Zhishu He was a gentle person, not good at refusing others. So he stayed although he felt uncomfortable.
The doctor made some soup and two light stir-fries as supper. Zhishu He had a poor appet.i.te, but he was still trying to finish the half bowl of rice for feeling embarra.s.sed to make leftovers. Ziyu Ai was so considerate that he took it away from Zhishu He, spooned out half a bowl of light crucian soup for him, and said, “Have a piece of fish and a little soup. You need to take the medicine later.”
The doctor did it naturally, but Zhishu He was dumbfounded at that moment. He had mixed feelings, unable to keep his mind clear. But Ziyu Ai seemed not to regard his behavior as an intimate one. He even poured the remaining rice directly into his own bowl, added some scrambled eggs with tomatoes and quickly finished all the food.
Seeing this, Zhishu He did not know what to say. Ziyu Ai, however, seemed not to care, and after the meal, he hummed a melody and went to fetch dog food for the dog which had been hanging around the table and waiting for nearly half an hour.
Zhishu He was absent-minded with eyes dropping while he was clearing away dishes and leftovers, thinking that he should not gauge the heart of a gentleman with his own mean measure. Even He himself did not believe that the doctor would like such a poor and colorless invalid as him. But why had the doctor been so nice to him? There should be a reason for this. He had suffered enough for Wenxu Jiang, who got both his body and soul. The more happiness he experienced at the beginning, the more pain he would suffer in the end. He was aware of the fact that it was his own fault because he chose to be with Jiang.
Zhishu He stopped thinking about anything since he could not get the result. When Ziyu Ai came back after feeding the dog, Zhishu He had already finished washing the dishes and was rinsing the dishcloth to wipe the marble counter.
“I invite you to be my home as my guest. You do the housework here, and I will be sorry for that,” Ziyu Ai hurried to get his hands out of the cold water and said, “How cold the water is!”
Ziyu Ai toweled the hands of Zhishu He so meticulously that he almost wiped every finger. The pair of hands were fair and thin, with blue blood vessels clearly seen. They were not pretty hands. But Ziyu Ai suddenly recalled that Zhishu He held the fox-furred collar of the down jacket with this pair of hands the other day, so gentle and so lonely at that moment; he felt a fire of desire burning in his body, but he could not control it. Ziyu Ai had always been abstinent and self-controlled, not expecting that one day he would be in the psychos.e.xuality so much only by holding one’s hands.
His mind wandered a little longer. When Zhishu He withdrew his hand back, Ziyu Ai suddenly came back to himself, feeling a little embarra.s.sed.
“Take a shower and you’d better go to bed early. You have a fever during the day and your body is still weak,” Ziyu Ai tossed the dishcloth aside. “Leave the housework to me.”
Zhishu He was pushed into the bathroom, stuffed with a soft smoky bathrobe and a large towel in his hand. Pressing a smile out, he said thanks to Ziyu Ai.
There were two bathrooms in the apartment. Zhishu He finished the shower before Ziyu Ai did. He took the new medicine, whose effect was too strong for him to resist. The more he thought, the more blurred he would feel. It was pretty tough. He lay p.r.o.ne on the bed and fell asleep lightly.
Ziyu Ai took several cold showers in the bathroom before he dared come out. He played outside when he was rebellious and young years ago. As not only a big spender but a handsome man, he had met so many pretty girls and handsome boys chasing after him that he suffered from aesthetic fatigue now, not expecting to lose his heart to Zhishu He so easily.
When the doctor came out of the bathroom, Zhishu He had been asleep, with most of his face buried in the pillow towel embroidered with the patterns of baby blue flowers. Ziyu Ai’s bathrobe was too big for Zhishu He, who was not aware that his shoulder and back were exposed. He had fair skin, but obvious bones because he was too thin.
At the thought of Zhishu He being possessed by the other man, and his meek and slender neck being marked by the other man, Ziyu Ai was in an irrepressible rage.
Ziyu Ai turned off the light and lay down beside Zhishu He. It was a great mistake for a doctor to fall in love with his patient, but he did not care. He was more worried about the health of Zhishu He. He knew better than anyone else that Zhishu He would not last to this season next year if the right bone marrow could not be found.
Zhishu He began to feel uncomfortable in the wee hours; in a daze, he felt like being wrapped up by someone as if he was snuggling up to a big stove. He felt so hot that even his temples were damp, but he could not shake himself off the embrace. Half-awake, he pushed and touched a man’s chest.
“Wenxu Jiang... Don"t hold me so tight…”
The doctor, who was planning to pretend to be sleeping and innocent when Zhishu He sensed his existence, finally opened his eyes… It was the second time for him to hear the name from Zhishu He’s mouth. He felt uncomfortable. Especially now, Zhishu He was lying in his arms and on his bed, but the right to hug him was borrowed from another man.