Kate emerged, hoping her smile looked convincing. "But I like to, Papa. And with Jess and Mama both doting on Stephen, I"m hardly needed except at feeding time."
He chuckled. "Yes, your mother is in heaven, isn"t she? Thank you for coming home, Kate." "Thank you for letting me." He raised his gray eyebrows. "Would we turn you away? But you have a duty to your husband"s family, too. Is that who you were searching for?"
Of course, he would know exactly what books she"d been consulting. "Yes," she lied, feeling like the worst sinner. "I didn"t find anything, though." "Ah well, some people are sadly without near kin. There is that great-aunt, however. In due course you must contact her and ask about family."
It was a command, and the matter would not be forgotten. How had she ever thought to manage this deception?
A customer came in and she went to serve him, happy of the distraction. Of course she was offered sympathy and lured into conversation about her time with the army. At least she could talk of such matters without outright lies.
The days soon fell into a pattern that would have been pleasant except for nagging guilt and the fear that at any moment her illusion would crack open to reveal her a liar. And to plunge her and the captain into disaster.
She"d checked other books and found that, as she feared, inheriting a t.i.tle was not simple. When a new peer applied to take his seat in the House of Lords, a committee investigated his claim. Normally this was just pro forma, but sometimes they dug deep. In one case, a man had been cut out of the t.i.tle because his parents hadn"t been married at his birth, even though they"d tried to forge doc.u.ments later. In Stephen"s case, they might insist that he was the rightful lord even if neither she nor the captain wished it.
She clung to the hope that Thomas Tennant had had a son, but still hadn"t found a way to find out more about the Tennant family without raising suspicion.
Nor did she know whether the captain was still alive.
She was avoiding the papers that lay out on a table in the shop for all to read. Thank heavens Jess couldn"t read, or she"d be poring over the army news. She often begged Kate to read such items to her but Kate always found an excuse.
Horribly, she couldn"t help thinking that it would be so convenient if the captain was dead. At that thought, however, she experienced a real physical pain in her chest. She hardly knew the man, so why did he seem such an important part of her world?
He is your husband after all, a little voice reminded her.
A fact I"m sure he"d much rather forget.
Perhaps not. No one forced him. Perhaps he"ll want to be married in truth.
And acknowledge a son not of his blood? And a wife from a shop?
Then perhaps he"ll contact you and tell you what he wants you to do.
Perhaps he will, thought Kate, pushing the matter yet again to the back of her mind.
When Charles Edward Stuart landed in Scotland, however, attempting to raise that nation in support of a Stuart claim to the throne, she found she couldn"t resist the papers any longer. The rebellion was all anyone wanted to talk about, and she was as interested as they.
The recall of troops from the continent to face this new threat was an essential part of the story, but she didn"t see anything about the Buffs. When she came across important news, however, it was quite incidental.
The name Tennant leaped out at her. It was among a list of officers giving up their commissions, and the editor of the paper had added a special note.
Major Charles Tennant-so he"d been promoted- had resigned his commission in order to support and a.s.sist his elderly uncle, Lord Jerrold, grieving over the cruel murder of his son and heir Thomas Tennant by the highwayman Jem Suffolk, hanged for the crime at the Colchester a.s.sizes. Major Tennant was now heir to the viscountcy.
Well, there it was, and it must even mean his father was dead. He was next in line.
And he was now in England.
That fact created an absurd little fizz inside her until she realized that he hadn"t contacted her.
His silence, added to the fact that he was now heir to a t.i.tle, should have simplified matters. She must keep silent for his sake.
It plagued her conscience, however, so that strife in Scotland faded to insignificance alongside the warring loyalties in her mind. Kate"s mother must have noticed, for one day she pushed her down into a chair in the parlor and said, "Kate, tell me what is the matter."
Kate tried to find the strength to lie yet again, and failed. She told her mother the whole sorry story, most it through tears.
"Well!" said her mother, fairly quivering with outrage. "If Dennis Fallowfield were still alive, he"d wish he wasn"t!"
Kate laughed and blew her nose. "That"s what Captain Tennant said."
"He sounds like a man with some sense of right and wrong. So, Kate, what are you going to do?"
Her mother was an amiable, soft-seeming woman, but Kate knew her sense of right and wrong was firm. Sitting on the moral fence would be unacceptable. "What do you think I should do?"
"It"s for you to decide, dear, but you cannot hide from it. Your captain-or major as he is now-is caught in this dilemma, too. He is married and thus cannot marry again. Yet he may wish to. He may feel it his duty to provide an heir for this t.i.tle."
"He has a brother .. ."
Her mother fixed her with a look. "You would condemn him to chast.i.ty or a life of sin?"
Kate hadn"t quite looked at it that way, since she knew perfectly well that the captain had not led a life of chast.i.ty.
It was true, however, that he might want a family of his own.
She gnawed on a fingernail, a habit she thought she"d broken in childhood. "But if we make our marriage known, Stephen will be his legal heir."
"There must be a way of getting around that."
"Perhaps, but only by making a horribly public scandal of the whole thing. It would brand me a wh.o.r.e and Stephen a b.a.s.t.a.r.d to the world. Must I really do that?"
Her mother turned pale. "The poor innocent. If only we could find those actors who played aunt, companion, and clergyman. They"d still serve as witnesses."
"And what, do you think, is the chance of that?"
"As likely as a rain of fish. Oh Kate, poor Kate."
"But what am I to do, Mama?"
"I think you must go to see Major Tennant and discuss the matter. Perhaps he can see a way out of the situation. Even if not, you owe him the chance to have a say."
"He could have found me if he"d wished to speak of it!"
"Perhaps he feels you don"t want the matter raised. Come, come," she said briskly, "no good will ever be done by shilly-shallying and talk might clear the air.
"Talk might dig me deeper in the hole," Kate muttered, burningly aware of one possibility. That she might be Major Tennant"s true and only wife and therefore have to save him from a life of chast.i.ty or sin. The thought was terrifying, but it carried a certain wanton appeal.
In the weeks after the birth she"d thought herself drained of all desire. Time had healed, however, and now at moments her body longed for a man. She would have expected her desire to be for Dennis, who had been a satisfying lover on his good days. Instead, memories of lying in Captain Tennant"s arms, of that long and stirring kiss, spun off into more erotic fantasies.
It was really all most embarra.s.sing.
"Perhaps I should wait," she said, rising to fuss with the copper molds on the shelf. "Stephen"s too young to be an easy traveler ..."
"Stephen"s six months old and able to do without you, now that you"re no longer breast-feeding him. He"s taking pap and goat"s milk well."
"I can hardly travel cross-country alone."
"Take Jess."
"I hate to leave you ..."
"We coped before, and can again."
Kate pushed back a lock of escaping hair. "You"re determined on this, aren"t you, Mama?"
"It"s right, my dear."
Kate sighed. "Yes, it"s right. And as with a trip to the toothpuller, it will be horrid, but I"ll feel better when it"s done."
Her mother stood. "Good. I pray it will put an end to this moping around. But don"t tell your father why you"re traveling. It will only fret him. We"ll just say you"re going to visit an army friend."
"Lies, Mama?" Kate teased.
"Not exactly." But her mother"s color was high. "You know how he frets."
"Just as much as you do." Kate hugged her mother, who was a head shorter than she. "Is that what love is, all this protection?"
Shrewd blue eyes looked up. "Love? Is that why you"re trying to protect this Charles Tennant?"
Kate could feel her color flare. "Love? I hardly know the man!"
"I met your father at the Michaelmas fair." Kate"s mother"s eyes became unfocused as she looked into the past. "Of course, we had seen one another about. But that was the first time we really noticed, if you know what I mean. We spent most of the day together, and we both knew. Sometimes it"s like that, Kate."
Kate shivered with a kind of recognition.
"But what if it"s impossible?"
Her mother patted her cheek. "Few things really are, dear. You go to this Strode Kingsley and talk to your young man."
Aylesbury to Strode Kingsley was not a great distance as the crows fly, but by stagecoach it would require another journey into and out of London. So Kate used some of the remaining fifty guineas to hire a post chaise for herself and Jess to travel cross country.
Jess was mightily impressed. "Very nice," she said, settling into one of the two red-upholstered seats. "I"ve never traveled post before."
"Nor have I." As the coach pulled out of the inn yard into the road, Kate added, "You"ve always known about Major Tennant and me, haven"t you?" Jess shrugged. "Rumors reached the camp before we left. Didn"t surprise me. I"d seen the way he looked at you now and then." She clutched onto the strap. "Lordy, we"re going fast."
"The advantage of traveling in style. How do you mean, looked at me?"
Jess turned to her. "All the men looked at you, and that"s no lie, but the captain, he had that look in his eye. Not just admiration. Not just l.u.s.t. More than that. Can"t describe it if you don"t know it. It"s when you know a man"s yours for the wink."
"You must be mistaken! We scarcely ever spoke."
"What"s that got to do with it? He was hardly going to make a play for a fellow officer"s woman now, was he?
Especially when relations weren"t too cordial between them at the best of times."
Kate tried to make Jess"s comments fit her memories. "They didn"t like each other, did they?"
"Never did, and less so when the lieutenant came back with you. But he was a good soldier, the lieutenant, and in a strange way the two of them worked well together in the fighting. The captain would never risk messing that up over a woman." Kate smiled ruefully. "That puts me in my place." Jess shook her head. "You gentry folk. Everything has its place. Do we worry about the men"s feelings when there"s a baby to be born?" "I certainly didn"t."
"So I should hope. And look at marriage. I gather you were upset because the lieutenant didn"t marry you, but what good is marriage and those so-called sacred vows? Does the parson come around and tell a man he"s to worship his wife and hand over all his worldly goods? Not b.l.o.o.d.y likely. But he"ll preach about how a woman should obey her husband. Can"t see the sense in marriage, myself."
"It gives a woman legal protection, and it makes her children legitimate."
"And who makes life difficult for poor little b.a.s.t.a.r.ds?" Jess was warming to her subject, and Kate couldn"t help feeling that she"d be a fine orator. "The church and the men who make the laws, that"s who! And as for protection, a few words don"t make a man respectful or faithful. It"s how they treat you that counts. And if they treat you bad, you land "em one, or just go find a man who appreciates what he"s got. If you"re not married, there"s nothing to stop you."
Kate burst out laughing. "Oh, Jess! How true. It doesn"t work that way in Aylesbury, though."
Jess grinned. "So I gather. When I"ve got you settled, I think I"ll get back to the Buffs. Things are a deal simpler in the army."
Kate had already ascertained that Strode Kingsley had a small inn, the Jerrold Arms, and had written to request accommodation for a few days for herself and her maid. The innkeeper greeted her courteously and his curiosity about her purpose was subtle enough to be ignored.
She was astonished that he didn"t seem to see that she was pulled tight as a harp string.
From first rolling into the tiny village she had expected to see Major Tennant at any moment. She"d studied the few people on the evening street in search of him. What foolishness. There was no reason he should be there when light was fading.
She was worried that she wouldn"t recognize him, yet certain that was impossible. True, she"d be hard pressed to draw an accurate picture of his face even though she had some talent, and her memories of that wild night in the farmhouse were almost dreamlike. But for all her time with the Buffs she"d been aware of his presence-his height, his broad shoulders, his walk. Yes, his walk. For a big man, he moved gracefully, seeming more comfortable in open s.p.a.ces than when confined. And he walked confidently, as if sure of his place on the earth.
She would recognize that walk.
Surely she would recognize his features, too, unless he had relatives who very closely resembled him. She could never forget that combination of dark hair and dark eyes along with a very determined chin.
Jittery, Kate decided that evening, was the only way to describe her state. If it wouldn"t be outrageous, she"d storm up to the Grailings immediately and demand to see him. It was bad enough, however, to turn up unexpectedly in the middle of the day. She couldn"t possibly do it in the evening.
She picked at an excellent dinner glad that at least Jess was doing justice to it. After prowling their room for a while she announced she was going out.
Jess heaved to her feet somewhat reluctantly, so Kate waved her back. "I"m just going to walk up and down the street a little before the sun goes down. In such a small place I won"t even be out of sight of the inn."
She swung on her cloak and went down the stairs, which emerged into the one open tap room. She was aware again of the curious looks from the innkeeper and his patrons. Any new face would be remarkable a small village like this, and she knew her face was remarkable in any location.
Trying to look uncaring, she strolled to the door and almost collided with someone coming in.
She looked up into dark, well-remembered eyes. Startled eyes.
"Kate?"
"Oh. Oh no!" She turned away, hand to face, and heard herself babble another embarra.s.sing, "Oh no!"
He seized her arm and turned her back. "If you try to persuade me that this encounter is entirely by accident, you will stretch my credulity, you know."
At least a smile lurked in those eyes, allowing her to rally. "I"m sure, sir, that any number of people stop in this charming inn for no particular reason at all."