The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love

Chapter 9

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295. The subject of betrothings and nuptials, and also of the rites and ceremonies attending them, is here treated of princ.i.p.ally from the reason of the understanding; for the object of this book is that the reader may see truths rationally, and thereby give his consent, for thus his spirit is convinced; and those things in which the spirit is convinced, obtain a place above those which, without consulting reason, enter from authority and the faith of authority; for the latter enter the head no further than into the memory, and there mix themselves with fallacies and falses; thus they are beneath the rational things of the understanding. From these any one may seem to converse rationally, but he will converse preposterously; for in such case he thinks as a crab walks, the sight following the tail: it is otherwise if he thinks from the understanding; for then the rational sight selects from the memory whatever is suitable, whereby it confirms truth viewed in itself. This is the reason why in this chapter several particulars are adduced which are established customs, as that the right of choice belongs to the men, that parents ought to be consulted, that pledges are to be given, that the conjugial covenant is to be settled previous to the nuptials, that it ought to be performed by a priest, also that the nuptials ought to be celebrated; besides several other particulars, which are here mentioned in order that every one may rationally see that such things are a.s.signed to conjugial love, as requisite to promote and complete it. The articles into which this section is divided are the following; I. _The right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman._ II. _The man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man._ III. _The woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself, before she consents._ IV. _After a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given._ V. _Consent is to be secure and established by solemn betrothing._ VI. _By betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial love._ VII. _By betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a marriage of the body._ VIII. _This is the case with those who think chastely of marriages: but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them._ IX. _Within the time of betrothing, it is not allowable to be connected corporeally._ X. _When the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place._ XI. _Previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses._ XII. _The marriage is to be consecrated by a priest._ XIII. _The nuptials are to be celebrated with festivity._ XIV.

_After the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage._ XV. _Such is the order of conjugial love with its modes from its first heat to its first torch._ XVI. _Conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows and is consumed._ XVII. _The states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural._ XVIII. _There are successive and simultaneous orders, and the latter is from the former and according to it._ We proceed to an explanation of each article.

296. I. THE RIGHT OF CHOICE BELONGS TO THE MAN, AND NOT TO THE WOMAN.

This is because the man is born to be understanding, but the woman to be love; also because with the men there generally prevails a love of the s.e.x, but with the women a love of one of the s.e.x; and likewise because it is not unbecoming for men to speak openly about love, as it is for women; nevertheless women have the right of selecting one of their suitors. In regard to the first reason, that the right of choice belongs to the men, because they are born to understanding, it is grounded in the consideration that the understanding can examine agreements and disagreements, and distinguish them, and from judgement choose that which is suitable: it is otherwise with the women, because they are born to love, and therefore have no such discrimination; and consequently their determinations to marriage would proceed only from the inclinations of their love; if they have the skill of distinguishing between men and men, still their love is influenced by appearances. In regard to the other reason, that the right of choice belongs to the men, and not to the women, because with men there generally prevails a love of the s.e.x, and with women a love of one of the s.e.x, it is grounded in the consideration, that those in whom a love of the s.e.x prevails, can freely look around and also determine: it is otherwise with women, in whom is implanted a love for one of the s.e.x. If you wish for a proof of this, ask, if you please, the men you meet, what their sentiments are respecting monogamical and polygamical unions; and you will seldom meet one who will not reply in favor of the polygamical; and this also is a love of the s.e.x: but ask the women their sentiments on the subject, and almost all, except the vilest of the s.e.x, will reject polygamical unions; from which consideration it follows, that with the women there prevails a love of one of the s.e.x, thus conjugial love. In regard to the third reason, that it is not unbecoming for men to speak openly about love, whereas it is for women, it is self-evident; hence also it follows, that declaration belongs to the men, and therefore so does choice. That women have the right of selecting in regard to their suitors, is well known; but this species of selection is confined and limited, whereas that of the men is extended and unlimited.

297. II. THE MAN OUGHT TO COURT AND INTREAT THE WOMAN RESPECTING MARRIAGE WITH HIM, AND NOT THE WOMAN THE MAN. This naturally follows the right of choice; and besides, to court and intreat women respecting marriage is in itself honorable and becoming for men, but not for women.

If women were to court and entreat the men, they would not only be blamed, but, after intreaty, they would be reputed as vile, or after marriage as libidinous, with whom there would be no a.s.sociation but what was cold and fastidious; wherefore marriages would thereby be converted into tragic scenes. Wives also take it as a compliment to have it said of them, that being conquered as it were, they yielded to the pressing intreaties of the men. Who does not foresee, that if the women courted the men, they would seldom be accepted? They would either be indignantly rejected, or be enticed to lasciviousness, and also would dishonor their modesty. Moreover, as was shewn above, the men have not any innate love of the s.e.x; and without love there is no interior pleasantness of life: wherefore to exalt their life by that love, it is inc.u.mbent on the men to compliment the women; courting and intreating them with civility, courtesy, and humility, respecting this sweet addition to their life.

The superior comeliness of the female countenance, person, and manners, above that of the men, adds itself as a proper object of desire.

298. III. THE WOMAN OUGHT TO CONSULT HER PARENTS, OR THOSE WHO ARE IN THE PLACE OF PARENTS, AND THEN DELIBERATE WITH HERSELF, BEFORE SHE CONSENTS. The reason why parents are to be consulted is, because they deliberate from judgement, knowledge, and love; from _judgement_, because they are in an advanced age, which excels in judgement, and discerns what is suitable and unsuitable: from _knowledge_, in respect to both the suitor and their daughter; in respect to the suitor they procure information, and in respect to their daughter they already know; wherefore they conclude respecting both with united discernment: from _love_, because to consult the good of their daughter, and to provide for her establishment, is also to consult and provide for their own and for themselves.

299. The case would be altogether different, if the daughter consents of herself to her urgent suitor, without consulting her parents, or those who are in their place; for she cannot from judgement, knowledge, and love, make a right estimate of the matter which so deeply concerns her future welfare: she cannot from _judgement_, because she is as yet in ignorance as to conjugial life, and not in a state of comparing reasons, and discovering the morals of men from their particular tempers; nor from _knowledge_, because she knows few things beyond the domestic concerns of her parents and of some of her companions; and is unqualified to examine into such things as relate to the family and property of her suitor: nor from _love_, because with daughters in their first marriageable age, and also afterwards, this is led by the concupiscences originating in the senses, and not as yet by the desires originating in a refined mind. The daughter ought nevertheless to deliberate on the matter with herself, before she consents, lest she should be led against her will to form a connection with a man whom she does not love; for by so doing, consent on her part would be wanting; and yet it is consent that const.i.tutes marriage, and initiates the spirit into conjugial love; and consent against the will, or extorted, does not initiate the spirit, although it may the body; and thus it converts chast.i.ty, which resides in the spirit, into l.u.s.t; whereby conjugial love in its first warmth is vitiated.

300. IV. AFTER A DECLARATION OF CONSENT, PLEDGES ARE TO BE GIVEN. By pledges we mean presents, which, after consent, are confirmations, testifications, first favors, and gladnesses. Those presents are _confirmations_, because they are certificates of consent on each side; wherefore, when two parties consent to anything, it is customary to say, "Give me a token;" and of two, who have entered into a marriage engagement, and have secured it by presents, that they are pledged, thus confirmed. They are _testifications_, because those pledges are continual visible witnesses of mutual love; hence also they are memorials thereof; especially if they be rings, perfume-bottles or boxes, and ribbons, which are worn in sight. In such things there is a sort of representative image of the minds (_animorum_) of the bridegroom and the bride. Those pledges are _first favors_, because conjugial love engages for itself everlasting favor; whereof those gifts are the first fruits. That they are the _gladnesses_ of love, is well known, for the mind is exhilarated at the sight of them; and because love is in them, those favors are dearer and more precious than any other gifts, it being as if their hearts were in them. As those pledges are securities of conjugial love, therefore presents after consent were in use with the ancients; and after accepting such presents the parties were declared to be bridegroom and bride. But it is to be observed that it is at the pleasure of the parties to bestow those presents either before or after the act of betrothing; if before, they are confirmations and testifications of consent to betrothing; if after it, they are also confirmations and testifications of consent to the nuptial tie.

301. V. CONSENT IS TO BE SECURED AND ESTABLISHED BY SOLEMN BETROTHING.

The reasons for betrothings are these: 1. That after betrothing the souls of the two parties may mutually incline towards each other. 2.

That the universal love for the s.e.x may be determined to one of the s.e.x.

3. That the interior affections may be mutually known, and by applications in the internal cheerfulness of love, may be conjoined. 4.

That the spirits of both parties may enter into marriage, and be more and more consociated. 5. That thereby conjugial love may advance regularly from its first warmth even to the nuptial flame. Consequently: 6. That conjugial love may advance and grow up in just order from its spiritual origin. The state of betrothing may be compared to the state of spring before summer; and the internal pleasantness of that state to the flowering of trees before fructification. As the beginning and progressions of conjugial love proceed in order for the sake of their influx into the effective love, which commences at the nuptials, therefore, there are also betrothings in the heavens.

302. VI. BY BETROTHING EACH PARTY IS PREPARED FOR CONJUGIAL LOVE. That the mind or spirit of one of the parties is by betrothing prepared for union with the mind or spirit of the other, or what is the same, that the love of the one is prepared for union with the love of the other, appears from the arguments just adduced. Besides which it is to be noted, that on love truly conjugial is inscribed this order, that it ascends and descends; it ascends from its first heat progressively upwards towards the souls of the parties, with an endeavour to effect their conjunction, and this by continual interior openings of their minds; and there is no love which strives more intensely to effect such openings, or which is more powerful and expert in opening the interiors of minds, than conjugial love; for the soul of each of the parties intends this: but at the same moments in which that love ascends towards the soul, it descends also towards the body, and thereby clothes itself.

It is however to be observed, that conjugial love is such in its descent as it is in the height to which it ascends: if it ascends high, it descends chaste; but if not, it descends unchaste: the reason of this is, because the lower principles of the mind are unchaste, but its higher are chaste; for the lower principles of the mind adhere to the body, but the higher separate themselves from them: but on this subject see further particulars below, n. 305. From these few considerations it may appear, that, by betrothing, the mind of each of the parties is prepared for conjugial love, although in a different manner according to the affections.

303. VII. BY BETROTHING THE MIND OF ONE IS UNITED TO THE MIND OF THE OTHER, SO AS TO EFFECT A MARRIAGE OF THE SPIRIT, PREVIOUS TO A MARRIAGE OF THE BODY. As this follows of consequence from what was said above, n.

301, 302, we shall pa.s.s it by, without adducing any further confirmations from reason.

304. VIII. THIS IS THE CASE WITH THOSE WHO THINK CHASTELY OF MARRIAGES; BUT IT IS OTHERWISE WITH THOSE WHO THINK UNCHASTELY OF THEM. With the chaste, that is, with those who think religiously of marriages, the marriage of the spirit precedes, and that of the body is subsequent; and these are those with whom love ascends towards the soul, and from its height thence descends; concerning whom see above, n. 302. The souls of such separate themselves from the unlimited love for the s.e.x, and devote themselves to one, with whom they look for an everlasting and eternal union and its increasing blessednesses, as the cherishers of the hope which continually recreates their mind; but it is quite otherwise with the unchaste, that is, with those who do not think religiously of marriages and their holiness. With these there is a marriage of the body, but not of the spirit: if, during the state of betrothment, there be any appearance of a marriage of the spirit, still, if it ascends by an elevation of the thoughts concerning it, it nevertheless falls back again to the concupiscences which arise from the flesh in the will; and thus from the unchaste principles therein it precipitates itself into the body, and defiles the ultimates of its love with an alluring ardor; and as, in consequence of this ardor, it was in the beginning all on fire, so its fire suddenly goes out, and pa.s.ses off into the cold of winter; whence the failing (of power) is accelerated. The state of betrothing with such scarcely answers any other purpose, than that they may fill their concupiscences with lasciviousness, and thereby contaminate the conjugial principle of love.

305. IX. WITHIN THE TIME OF BETROTHING IT IS NOT ALLOWABLE TO BE CONNECTED CORPOREALLY. For thus the order which is inscribed on conjugial love, perishes. For in human minds there are three regions, of which the highest is called the celestial, the middle the spiritual, and the lowest the natural. In this lowest man is born; but he ascends into the next above it, the spiritual, by a life according to the truths of religion, and into the highest by the marriage of love and wisdom. In the lowest or natural region, reside all the concupiscences of evil and lasciviousness; but in the superior or spiritual region, there are no concupiscences of evil and lasciviousness; for man is introduced into this region by the Lord, when he is re-born; but in the supreme or celestial region, there is conjugial chast.i.ty in its love: into this region a man is elevated by the love of uses; and as the most excellent uses are from marriages, he is elevated into it by love truly conjugial.

From these few considerations, it may be seen that conjugial love, from the first beginnings of its warmth, is to be elevated out of the lowest region into a superior region, that it may become chaste, and that thereby from a chaste principle it may be let down through the middle and lowest regions into the body; and when this is the case, this lowest region is purified from all that is unchaste by this descending chaste principle: hence the ultimate of that love becomes also chaste. Now if the successive order of this love is precipitated by connections of the body before their time, it follows, that the man acts from the lowest region, which is by birth unchaste; and it is well known, that hence commences and arises cold in regard to marriage, and disdainful neglect in regard to a married partner. Nevertheless events of various kinds take place in consequence of hasty connections; also in consequence of too long a delay, and too quick a hastening, of the time of betrothing; but these, from their number and variety, can hardly be adduced.

306. X. WHEN THE TIME OF BETROTHING IS COMPLETED, THE NUPTIALS OUGHT TO TAKE PLACE. There are some customary rites which are merely formal, and others which at the same time are also essential: among the latter are nuptials; and that they are to be reckoned among essentials, which are to be manifested in the customary way, and to be formally celebrated, is confirmed by the following reasons: 1. That nuptials const.i.tute the end of the foregoing state, into which the parties were introduced by betrothing, which princ.i.p.ally was a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state, into which they are to be introduced by marriage, which is a state of the spirit and body together; for the spirit then enters into the body, and there becomes active: wherefore on that day the parties put off the state and also the name of bridegroom and bride, and put on the state and name of married partners and consorts. 2. That nuptials are an introduction and entrance into a new state, which is that a maiden becomes a wife, and a young man a husband, and both one flesh; and this is effected while love by ultimates unites them. That marriage actually changes a maiden into a wife, and a young man into a husband, was proved in the former part of this work; also that marriage unites two into one human form, so that they are no longer two but one flesh. 3. That nuptials are the commencement of an entire separation of the love of the s.e.x from conjugial love, which is effected while, by a full liberty of connection, the knot is tied by which the love of the one is devoted to the love of the other. 4. It appears as if nuptials were merely an interval between those two states, and thus that they are mere formalities which may be omitted: but still there is also in them this essential, that the new state above-mentioned is then to be entered upon from covenant, and that the consent of the parties is to be declared in the presence of witnesses, and also to be consecrated by a priest; besides other particulars which establish it. As nuptials contain in them essentials, and as marriage is not legitimate till after their celebration, therefore also nuptials are celebrated in the heavens; see above, n. 21, and also, n. 27-41.

307. XI. PREVIOUS TO THE CELEBRATION OF THE NUPTIALS, THE CONJUGIAL COVENANT IS TO BE RATIFIED IN THE PRESENCE OF WITNESSES. It is expedient that the conjugial covenant be ratified before the nuptials are celebrated, in order that the statutes and laws of love truly conjugial may be known, and that they may be remembered after the nuptials; also that the minds of the parties may be bound to just marriage: for after some introductory circ.u.mstances of marriage, the state which preceded betrothing returns at times, in which state remembrance fails and forgetfulness of the ratified covenant ensues; yea, it may be altogether effaced by the allurements of the unchaste to criminality; and if it is then recalled into the memory, it is reviled: but to prevent these transgressions, society has taken upon itself the protection of that covenant, and has denounced penalties on the breakers of it. In a word, the ante-nuptial covenant manifests and establishes the sacred decrees of love truly conjugial, and binds libertines to the observance of them.

Moreover, by this covenant, the right of propagating children, and also the right of the children to inherit the goods of their parents, become legitimate.

308. XII. MARRIAGE IS TO BE CONSECRATED BY A PRIEST. The reason of this is, because marriages, considered in themselves, are spiritual, and thence holy; for they descend from the heavenly marriage of good and truth, and things conjugial correspond to the divine marriage of the Lord and the church; and hence they are from the Lord himself, and according to the state of the church with the contracting parties. Now, as the ecclesiastical order on the earth administer the things which relate to the Lord"s priestly character, that is, to his love, and thus also those which relate to blessing, it is expedient that marriages be consecrated by his ministers; and as they are then the chief witnesses, it is expedient that the consent of the parties to the covenant be also heard, accepted, confirmed, and thereby established by them.

309. XIII. THE NUPTIALS ARE TO BE CELBRATED WITH FESTIVITY. The reasons are, because ante-nuptial love, which was that of the bridegroom and the bride, on this occasion descends into their hearts, and spreading itself thence in every direction into all parts of the body, the delights of marriage are made sensible, whereby the minds of the parties are led to festive thoughts and also let loose to festivities so far as is allowable and becoming; to favor which, it is expedient that the festivities of their minds be indulged in company, and they themselves be thereby introduced into the joys of conjugial love.

310. XIV. AFTER THE NUPTIALS, THE MARRIAGE OF THE SPIRIT IS MADE ALSO THE MARRIAGE OF THE BODY, AND THEREBY A FULL MARRIAGE. All things which a man does in the body, flow in from his spirit; for it is well known that the mouth does not speak of itself, but that it is the thinking principle of the mind which speaks by it; also that the hands do not act and the feet walk of themselves, but that it is the will of the mind which performs those operations by them; consequently, that the mind speaks and acts by its organs in the body: hence it is evident, that such as the mind is, such are the speech of the mouth and the actions of the body. From these premises it follows as a conclusion that the mind, by a continual influx, arranges the body so that it may act similarly and simultaneously with itself; wherefore the bodies of men viewed interiorly are merely forms of their minds exteriorly organized to effect the purposes of the soul. These things are premised, in order that it may be perceived why the minds or spirits are first to be united as by marriage, before they are also further united in the body; namely, that while the marriages become of the body, they may also be marriages of the spirit; consequently, that married partners may mutually love each other from the spirit, and thence from the body. From this ground let us now take a view of marriage. When conjugial love unites the minds of two persons, and forms them into a marriage, in such case it also unites and forms their bodies into a marriage; for, as we have said, the form of the mind is also interiorly the form of the body; only with this difference, that the latter form is outwardly organized to effect that to which the interior form of the body is determined by the mind. But the mind formed from conjugial love is not only interiorly in the whole body, round about in every part, but moreover is interiorly in the organs appropriated to generation, which in their region are situated beneath the other regions of the body, and in which are terminated the forms of the mind with those who are united in conjugial love: consequently the affections and thoughts of their minds are determined thither; and the activities of such minds differ in this respect from the activities of minds arising from other loves, that the latter loves do not reach thither. The conclusion resulting from these considerations is, that such as conjugial love is in the minds or spirits of two persons, such is it interiorly in those its organs. But it is self-evident that a marriage of the spirit after the nuptials becomes also a marriage of the body, thus a full marriage, consequently, if a marriage in the spirit is chaste, and partakes of the sanct.i.ty of marriage, it is chaste also, and partakes of its sanct.i.ty, when it is in its fulness in the body; and the case is reversed if a marriage in the spirit is unchaste.

311. XV. SUCH IS THE ORDER OF CONJUGIAL LOVE WITH ITS MODES FROM ITS FIRST HEAT TO ITS FIRST TORCH. It is said from its first heat to its first torch, because vital heat is love, and conjugial heat or love successively increases, and at length as it were into a flame or torch.

We have said "to its first torch," because we mean the first state after the nuptials, when that love burns; but what its quality becomes after this torch, in the marriage itself, has been described in the preceding chapters; but in this part we are explaining its order from the beginning of its career to this its first goal. That all order proceeds from first principles to last, and that the last become the first of some following order, also that all things of the middle order are the last of a prior and the first of a following order, and that thus ends proceed continually through causes into effects, may be sufficiently confirmed and ill.u.s.trated to the eye of reason from what is known and visible in the world; but as at present we are treating only of the order in which love proceeds from its first starting-place to its goal, we shall pa.s.s by such confirmation and ill.u.s.tration, and only observe on this subject, that such as the order of this love is from its first heat to its first torch, such it is in general, and such is its influence in its progression afterwards; for in this progression it unfolds itself, according to the quality of its first heat: if this heat was chaste, its chasteness is strengthened as it proceeds; but if it was unchaste, its unchasteness increases as it advances, until it is deprived of all that chasteness which, from the time of betrothing, belonged to it from without, but not from within.

312. XVI. CONJUGIAL LOVE PRECIPITATED WITHOUT ORDER AND THE MODES THEREOF, BURNS UP THE MARROWS AND IS CONSUMED. So it is said by some in the heavens; and by the marrows they mean the interiors of the mind and body. The reason why these are burnt up, that is, consumed, by precipitated conjugial love is, because that love in such case begins from a flame which eats up and corrupts those interiors, in which as in its principles conjugial love should reside, and from which it should commence. This comes to pa.s.s if the man and woman without regard to order precipitate marriage, and do not look to the Lord, and consult their reason, but reject betrothing and comply merely with the flesh: from the ardor of which, if that love commences, it becomes external and not internal, thus not conjugial; and such love may be said to partake of the sh.e.l.l, not of the kernel; or may be called fleshly, lean, and dry, because emptied of its genuine essence. See more on this subject above n. 305.

313. XVII. THE STATES OF THE MINDS OF EACH OF THE PARTIES PROCEEDING IN SUCCESSIVE ORDER, FLOW INTO THE STATE OF MARRIAGE; NEVERTHELESS IN ONE MANNER WITH THE SPIRITUAL AND IN ANOTHER WITH THE NATURAL. That the last state is such as that of the successive order from which it is formed and exists, is a rule, which from its truth must be acknowledged by the learned; for thereby we discover what influx is, and what it effects. By influx we mean all that which precedes, and const.i.tutes what follows, and by things following in order const.i.tutes what is last; as all that which precedes with a man, and const.i.tutes his wisdom; or all that which precedes with a statesman, and const.i.tutes his political skill; or all that which precedes with a theologian, and const.i.tutes his erudition; in like manner all that which proceeds from infancy, and const.i.tutes a man; also what proceeds in order from a seed and a twig, and makes a tree, and afterwards what proceeds from a blossom, and makes its fruit; in like manner all that which precedes and proceeds with a bridegroom and bride, and const.i.tutes their marriage: this is the meaning of influx.

That all those things which precede in minds form series, which collect together, one next to another, and one after another, and that these together compose a last or ultimate, is as yet unknown in the world; but as it is a truth from heaven, it is here adduced for it explains what influx effects, and what is the quality of the last or ultimate, in which the above-mentioned series successively formed co-exist. From these considerations it may be seen that the states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order flow into the state of marriage. But married partners after marriage are altogether ignorant of the successive things which are insinuated into, and exist in their minds (_animis_) from things antecedent; nevertheless it is those things which give form to conjugial love, and const.i.tute the state of their minds; from which state they act the one with the other. The reason why one state is formed from one order with such as are spiritual, and from another with such as are natural, is, because the spiritual proceed in a just order, and the natural in an unjust order; for the spiritual look to the Lord, and the Lord provides and leads the order; whereas the natural look to themselves, and thence proceed in an inverted order; wherefore with the latter the state of marriage is inwardly full of unchasteness; and as that unchasteness abounds, so does cold; and as cold abounds so do the obstructions of the inmost life, whereby its vein is closed and its fountain dried.

314. XVIII. THERE ARE SUCCESSIVE AND SIMULTANEOUS ORDER, AND THE LATTER IS FROM THE FORMER AND ACCORDING TO IT. This is adduced as a reason tending to confirm what goes before. It is well known that there exist what is successive and what is simultaneous; but it is unknown that simultaneous order is grounded in successive, and is according to it; yet how things successive enter into things simultaneous, and what order they form therein, it is very difficult to present to the perception, since the learned are not in possession of any ideas that can elucidate the subject; and as the first idea respecting this arcanum cannot be suggested in few words, and to treat this subject at large would withdraw the mind from a more comprehensive view of the subject of conjugial love, it may suffice for ill.u.s.tration to quote what we have adduced in a compendium respecting those two orders, the successive and the simultaneous, and respecting the influx of the former into the latter, in THE DOCTRINE OF THE NEW JERUSALEM RESPECTING THE SACRED SCRIPTURE, where are these words: "There are in heaven and in the world successive order and simultaneous order. In successive order one thing follows after another from the highest to the lowest; but in simultaneous order one thing is next to another from the inmost to the outermost. Successive order is like a column with steps from the highest to the lowest; but simultaneous order is like a work cohering from the centre to the surface. Successive order becomes in the ultimate simultaneous in this manner; the highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous, and the lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous; comparatively as when a column of steps subsides, it becomes a body cohering in a plane. Thus what is simultaneous is formed from what is successive; and this in all things both of the spiritual and of the natural world." See n. 38, 65, of that work; and several further observations on this subject in the ANGELIC WISDOM RESPECTING THE DIVINE LOVE AND DIVINE WISDOM, n. 205-229.

The case is similar with successive order leading to marriage, and with simultaneous order in marriage; namely, that the latter is from the former, and according to it. He that is acquainted with the influx of successive order into simultaneous, may comprehend the reason why the angels can see in a man"s hand all the thoughts and intentions of his mind, and also why wives, from their husbands" hands on their bosoms, are made sensible of their affections; which circ.u.mstance has been occasionally mentioned in the MEMORABLE RELATIONS. The reason of this is, because the hands are the ultimates of man, wherein the deliberations and conclusions of his mind terminate, and there const.i.tute what is simultaneous: therefore also in the Word, mention is made of a thing"s being inscribed on the hands.

315. To the above I shall add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. On a certain time I saw not far from me a meteor--a cloud divided into smaller clouds, some of which were of an azure color, some opaque, and as it were in collision together. They were streaked with translucent irradiations of light, which at one time appeared sharp like the points of swords, at another, blunt like broken swords. The streaks sometimes darted out forwards, at others they drew themselves in again, exactly like combatants; thus those different colored lesser clouds appeared to be at war together; but it was only their manner of sporting with each other. And as this meteor appeared at no great distance from me, I raised my eyes, and looking attentively, I saw boys, youths, and old men, entering a house which was built of marble, on a foundation of porphyry; and it was over this house that the phenomenon appeared. Then addressing myself to one that was entering, I asked, "What house is this?" He answered, "It is a gymnasium, where young persons are initiated into various things relating to wisdom." On hearing this, I went in with them, being then in the spirit, that is, in a similar state with men of the spiritual world, who are called spirits and angels; and lo! in the gymnasium there were in front a desk, in the middle, benches, at the sides round about, chairs, and over the entrance, an orchestra.

The desk was for the young men that were to give answers to the problem at that time to be proposed, the benches were for the audience, the chairs at the sides were for those who on former occasions had given wise answers, and the orchestra was for the seniors, who were arbitrators and judges: in the middle of the orchestra was a pulpit, where there sat a wise man, whom they called the head master, who proposed the problems to which the young men gave their answers from the desk. When all were a.s.sembled, this man arose from the pulpit and said, "Give an answer now to this problem, and solve it if you can, WHAT IS THE SOUL, AND WHAT IS ITS QUALITY?" On hearing this problem all were amazed, and made a muttering noise; and some of the company on the benches exclaimed, "What mortal man, from the age of Saturn to the present time, has been able by any rational thought to see and ascertain what the soul is, still less what is its quality? Is not this subject above the sphere of all human understanding?" But it was replied from the orchestra, "It is not above the understanding, but within it and in its view; only let the problem be answered." Then the young men, who were chosen on that day to ascend the desk, and give an answer to the problem, arose. They were five in number, who had been examined by the seniors, and found to excel in sagacity, and were then sitting on couches at the sides of the desk. They afterwards ascended in the order in which they were seated; and every one, when he ascended, put on a silken tunic of an opaline color, and over it a robe of soft wool interwoven with flowers, and on his head a cap, on the crown of which was a bunch of roses encircled with small sapphires. The first youth thus clad ascended the desk, and thus began: "What the soul is, and what is its quality, has never been revealed to any one since the day of creation, being an arcanum in the treasuries of G.o.d alone; but this has been discovered, that the soul resides in a man as a queen; yet where her palace is, has been a matter of conjecture among the learned. Some have supposed it to be in a small tubercle between the cerebrum and the cerebellum, which is called the pineal gland: in this they have fixed the soul"s habitation, because the whole man is ruled from those two brains, and they are regulated by that tubercle; therefore whatever regulates the brains, regulates also the whole man from the head to the heel." He also added, "Hence this conjecture appeared as true or probable to many in the world; but in the succeeding age it was rejected as groundless." When he had thus spoken, he put off the robe, the tunic, and the cap, which the second of the selected speakers put on, and ascended the desk. His sentiments concerning the soul are as follows: "In the whole heaven and the whole world it is unknown what the soul is, and what is its quality; it is however known that there is a soul, and that it is in man; but in what part of him is a matter of conjecture.

This is certain, that it is in the head, since the head is the seat where the understanding thinks, and the will intends; and in front in the face of the head are man"s five sensories, receiving life from the soul alone which resides in the head; but in what particular part of the head the soul has its more immediate residence, I dare not take upon me to say; yet I agree with those who fix its abode in the three ventricles of the brain, sometimes inclining to the opinion of those who fix it in the _corpora striata_ therein, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the medullary substance of each brain, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the cortical substance, and sometimes to theirs who fix it in the _dura mater_; for arguments, and those too of weight, have not been wanting in the support of each of these opinions. The arguments in favor of the three ventricles of the brain have been, that those ventricles are the recipients of the animal spirits and of all the lymphs of the brain: the arguments in favor of the _corpora striata_ have been, that these bodies const.i.tute the marrow, through which the nerves are emitted, and by which each brain is continued into the spine; and from the spine and the marrow there is an emanation of fibres serving for the contexture of the whole body: the arguments in favor of the medullary substance of each brain have been, that this substance is a collection and congeries of all the fibres, which are the rudiments or beginnings of the whole man: the arguments in favor of the cortical substance have been, that in that substance are contained the prime and ultimate ends, and consequently the principles of all the fibres, and thereby of all the senses and motions: the arguments in favor of the _dura mater_ have been, that it is the common covering of each brain, and hence by some kind of continuous principle extends itself over the heart and the viscera of the body. As to myself, I am undetermined which of these opinions is the most probable, and therefore I leave the matter to your determination and decision." Having thus concluded he descended from the desk, and delivered the tunic, the robe, and the cap, to the third, who mounting into the desk began as follows: "How little qualified is a youth like myself for the investigation of so sublime a theorem! I appeal to the learned who are here seated at the sides of the gymnasium; I appeal to you wise ones in the orchestra; yea, I appeal to the angels of the highest heaven, whether any person, from his own rational light, is able to form any idea concerning the soul; nevertheless I, like others, can guess about the place of its abode in man; and my conjecture is, that it is in the heart and thence in the blood; and I ground my conjecture on this circ.u.mstance, that the heart by its blood rules both the body and the head; for it sends forth a large vessel called the _aorta_ into the whole body, and vessels called the carotids into the whole head; hence it is universally agreed, that the soul from the heart by means of the blood supports, nourishes, and vivifies the universal organical system both of the body and the head. As a further proof of this position it may be urged, that in the Sacred Scripture frequent mention is made of the soul and the heart; as where it is said, Thou shalt love G.o.d from the whole soul and the whole heart; and that G.o.d creates in man a new soul and a new heart, Deut. vi. 5; chap. x. 12; chap. xi. 13; chap.

xxvi. 16; Jerem. x.x.xii. 41; Matt, xxii. 37; Mark xii. 30, 33; Luke x.

27; and in other places: it is also expressly said, that the blood is the soul of the flesh, Levit. xvii. 11, 14." At these words, the cry of "Learned! learned!" was heard in the a.s.sembly, and was found to proceed from some of the canons. After this a fourth, clad in the garments of the former speaker, ascended the desk, and thus began: "I also am inclined to suspect that not a single person can be found of so subtle and refined a genius as to be able to discover what the soul is, and what is its quality; therefore I am of opinion, that in attempting to make the discovery, subtlety will be spent in fruitless labor; nevertheless from my childhood I have continued firm in the opinion of the ancients, that the soul of man is in the whole of him, and in every part of the whole, and thus that it is in the head and in all its parts, as well as in the body and in all its parts; and that it is an idle conceit of the moderns to fix its habitation in any particular part, and not in the body throughout; besides, the soul is a spiritual substance, of which there cannot be predicated either extension or place, but habitation and impletion; moreover, when mention is made of the soul, who does not conceive life to be meant? and is not life in the whole and in every part?" These sentiments were favorably received by a great part of the audience. After him the fifth rose, and, being adorned with the same insignia, thus delivered himself from the desk: "I will not waste your time and my own in determining the place of the soul"s residence, whether it be in some particular part of the body, or in the whole; but from my mind"s storehouse I will communicate to you my sentiments on the subject, What is the soul, and what is its quality? No one conceives of the soul but as of a pure somewhat, which may be likened to ether, or air, or wind, containing a vital principle, from the rationality which man enjoys above the beasts. This opinion I conceive to be founded on the circ.u.mstance, that when a man expires, he is said to breathe forth or emit his soul or spirit; hence also the soul which lives after death is believed to be such a breath or vapor animated by some principle of thinking life, which is called the soul; and what else can the soul be?

But as I heard it declared from the orchestra, that this problem concerning the soul, its nature and quality, is not above the understanding, but is within it and in its view, I intreat and beseech you, who have made this declaration, to unfold this eternal arcanum yourselves." Then the elders in the orchestra turned their eyes towards the head master, who had proposed the problem, and who understood by their signs that they wished him to descend and teach the audience: so he instantly quitted the pulpit, pa.s.sed through the auditory, and entered the desk, and there, stretching out his hand, he thus began: "Let me bespeak your attention: who does not believe the soul to be the inmost and most subtle essence of man? and what is an essence without a form, but an imaginary ent.i.ty? wherefore the soul is a form, and a form whose qualities and properties I will now describe. It is a form of all things relating to love, and of all things relating to wisdom. All things relating to love are called affections, and those relating to wisdom are called perceptions. The latter derived from the former and thereby united with them const.i.tute one form, in which are contained innumerable things in such an order, series, and coherence, that they may be called a one; and they may be called a one also for this reason, because nothing can be taken away from it, or added to it, but the quality of the form is changed. What is the human soul but such a form?

are not all things relating to love and all things relating to wisdom essentials of that form? and are not these things appertaining to a man in his soul, and by derivation from the soul in his head and body? You are called spirits and angels; and in the world you believed that spirits and angels are like mere wind or ether, and thus mere mind and animation; and now you see clearly that you are truly, really, and actually men, who, during your abode in the world, lived and thought in a material body, and knew that a material body does not live and think, but a spiritual substance in that body; and this substance you called the soul, whose form you then were ignorant of, but now have seen and continue to see. You all are souls, of whose immortality you have heard, thought, said, and written so much; and because you are forms of love and wisdom from G.o.d, you can never die. The soul therefore is a human form, from which the smallest thing cannot be taken away, and to which the smallest thing cannot be added; and it is the inmost of all the forms of the whole body: and since the forms which are without receive from the inmost both essence and form, therefore you are souls, as you appear to yourselves and to us: in a word, the soul is the very man himself, because it is the inmost man; therefore its form is fully and perfectly the human form: nevertheless it is not life, but the proximate receptacle of life from G.o.d, and thereby the habitation of G.o.d." When he had thus spoken, many expressed their approbation; but some said, "We will weigh the matter." I immediately went home, and lo! over the gymnasium, instead of the foregoing meteor, there appeared a bright cloud, without streaks or rays that seemed to combat with each other, and which, penetrating through the roof, entered, and illuminated the walls; and I was informed, that they saw some pieces of writing, and among others this, "_Jehovah G.o.d breathed into the man"s nostrils the SOUL OF LIVES, and the man became a LIVING SOUL_," Gen. ii. 7.

316. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. Some time ago, as I was walking with my mind (_animus_) at rest, and in a state of delightful mental peace, I saw at a distance a grove, in the midst of which was an avenue leading to a small palace, into which maidens and youths, husbands and wives were entering. I also went thither in spirit, and asked the keeper who was standing at the entrance, whether I also might enter? He looked at me; upon which I said, "Why do you look at me?" He replied, "I look at you that I may see whether the delight of peace, which appears in your face, partakes at all of the delight of conjugial love. Beyond this avenue there is a little garden, and in the midst of it a house, where there are two novitiate conjugial partners, who to-day are visited by their friends of both s.e.xes, coming to pay their congratulations. I do not know those whom I admit; but I was told that I should know them by their faces: those in whom I saw the delights of conjugial love, I was to admit, and none else." All the angels can see from the faces of others the delights of their hearts; and he saw the delight of that love in my face, because I was then meditating on conjugial love. This meditation beamed forth from my eyes, and thence entered into the interiors of my face: he therefore told me that I might enter. The avenue through which I entered was formed of fruit trees connected together by their branches, which made on each side a continued espalier. Through the avenue I entered the little garden, which breathed a pleasant fragrance from its shrubs and flowers. The shrubs and flowers were in pairs; and I was informed that such little gardens appear about the houses where there are and have been nuptials, and hence they are called nuptial gardens. I afterwards entered the house, where I saw the two conjugial partners holding each other by the hands, and conversing together from love truly conjugial; and as I looked, it was given me to see from their faces the image of conjugial love, and from their conversation the vital principle thereof. After I, with the rest of the company, had paid them my respects, and wished them all happiness, I went into the nuptial garden, and saw on the right side of it a company of youths, to whom all who came out of the house resorted. The reason of their resorting to them was, because they were conversing respecting conjugial love, and conversation on this subject attracts to it the minds (_animos_) of all by a certain occult power. I then listened to a wise one who was speaking on the subject; and the sum of what I heard is as follows: That the divine providence of the Lord is most particular and thence most universal in respect to marriages in the heavens: because all the felicities of heaven issue from the delights of conjugial love, like sweet waters from the sweet source of a fountain; and that on this account it is provided by the Lord that conjugial pairs be born, and that these pairs be continually educated for marriage, neither the maiden nor the youth knowing anything of the matter; and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet as by chance, and see each other; and that in this case they instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are pairs, and by a kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed for some time in the mind of each, they deliberately accost each other, and betroth themselves. It is said, "as by chance," and "as by instinct," and the meaning is, by the divine providence; since, while the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance. That conjugial pairs are born and educated to marriage, while each party is ignorant of it, he proved by the conjugial likeness visible in the faces of each; also by the intimate and eternal union of minds (_animorum_) and minds (_mentium_), which could not possibly exist, as it does in heaven, without being foreseen and provided by the Lord. When the wise one had proceeded thus far with his discourse, and had received the applauses of the company, he further added, that in the minutest things with man, both male and female, there is a conjugial principle; but still the conjugial principle with the male is different from what it is with the female; also that in the male conjugial principle there is what is conjunctive with the female conjugial principle, and _vice versa_, even in the minutest things. This he confirmed by the marriage of the will and the understanding in every individual, which two principles act together upon the minutest things of the mind and of the body; from which considerations it may be seen, that in every substance, even the smallest, there is a conjugial principle; and that this is evident from the compound substances which are made up of simple substances; as that there are two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two cheeks, two lips, two arms with hands, two loins, two feet, and within in man two hemispheres of the brain, two ventricles of the heart, two lobes of the lungs, two kidneys, two t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es; and where there are not two, still they are divided into two. The reason why there are two is, because the one is of the will and the other of the understanding, which act wonderfully in each other to present a one; wherefore the two eyes make one sight, the two ears one hearing, the two nostrils one smell, the two lips one speech, the two hands one labor, the two feet one pace, the two hemispheres of the brain one habitation of the mind, the two chambers of the heart one life of the body by the blood, the two lobes of the lungs one respiration, and so forth; but the male and female principles, united by love truly conjugial, const.i.tute one life fully human. While he was saying these things, there appeared red lightning on the right, and white lightning on the left; each was mild, and they entered through the eyes into the mind, and also enlightened it. After the lightning it also thundered; which was a gentle murmur from the angelic heaven flowing down and increasing. On hearing and seeing these things, the wise one said, "These are to remind me to add the following observations: that of the above pairs, the right one signifies their good, and the left their truth; and that this is from the marriage of good and truth, which is inscribed on man in general and in every one of his principles; and good has reference to the will, and truth to the understanding, and both together to a one. Hence, in heaven the right eye is the good of vision, and the left the truth thereof; also the right ear is the good of hearing, and the left the truth thereof; and likewise the right hand is the good of a man"s ability, and the left the truth thereof; and in like manner in the rest of the above pairs; and since the right and left have such significations, therefore the Lord said, "If thy right eye scandalize thee, pluck it out; and if thy right hand scandalize thee, cut it off;" whereby he meant, if good becomes evil, the evil must be cast out. This is the reason also why he said to his disciples that they should cast the net on the right side of the ship; and that when they did so, they took a great mult.i.tude of fishes; whereby he meant that they should teach the good of charity, and that thus they would collect men." When he had said these things, the two lightnings again appeared, but milder than before; and then it was seen, that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right; on seeing which he said, "This is a sign from heaven tending to confirm what I have said; because what is firy in heaven is good, and what is white in heaven is truth; and its being seen that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right, is a demonstrative sign that the whiteness of light, or light, is merely the splendor of fire." On hearing this all went home, inflamed with the good and truth of gladness, in consequence of the above lightnings, and of the conversation respecting them.

ON REPEATED MARRIAGES.

317. It may come to be a matter of question, whether conjugial love, which is that of one man with one wife, after the death of one of the parties, can be separated, or transferred, or superinduced; also whether repeated marriages have any thing in common with polygamy, and thereby whether they may be called successive polygamies; with several other inquiries which often add scruples to scruples with men of a reasoning spirit. In order therefore that those who are curious in such researches, and who only grope in the shade respecting these marriages, may see some light, I have conceived it would be worth while to present for their consideration the following articles on the subject: I. _After the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love._ II. _It depends also on the state of marriage, in which the parties had lived._ III. _With those who have not been in love truly conjugial there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock._ IV. _Those who had lived together in love truly conjugial are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love._ V. _The state of the marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow._ VI. _The state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden differs also from that of a widower with a widow._ VII. _The varieties and diversities of these marriages as to love and its attributes are innumerable._ VIII. _The state of a widow is more grievous than that of a widower._ We proceed to the explanation of each article.

318. I. AFTER THE DEATH OF A MARRIED PARTNER, AGAIN TO CONTRACT WEDLOCK, DEPENDS ON THE PRECEDING CONJUGIAL LOVE. Love truly conjugial is like a balance, in which the inclinations for repeated marriages are weighed: so far as the preceding conjugial love had been genuine, so far the inclination for another marriage is weak; but so far as the preceding love had not been genuine, so far the inclination to another marriage is usually strong. The reason of this is obvious; because conjugial love is in a similar degree a conjunction of minds, which remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this holds the inclination as a scale in a balance, and causes a preponderance according to the appropriation of true love. But since the approach to this love is seldom made at this day except for a few paces, therefore the scale of the preponderance of the inclination generally rises to a state of equilibrium, and from thence inclines and tends to the other side, that is, to marriage. The contrary is the case with those, whose preceding-love in the former marriage has not been truly conjugial, because in proportion as that love is not genuine, there is in a like degree a disjunction of minds, which also remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this enters the will disjoined from that of the other, and causes an inclination for a new connection; in favor of which the thought arising from the inclination of the will induces the hope of a more united, and thereby a more delightful connection. That inclinations to repeated marriages arise from the state of the preceding love, is well known, and is also obvious to reason: for love truly conjugial is influenced by a fear of loss, and loss is followed by grief; and this grief and fear reside in the very inmost principles of the mind. Hence, so far as that love prevails, so far the soul inclines both in will and in thought, that is, in intention, to be in the subject with and in which it was: from these considerations it follows, that the mind is kept balancing towards another marriage according to the degree of love in which it was in the former marriage. Hence it is that after death the same parties are re-united, and mutually love each other as they did in the world: but as we said above, such love at this day is rare, and there are few who make the slightest approach to it; and those who do not approach it, and still more those who keep at a distance from it, as they were desirous of separation in the matrimonial life heretofore pa.s.sed, so after death they are desirous of being united to another. But respecting both these sorts of persons more will be said in what follows.

319. II. AFTER THE DEATH OF A MARRIED PARTNER, AGAIN TO CONTRACT WEDLOOK, DEPENDS ALSO ON THE STATE OF MARRIAGE IN WHICH THE PARTIES HAD LIVED. By the State of marriage here we do not mean the state of love treated of in the foregoing article, because the latter causes an internal inclination to marriage or from it; but we mean the state of marriage which causes an external inclination to it or from it; and this state with its inclinations is manifold: as, 1. If there are children in the house, and a new mother is to be provided for them. 2. If there is a wish for a further increase of children. 3. If the house is large and full of servants of both s.e.xes. 4. If the calls of business abroad divert the mind from domestic concerns, and without a new mistress there is reason to fear misery and misfortune. 5. If mutual aids and offices require that married partners be engaged in various occupations and employments. 6. Moreover it depends on the temper and disposition of the separated partner, whether after the first marriage the other partner can or cannot live alone, or without a consort. 7. The preceding marriage also disposes the mind either to be afraid of married life, or in favor of it. 8. I have been informed that polygamical love and the love of the s.e.x, also the l.u.s.t of deflowering and the l.u.s.t of variety, have induced the minds (_animos_) of some to desire repeated marriages; and that the minds of some have also been induced thereto by a fear of the law and of the loss of reputation, in case they commit wh.o.r.edom: besides several other circ.u.mstances which promote external inclinations to matrimony.

320. III. WITH THOSE WHO HAVE NOT BEEN IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THERE IS NO OBSTACLE OR HINDRANCE TO THEIR AGAIN CONTRACTING WEDLOCK. With those who have not been principled in conjugial love, there is no spiritual or internal, but only a natural or external bond; and if an internal bond does not keep the external in its order and tenor, the latter is but like a bundle when the bandage is removed, which flows every way according as it is tossed or driven by the wind. The reason of this is, because what is natural derives its origin from what is spiritual, and in its existence is merely a ma.s.s collected from spiritual principles; wherefore if the natural be separated from the spiritual, which produced and as it were begot it, it is no longer kept together interiorly, but only exteriorly by the spiritual, which encompa.s.ses and binds it in general, and does not tie it and keep it tied together in particular.

Hence it is, that the natural principle separated from the spiritual, in the case of two married partners, does not cause any conjunction of minds, and consequently of wills, but only a conjunction of some external affections, which are connected with the bodily senses. The reason why nothing opposes and hinders such persons from again contracting wedlock, is, because they have not been the essentials of marriage; and hence those essentials do not at all influence them after separation by death: therefore they are then absolutely at their own disposal, whether they be widowers or widows, to bind their sensual affections with whomsoever they please, provided there be no legal impediment. Neither do they themselves think of marriages in any other than a natural view, and from a regard to convenience in supplying various necessities and external advantages, which after the death of one of the parties may again be supplied by another; and possibly, if their interior thoughts were viewed, as in the spiritual world, there would not be found in them any distinction between conjugial unions and extra-conjugial connections. The reason why it is allowable for these to contract repeated marriages, is, as above-mentioned, because merely natural connections are after death of themselves dissolved and fall asunder; for by death the external affections follow the body, and are entombed with it; those only remaining which are connected with internal principles. But it is to be observed, that marriages interiorly conjunctive can scarcely be entered into in the world, because elections of internal likenesses cannot there be provided by the Lord as in the heavens; for they are limited in many ways, as to equals in rank and condition, within the country, city, and village where they live; and in the world for the most part married partners are held together merely by externals, and thus not by internals, which internals do not shew themselves till some time after marriage, and are only known when they influence the externals.

321. IV. THOSE WHO HAD LIVED TOGETHER IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL ARE UNWILLING TO MARRY AGAIN, EXCEPT FOR REASONS SEPARATE FROM CONJUGIAL LOVE. The reasons why those who had lived in love truly conjugial, after the death of their married partners a

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