just a little warm, like during the earlier ritual, the Mark on my forehead was hot —burning hot—and I swear I could hear the roar of the sea in my ears. Numbly, I turned again to the right.

O earth, deep and damp, in Nyx"s name I do call thee forth...

that I may feel the earth herself move in the roar of the storm of power which doth come when you aid me in this rite!

Aphrodite sliced the air again, and I could feel the palm of my right hand tingle, as if it ached to hold the knife and cut the air.

I smelled cut gra.s.s and heard the cry of a whippoorwill , like it was nesting invisibly in the air beside me. Aphrodite moved back to the center of the circle. Placing the still-burning purple candle back on its place in the middle of the table she completed the casting.

O spirit, wild and free, in Nyx"s name I do call thee to me! Answer me!

Stay with me during this mighty ritual and grant me thy G.o.ddess"s power!

And somehow I knew what she was going to do next. I could hear the words inside my mind—inside my own spirit. When she raised the goblet and began walking around the circle I felt her words, and even though she didn"t have the poise and power of Neferet what she said ignited within me, like I was burning from the inside out.

"This is the time of the fullness of our G.o.ddess"s moon. There is magnificence to this night. The ancients knew the mysteries of this night, and used them to strengthen themselves...and to split the veil between worlds and have adventures we only dream about today. Secret...mysterious...magical...true beauty and power in vampyre form—not tainted by human rules or law. We are not humans!" With this, her voice did ring against the walls, very much as Neferet"s had earlier. "And all your Dark Daughters and Sons ask tonight in this rite is what we have pet.i.tioned each full moon for the past year. Free the power within us so that, like the mighty felines of the wild, we know the lithe suppleness of our animal brethren and we are not bound by human chains or caged by their ignorant weaknesses."

Aphrodite had stopped right in front of me. I knew I was flushed and breathing hard, just as she was. She raised the goblet and offered it to me.

"Drink, Zoey Redbird, and join us in asking Nyx for what is ours by the right of blood and body and the Mark of the great Change—the Mark that she has already touched you with."

Yes, I know. I should have probably said no. But how? And suddenly I didn"t want to. I definitely didn"t like or trust Aphrodite, but wasn"t what she was saying basically true? My mother and stepfather"s reactions to my Mark came back hard and clear in my memory, along with Kayla"s look of fear and Drew"s and Dustin"s revulsion. And how no one had called me, or even text- messaged me, since I"d been gone. They"d just let me be dumped here to deal with a new life all on my own.

It made me sad, but it also made me mad.

I grabbed the goblet from Aphrodite and took a big drink. It was wine, but it didn"t taste like the wine in the other moon ritual. This one was sweet, too, but there was a spice to it that tasted like nothing I"d ever experienced before. It caused an explosion of sensation in my mouth that traveled with a hot, bittersweet trail down my throat and filled me with a dizzy desire to drink more and more and more of it.

"Blessed be," Aphrodite hissed at me as she jerked the goblet from me, sloshing some of the red liquid over my fingers. Then she gave me a tight, triumphant smile.

"Blessed be," I replied automatically, head still reeling with the taste of the wine. She moved to Enyo, offering her the goblet, and I couldn"t stop myself from licking my fingers to get one more taste of the wine that had spilled there. It was beyond delicious. And it smelled.. .it smelled familiar.. .but through the whoosh of dizziness in my head I couldn"t concentrate enough to figure out where I"d smelled something that incredible before.

It hardly took any time for Aphrodite to travel around the circle, giving each of the kids a taste from the goblet. I watched her closely, wishing I could have more as she returned to the table. She lifted the goblet again.

"Great and magical G.o.ddess of Night and of the full moon, she who rides through the thunder and the tempest, leading the spirits and the Elder Ones, beautiful and awesome one, who even those most ancient must obey, aid us in what we ask. Fill us with your power and magic and strength!"

Then she upended the goblet, and I watched, jealously, as she drank until she drained the last drops. When she finished drinking, the music started up again. In time with it she made her way back around the circle, dancing and laughing as she blew out each candle and told each element good-bye. And somehow, as she was moving around the circle, my vision got all screwed up because her body rippled and changed and it suddenly seemed as if I was watching Neferet again—only now she was a younger, rawer version of the High Priestess.

"Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!" she finally said. We all responded while I blinked my vision clear and the weird image of Aphrodite-as- Neferet faded, as did the burning of my Mark. But I could still taste the wine on my tongue. It was way strange. I don"t like alcohol. Seriously. I just don"t like the way it tastes. But there was something about this wine that was delicious beyond...well, beyond even G.o.diva dark chocolate truffles (I know, it"s hard to believe). And I still couldn"t figure out why it somehow seemed familiar.

Then everyone started to talk and laugh as the circle broke up. The gaslights came on overhead, making us blink from their brightness. I looked across the circle, trying to see if Erik might still be watching me, and a movement at the table caught my eye. The person who had been slumped and motionless during the entire ritual was finally moving. He kinda jerked around, awkwardly pulling himself more into a sitting position. The hood on the dark cloak fell back, and I was shocked to see bright orange-red, bushy, unattractive hair and a pudgy too-white and freckled face.

It was that annoying Elliott kid! Very, very odd that he was here. What could the Dark Daughters and Sons want with him? I looked around the room again. Yep, as I"d suspected, there wasn"t one ugly, dorky-looking kid present. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, except Elliott was attractive. He definitely didn"t belong.

He was blinking and yawning and looked like he"d been sniffing way too much of the incense. He lifted his hand to wipe something off his nose (probably one of the boogers he liked to go spelunking after) and I saw the white of thick bandages that were wrapped around his wrists. What the.?

A terrible, crawly feeling worked its way up my spine. Enyo and Deino were standing not far from me, talking animatedly to the girl they"d called Pemphredo. I walked over to them and waited till there was a lull in the conversation. Pretending that my stomach wasn"t trying to squeeze itself to death, I smiled and nodded in the general direction of Elliott.

"What"s that kid doing here?"

Enyo glanced at Elliott and then rolled her eyes. "He"s nothing. Just the refrigerator we used tonight."

"What a loser," Deino said, dismissing Elliott with a sneer. "He"s practically human," Pemphredo said in disgust. "No wonder all he"s good for is a snack bar."

My stomach felt like it was being turned inside out. "Wait, I don"t get it. Refrigerator? Snack bar?"

Deino the Terrible turned her haughty, chocolate-colored eyes on me. "That"s what we call humans—refrigerators and snack bars. You know— breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"Or any of the meals in between," warlike Enyo practically purred.

"I still don"t—" I started, but Deino interrupted me.

"Oh, come on! Don"t pretend that you couldn"t tell what was in the wine, and that you didn"t love the taste of it."

"Yeah, admit it, Zoey. It was obvious. You would have downed the whole thing—you wanted it even more than we did. We saw you licking it off your fingers," Enyo said, leaning forward all into my personal s.p.a.ce as she stared at my Mark. "That makes you some kind of freak, doesn"t it? Somehow you"re fledgling and vamp, all in one, and you wanted more of that kid"s blood than just a taste."

"Blood?" I didn"t recognize my own voice. The word "freak" kept echoing round and round in my head.

"Yes, blood," Terrible said.

I felt hot and cold at once and looked away from their knowing faces, and right into Aphrodite"s eyes. She was standing across the room from me talking to Erik. Our eyes locked and slowly, purposefully, she smiled. She was holding the goblet again, and she raised it in an almost imperceptible salute to me before taking a drink from it and turning back to laugh at something Erik had just said.

Holding myself together, I made a lame excuse to Warlike, Terrible, and the Wasp, and walked calmly from the room. The instant I closed the thick wooden door of the rec hall behind me I ran like a crazy blind person. I didn"t know where I was going, except that I wanted to be away.

I drank blood—that horrid Elliott kid"s blood—and I"d liked it! And worse, the delicious smell had been familiar because I"d smelled it before when Heath"s hands had been bleeding. It hadn"t been a new cologne I"d been drawn to; it had been his blood. And I"d smelled it again in the hall yesterday when Aphrodite had slit Erik"s thigh and I had wanted to lick up his blood, too.

I was a freak.

Finally, I couldn"t breathe and I collapsed against the cool stone of the school"s protective wall, gasping for air and puking my guts up.