I failed to hide how nervous I was as I sat in the carriage and looked both outside and at Ricardo"s face repeatedly. Currently, I was wearing not by normal black robes, but an ornate magicians" uniform. A special pattern had been drawn on the jacket with tall standing collars I was wearing, the main function of which was to hide my body. It would probably draw people"s attention, as the delicate embroidery continued throughout the entire piece.
Ricardo, on the other hand, was in his knights" uniform. The rank insignia on his clothes, which had a sword-based motif that only knights were allowed, shone radiantly even in the darkness.
I could have simply worn my military uniform but chose clothes more befitting of a magician instead because I wanted to emphasize the point.
We were heading to an evening party sponsored by Duke Aegarbel. It was officially a birthday celebration for his third son, but the party was also being held to celebrate the return of those related to House Aegarbel from the war.
This was why many people related to the military were also planned to attend, not only those who were close to the duke"s family. There was a tacit agreement not to make this publicly known out of consideration for the bereaved families of those who had died in the war.
It was probably the most suitable place for a "Hero" to step out into the world that Ricardo had prepared. I had no doubt that there would be military personnel whom I was familiar with in attendance, since it was an opportunity to get acquainted with the duke.
The stone pavement road that I could see from the carriage window, however, did not lead to the party venue. First, I had to go and pick up my partner for tonight.
"……My partner really did say that she was fine with having me as her partner, right?"
Ricardo nodded as though to provide me with a measure of relief as I could not help but confirm this at the eleventh hour out of anxiety.
"Yes. Of this there is no doubt. Lady Seraphina is someone who dislikes injustice, so she will carry out anything she has consented to without fail."
The sole woman in House Solspara, an earl"s house. She was a young lady of just sixteen with four older brothers, and yet she was already renown in high society for her beauty. I was sure that her family doted on her, considering the members who comprised it.
It was nothing short of miraculous that someone like her had agreed to partner up with someone suspicious like me, who had suddenly come up out of nowhere.
The carriage continued on into House Solspara"s grounds at a slower pace once we had pa.s.sed a large set of gates.
"We"ve arrived. Oh, it looks like she"s waiting for us outside."
I followed Ricardo"s gaze to find that two women were standing outside in front of the door.
The composed woman with blonde hair so light that it was almost silver was Lady Hannah Hyalei, the daughter of an earl, who was to be Ricardo"s partner tonight.
The girl standing next to her stole away my gaze.
Her blonde hair was tied up elegantly in a way that drew attention to her delicate nape, and her eyes, filled with the strength of her will, shone like sapphires. Above her pale orange dress, which felt like it could warm you up just by looking at it, were her vibrant lips, which were curled up into a fearless smile. I could not find even the slightest hints of fault with her appearance, and the only word that naturally popped into my mind was "beautiful".
This was Lady Seraphina. She was lovely beyond my every expectation. I had no doubts that in a few years —no, perhaps even now— she would be able to ensnare pitiful men with just a single smile.
"It"s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Solspara, Lady Hyalei. My name is Halka Glark. Please take care of me tonight."
"The pleasure is mine, Lord Glark. It"s much too ceremonious to have my partner for the night call me by my family name. Please just call me Seraphina."
"It"s a pleasure to meet you, Lord Halka. Please call me Hannah as well."
n.o.body could possibly emerge victorious against Lady Seraphina"s willful eyes or Lady Hannah"s faint smile. I decided to quickly raise the white flag in surrender instead of defying them.
"Understood. In that case, I will address you as Miss Seraphina and Miss Hannah respectively. Please feel free to address me as you please as well."
"Understood."
Miss Seraphina nodded in satisfaction. Ricardo, too, exchanged a few words with them and thanked Miss Hannah for being his partner for the night. They were probably close acquaintances who had met many times previously. I felt a friendly atmosphere in the air as they conversed.
We were to take two carriages to the party venue, as Ricardo would take a separate carriage with Miss Hannah for the rest of the way. When our carriage started running again, Miss Seraphina, who was sitting close to me, started talking to me in delight.
"I"ve always wanted to meet you. My third eldest brother fought at the same place you did, Mr. Halka."
"Is that so?"
"It is. It was Mr. Ricardo who proposed I be your partner for tonight, but I was hoping for this as well."
This was my first time hearing of this. Still, I now understood why she had agreed to be my partner.
"I was not allowed to fight for my kingdom with my brothers because I am a woman, and I could do nothing but spend my days in prayer. I would have been allowed to take up a sword and fight, had I only been a man."
Miss Seraphina was rather manly at heart despite her effeminate beauty.
The vexed look on her face convinced me that she would have had a successful military career had she been a man.
"If you had been a man, I would have wished to be your subordinate, Miss Seraphina. After all, I"m sure you would"ve made an excellent military commander."
Miss Seraphina opened her eyes wide in surprise.
"My. You really said that. That……it truly makes me happy to be your partner tonight. It gives me a place where I can fight, even if I cannot go to the battlefield."
Miss Seraphina laughed like a lion. In all likelihood, she had correctly understood what would happen once I announced myself to society. She also understood the benefits that could be gained from my doing so, and the costs that would be incurred should I fall.
"Is it all right for you to trust me so readily?"
"I trust in myself in trusting Lord Bramdy. And, Lord Halka, I"ve decided that you are someone trustworthy after meeting you today. I have faith in my ability to judge people. And besides……the history of my household is not so shallow that it will be shaken just because I allowed myself to be deceived."
She had probably said this because she had seen cleanly through all of my anxieties. I could say nothing other than that her strength of character was remarkable, especially since she was much younger than me.
Oh, she"s just so beautiful. I had completely become a devotee of hers in just this short amount of time.
"Miss Seraphina. Thank you so much for accompanying me tonight."
I had gained a large-petaled flower as an ally. And this flower was hiding a sword beneath her petals.
*
The horse galloped obediently, with its hooves clattering on the street, as the carriage proceeded through town. Riding inside the carriage was the earl of House Agnester, Brian Agnester, and me, his son Rider.
It felt rather cramped in here because I was here with my well-built father. Not to mention that Father wasn"t speaking much and the air around us was heavy because he was angry. With little other choice, I maintained my reticence and gazed out at the scenery that pa.s.sed us outside the window.
However, I did not regret the actions I had taken. Though I"ve kept thinking since then.
I had always loved tales of heroes. Those who overcame immense suffering would be bestowed with glory, and the throngs of people around them would sing their praise with wild enthusiasm.
They were always strong people with hearts of steel. They were the light to bring salvation to the lost. They, who were portrayed in many different ways, had stolen the aspirations of my heart when I was young.
I had planned to make myself a disciple of a hero who was praised for overcoming any obstacle, like in the stories.
And yet, for some odd reason, my heart had been shaken by the words of that strange servant.
I……what did I want to become? I had already decided on my end goal. I wanted to be a hero.
Then, what was it that I needed to learn from the Hero of Hedalion?
I had honestly believed that I, too, would change and become someone great if I placed myself under the tutelage of a great teacher, but now I was beginning to doubt this.
I had been so sure that the Hero had done something special, that the Hero knew something special, and that I, too, could become special if I stood by his side.
But is that really true?
The lone thought that had popped into my mind slowly began eating into my heart and spread.
"Rider."
Father was speaking to me. His eyes were sharp, which told me that he hadn"t forgiven his son yet. He continued,
"There is something you ought to say to Lord Bramdy at the party tonight. You know what that is, yes?"
"I know. I just have to apologize, right?"
His father was an earl, if I remembered correctly. His household held the same rank as mine, but Lord Bramdy himself was on bad terms with my father. Father and I would be apologizing to him together. There was no way that he wouldn"t forgive me.
Father warned me with a look of anger on his face at my offhanded att.i.tude.
"Don"t you dare act like that in front of Lord Bramdy."
"Why are you making such a fuss about this? He"s just a knight."
"……He was the closest knight to Princess Lorensia among the royal guard. I don"t know if it was simply because of his looks, but it"s still a fact that cannot be ignored. And his business skills aren"t to be looked down on either. Recently, he"s found a skilled technician out of nowhere and is increasing his results tenfold. Not to mention his skill with the sword. Even if he shuns him now, his father will have no choice but to change his mind if he continues to gain power like this."
I could not help but be stunned into silence. It was true that I had done something terrible if he was going to be an earl in the future. And then, my father ended his warning with something incredibly pathetic.
"And……Emily is angry. She seems to fancy him, as troubling as it is."
I accepted the fact that I had to apologize to Lord Bramdy after my headstrong elder sister"s name was unexpectedly brought up and I began to have pity for my father for being wrapped around her little finger.
The party venue, which we arrived at shortly, was already bustling with invitees. The dazzling lights and the luxurious grounds made the atmosphere feel completely different from the atmosphere outside. Once Father and I had stepped out onto the marble floor and finished walking around to greet our acquaintances, we stood by a window from where we could see the entrance and waited for the star of tonight"s show to make his appearance.
It was a time of boredom, which I hated more than anything else in the world. Then, something peculiar happened while I was killing time by watching people like I normally did.
The clatter of people talking suddenly quieted down one after another.
The abrupt silence slowly spread across the party venue like a ripple.
Even the people who had been speaking loudly without reserve were now whispering quietly with their acquaintances as though they were confirming something. That look on their faces……was it surprise?
"I wonder what"s going on?"
Was someone who hadn"t been invited to the party trying to force their way in? Problems like that tended to occur from time to time.
Still, the change in my surroundings was so great that curiosity killed the cat and I began looking around for the cause.
"It looks like you were right,"
said my father, who was standing next to me, in a voice only I could hear.
I was right? What was he talking about?
I followed after his gaze. At the end of it was Lord Bramdy, our objective for today, and a woman who was probably his partner for the night. His good looks were drawing attention, as it always did.
But tonight, everyone"s eyes had been stolen away by the shorter figure standing next to him.
I couldn"t see his face from where I was, but I could tell that he was a boy.
He was wearing a magician"s uniform, and the detailed pattern on his clothes displayed the magician"s specialty.
The patterns the boy was wearing were those of a florid blaze. They could be viewed as both flames or flowers, and they symbolized fire and life.
I felt my heart palpitating as I thought of the one person who suited that pattern most.
And, at the same time, I grasped what had caused this bizarre silence. I was sure that everyone here was thinking of the same person.
So he was with Lord Bramdy! That"s what Father was saying I was right about.
There was a part of me that immediately grew excited. The Hero, whom I so looked up to, was right here!
I squinted and desperately tried to capture every little thing he did in my memory. I focused all of my senses so that I would not waste a single second of this precious encounter.
He was shorter than I had imagined, and it looked like he hadn"t been blessed in terms of physique.
On the other hand, he walked forward confidently like he was completely fine under the weight all of the eyes on him, just like I had imagined he would.
The magician was coming closer. I inadvertently cried out when he was close enough that I could see his face.
"Oh……!!"
His was undoubtedly the face of the servant who had asked me those questions that day!
I felt my face grow bright red as I realized this.
I see, so that"s how it was. He was him!
To think that I had made such a blunder in front of him. How could that have happened?!
I had wanted to become his disciple, but I hadn"t even realized that he had been right in front of me as he gave me advice. I was so embarra.s.sed that I wanted to erase my past self.
He was bold with his back straight in composure, completely unlike the time he had been pretending to be a servant. Lady Seraphina Solspara, who, while being around the same age as me, was very proud and spoken of often in high society for her beauty, was standing beside him, but was merely following after him like a modest wife.
There was only upmost respect reflected in her eyes. I had no doubts about the magician"s ident.i.ty, especially if someone like Lady Seraphina was standing by his side.
"Rider,"
Father called out to me because I was acting strange. But, it had become difficult for me to walk up to the person that I so admired now that I had made my realizations. A few young men, who had remained unmoving and only looking at the Hero until now, quickly ran up to him while I was rendered immobile by my shyness.
"Father. I……"
I tried to explain to my father about the blunder I had made but failed because my shyness kept me from speaking.
I clung closer to the wall and looked down to hide the redness of my face, but my attention was drawn solely to the boy magician and the young men around him.
Upon a closer look, one of the men had an artificial right arm that was moving awkwardly.
Another young man wearing a military uniform was wiping away his tears, unable to hold back his emotions.
I couldn"t hear what they were talking about, but even I, who was only watching the exchange from afar, could perceive his joy.
I see, they"re people he saved.
The boy, who was looking up at the young men around him, gently rejoiced in their well-being alongside them. There was no wild enthusiasm nor a special brilliant power to be seen.
There was only a savior and the saved, and everyone was expressing their praise without trampling over the relationship between them.
He was unmistakably their Hero.
I realized that I hadn"t even understood the weight behind the word.
How could I have been so conceited enough to think that I had any right to stand beside him?
He was surrounded by the young men, and the whole group was surrounded in turn by others at a distance who never took their eyes off them as they observed. I was only but one of the others.
My father and I were buried in the crowd of people for a while until the words that I knew I had to say and the feelings that went with them budded within me.
I looked up. The redness hadn"t quite left my cheeks yet, but this unseemly appearance was what suited me most as I was right now.
"Let"s go, Father."
"Yes, we should."
I walked up to them as if I was leading my perplexed father there.
When Father and I walked up to them, the young men took notice of us and left the Hero"s side to vanish back into the crowd, perhaps because they recognized our rank.
I felt terrible about it, because I had been planning to wait until they were done talking instead of interrupting them.
……I was surprised by how I was feeling, because I knew that I was someone who had never tried to be considerate of others before.
Lady Seraphina"s sharp eyes looked into me as though she was searching for something as I walked up to them, but I did not have anything to hide as I was now.
"Good evening."
I lowered my head in response before Lord Bramdy and his partner, whose name I did not know, before I realized what I was doing.
"My deepest apologies for disturbing you the other day. I won"t do something like that again."
Apparently, Father had decided to take the chance to quell Lord Bramdy"s anger after seeing that I had honestly apologized.
"Lord Bramdy, my son has reflected on his actions, as you can see. Would you please find it in yourself to forgive him?"
I somehow felt like my sincere apology had become something of a lie because my father had asked Lord Bramdy for his forgiveness.
Lord Bramdy asked him how he wanted to respond. Then, as I remained unable to look up, he said,
"Please, raise your head. In truth, I, too, have a few things to apologize to you for, Lord Rider."
"Huh……?"
I looked up to see that there was an innocent smile on his face as he held up three fingers before my eyes.
"First. The fact that I did not tell you my name before. Second. That I did not correct you even though I knew that you had misunderstood. And third. That I didn"t answer you even though I knew you wanted to be my disciple. Would you please find it in yourself to forgive me for these things?"
"That"s……but of course."
I thought that the way he had acted back then had only been natural, since I had unlawfully trespa.s.sed onto the premises.
"Thank you. Now, it wouldn"t do if I didn"t forgive you in turn. Why don"t we both put this behind us?"
I was a bit put out by how indifferent he seemed about all this. No, rather, I was overwhelmed.
"My name is Halka Glark. Now then……shall I give you my answer as per my third point from earlier, Lord Rider?"
Lord Glark asked me without ever ceasing to smile. I already knew what his answer was going to be without having to hear it.
"No."
"Understood. I will keep my answer unsaid, as I have been. I pray that you will find your end goal soon."
My heart felt strangely lighter after speaking to Lord Glark for some reason, even though there had been a part of me that was at a complete loss until now.
I really, really liked him, so I regretted the fact that I had drastically lowered the possibility that I would be allowed to stand by his side.
"As expected of a renowned Hero. You are truly generous!"
Father said with exaggerated emotion. He sometimes played the part of a clown on purpose to bring himself closer to the other party, but it failed this time around.
A cold light filled Lord Bramdy"s, who had been peacefully watching over our exchange up until now, eyes as he watched my father"s reaction. I had no doubt that he had seen through how shallow my father was.
"Your Excellency Lord Agnester. My apologies for interrupting your chat, but may I borrow Lord Halka? I would very much like to introduce him to my friend."
"Is that so; I would like to speak with you again if I have the chance."
"Then I will see you again when the opportunity arises. Let"s go, Miss Seraphina."
Lord Glark boldly walked away into the midst of people"s curious gazes with Lady Seraphina and Lord Bramdy.
"Lord Bramdy really isn"t one to be underestimated. Just how much could morale be raised as long as Lord Glark alone enlists in the army, as opposed to those useless court magicians who ran away as soon as the war started? Anyone who wishes to get into contact with Lord Glark in the future will naturally have to get closer to Lord Bramdy first."
I heard the regret in my father"s voice, but I felt as though he had avoided the clever Lady Seraphina on purpose because he had tried to use calculative means to get closer to Lord Glark himself.
Him, that boy, that magician, that very person.
He paid no heed to the motives of those around him and simple smiled gently with the flames and flowers he carried on his back.
*
I finally found a place where no one"s eyes reached me when I escaped the crowd and relocated to the garden.
Ricardo was watching over my surroundings so that I could catch my breath. After a few deep breaths, I was at last able to work out the stiffness in my body that had risen from the dual effects of nervousness and keeping a posture that I wasn"t used to maintaining.
"Ahh, I"m tired."
Miss Seraphina smiled at the candid thought that left me as soon as I opened my mouth.
"You were very dignified, and your efforts were praiseworthy. You made sure to greet Lord Aegarbel as well, so I"m sure that no one would have thought that this was your first time at a party like this."
"You"re quite skilled at making me feel better, Miss Seraphina."
"I"m simply expressing what I truly believe. It"s easier to tell if someone has no experience in high society than you think."
Or so Miss Seraphina said, but the truth was that I was so nervous that I thought I would start trembling. The only thing that supported my heart was the fact that Miss Seraphina and Ricardo were right beside me.
They had come to my rescue with speed and precision whenever I had been about to make a mistake. The relief they brought me just barely made it possible for me to keep up airs.
"It"s all thanks to you, Miss Seraphina. Having you by my side tonight put my heart at considerable ease. Thank you."
"It is not something you need to thank me for."
Or so Miss Seraphina had said humbly with a smile, but I felt like I couldn"t have thanked her enough.
The cold night breeze felt good against the heat of my body, flushed from excitement and nervousness. I wanted to stay here and rest forever, but I was sure that I couldn"t.
"I"ll have to go back after a little bit. ……And I can"t exactly "pretend everyone"s a potato," either."
I had been speaking to myself, but Miss Seraphina tilted her head to the side at my words, which had evidently sounded strange to her.
"A potat……what is that?"
"It"s a vegetable. The saying is a silly charm that, curiously enough, lets me see the people around me as that vegetable and make me less nervous about being around them if I keep repeating the phrase silently to myself."
Miss Seraphina, who had understood what I was getting at, placed a hand at her mouth and giggled.
"My, my! So, Mr. Halka, you saw everyone as a vegetable, including His Excellency Lord Agnester and Lord Aegarbel!"
Miss Seraphina, whose eyes were twinkling as though she had found something extraordinarily fun and exciting, looked like any normal girl you could find in town —a far cry from the dignified appearance she had shown in the party hall.
I got carried away by the moment and put my pointer finger to my lips in a show of airs.
"This is one of my greatest secret spells. You must never speak of it to anyone."
"But of course. I"ll never speak of this to anyone! I swear it."
Miss Seraphina interacted with me without putting up a wall between us because of our respective social status, so I was happy to have made a friend who was younger than me. It felt amazing to draw our faces closer and laugh together over something trivial.
"So this is where you were. I was looking for you, you know."
I turned around upon hearing the voice of a man I wasn"t familiar with to find that the star of tonight"s party, the third son of Duke Aegarbel, was talking to Ricardo.
"Are you sure it"s all right for you to be loafing around here, Graham?"
Ricardo was less reserved than he normally was as he spoke to Lord Aegarbel. He had only told me that Lord Aegarbel was someone he frequently exchanged words with, but by the way they were talking it looked more like they were friends.
I was surprised by the hint of gruffness there was in the way Ricardo corresponded to Lord Aegarbel despite their respective social standings.
"They"re quite close."
"Yes. I am told that they first met when they first embarked on the path to becoming a knight, and that they have been as close as brothers since."
Lord Aegarbel was a young man whose skin had been tanned by the sun with eyes that had a tint of green to them. He reminded me of leopard, or perhaps of supple steel. That was the impression that his trained figure left on me.
"Why don"t we listen in on stories of Mr. Ricardo"s past? He"s a good-natured man, so I"m sure he"ll be more than delighted to entertain us."
"That"s a great idea. I"m always around him like it"s natural that I should know him well, but the truth is that I hardly know him at all."
"If you wish to get to know him better, you can always start now."
"……Yes, you"re right."
The lively chatting from the party hall was carried over the wind and reached my ears. The garden, unlike the hall, felt rather dim despite that fact that it wasn"t all that far away.
"How curious. It"s so dazzling over there, and yet…"
"Well, the hall is a stage."
The metaphor Miss Seraphina spoke of was quite the accurate one. She continued,
"It is a stage where everyone is to play their own part. But, beneath it all is something that is connected to the rest of the entire kingdom. If you are not able to see what cannot be seen, then you may find yourself acting in a comedy or a tragedy before you even realize what is going on. Conversely, you may be able to make everyone dance in the palm of your hand if you are."
She readily spoke the truth, and only the truth, with deep emotion in her voice.
"What about you, Miss Seraphina —are you the player or the played?"
"I aspire to become an exceptional actress who can even change the script of her own accord."
I felt like she had already achieved her goal. Still, I was just a novice who was only recently allowed to stand on the stage. I was sure that there was a vast world out there that I couldn"t see with my amateurish eyes.
Lord Aegarbel approached us as I quietly ruminated on Miss Seraphina"s words, perhaps because he had been waiting for our conversation to die down.
"Have you been enjoying the party this evening?"
"Yes. Of course."
"I"m glad to hear it. We did not have the time to talk at leisure when we meet earlier in the hall."
"Having you been looking for me?"
"I simply felt that I could use a break as well. I made my way over here because I saw Ricardo, and then I saw the two of you as well —my apologies for interrupting your rest."
I thought that he was quite an amicable person, judging by the cheerful way he laughed.
"Again, you have my grat.i.tude for inviting me here tonight."
"Likewise, it was my honor to be able to invite someone to whom Ricardo is greatly indebted to. I"m glad we finally met."
Ricardo listened in on our conversation from the side without denying nor confirming Lord Aegarbel"s words.
The only reason I had been able to come here tonight was because he was friends with Ricardo.
Lord Aegarbel was unable to move out from the capital because he held the honorable position of being in the royal guard, but it looked like he had worried over Ricardo ever since the latter had gone off to war.
"It"s been a while, Lady Seraphina."
"I am enjoying my time here."
Lord Aegarbel looked at her face and, as if he had just recalled something, said,
"Oh, yes. There"s been something I"ve been meaning to tell you. My father is currently in possession of a stuffed golden peac.o.c.k, which you once said you"d be interested in seeing. Would you like to take a look?"
A golden peac.o.c.k was a rare bird that lived in another kingdom far away that couldn"t be found in this region, and it was said to have beautiful golden tail feathers. Miss Seraphina"s eyes sparkled, presumably because she was interested in it.
"My, truly? Please do let me see."
"I a.s.sure you it"s worth the look."
Lord Aegarbel looked delighted by her excited reaction, but then his countenance clouded over as though he had remembered something.
"Oh, ……how troubling. It"s displayed on a wall of a room that"s quite far inside the building. I can"t leave the party, so……Ricardo, could I trouble you? You"ve seen it before, right?"
Ricardo stared deeply into Lord Aegarbel"s face for a moment before he agreed to be Miss Seraphina"s guide.
"Yeah, ……I don"t mind."
"Thanks."
"Please, follow me."
Miss Seraphina followed after Ricardo with light steps and in a great mood.
Then, Lord Aegarbel grabbed me by the arm and stopped me before I could naturally go with them.
"Stay here, Lord Glark. Please accompany me for a bit longer."
His mouth was turned up in a smile. However, there was something so cold in his eyes that he could have frozen me where I stood.
*
It all started one day a few days back. My friend had reached out to me for the first time in a very long while. I decided to meet up with him, Ricardo, in between work in a little room in a corner of the castle.
I couldn"t help but get worried when I saw him looking a little skinnier than usual.
"What"s wrong? Have you caught a cold or something?"
"I"m fine. I"m not ill."
Ricardo, who had curtly refused my words, looked restless, like he was a little lost for words, before he abruptly said,
"More importantly, Graham. I have a favor to ask."
A favor. I had never heard the word leave his mouth in such a serious tone before.
Ricardo had always dealt with things on his own before asking me or anyone else who was close to him for a favor. I had decided long ago that I would do anything I could for him if he needed me.
I turned back to him with a more serious att.i.tude, and he let out a deep sigh as though he had felt the change.
"There"s someone I"d like you to meet. To be more precise, I"d like you to prepare a place for you to meet him."
The mysterious person who had caused him to act strangely as of late came into my mind.
My imagination ran wild, and I thought that Ricardo had seriously decided to spend the rest of his life with this person at his side.
He was restoring his relationship with his father, with whom he had been estranged with, to earn his father"s support on his decision. Which meant that he had been gaining more achievements to his name so that he could make his father, who despised him, acknowledge him.
I had no doubt that he had worked so hard that he might as well have been whittling away at his own body. This was probably why he looked so emaciated.
I, who had jumped to a hasty conclusion, could not help but wonder who this mysterious person was that they had made him push himself this far. Deeply curious, I posed him a question while almost leaning into him.
"Who is he?"
"It"s difficult to explain who he is in just a few words."
But if I had to say, he continued, and I was made to realize that my conclusions had ran in the completely wrong direction.
"He"s my master."
Surprise and unease budded within my heart and multiplied. Ricardo had called him his "master".
The person who governed over you. Someone precious to knights like us who was closest to us, and yet for this very reason also the furthest away from us.
If our master said something was black, then even something white would be dyed black in our eyes. That is what a master was to a knight.
It wasn"t a problem if the master was worthy of the t.i.tle, but if he wasn"t, then the knight serving under him would get dragged into ruin along with him should he fall.
So, which kind of master was the one whom Ricardo had chosen? I doubted that my lifelong friend would have chosen a master just for his looks.
I had believed without a doubt that no one could have possibly stood atop of someone as proud and n.o.ble as Ricardo.
As I sat there wanting to clutch at my head because of his shocking words, Ricardo, who seemed to have finished picking out his next ones, quietly told me an even more astonishing truth.
"My master said that he would rise as a hero. In that case, I have to make it happen."
"A hero!?"
Idiot, you G.o.dd.a.m.ned fool. Why the h.e.l.l would you chose someone like that, of all people?!
I stood up with enough force to knock my chair over before I could stop myself. I only just managed to swallow down the words that had been on the brink of leaving my mouth as a shout of rebuke.
Right now, there was only one person I could think of who could be called a hero. The Hero of Hedalion.
There wasn"t a day that I didn"t hear rumors of him in the army. He was the most talked-about person in the entire kingdom.
Just how much would Ricardo suffer if he were to stand beside the Hero? He would have no choice but to deal with the mult.i.tudes of people who crowded around the Hero in hopes of using him for their own motives. There would probably be people who intended to trip him up out of jealousy. And, he would always be shadowed by the danger of being a.s.sa.s.sinated. The fighting was finally over, and we were finally moving toward a time of peace, but Ricardo"s life would always be at risk going forward. Couldn"t he see the obvious disadvantages to this?
I desperately worked my head to think of a way to dissuade him and get him to reconsider.
"Why, just why, would you choose him?"
Ricardo replied in composure with a troubled look on his face when I hounded after him.
"There was no other choice."
Apparently, he believed that it was his destiny. There was no hesitation in his voice whatsoever.
At first, I thought that he had been deceived by someone who was only claiming to be a hero, but then I realized that Ricardo would have seen right through such lies.
"Did he save you or something? Was it because you felt indebted to him?"
"It"s true that he saved me. But you and I both know that a knight"s fealty isn"t something so frivolous that we would swear our loyalty to someone just because they did us a favor."
I thought up of several different ways that I could have asked for his true intentions, but I understood the answer before I could pose a question.
I had known him for long enough to know that there was nothing I could say to make him change his mind, so there was nothing else I could do but sit back down in my chair, utterly powerless.
"I want a place. Use the Aegarbel name and prepare me a magnificent venue."
I had always intended to lend him my a.s.sistance no matter what he asked of me. That hadn"t changed even now.
Still, I"d never thought that I"d ever be so unwilling to help.
I respected and cared for this friend of mine so much that I could not help it.
He was my one and only treasure, much like the sword that I had received personally from His Majesty that I was so proud of. What kind of person was this thief who had stolen away my treasure? Then, in a voice that sounded close to a groan, I asked,
"What"s his name?"
"His name is Lord Halka Glark."
"Was Sir Glark strong?"
"Yeah, so much so that he stole my heart away."
"So he"s a man of character?"
There was a vivid light in Ricardo"s eyes as he spoke of his master, and a small smile alighted his face.
"Without a doubt."
Ricardo had declared this so readily that I began to envy this Hero for having Ricardo speak so highly of him.
Still, did people usually have such a look of ecstasy on their face just because they cherished and respected someone?
He looked like the follower of some cult, or……like a man who was burning brightly in love.
I trembled a little at my terrifying hypothesis.
What would Ricardo do if, just maybe if, the latter was true?
I could not imagine that there would be a day when he would confess the feelings in his heart clearly to his master, who was of the same gender as he. In which case, he would live with the pain in his heart forever.
I thought of how cloudy and dark his future was, but decided to stop thinking about what would come next.
After all, my conjecture wasn"t set in stone.
"I"ll prepare one for you. Just as you wanted. It"ll be perfect without a single fault to be found."
I wanted for Sir Glark to be complete and perfect regardless of whether Ricardo was in love with him or not.
I could not keep down the effeminately jealous part of me that dared Sir Glark to be nothing short of perfect, since he had managed to win Ricardo"s heart.
My feelings did not change even after I had parted ways with Ricardo, who had loosened up considerably once I had given him my word.
……And that was why I could not forgive even the slightest of quivering I saw at his fingertips that I noticed when I introduced myself to Sir Glark, who wasn"t used to stepping out amongst so many members of high society and had done so for the first time today.
*
I felt a coldness that overpowered the silence and pierced straight through my clothes and against my skin once Ricardo and Miss Seraphina had left.
"Ricardo has changed considerably after he met you, Sir Glark. It was a change in him that I welcomed, and I was grateful to you even before we met for having changed him."
The fact that he had spoken in the past tense gave me a bad premonition. I was sure that his next words would be nothing good.
The words that fell onto me a beat later were as cold and hard as crystal.
"Until I met you like this, that is."
The eyes that were looking down at me made my heart beat noisily. His were the eyes of someone who was evaluating me with cold consideration.
"You"re like a small animal that"s about to be devoured."
Lord Aegarbel thrust his words at me with a complete change in att.i.tude as he took off his kindhearted mask.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that it is impossible for you to survive in this world, Sir Glark. Perhaps it"s because I haven"t seen you work your magic with my own eyes, but you should not have come here if you couldn"t do anything for yourself without clinging onto Lady Seraphina."
I was ripped apart by the sharp blades of his words. I was unable to remain firm when confronted with such frank words, and I felt as though someone had suddenly poured a bucket of cold water on me.
Without even giving me a chance to respond, Lord Aegarbel continued while beating down on me with his eyes br.i.m.m.i.n.g with rejection.
"If you truly believed that your abilities were so amazing that none could even come as a close second to yours, then you should have simply barged into the royal palace. And yet, the fact that you didn"t, and the fact that you chose instead to show up here in such a half-hearted manner, only goes to show that you do not believe in your abilities. It"s probably true that the kingdom needs someone like you. I even think highly of you as a citizen of our kingdom for trying to use personnel connections to make up for your lack of power."
However, he continued,
"I cannot forgive you for using Ricardo to do it."
Everything Lord Aegarbel was saying was a sound argument. However, I could not see a better alternative than the choice I had already chosen.
From the eyes of someone who knew absolutely nothing about the relationship between Ricardo and I, it would probably seem like Ricardo was using me for his own motives. Ricardo would have to end up taking responsibility for everything about me that became public. Just how much would that consume and exhaust him?
"Why did you invite me here tonight, if you already knew that much?"
"I will not refuse a request if it comes from Ricardo. But, that doesn"t mean that I acknowledge the person who made him ask."
I couldn"t help myself but laugh now that I"d been criticized to such extent. Had I really been that much of a clown tonight in the eyes of someone who could properly judge these things? With a dry laugh, I asked,
"Was I really that bad?"
"Your performance was probably within a tolerable range for a normal civilian who stepped out into high society for the first time. ……Had the person standing beside you not been Ricardo, that is."
His last few words made me understand why Lord Aegarbel had wanted to speak to me directly and alone.
He acknowledged my means, my methods, and even my goals. But he was angry that I had used Ricardo to achieve them.
"I detest you, Sir Glark."
The atmosphere around us was so chilling that it felt like dew would precipitate around us in the middle of the night.
There was nothing else I could do but accept the unbearable feelings that had been stowed away in Lord Aegarbel"s heart. After all, I was already standing at a place from which I could no longer go back.
I was being beaten down and overwhelmed by unconcealable feelings that had been put to words.
I was surprised, though belatedly, that Ricardo had a friend who worried over him so earnestly.
"Why did you show yourself in front of everyone? Ricardo will probably willingly undergo any amount of hardship if it"s for you. Wouldn"t it have been better if you simply remained hidden and protected and allowed yourself to be satisfied by his earnest love for you?"
Lord Aegarbel continued his th.o.r.n.y words while standing in the same place he had been standing, without any hint of moving closer to or farther away from me.
It looked to me as if he was trying to somehow suppress his rampant anger toward me into mere words.
I see, so this is what Ricardo"s friend thinks.
He thinks that I should"ve stayed hidden away in Ricardo"s manor forever.
Or, perhaps he thought that I should"ve shut my eyes, blocked my ears, and returned to my village while pretending that I hadn"t noticed anything going on around me.
Perhaps I had made some sort of huge misunderstanding and was trying to proceed down the completely wrong path.
I had pondered and worried, and I had set forth on this path unconfident because I had yet to find an answer.
But I didn"t regret the steps I had taken.
I carefully selected the next words I was to say to Lord Aegarbel and, for the first time since I had taken on this appearance, uttered the sincerest feelings that had taken root in my heart.
It could be said that it was the foundation of everything I had done up until now.
"I am always, always wondering. About why I am here. About what purpose there is to my life. To do so is my inescapable duty, and it is also the reason why I cannot change my way of life."
You could also say that I was obsessed with this. I always, endlessly, ended up thinking about this whenever I couldn"t sleep at night, or whenever I was alone in a room.
There had to be a reason. Somewhere in this world, there had to be a reason why I had been destined to be summoned here.
"I did think that, if there was happiness to be found in leading a quiet life, it could be my answer. ……But, I"ve since become unable to believe that it is right to run away if there existed a role which only I could play."
The young man before me was in so much grief that he looked tired. He was clever, so I was sure that he could see much, much further out in the distance than me.
That is what it meant to get someone else involved. You ended up hurting not only them, but also the hearts of those who cared for them.
"If I"ve decided on a path, I move toward it. I cannot stop no matter who I must end up dragging along with me at the end of my road."
I had no intention of letting Ricardo go. He was someone who would be necessary for me from here on out, because he himself had wished to be.
I subconsciously turned my eyes away from the other tiny feeling that had budded in my heart.
"Still……please remain as Ricardo"s friend until the very end, Lord Aegarbel."
"I don"t need you to tell me that."
Lord Aegarbel crossed his arms and turned away like he was pouting.
Lord Aegarbel disliked me, but I could not find it in myself to dislike him back when he worried for Ricardo in such a straightforward manner.
After a moment of silence, Lord Aegarbel sighed deeply as though he had found a point of compromise in his feelings and said,
"Prepare yourself for the next time we meet. I need to explain to you about how magnificent Ricardo is. You"d do well to do your best to become a master befitting of him once you know."
"Yes, certainly. Please do."
Lord Aegarbel turned back toward me with narrowed eyes, perhaps because he had found my att.i.tude brazen.
"Sorry, but let me punch you once."
"Stop. I"d floor you before you even tried."
I turned to the direction where the voice had come from to find that Ricardo and Miss Seraphina had returned.
Ricardo had apparently only heard the last thing that Lord Aegarbel had said and was glaring at him in a foul mood.
"I was joking. We got along well and got pretty close."
"That"s wonderful. And, the stuffed peac.o.c.k was truly worth the look. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to see it,"
said Miss Seraphina, who hadn"t a clue about what was going on, in good humor, and the disquieting looking on Ricardo"s face mellowed somewhat.
"I"m glad you enjoyed it. ……I"ll have to head back to the party hall soon. Please, continue to enjoy your stay here."
Lord Aegarbel, being mindful of the time, turned around to leave.
Just as we parted, he left behind the words,
"Feel free to call me Graham, Sir Glark."
He disappeared back into the crowd before I could say anything in return.
"It looks like Graham has taken a liking to you."
I was pretty sure that he had allowed me to call him by his first name not because he acknowledged me, but rather for Ricardo"s sake.
I smiled wryly at Ricardo for saying this, since he hadn"t the faintest idea of what Graham and I had discussed just moments earlier.