"You mean he offered for you in form? Spoke to your father?"
"Yes, but we are quite simple folk." She couldn"t bring herself to remind him that she was a shopkeeper"s daughter.
True, her father was an educated man and the shop was a bookseller"s, but it was still a shop. Captain Tennant, she had heard, was connected to the n.o.bility.
"I was of age, and my parents were not about to forbid me to follow my heart."
The captain"s eyebrows rose. "So he managed a false ceremony in your own hometown. I didn"t think Fallowfield a magician."
She grimaced at him. "No, of course not. But he was clever. He came up with a reason why we should marry elsewhere. A great-aunt with property to leave who would be pleased to see us marry in her private chapel. The journey took less than a day, and our middle-aged maid accompanied me to guard my virtue."
"Why didn"t your parents travel with you?"
"My father is an invalid and my mother doesn"t like to leave him. It didn"t seem important since the next day we were to return home to celebrate the event with them."
"And?"
"And we spoke our vows in this musty old chapel which formed a kind of attachment to a decrepit house. Our witnesses were the ancient aunt and her equally ancient maid. The minister was the local parson who seemed a habitual drunkard. It wasn"t the wedding I would have chosen but I thought it legal. I was even given a signed doc.u.ment to keep."
"So when you went home, everything seemed to be in order."
"I never went home. We stayed the night in a nearby inn and the next morning were awoken by a message demanding Dennis"s instant return to his regiment. He was flatteringly upset and insisted I return to the comfort of my parents" home. I insisted on accompanying him. To this day I don"t know which he truly wanted. He"d won his wager and taken my maidenhead."
"Wager?" His body seemed relaxed and yet she sensed the anger in him.
"Three hundred guineas. Dennis was often in debt, you know. His army pay was definitely inadequate for his tastes."
All he said was, "He"s lucky he"s dead. So, was there an aunt at all?"
"Apparently not. He hired three actors and used a deserted house."
"You know, in law there doesn"t have to be a clergyman for marriage vows to be binding. The church courts don"t like it, but the civil courts will uphold a union when there are witnesses to the vows being taken."
She smiled. "I"ve learned about such things. But what chance do I have, do you think, to find those actors and have them testify to my vows? The written record just disappeared."
"The cur. And you never forced him to acknowledge you as his wife. You called yourself Mrs. Fallowfield, but most of the army camp followers take their current protector"s name. Why not, Kate? Why let him tell the world you were his doxy?"
She studied him. "I think you doubt my tale, Captain. I don"t blame you. I did protest the situation, but he told me that he was not allowed to marry without his colonel"s permission. I think that is true."
"Indeed it is. But the worst he"d have suffered would have been a blistering reprimand."
"He convinced me he"d lose his commission. And of course, it was only for a little while until the right moment to ask. He also reminded me that I had my marriage lines if I ever truly needed to prove my virtue. He was a most persuasive man."
The expression in the captain"s shadowed eyes was disturbing, though Kate couldn"t tell if it was anger, disbelief, or even disgust at her stupidity. She looked up at the dark beams in the ceiling. "They weren"t bad times, you know. Dennis was always charming until pressed to be otherwise, and army life was an adventure for me."
"You were starved for adventure?"
She rolled her head to meet his eyes. "I wouldn"t have thought so, but I think perhaps I was. Otherwise, I would have returned home after the wedding, wouldn"t I, and not be in this ridiculous pickle."
"So, when did the bubble burst?"
She looked back at the ceiling. "When I realized I was with child. I was a few months into it before it really dawned on me. I wasn"t sick as some women are. I just began to find my gowns too tight at the waist. Of course, I immediately told Dennis and pointed out that he must gain Colonel Purdue"s approval of the marriage and make it public." She sighed. "The next few months were . .. difficult."
She started when he touched her cheek, then moved into his hand, looking at him. His expression was still enigmatic, but at least it was sympathetic.
He doubtless thought her a complete fool, but not a lying tart.
"I noticed Fallowfield grow more and more out of humor."
"Probably because I would not let the matter drop. He was alternately charming and terrifying so that I had no idea what to do, particularly when I was beginning to suspect that he was being unfaithful to me. When he was charming I truly believed that soon all would be put right. When he was angry, I was afraid of him. But then, since Dennis seemed so nervous of speaking to the colonel, and yet the man was quite kind to me, I said I would approach him."
He winced. "And that"s when it all blew up."
"Exactly. He threw me out with just enough money to get me home. But first he explained that we weren"t married at all, or certainly not in any way that I could prove. Of course I raced to find my precious piece of paper, but it was already gone. I doubt it would have served. It could have been written by anyone, anywhere. It"s witnesses that matter."
He rolled onto his back. "He died instantly, you know. At the moment I could relish the memory of him perishing slowly and in pain."
She reached over and took his hand. "Don"t. That serves no purpose. He was as he was. It was my fault for being so stupid."
He carried her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss softly over her knuckles. "None of it was your fault, Kate, none of it. I saw you leave, though. How did you come to be here?"
He still held her hand, and it was pleasant to leave it there. Dennis"s hands had been strong but slender and he"d gone to some trouble to keep them soft.
Captain Tennant"s hand engulfed hers in warm rough skin. It made her feel very safe.
"I headed back to England with a convoy of wounded soldiers. It was as if I were sleepwalking. I was numb. I didn"t know what to do since I dreaded returning to my home in this state. But then one day I awoke. I realized he hadn"t just branded me a wh.o.r.e, but he"d branded his child a b.a.s.t.a.r.d. It shouldn"t matter. It doesn"t matter in G.o.d"s eyes. But it just wasn"t right, and I was not about to let him get away with it."
The anger returned, the fierce flame that had carried her back across the continent, and had swept up poor Mr. Rightwell in the final stages. "I set off back to the army. I begged rides on carts when I could, and walked when I couldn"t. I wouldn"t stop or be stopped. Dennis was going to marry me properly before true witnesses, or I would tell Colonel Purdue everything and ask him to throw Dennis out of the regiment."
"And I always thought you such a sensible woman."
"Did you?" She realized she was gripping his hand tight enough to hurt, and let go. "I thought so, too. I suppose I did become a little wild, but what would you have done?"
He laughed softly. "For a host of reasons, it"s hard for me to put myself in your position. But did it not occur to you to worry about a lifetime married to such a man, especially when you"d brought him to his knees?"
She sat up, hugging her knees. "No. It is rather daunting. But what else could I have done?"
"I don"t know." He sat up. Slowly, he reached out to touch her cheek. She glanced at him, sensing something in the air, then feeling his hand coil around her neck. She stiffened under the tantalizing, intimate touch, but did not pull away. It did not feel wrong ...
"And you"ve landed in the suds again, haven"t you?" he said softly. "Married to me."
"I don"t think so."
Those eyes studied her, studied her lips so she could almost feel them there as a touch. "I"ve been wanting to kiss you, Kate, from the first moment I saw you. This may not be the ideal moment, but it could be the only one we have. Will you permit it?"
From the first moment? What was he saying? "You"ve already kissed me a few times, Captain, and without asking permission at all."
"I wasn"t sure you noticed. But I want to kiss you properly, Kate. Deeply, thoroughly."
Kate felt that perhaps she should object, though she couldn"t think why. They were married, after all, absurd though it might be. And her lips were already hungering for a kiss. "I... I don"t object, Captain."
"Charles," he said as he shifted closer so he could draw her against his shoulder. "Please try to think of me as Charles, at least for a moment or two."
His shoulder was very wide and hard. And yet comfortable. She was sure she"d rested against it many times during her labor, but this was the first time she"d been able to think about it. It fit her head better than Dennis"s had. His arm around her seemed more cradling, more secure.
His lips were soft, though his bristles certainly weren"t. It was the first time she"d ever been kissed by a man with stubble around his mouth, for Dennis"s blond beard had been quite soft and he"d been fastidious about shaving.
She"d used to think Dennis"s care over such things very attractive, but now she didn"t mind the feel of bristles at all.
Nor did she mind the insistent pressure of strange lips, or the first contact of a strange tongue with hers.
She let him take her weight and take her mouth and drifted on novel and highly pleasant sensations. His smell was different. His smell was actually quite pungent since it must be days since he"d had any chance to wash. That didn"t seem to bother her, either. If anything it excited her, that mingled smell of sweat and blood. She didn"t suppose she was any too delicate herself.
She even began to think that it would have been pleasant if there"d been a chance of taking it further. They were married, after all.. .
He drew back from the kiss, lids relaxed over smiling eyes turned almost dreamy. "I hate to stop, but if I don"t I"ll soon be in a state quite unsuited to our situation."
Kate pushed back fl.u.s.tered, not so much by his words but by the fact that they echoed her own. Intimacy with Dennis had been pleasant, but there"d been none of the fire she"d sensed in that mere kiss. Perhaps this, too, was an effect of birth.
If so, it was a very illogical one!
"I do like it when you smile like that," he said.
"Like what?"
His thumb brushed one corner of her mouth. "Your lips turn up just here."
"Do they? That sounds most peculiar."
"It"s charming. I noticed it the first time we met."
When I was Dennis Fallowfield"s doxy, she thought bitterly. She remembered Captain Tennant saying that he had wanted to kiss her then. She doubted his intentions had ever been honorable.
She began to regret their recent kiss and the message it might have sent him. Her body provided distraction. "I"m afraid I need to relieve myself, Captain."
It wiped away his lazy smile. "We"ve no chamber pot."
"I never supposed you had. I"m used to using the latrine."
"It"s outside."
"So I would think."
He laughed. "Not even the most gallant knight errant could solve this problem for you, could he?" He stood and held out his hand. "Can you walk?"
"I think so." She put her hand in his strong one and was pulled to her feet. For a moment, she swayed, but then with the help of his arm she regained her balance. He wrapped her heavy cloak around her, then helped her over to the door that led into the ruined half of the building.
He turned away while she used the crude latrine, and only turned back when she touched him.
"All right?"
"Yes."
He wrapped an arm around her and she discovered that his shoulder was perfectly positioned for her head when standing up, too. His strong hand rubbed at her back, making her almost want to purr.
He spoke softly, almost to himself. "These things come upon us at the most d.a.m.nable moments."
Before she could ask what he meant, he led her back into the warm room and settled her on the bed. Of course he"d meant that she"d summoned his desire at a time when he couldn"t a.s.suage it.
Without asking permission, he lay close beside her and gathered her into his arms. He was so big and warm that her instinct to resist melted in a moment and she drifted back into sleep.
She awoke alone on her bed to noises, misty morning light, and a deep weariness. Then she remembered her baby and turned to him.
He was gone.
So was the captain!
She ripped back the curtain and met the startled eyes of the soldiers all involved in packing their possessions. Clutching her blanket closer around herself, she desperately searched for her child.
She almost screamed. He was in the hands of a haggard dirty creature who was baring huge yellow teeth at him. But then she came to her senses. It was amiable Peabody, who couldn"t help having teeth the size and color of a horse"s.
The door swept open and Kate huddled further in her blanket as cool air blasted her. The door slammed shut. The captain had returned. In his red braided jacket and tall black boots he once more seemed the charismatic man she"d always found fascinating. And rather daunting.
Had they really kissed in the night? Had he confessed to having always wanted to kiss her?
She never would have guessed, particularly from the cool, a.s.sessing glance he flicked over her now. Whatever they had been to each other in the night, she was now a problem to be dealt with.
Belatedly, she realized that the weather outside, though chilly, had been clear and sunny. Traveling weather if she was up to it. She had to be up to it. a.s.sessing herself, she felt stiffness and some tenderness between her legs, but no particular aches and pains. She"d probably tire easily, but she could try to walk back to camp.
Perhaps she looked afraid, for the captain"s expression changed. He grinned for her in the devil-may-care way that the whole regiment recognized as a sign that Charles the Bold was about to take on death again. And win.
She hoped.
She"d married the man.
She must have been mad. She could never cope with such energy, such risk-taking, and he could never have really intended to tie himself to a woman such as she.
In their last devastating encounter, Dennis had clearly told her that she should never have expected that even a son of the gentry would marry into trade, and he"d been right. Though she"d loved him for himself, she"d been extremely flattered by his attentions. Captain Charles Tennant was undoubtedly far, far above her touch.
He rescued the baby from the doting Peabody and came over, the child a tiny bundle in his big right arm. "We just wanted to let you rest as long as possible. But it"s time to move."
No "Are you able?" she noticed.
Pushing weariness aside, she said, "It certainly is," and took the hand he extended. She was sure his pull contributed as much as her rather shaky legs, but she hoped he didn"t notice. If he believed she could not cope, he"d be on the horns of a terrible dilemma.
How far could she walk today, though? Perhaps out of sight would be far enough.
"Are you in pain?" he asked curtly, shattering her hopes of looking indomitable.